[AneroidOcean]

(05-28-2015 05:07 PM)jariel Wrote:  

Thoughts?

He's very likely been abandoned by women or had women's attention/love withheld when he was growing up.

He will not find happiness in this woman. She is also beat in the face when you look at other pictures. He's dating down but thinks he's dating up, this won't last as long as he has the attitude that she is his "queen."

[samsamsam]

He has no power in the relationship. Especially with that wall of text. He made it clear she is the prize not him. And something weird about her face. He seems like a nice guy, I wish him the best, but she will be cheating on him soon enough.

[jariel]

(05-28-2015 08:14 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

He seems like a nice guy, I wish him the best, but she will be cheating on him soon enough.

No doubt, part of the problem is that they work together as celebrity fitness trainers, which means they often cross paths and ultimately work with men who are much higher value than him -- fame, money, status -- highly doubtful she'll turn down all of their advances.

[kaotic]

You know...it's the loudest dudes in the room that are the most insecure, vulnerable, and don't have the upper hand in a relationship.

You'll see these guys:
-post constantly about their girl
-talk about things they did for their girl
-constantly post things they're doing with their girl
-they'll have a ton of photos on their IG and FB with them

You'll notice these guys's girls:
-don't post much about them on social media
-hide their relationship status on FB
-won't bring up their BF in real life

I was one of those guys - and I see it now.

With my main, she doesn't have much social media thank god, and I never post about her, hell we aren't even friends on FB, EVEN BETTER.

It's the silent ones who are the most confident and strongest, they hold the frame.

I can see the night and day difference between how I acted with my ex and this new LTR.

[Samseau]

I think that Luther guy still has a lot to learn.

As for Deluge:

Quote:

That is the thing I was wondering, how hard a "good girl" actually is to find. At the same time I feel like I don't want to base any decision I make off of a scarcity mindset. Also I feel too young to get settled down even in the medium term. I don't know where I'll be at with my life in my 30's but I'd like to think if I could find one who could've been "wife material" before then I can do it again then when my value is higher and ideally with more of an age gap between us. I've decided I might get back together with her when I return from Europe at this stage, but who knows for how long. It also depends on how much dick she takes while we're broken up and whether my attitudes change while living overseas.

First of all, the scarcity mindset applies for SEX, not good wife material. Good wife material nowadays - extremely scarce. About 1 in 200 by my estimates. And do not forget, that 1 out of 200 woman still needs to be attracted to you. When you factor in that an ALPHA can only attract 3-5% women he approaches, and only 1 out 200 women are actually chaste, the actual numbers is something like 1 out of 5000 women to find a chaste women. And then you still need to find out if you can actually stomach her personality and see if you can make it with her in the long haul. It's a shit load of work. 5000 women is at least 2-3 years worth of approaches.

No offense - but the fact you think good girls are easy to find tells me you're inexperienced with women. I've had so many sluts on my bed I know better than to assume any woman is a good girl.

The one caveat to the above is that this only applies to Anglo Westernized countries. I have no idea how things are in non-Anglo Western countries, but assume it's not much better if better at all. However, in non-Western countries I would venture to guess the good girl ratio climbs to 1 in 100, or 1 in 50, or even 1 in 25 (this is like Saudi Arabia or India type levels). But getting a wife from these places involves many other challenges that might not be worth it for you.

Still, if you're not ready to take the plunge and become a husband (maybe you don't have enough money or job security, or maybe you just feel you need to crush more ass), then here's what I'd say to the girl when you break things off:

"Look (girls' name), I think you're a sweetheart and I wish I could become your husband tomorrow. But I'm not going to be that man anytime soon because I still have a lot of growing left to do. I don't want you to think there's anything wrong with yourself, other than your crazy politics, so please take my advice on just one thing after I leave here today. DATE AN OLDER MAN AFTER ME, at least 5 years older, preferably 10, so he can give you the family you deserve. Guys your age won't be ready to settle down, not to mention most of us are broke anyways*. I know you'd make a great mother and you need a man who can give you that, and unfortunately that's not going to be me. I just cannot be a husband right now because (tell her the truth why you cannot)."

