Guide to Screening Filipinas for LTR Material
![[Image: Maja-Salvador-2B.jpg]](https://media.philstar.com/images/the-philippine-star/entertainment/20150320/Maja-Salvador-2B.jpg)
Introduction
The Philippines is a wonderful place to visit. It is cheap, the beaches are beautiful, the people are friendly, and English is spoken almost universally. Many men choose to make it their destination to experience the warm, attractive, and friendly women who don't demand a lot of work to get into bed.
For those that are used to the crassness of women in the West, it is easy to get a soft spot for Filipinas. On the surface, many appear conservative: they're devoted to their families, they go to church, they often have domestic skills, and they're sweet. They don't seem to buy into feminism and like to please their men. But things are not always as they first appear. There are many aspects about Filipinas that may bring challenges down the road.
Some of the qualities which make Filipinas great for companions during short vacations make them bad bets for a LTR. Generally, they are dishonest, impulsive, and emotionally volatile compared to other groups of women. Many men I know and whose opinion I respect have said that you should not marry a Filipina. While I wouldn't go that far, I would caution the men out there to be very discerning with the Filipinas they become close with. I've had both traumatizing (eye opening) and rewarding experiences with Filipinas, and I certainly wouldn't rule all of them out for an LTR.
What makes them an attractive option is their English ability (you don't have to spend years learning a new language), their pleasantness, and their domestic abilities. However, the internet is full of horror stories of men who have been scammed, cheated, and had their lives destroyed by Filipinas because they didn't know better. I would encourage any man wishing to go this route to know what he's getting in to. For a man considering a Filipina as an LTR, it might make more sense to try some mini LTRs first to get a feel for the lay of the land. This is not a game guide. I will echo some words of wisdom:
Most men who go to the Philippines won't need any game to get female attention. This guide is meant for guys that are interested in more than a ONS with a Filipina to help screen out the bad apples. Its probably best to view this guide as a warning of what to avoid than what to seek out.
Before we begin
As background, this is written from the experiences being an early-late 20s white male of below average (Western) height, modest game, above average empathy, above average socioeconomic status and education. Many of the frustrating aspects of Filipino culture don't bother me that much, and I would even consider myself someone who has an irrational love of all things Filipino. All things to consider before moving forward.
This guide is based solely on my experiences, research, and personal opinion. It is based on roughly half a dozen excursions to the Philippines, discussions with other men who have spent considerable time living or traveling there, discussions with native Filipinos, many ONSs, dates, and LTRs with Filipinas, and years of personal research into Filipino culture and history. Many of what I'm about to write are generalizations, so treat them as such. My experiences may vary from yours, as they are colored by my appearance, cultural upbringing, and personality inclinations. Your mileage may vary (YMMV). I would encourage the reader to use this guide to get a rough idea of the picture, but to explore on their own.
Before going any further, I would recommend reading calwinston's excellent “Philippines Observations, Suggestions, and Comments“ Thread to get a quick primer on Filipinas and the Philippines: thread-50668.html
The Filipina
It's easy for your average westerner to fall in love with a Filipina. They are sweet, loving, often know how to cook and clean, seem to be family oriented, seem to take religion seriously, and are always down to smash. It seems too good to be true. And it is. In the next paragraph I'll discuss some of the good and bad qualities to consider. I would point out that these are the qualities of your average Filipina. This guide will start by broadly generalizing your average Filipina, and progressively delve into more specific types of personalities, and personal qualities later on. For now, treat the following as a baseline. As I will get into later, Filipinas can be quite diverse, and a lot of the downsides can be avoided with the right screening.
The Good
Filipina Archetypes
![[Image: groNina.jpg]](https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ftrlVF4riTs/TamoDp-lZtI/AAAAAAAABKQ/ntDpnZpbILI/s1600/groNina.jpg)
GRO: “Guest Relations Officer”, a euphemism for prostitute. They are usually easy to spot both online and in person. In person they will be the ones to open you. Online, they can be identified by having sexually suggestive pictures, short profiles with words like “fun”, and will offer to give “massage” or similar. The more subtle ones will offer to come over but want you to cover inflated transportation prices. Anyone asking for over 500php in transportation fees is likely a GRO. Avoid.
![[Image: 12338984_907475942676091_305253932_n.jpg...53D%253D.2]](https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/e35/12338984_907475942676091_305253932_n.jpg%3Fig_cache_key%3DMTEzMzYxODE4MTAxMTI2MTU5Ng%E2%80%8B%253D%253D.2)
Online Chameleon: There are many Filipinas on dating sites that will be happy to entertain multiple guys at once. They'll have older “boyfriends” who give them an “allowance” of hundreds of dollars each month in return for the illusion of a committed relationship with a young and attractive woman. Many of them are doing this to multiple guys at once and making a good living off it. Once you're out of the country, these same girls are sleeping with every young foreigner who comes through town. If you're in an LTR, you really don't know if this applies to your girl. Avoid.
Online Goldilocks: They've been on online dating sites for years, but haven't found a guy to settle down with yet. This usually means she fits into one or more of the following: 1) She will often have an unhealthy, hostile attitude towards Filipino guys (which your future son might internalize), 2) She's been pumped and dumped many times (impulsive, bad judgment), 3) She's always searching for an option to trade up. Any girl whose online for a very long time is either using it for income, has some major flaw that is not readily apparent, or is looking to trade up. Avoid.
![[Image: cathy-remperas12.jpg]](https://4.bp.blogspot.com/_bCh-gAJte7Y/SurhkT8uHBI/AAAAAAAADSY/LrPUJYFgT4s/s320/cathy-remperas12.jpg)
Hardworking Girl: These girls are often responsible types working in professions like teaching, nursing, human resources, and so on. They will often spend their off days going to church, spending time with family, and taking care of chores around the house. They're often so busy that they rarely have the opportunity to meet people. They may have had a bad experience in a past relationship, or have heard about a positive experience from a friend who married a foreigner. Many won't stick around dating sites for long when they discover that most guys only want sex. They'll often be curious about meeting a foreigner online, but will often be picky and conservative. Consider.
![[Image: 1d4466d36d7bb1bfc87b2515e6ffe5f7.jpg]](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/1d/44/66/1d4466d36d7bb1bfc87b2515e6ffe5f7.jpg)
Upper class Girl: Similar to the hardworking girl, with some differences. She may have grown up with a maid in the house and a personal driver, and may see certain chores as below her. On the bright side, she is often more intelligent, and is unlikely to need your financial support for her family. If she's a Chinese Filipino, it may be difficult for her family to consider you as a legitimate prospect. Consider
Screening
Now that you have a general idea of Filipinas, and some of the most common personality types you'll come across, let's get into a deeper discussion of the specific traits to look for, and ones to watch out for. These are my personal opinion. They may vary in severity based on the socioeconomic status of the girl in question.
Some red flags will be dealbreakers for some but not for others depending on your preferences and your goals. If you're looking to select a girl to bring to Palawan for a week, or a mini-LTR, many of the red flags can be overlooked. If you're looking for a mini LTR, the emotional volatility and intensity of love might even add to the excitement and experience. I would still look for a baseline level of trustworthiness if you're going to let them near your valuables. Fortunately, many Filipinas are careless at hiding red flags, so it should be easy to filter them. This is by no means an exhaustive list.
WARNING: Before going any further, EVERY guy should be aware of cluster B personality disorders. This is MANDATORY. Many guys whose personality types are suited (overly empathetic) to Filipinas are particularly vulnerable. The emotional volatility and intensity of emotions can be addictive, but in the end you are setting yourself up for trouble. I myself have made the mistake of dating a BPD and HPD, but was fortunate to escape and learn from the experience. These people are dangerous. Please read the following before even considering dating anyone long term:
http://therawness.com/my-cluster-b-philosophy/
Red Flags
- Many male friends on their facebook, particularly older men: Good indicator that they're courting multiple guys at once, or worse, they're a freelance GRO.
- Has pictures of them in expensive looking hotel rooms or exotic locations despite being poor: She's trading her body for money or a free vacation.
- Has pictures of gifts from sponsors on their facebook: GRO.
- Ever asks money for questionable “problems”: She's using you for money, and lieing.
- Has unemployed family members which have no plans on finding gainful employment: They will always leech off you as long as you breathe
- Gets jealous or passive aggressive for no apparent reason: This won't be the first or last time. You are dealing with an emotional child, not an adult. Do you really want this person raising your future children? Do you want to deal with drama that you don't even know the cause of?
- Strongly encourages you to open a business in the Philippines: May be a scammer; the Philippines is a protectionist economy, and often if you buy property or own a business you'll have to put it in her name. Lots of horror stories start like this.
- Spends a considerable amount of time on facebook, or has 500+ facebook friends: Needs attention and validation.
- Ever makes false gossip about other people: Buddy, someday she will do that about you. It will create unnecessary drama with the family or worse, lead to false allegations.
- Has a history of impulsive decisions: Dating bad boys, running away, getting a tattoo, etc.
- Lies to keep up image: You will never know the truth from the lie. You will never be able to trust them.
- She will sleep with you the first time you met her: This isn't the first time she's done this.
- She won't bring up using a condom, or will actively encourage you not to use one: This isn't the first time she's done this.
- She has trashy friends: You are the company you keep.
- She lets her family take advantage of you: you will always be second fiddle.
- She doesn't have a job but spends a lot of time on dating sites: Possible GRO
- She stops making effort (cooking, looking nice, great sex, etc) after you've grown comfortable
- She lives alone despite her parents living close enough to her work
- She shows signs of laziness, lateness, etc. She will work only as hard as she needs to get what she wants.
- Shes anxious to come back to your (Western) country before she knows much about you.
- Broke up with a past boyfriend out of boredom, or for no apparent reason.
Yellow Flags
- Single mom: Sign of impulsiveness or inability to keep a man. Mitigated by the reputation of Filipino men to be absent fathers; may not have been her fault.