Simple as that. Don't dump her and leave her without guidance, because remember most females simply have no clue how to lead a good life and their parents usually are completely out of touch and have no guidance to offer either.

* This may not be true for Aussies as the economy seems to be doing well over there. Not so much in America, Britain, or Canada.

[jariel]

More from Luther...

Quote:

I certantly do not have a problem constantly glorifying my woman.. Don't let the men in the street tell your woman how beautiful she is more than you. Fill her love bank up and remind her daily how proud of her you are. Tell her & Show Her that you appreciate her daily... Be open and honest about everything in your relationship, NO SECRETS!! Give her access to your all your passwords and phone.. This will show her what's yours is hers and that you will ALWAYS have absolutely nothing to hide. There are many people in this world looking for a good thing.. So if you have it, Cherish it.. Protect it... Nourish it... Enjoy every moment!!! #Wce #WomanCrushWednesday

https://instagram.com/p/2XNcj2E_eJ/

Coming up on...

[TravelerKai]

That Luther guy is doing the same shit all these famous black personalities are doing lately. A particular strain or variant of WhiteKnighting. Maybe we should call it BlackKnighting or Black Chivalry. Is there a such thing as Race Knighting? I cannot for the life of me figure out if it is mostly business/marketing strategy garbage or legitimate cringeworthy beta male bullshit. Maybe it is both. That NBA Lean in Shit literally has every good player except the obvious legit players like John Wall. We all know Dwyane Wade is a complete simp, but are all of those cats weak like this?

It is like they are too eager to show their racial solidarity by supporting black women as a whole. I know the NBA is mostly black, but why are all the faces on the commercials black? I don't recall any other ethnicities in it and I can barely stand to watch it to go find it on Youtube right now. Stephen A Smith, was right to bring up race and black women when the Ray Rice shit went down, because black women are more physically violent with black males but no one wants to discuss that at all because all women get a pussy pass on responsibility in this country. The SJWs flogged him until he was in trouble for daring to insinuate a woman is responsible for her actions and behavior.

Now you have the SJWs infiltrating the NBA to up the ante and black athletes are falling on the swords like the idiotic suckers they are because they are either pussy hungry, pussy whipped, effeminate beta males, legitimately ignorant, wannabe savvy businessmen, too Liberal/PC politically active, or too wrapped up in racebait. Young black men can have a very hard time keeping their emotions in check when discussing racial issues on any level. Virtually all of us have had this problem. In alot of ways black men have to take two red pills. One to shrug off racial insecurity baggage and a second to understand the true nature of women and relationships. One condition was created by American society and the other by their mothers hoodwinked by feminism. Because they have not taken the red pill on racial issues they let their emotions carry them into the wrong direction like Luther and fall into the same ol Whiteknighting trap, under the wink wink, nod nod of peacocking their pro-blackness.

Oh yeah and Jariel you got a cold heart chief. I used to dream about having the perfect woman for a wife as a kid. My own Helen of Troy basically. I used to read tons of classics and Greek stuff even as a very little kid. That said, we all know I'm eggheaded as fuck. I bet only Samseau and QC probably read more Greek and Roman stuff as a kid than I did.

Now that I think about it... That Helen of Troy for me as a kid was not even a black woman. Haha. Let me shut up and get back to work....

[Vaun]

Listen, I have been there too, and very recently. But a question for the OP; but why on earth would you keep an "LTR" in your life if you didn't care about that person? Or have any LTR at all? What is it about relationships like this that add value to your life? Easy sex? Someone to split the rent with, or someone to have around so you aren't lonely? What possible benefit does it add to your life? And what are you lacking to create this void in your life, that you have to fill with some random women you keep hanging around you?

Just browsing at Luther, my gut says this is all a ploy to boost is Instagram following among his chubby yoga pant wearing clients. He is basically writing line for line, exactly what women say they want men to be. Women eat this crap up. Its Steve Harvey game. Never discount the will power and hidden agenda of the humble bragging micro-celebrity.

[CleanSlate]

(05-29-2015 02:36 AM)jariel Wrote:  

More from Luther...

Quote:

I certantly do not have a problem constantly glorifying my woman.. Don't let the men in the street tell your woman how beautiful she is more than you. Fill her love bank up and remind her daily how proud of her you are. Tell her & Show Her that you appreciate her daily... Be open and honest about everything in your relationship, NO SECRETS!! Give her access to your all your passwords and phone.. This will show her what's yours is hers and that you will ALWAYS have absolutely nothing to hide. There are many people in this world looking for a good thing.. So if you have it, Cherish it.. Protect it... Nourish it... Enjoy every moment!!! #Wce #WomanCrushWednesday

https://instagram.com/p/2XNcj2E_eJ/

Coming up on...

[samsamsam]

Fill her love bank up? Does he also write for Hallmark?

Vaun may be right just a way of selling the Hollywood bullshit to fat chicks to get them as clients or recruit for his cult, I mean church.

[Vaun]

(05-29-2015 09:04 AM)samsamsam Wrote:  

Fill her love bank up? Does he also write for Hallmark?

Vaun may be right just a way of selling the Hollywood bullshit to fat chicks to get them as clients or recruit for his cult, I mean church.

I mean this stuff looks like spoken word R&B.

[jariel]

Further research indicates that Luther has been with his "queen" for about six months, which is way too early in the relationship to be spitting that "I, man, submit to you, woman" bullshit.

In the honeymoon stage it's easy to have your blinders on, but in the process only see the things you find value in. They have become famous based off a training program that HE created, and now she is a partner in his business, again, it's too early for that.

He is committing several relationship no-no's too early in the relationship, obviously, I hope it ends well for him, I hope she is what he believes she is, and I hope they have what he believes they have, but I understand the nature of a woman, especially today's woman, you can worship her, but she won't respect you for it, and once she begins to no longer respect you, you will pay dearly.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

..."otherwise you are going to grow old alone and lonely"

Classic feminine scare tactic

In fact, my ex used it on me thinking it would convince me to tolerate less than what I deserve

Nope. Instead I live by another saying "What one woman won't do for you, another one will"

[CleanSlate]

(05-29-2015 11:02 AM)MY DETROIT PLAYAS Wrote:  

..."otherwise you are going to grow old alone and lonely"

Classic feminine scare tactic

In fact, my ex used it on me thinking it would convince me to tolerate less than what I deserve

Nope. Instead I live by another saying "What one woman won't do for you, another one will"

My ex-wife used a variation of this scare tactic on me when I was packing my stuff.

"Do you really rather be alone and lonely, than be married to me?"

I said, "Yes", and walked out.

[Bushido]

(05-29-2015 11:02 AM)MY DETROIT PLAYAS Wrote:  

Instead I live by another saying "What one woman won't do for you, another one will"

Very well said! We should all remember this.

[Dagnasty]

(05-29-2015 07:59 AM)Vaun Wrote:  

Listen, I have been there too, and very recently. But a question for the OP; but why on earth would you keep an "LTR" in your life if you didn't care about that person? Or have any LTR at all? What is it about relationships like this that add value to your life? Easy sex? Someone to split the rent with, or someone to have around so you aren't lonely? What possible benefit does it add to your life? And what are you lacking to create this void in your life, that you have to fill with some random women you keep hanging around you?

I definitely care about the current one and she does add value, tons more than the old one (the old one hardly added any beyond making me feel good) - but the issue is, I'm not as infatuated as I once was, and I'm not sure if that is something that's important to have in a relationship or not.

Infatuated meaning you love/want the girl so bad, you actively struggle to hold frame with her.