- Ever asks for money: This is how it starts. Mitigated if you've been together for a long time, she's genuinely poor, and she's already done a lot for you: cooking, chores, helping to plan, etc.
- She sides with her family over you: Depending on the circumstances this could be a major red flag or a mild positive.
- She says she is a virgin: Tons of sluts will say this despite coming straight back to your place on the first meetup. If she has other green flags it may be true, but I wouldn't subject yourself to celibacy unless she's cool with you discretely having women on the side.
Green Flags
- She is responsible with work, chores, or other commitments
- She arrives on time or is able to keep plans
- She comes from a poor background but offers to pay for things once in a while
- She has options (bad boys, foreigners looking for an ONS; sex for easy money) which she doesn't take for personal reasons. This one is a HUGE green flag if you ever plan on bringing her back to a place where her options will change.
- If she's going out, she lets you know where she's going, and who she's going with.
- She's happy to cook, clean, and help out even after the “bait and switch” period
- She lives with parents if shes under 30
- The rest of fer family is mostly responsible and self sufficient. Big green flag.
- She understands and agrees not to send money back to family members if they'll waste it
- She understands and agrees that if she's not giving you sex, you'll look elsewhere discretely (A big ask for most Filipinas)
- She can communicate things honestly before they become a problem. BIG green flag. Alternatively, she won't create drama when they do.
- She refuses to sleep with you the first time you meet. Gets shy from simply kissing on a first date (considered taboo for traditional Filipinas).
- She can carry on interesting conversations with you, or understand complex subjects.
- You can leave her around your valuables and she won't touch shit.
- She will protect you from scams or getting ripped off.
- She will stick around to make sure you're on your way safely (in a cab), or go out of her way to accommodate you.
- If you're away from her, she makes every effort to communicate with you.
- If you're away from her, she handwrites letters for you.
- She makes a concerted effort to be accepted by your mother.
Hunting Unicorns?
After reviewing that list, many of you may be thinking that it's impossible to find a Filipina with a short list of those red flags and a long list of those green flags. I've often heard people saying the quality in the Philippines awful. I tend to disagree.
First, most guys who come to the Philippines come for the easy layup. It's a tall order to ask someone to put in the work to pursue quality when there's a constant stream of 6s pounding on your doorstep to netflix and chill. The sampling bias will naturally skew perceptions. If you're willing to be more picky, you can find quality. While the average Filipina is definitely not on par with your average East Asian, it's not a tall order to break into higher tiers given your elevated status.
For one, many Filipinos don't have a lot to offer middle tier and above women. Many are unemployed, underemployed, and the amount which have good, stable, middle class and above incomes are few and far between. Even fewer are the ones who are well traveled, educated, and good looking. When the bar is low, it is easy to stand out as the best bet in town.
Another factor working in your favor is some womens' preference for Westerners. Some Filipinas prefer Western men because they're perceived as being less judgmental, less jealous, less likely to get angry or violent, more well traveled and worldly wise, less likely to have a mistress, and more honest compared to Filipinos. You can find quality if you're willing to be patient and picky.
How to stand out
To get value, you have to give value. The youngtallcool player who cruises through town for a hookup is well known in the Philippines and many of the girls you'd want to take seriously will actively avoid them. Otherwise they wouldn't be good girls. As such, it's good to tone down the player vibe, and turn up the stable, well traveled, educated professional vibe.
Stay in good shape, dress nice whenever possible (nice jeans or chinos even on hot nights), show that you live a respectable lifestyle, speak in an educated manner, and show respect when appropriate. If you can come up with legitimate excuses for why you're in her country that don't sound like you're there for women, that always helps. If you know some Filipino history and culture, it shows you have a genuine interest in their country and people.
Where to Find them
Consider that most of the better woman you'll be looking for are fairly busy. They'll be commuting to work early, working a 10 hour day, and commuting back with little time for recreation. Their weekends will be spent with family, doing chores, or attending church. Once they've graduated college, there's little opportunity to meet a decent guy outside of work. Occasionally they will hear of a friend who met a foreigner where everything worked out, and they'll be curious to try it for themselves.
Some online dating sites and apps provide them a platform where they can browse potential matches in their very limited free time. If you are patient and know how to market yourself, I believe you can find some quality online. I've dated at least one model, and a number of really cute and sweet good girls off DIA. I've met a doctor, a seventh day adventist, and a Chinese Filipina from a power family off Tinder. With DIA, you have to be patient. Quality doesn't come around often, and it gets taken off the market quickly. That, or they get jaded with all the playboys and perverts that they ragequit after a few days. DIA will display when someone is a new member, and that's always a good thing to look out for.
A surprising number of educated Pinays are on Tinder, though the quality has gone downhill over time. I would still put up a clean, professional looking picture, and write a profile that makes you sound interesting, responsible, and genuine. Many times I matched with women who specifically said they swiped because of what I wrote.