Should you be crazy about your girl? The more I look around, the more I see that this kind of love is reserved for younger people - and older people are more pragmatic about their relationships.

Let's straight up call it "puppy love" and maybe that will clear some things up.

If the one I have now were to leave me, it would hurt and I would be really disappointed. I do care about her - but I haven't built my world around my relationship with her.

With the old one, I literally changed my life because I wanted her so bad - and she did absolutely nothing special to deserve that amount of effort from me. It was baffling from everyone else looking from the outside in.

This didn't cause me to lose the ex by the way. I dumped her because she made our relationship unnecessarily difficult and I could find a higher quality girl.

Bam! Now I have a higher quality of girl that doesn't give me any shit. I'm not as infatuated as much. It's the definition of onetis. I'm not looking for a better girl, my heart is focused on the old one from time to time. Let's say once a week when I'm alone, I miss the ex intensely. This is 100% an inner game problem and isn't a problem with the new or old girl. The new one is not failing to provide me with anything I want - she has everything good the old one had and tons more.

I'm not looking for another girl to replace her for something she can't do in or out of bed. She's doing all of that. The issue is that I only miss "the one" - and the ex really wasn't "the one", I'm skeptical that exists at all. That's all just in my head - I 100% know that the ex is "not that girl" since she pulled a lot of bullshit that no self respecting man would have put up with.


I think the amount I loved the old one was unhealthy - obsessive.

And the "love" I feel now is the way it should be for a responsible guy. It's not nearly as intense though and I miss the old feeling. I'm not sure if that's something we should be chasing as readers of this forum - it's dangerous and leads to people making bad decisions about their own lives. That kind of love is probably not best for a responsible man to be seeking in the form of a woman (Any human being is too imperfect to put that much importance in - aside from maybe your own family).

[Onto]

It's been said, "Love is life's greatest teacher, because it's lessons are the most harsh."

Remember that the real purpose of love, and relationships in general, is to teach us about ourselves, to see who we are. A lot of that seeing will be into our own dark-side and theirs.

This seeing can bring about liberating self-knowledge. Aside from that, the experience alone cultivates our wisdom, even if we can't articulate it.

Given the above, no unsuccessful relationship is really a waste.

[jariel]

(05-29-2015 05:09 PM)Onto Wrote:  

It's been said, "Love is life's greatest teacher, because it's lessons are the most harsh."

Remember that the real purpose of love, and relationships in general, is to teach us about ourselves, to see who we are. A lot of that seeing will be into our own dark-side and theirs.

This seeing can bring about liberating self-knowledge. Aside from that, the experience alone cultivates our wisdom, even if we can't articulate it.

Given the above, no unsuccessful relationship is really a waste.

What you're saying is true, but the conclusion you arrived at only works if a person learns from the mistakes that were made in the previous relationship(s).

Everybody can't "see". In fact, most people choose to not "see".

That's why most people end up in the same type of relationships, but with different people, especially women.

The reason women don't see is simply because they don't look at themselves nor their behavior as a problem, so they will continue to be the same people and engage others in the same fashion, and when shit goes left, they'll always look at the other person as the problem and figure out how to make themselves look like the one who was wronged.

The reason men don't see is that they continue to hope for women to live up to their expectations, as if women come to us in ready-made packages -- most don't, most can't. A woman is like a pet, she has to be trained to engage in certain behavior.

If all guys are going to do with a particular girl is fuck her, then how can we expect her to know how to actually take care of a guy? Nobody's making her do that, or learn about what it takes to do that, they're just concerned with getting into her box, so you have some girls out here who really just know how to get sexual, and they're deriving their value solely from their ability to do that. They want awards for knowing how to deep throat dicks and reverse cowgirl to the finish line, but they don't know how to do laundry nor how to make a good bowl of oatmeal -- a Jewish girl once made me the worst bowl of oatmeal I've ever had in life, I could have dumped in a bowl and topped it with honey and it would have tasted better.