On the weekends, you might be able to find them at malls. Generally they will be dressing classier, more mature, or at the very least, more conservatively. If you are staying long term, as you meet people from higher social circles, you may eventually get introduced to them at group events. Regardless of how you meet them, their personality should slowly emerge through conversation, and when meeting them in person. The more you get to know them, the easier it is to screen them based on the qualities already mentioned.
Most Important Qualities
There is no rush. You should have plenty of options to choose from if you're doing this right. When something bothers you or you pick up a red flag, listen to your gut and don't try to rationalize it away too quickly. DO NOT think with your dick if you're in this for more than a few months. Do not think with your heart if you're in this for more than a few years. In every relationship I've seen that lasted over a few years, the honeymoon period has faded and the couple is focused on being comfortable and forming a mutually beneficial partnership. In that respect, I think it's best to look for someone you can trust, and someone you can count on when you really need them. If you got hit by a bus tomorrow, would your kids be well looked after? Does this woman benefit you, or is she a drag on you?
Considering the above, I think the most important trait to look for with Pinays is responsibility. Can she look after herself when she needs to? Does she show up when she says she will? Does she own up to her mistakes? If you're considering the possibility of bringing her back to your country, perhaps the biggest trait to look for is how she reacts to new options. Did she have the opportunity to act on her tingles and date the class bad boy, but decided not to out of self respect? Did she have the option to party it up with friends but decided not to because it might lead to bad decisions? When a girl has a pattern of behavior of sticking to how she was raised no matter the situation she's placed in, that gives me much more confidence in bringing her to a new environment. Past performance is a good indicator of future performance.
Further, she should look up to you, respect you, and submit to you. In this crazy environment we find ourselves in, it's a dangerous proposition to let the woman steer the ship. They don't like it; women look to a man for security and grounding. Some women will only do it long enough to get something, but the ones who can do it without making any fuss seem most comfortable in this arrangment. She should know your ground rules and be comfortable with them. Ultimately, a relationship where both partners have realistic expectations, are honest with each other, and are able to accommodate each others needs is best for everyone.
I could go on and on, but I think I've covered enough material to give most guys a basic idea of what to watch out for and what to prioritize. For most of you this will just be a reminder of what you already know, but given the popularity of the Philippines as a destination, and the alluring qualities of Filipinas to the newcomer, I think a fair assessment was long overdue. I hope some of you find it useful. Feel free to add anything I missed, and as always, reach out to me on PM if you want to discuss anything further. I wish you all the best of luck out there. Ingat ka!
Acknowledgements
calwinston – For writing the “Philippines Observations, Suggestions, and Comments“ thread. It's what encouraged me to become active again on the website after years of silent browsing.
oneeyedjack – For his generosity in gifting me gold. This encouraged me to think about what I could contribute that would be valuable to other guys here. If not for him, I may have never written this.
Dagnasty – For his insights into Filipinas based on his experiences as a veteran of game living in Manila for years.
YardDog – For giving me the confidence to express some opinions I'm in the minority on. Through discussion, I've realized that many of his experiences confirmed my unconventional notions.
Philippines thread contributors – For providing page after page of phenomenally useful eyes on the ground information and insight into all things Philippines.
NASA Test Pilot – For encouraging the community to better ourselves, and for providing an example to aspire to.
Roosh – For providing a platform for men of all backgrounds to come together and share valuable knowledge
And all the rest of your shitlords I forgot to mention. You know who you are.
Post 500
![[Image: Maja-Salvador-2B.jpg]](https://media.philstar.com/images/the-philippine-star/entertainment/20150320/Maja-Salvador-2B.jpg)
Introduction
The Philippines is a wonderful place to visit. It is cheap, the beaches are beautiful, the people are friendly, and English is spoken almost universally. Many men choose to make it their destination to experience the warm, attractive, and friendly women who don't demand a lot of work to get into bed.
For those that are used to the crassness of women in the West, it is easy to get a soft spot for Filipinas. On the surface, many appear conservative: they're devoted to their families, they go to church, they often have domestic skills, and they're sweet. They don't seem to buy into feminism and like to please their men. But things are not always as they first appear. There are many aspects about Filipinas that may bring challenges down the road.
Some of the qualities which make Filipinas great for companions during short vacations make them bad bets for a LTR. Generally, they are dishonest, impulsive, and emotionally volatile compared to other groups of women. Many men I know and whose opinion I respect have said that you should not marry a Filipina. While I wouldn't go that far, I would caution the men out there to be very discerning with the Filipinas they become close with. I've had both traumatizing (eye opening) and rewarding experiences with Filipinas, and I certainly wouldn't rule all of them out for an LTR.
What makes them an attractive option is their English ability (you don't have to spend years learning a new language), their pleasantness, and their domestic abilities. However, the internet is full of horror stories of men who have been scammed, cheated, and had their lives destroyed by Filipinas because they didn't know better. I would encourage any man wishing to go this route to know what he's getting in to. For a man considering a Filipina as an LTR, it might make more sense to try some mini LTRs first to get a feel for the lay of the land. This is not a game guide. I will echo some words of wisdom:
Quote:Quote:- calwinston
You are not gaming the women here, the women are trying to game you to support them and their family for life.
Most men who go to the Philippines won't need any game to get female attention. This guide is meant for guys that are interested in more than a ONS with a Filipina to help screen out the bad apples. Its probably best to view this guide as a warning of what to avoid than what to seek out.
Before we begin
As background, this is written from the experiences being an early-late 20s white male of below average (Western) height, modest game, above average empathy, above average socioeconomic status and education. Many of the frustrating aspects of Filipino culture don't bother me that much, and I would even consider myself someone who has an irrational love of all things Filipino. All things to consider before moving forward.
This guide is based solely on my experiences, research, and personal opinion. It is based on roughly half a dozen excursions to the Philippines, discussions with other men who have spent considerable time living or traveling there, discussions with native Filipinos, many ONSs, dates, and LTRs with Filipinas, and years of personal research into Filipino culture and history. Many of what I'm about to write are generalizations, so treat them as such. My experiences may vary from yours, as they are colored by my appearance, cultural upbringing, and personality inclinations. Your mileage may vary (YMMV). I would encourage the reader to use this guide to get a rough idea of the picture, but to explore on their own.
Before going any further, I would recommend reading calwinston's excellent “Philippines Observations, Suggestions, and Comments“ Thread to get a quick primer on Filipinas and the Philippines: thread-50668.html
The Filipina
It's easy for your average westerner to fall in love with a Filipina. They are sweet, loving, often know how to cook and clean, seem to be family oriented, seem to take religion seriously, and are always down to smash. It seems too good to be true. And it is. In the next paragraph I'll discuss some of the good and bad qualities to consider. I would point out that these are the qualities of your average Filipina. This guide will start by broadly generalizing your average Filipina, and progressively delve into more specific types of personalities, and personal qualities later on. For now, treat the following as a baseline. As I will get into later, Filipinas can be quite diverse, and a lot of the downsides can be avoided with the right screening.
The Good
- Attractive: There are many young, skinny, attractive women to choose from. A foreigner should have high status here, and many options to choose from. You are the one being chased in this environment.
- Feminine: The women are shy, sweet, and often polite. A very welcome change to anyone whose used to the crassness of women in the west.
- Domestically inclined: Most women know how to cook a decent meal, and feel it's their duty to keep a house clean. Many Filipinas will randomly start doing your dishes or folding your blankets after visiting your condo.
- English ability: English is widely spoken, so communication will be easier compared to many other countries with feminine women.
- Helpful: Many Filipinas will often make efforts to keep you safe, to avoid ripoffs, they're good at budgeting (when you force them to), giving backrubs, putting on liniment oil when you're sick, etc.
- Sexual: Despite being from a conservative culture, Filipinas might be the horniest girls on the planet. If your sexual needs are high, they may keep you sated and keep your interest from straying.
- Emotionally volatile: Filipinas often act on their feelings without considering the long term consequences. That can mean random outbreaks of jealousy, violence, lust (for other men), feelings of abandonment, and the instigation of drama for no apparent reasons. This may be exciting at first but is a bad recipe for a long term sustainable partnership.
- Impulsive: Along with the volatility, their impulsiveness leads them to make bad decisions. Going home with a guy they just met, making impulse purchases with money they don't have, running away from home when they get upset, and so on. It can seem childish and inexplicable to the outside of observer, but when you're forced the one whose forced to deal with it, it's enormously frustrating.
- Intellectually simple: With an average national IQ of 86, carrying on an intellectually stimulating conversation with a Filipina will be a challenge. Many of their interests are confined to gossip, teledramas, and shopping. Not a deal breaker for some, but consider trying to communicate complicated concepts to someone whose response to “What are your favorite hobbies?” might be 'I lIkE coOk, watch tv, umm shopping at mall hehe'.
- Bad communicators: Due to a culture that places emphasis on face over truth, you will often never know their true emotions or intentions. With an emphasis on avoiding confrontation, they are often passive aggressive, and will resort to spreading petty gossip behind your back. This leads to a lot of misunderstandings that create unnecessary drama, difficulty planning, and massive frustration.
- Image over substance: To a Filipina, all that matters is how she is seen, NOT what the actual truth is. As such, they are incredibly good self marketers. If you let yourself be fooled by them, you will often be left with someone who is vastly different than what you expected on paper. Be prepared to deal with many lies, broken promises, and major dissappointments.
- Money holes: No, not that money hole. Many Filipinas come from poor backgrounds with large extended families. There is a cultural expectation for family members to help each other, regardless of how lazy or one sided the arrangement. As a foreigner, you will be seen as rich regardless of your financial standing. You will be expected to give hundreds of dollars every month to the whole family while expecting nothing in return. You will never be thanked for it, and if you don't do it, you will be seen as a scumbag and gossiped about by the rest of the family. Often other family members will live off your money like welfare payments, and I've heard of cases where it's been used to finance drug habits, parties, and gambling.
- Problems: Really just another name for begging for money, or to avoid the fallout from bad decisions. Filipinas will often make up stories in order to get you to send them money: My niece is sick and in the hospital, my father died and we need to pay for the funeral, need to pay tuition, my father died (again) and we need to pay for the (second) funeral. They will also make up excuses for why they couldn't make it. Overall it shows a pattern of lieing and shows they can't be trusted.
- Filipinas are very short, at an average height under 5'. If you're a short guy, you will still be perceived as tall and women will come to you much more easily than in other countries
- Filipinas are very polite, it is rare that you'll have a bad rejection. Very little downside to attempting day game here.
- Filipinas are more open to older men than other countries. All things considered, they make a better option than most for the older guy who still wants to settle down.
Filipina Archetypes
![[Image: groNina.jpg]](https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ftrlVF4riTs/TamoDp-lZtI/AAAAAAAABKQ/ntDpnZpbILI/s1600/groNina.jpg)
GRO: “Guest Relations Officer”, a euphemism for prostitute. They are usually easy to spot both online and in person. In person they will be the ones to open you. Online, they can be identified by having sexually suggestive pictures, short profiles with words like “fun”, and will offer to give “massage” or similar. The more subtle ones will offer to come over but want you to cover inflated transportation prices. Anyone asking for over 500php in transportation fees is likely a GRO. Avoid.
![[Image: 12338984_907475942676091_305253932_n.jpg...53D%253D.2]](https://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s320x320/e35/12338984_907475942676091_305253932_n.jpg%3Fig_cache_key%3DMTEzMzYxODE4MTAxMTI2MTU5Ng%E2%80%8B%253D%253D.2)
Online Chameleon: There are many Filipinas on dating sites that will be happy to entertain multiple guys at once. They'll have older “boyfriends” who give them an “allowance” of hundreds of dollars each month in return for the illusion of a committed relationship with a young and attractive woman. Many of them are doing this to multiple guys at once and making a good living off it. Once you're out of the country, these same girls are sleeping with every young foreigner who comes through town. If you're in an LTR, you really don't know if this applies to your girl. Avoid.
Online Goldilocks: They've been on online dating sites for years, but haven't found a guy to settle down with yet. This usually means she fits into one or more of the following: 1) She will often have an unhealthy, hostile attitude towards Filipino guys (which your future son might internalize), 2) She's been pumped and dumped many times (impulsive, bad judgment), 3) She's always searching for an option to trade up. Any girl whose online for a very long time is either using it for income, has some major flaw that is not readily apparent, or is looking to trade up. Avoid.
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Hardworking Girl: These girls are often responsible types working in professions like teaching, nursing, human resources, and so on. They will often spend their off days going to church, spending time with family, and taking care of chores around the house. They're often so busy that they rarely have the opportunity to meet people. They may have had a bad experience in a past relationship, or have heard about a positive experience from a friend who married a foreigner. Many won't stick around dating sites for long when they discover that most guys only want sex. They'll often be curious about meeting a foreigner online, but will often be picky and conservative. Consider.
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Upper class Girl: Similar to the hardworking girl, with some differences. She may have grown up with a maid in the house and a personal driver, and may see certain chores as below her. On the bright side, she is often more intelligent, and is unlikely to need your financial support for her family. If she's a Chinese Filipino, it may be difficult for her family to consider you as a legitimate prospect. Consider
Screening
Now that you have a general idea of Filipinas, and some of the most common personality types you'll come across, let's get into a deeper discussion of the specific traits to look for, and ones to watch out for. These are my personal opinion. They may vary in severity based on the socioeconomic status of the girl in question.
Some red flags will be dealbreakers for some but not for others depending on your preferences and your goals. If you're looking to select a girl to bring to Palawan for a week, or a mini-LTR, many of the red flags can be overlooked. If you're looking for a mini LTR, the emotional volatility and intensity of love might even add to the excitement and experience. I would still look for a baseline level of trustworthiness if you're going to let them near your valuables. Fortunately, many Filipinas are careless at hiding red flags, so it should be easy to filter them. This is by no means an exhaustive list.
WARNING: Before going any further, EVERY guy should be aware of cluster B personality disorders. This is MANDATORY. Many guys whose personality types are suited (overly empathetic) to Filipinas are particularly vulnerable. The emotional volatility and intensity of emotions can be addictive, but in the end you are setting yourself up for trouble. I myself have made the mistake of dating a BPD and HPD, but was fortunate to escape and learn from the experience. These people are dangerous. Please read the following before even considering dating anyone long term:
http://therawness.com/my-cluster-b-philosophy/
Red Flags
- Many male friends on their facebook, particularly older men: Good indicator that they're courting multiple guys at once, or worse, they're a freelance GRO.
- Has pictures of them in expensive looking hotel rooms or exotic locations despite being poor: She's trading her body for money or a free vacation.
- Has pictures of gifts from sponsors on their facebook: GRO.
- Ever asks money for questionable “problems”: She's using you for money, and lieing.
- Has unemployed family members which have no plans on finding gainful employment: They will always leech off you as long as you breathe
- Gets jealous or passive aggressive for no apparent reason: This won't be the first or last time. You are dealing with an emotional child, not an adult. Do you really want this person raising your future children? Do you want to deal with drama that you don't even know the cause of?
- Strongly encourages you to open a business in the Philippines: May be a scammer; the Philippines is a protectionist economy, and often if you buy property or own a business you'll have to put it in her name. Lots of horror stories start like this.
- Spends a considerable amount of time on facebook, or has 500+ facebook friends: Needs attention and validation.
- Ever makes false gossip about other people: Buddy, someday she will do that about you. It will create unnecessary drama with the family or worse, lead to false allegations.
- Has a history of impulsive decisions: Dating bad boys, running away, getting a tattoo, etc.
- Lies to keep up image: You will never know the truth from the lie. You will never be able to trust them.
- She will sleep with you the first time you met her: This isn't the first time she's done this.
- She won't bring up using a condom, or will actively encourage you not to use one: This isn't the first time she's done this.
- She has trashy friends: You are the company you keep.
- She lets her family take advantage of you: you will always be second fiddle.
- She doesn't have a job but spends a lot of time on dating sites: Possible GRO
- She stops making effort (cooking, looking nice, great sex, etc) after you've grown comfortable
- She lives alone despite her parents living close enough to her work
- She shows signs of laziness, lateness, etc. She will work only as hard as she needs to get what she wants.
- Shes anxious to come back to your (Western) country before she knows much about you.
- Broke up with a past boyfriend out of boredom, or for no apparent reason.
Yellow Flags
- Single mom: Sign of impulsiveness or inability to keep a man. Mitigated by the reputation of Filipino men to be absent fathers; may not have been her fault.
- Ever asks for money: This is how it starts. Mitigated if you've been together for a long time, she's genuinely poor, and she's already done a lot for you: cooking, chores, helping to plan, etc.
- She sides with her family over you: Depending on the circumstances this could be a major red flag or a mild positive.
- She says she is a virgin: Tons of sluts will say this despite coming straight back to your place on the first meetup. If she has other green flags it may be true, but I wouldn't subject yourself to celibacy unless she's cool with you discretely having women on the side.
Green Flags
- She is responsible with work, chores, or other commitments
- She arrives on time or is able to keep plans
- She comes from a poor background but offers to pay for things once in a while
- She has options (bad boys, foreigners looking for an ONS; sex for easy money) which she doesn't take for personal reasons. This one is a HUGE green flag if you ever plan on bringing her back to a place where her options will change.
- If she's going out, she lets you know where she's going, and who she's going with.
- She's happy to cook, clean, and help out even after the “bait and switch” period
- She lives with parents if shes under 30
- The rest of fer family is mostly responsible and self sufficient. Big green flag.
- She understands and agrees not to send money back to family members if they'll waste it
- She understands and agrees that if she's not giving you sex, you'll look elsewhere discretely (A big ask for most Filipinas)
- She can communicate things honestly before they become a problem. BIG green flag. Alternatively, she won't create drama when they do.
- She refuses to sleep with you the first time you meet. Gets shy from simply kissing on a first date (considered taboo for traditional Filipinas).
- She can carry on interesting conversations with you, or understand complex subjects.
- You can leave her around your valuables and she won't touch shit.
- She will protect you from scams or getting ripped off.
- She will stick around to make sure you're on your way safely (in a cab), or go out of her way to accommodate you.
- If you're away from her, she makes every effort to communicate with you.
- If you're away from her, she handwrites letters for you.
- She makes a concerted effort to be accepted by your mother.
Hunting Unicorns?
After reviewing that list, many of you may be thinking that it's impossible to find a Filipina with a short list of those red flags and a long list of those green flags. I've often heard people saying the quality in the Philippines awful. I tend to disagree.
First, most guys who come to the Philippines come for the easy layup. It's a tall order to ask someone to put in the work to pursue quality when there's a constant stream of 6s pounding on your doorstep to netflix and chill. The sampling bias will naturally skew perceptions. If you're willing to be more picky, you can find quality. While the average Filipina is definitely not on par with your average East Asian, it's not a tall order to break into higher tiers given your elevated status.
For one, many Filipinos don't have a lot to offer middle tier and above women. Many are unemployed, underemployed, and the amount which have good, stable, middle class and above incomes are few and far between. Even fewer are the ones who are well traveled, educated, and good looking. When the bar is low, it is easy to stand out as the best bet in town.
Another factor working in your favor is some womens' preference for Westerners. Some Filipinas prefer Western men because they're perceived as being less judgmental, less jealous, less likely to get angry or violent, more well traveled and worldly wise, less likely to have a mistress, and more honest compared to Filipinos. You can find quality if you're willing to be patient and picky.
How to stand out
To get value, you have to give value. The youngtallcool player who cruises through town for a hookup is well known in the Philippines and many of the girls you'd want to take seriously will actively avoid them. Otherwise they wouldn't be good girls. As such, it's good to tone down the player vibe, and turn up the stable, well traveled, educated professional vibe.
Stay in good shape, dress nice whenever possible (nice jeans or chinos even on hot nights), show that you live a respectable lifestyle, speak in an educated manner, and show respect when appropriate. If you can come up with legitimate excuses for why you're in her country that don't sound like you're there for women, that always helps. If you know some Filipino history and culture, it shows you have a genuine interest in their country and people.
Where to Find them
Consider that most of the better woman you'll be looking for are fairly busy. They'll be commuting to work early, working a 10 hour day, and commuting back with little time for recreation. Their weekends will be spent with family, doing chores, or attending church. Once they've graduated college, there's little opportunity to meet a decent guy outside of work. Occasionally they will hear of a friend who met a foreigner where everything worked out, and they'll be curious to try it for themselves.
Some online dating sites and apps provide them a platform where they can browse potential matches in their very limited free time. If you are patient and know how to market yourself, I believe you can find some quality online. I've dated at least one model, and a number of really cute and sweet good girls off DIA. I've met a doctor, a seventh day adventist, and a Chinese Filipina from a power family off Tinder. With DIA, you have to be patient. Quality doesn't come around often, and it gets taken off the market quickly. That, or they get jaded with all the playboys and perverts that they ragequit after a few days. DIA will display when someone is a new member, and that's always a good thing to look out for.
A surprising number of educated Pinays are on Tinder, though the quality has gone downhill over time. I would still put up a clean, professional looking picture, and write a profile that makes you sound interesting, responsible, and genuine. Many times I matched with women who specifically said they swiped because of what I wrote.
On the weekends, you might be able to find them at malls. Generally they will be dressing classier, more mature, or at the very least, more conservatively. If you are staying long term, as you meet people from higher social circles, you may eventually get introduced to them at group events. Regardless of how you meet them, their personality should slowly emerge through conversation, and when meeting them in person. The more you get to know them, the easier it is to screen them based on the qualities already mentioned.
Most Important Qualities
There is no rush. You should have plenty of options to choose from if you're doing this right. When something bothers you or you pick up a red flag, listen to your gut and don't try to rationalize it away too quickly. DO NOT think with your dick if you're in this for more than a few months. Do not think with your heart if you're in this for more than a few years. In every relationship I've seen that lasted over a few years, the honeymoon period has faded and the couple is focused on being comfortable and forming a mutually beneficial partnership. In that respect, I think it's best to look for someone you can trust, and someone you can count on when you really need them. If you got hit by a bus tomorrow, would your kids be well looked after? Does this woman benefit you, or is she a drag on you?
Considering the above, I think the most important trait to look for with Pinays is responsibility. Can she look after herself when she needs to? Does she show up when she says she will? Does she own up to her mistakes? If you're considering the possibility of bringing her back to your country, perhaps the biggest trait to look for is how she reacts to new options. Did she have the opportunity to act on her tingles and date the class bad boy, but decided not to out of self respect? Did she have the option to party it up with friends but decided not to because it might lead to bad decisions? When a girl has a pattern of behavior of sticking to how she was raised no matter the situation she's placed in, that gives me much more confidence in bringing her to a new environment. Past performance is a good indicator of future performance.
Further, she should look up to you, respect you, and submit to you. In this crazy environment we find ourselves in, it's a dangerous proposition to let the woman steer the ship. They don't like it; women look to a man for security and grounding. Some women will only do it long enough to get something, but the ones who can do it without making any fuss seem most comfortable in this arrangment. She should know your ground rules and be comfortable with them. Ultimately, a relationship where both partners have realistic expectations, are honest with each other, and are able to accommodate each others needs is best for everyone.
I could go on and on, but I think I've covered enough material to give most guys a basic idea of what to watch out for and what to prioritize. For most of you this will just be a reminder of what you already know, but given the popularity of the Philippines as a destination, and the alluring qualities of Filipinas to the newcomer, I think a fair assessment was long overdue. I hope some of you find it useful. Feel free to add anything I missed, and as always, reach out to me on PM if you want to discuss anything further. I wish you all the best of luck out there. Ingat ka!
Acknowledgements
calwinston – For writing the “Philippines Observations, Suggestions, and Comments“ thread. It's what encouraged me to become active again on the website after years of silent browsing.
oneeyedjack – For his generosity in gifting me gold. This encouraged me to think about what I could contribute that would be valuable to other guys here. If not for him, I may have never written this.
Dagnasty – For his insights into Filipinas based on his experiences as a veteran of game living in Manila for years.
YardDog – For giving me the confidence to express some opinions I'm in the minority on. Through discussion, I've realized that many of his experiences confirmed my unconventional notions.
Philippines thread contributors – For providing page after page of phenomenally useful eyes on the ground information and insight into all things Philippines.
NASA Test Pilot – For encouraging the community to better ourselves, and for providing an example to aspire to.
Roosh – For providing a platform for men of all backgrounds to come together and share valuable knowledge
And all the rest of your shitlords I forgot to mention. You know who you are.
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