It doesn't help that today's mothers are failing to teach their daughters anything of value as it pertains to contributing something positive to a man's life, all their efforts are towards making sure they get theirs, and making everything about themselves.

Luther has another post where he places the blame for that on men, and yes men have some responsibility in that, but that responsibility is shared, if a woman wants to be a good woman, she can choose to work towards being a good woman, she can figure out what it's going to take to be desired by a man and be able to lock down that man -- ugly women play that game better than anybody -- if she wants to, or she can do what most women are doing, which is to be accepted as they are, and if you can't do that, no worries, they'll just find the next ignorant dude online somewhere who will put up with some shit until that person no longer cares to put up with some shit, and the cycle will continue.

[Onto]

(05-29-2015 10:34 PM)jariel Wrote:  

(05-29-2015 05:09 PM)Onto Wrote:  

It's been said, "Love is life's greatest teacher, because it's lessons are the most harsh."

Remember that the real purpose of love, and relationships in general, is to teach us about ourselves, to see who we are. A lot of that seeing will be into our own dark-side and theirs.

This seeing can bring about liberating self-knowledge. Aside from that, the experience alone cultivates our wisdom, even if we can't articulate it.

Given the above, no unsuccessful relationship is really a waste.

What you're saying is true, but the conclusion you arrived at only works if a person learns from the mistakes that were made in the previous relationship(s).

Everybody can't "see". In fact, most people choose to not "see".

That's why most people end up in the same type of relationships, but with different people, especially women.

I don't believe a person needs to have a concious insight in order to evolve. Experience will do that in itself, though much more slowly.

It may seem like a person is doing the same thing over and over again with no hopes of ever learning, but with each experience (and age) I believe they are learning something.

The closest symbol I can think of to represent this idea is a spiral wind-mobile. It goes around in a circle, but is climbing ever so slightly as it rotates. It returns to it's starting point and does it's "thing" all over again, but on a higher level than it was before.

The rate at which a person travels the spiral is up to them, and self-reflectiion certainly speeds up the process.

Some people even go back and forth as if they were on a see-saw. They'll date a certain type or be in a kind of relationship but when they don't find it to be an answer, they end it and go for someone/something that is the complete opposite. After a while, they may find that un-fullifilling too. They romanticize the past and go back again to the pervious, and back and forth it goes.

[Deluge]

@Samseau remember I'm still in my early 20's, marriage is literally the last thing on my mind not to mention I'm nowhere near established enough. I'd be happy not getting married until as late as my mid-30's, that is if I do want to get married. I never said good girls are easy to find, quite the opposite but if I want to find one I have over a decade. Besides I don't even know yet if I'm going to get back with her when I return from Europe or if she'd actually even make a good wife, this conversation is way way too premature.

[Samseau]

(05-30-2015 07:16 AM)Deluge Wrote:  

@Samseau remember I'm still in my early 20's, marriage is literally the last thing on my mind not to mention I'm nowhere near established enough. I'd be happy not getting married until as late as my mid-30's, that is if I do want to get married. I never said good girls are easy to find, quite the opposite but if I want to find one I have over a decade. Besides I don't even know yet if I'm going to get back with her when I return from Europe or if she'd actually even make a good wife, this conversation is way way too premature.

I'm not saying you need to have that conversation with her anytime soon. I'm just giving you the ammo for when you need to pull the trigger.

[jariel]

(05-30-2015 07:14 AM)Onto Wrote:  

Some people even go back and forth as if they were on a see-saw. They'll date a certain type or be in a kind of relationship but when they don't find it to be an answer, they end it and go for someone/something that is the complete opposite. After a while, they may find that un-fullifilling too. They romanticize the past and go back again to the pervious, and back and forth it goes.

Which goes back to my original point, in that if you find yourself in one bad situation in life, and then at some later date you go back to that same bad situation, then you didn't really learn anything.

We as people do age, and we as people do have experiences, but aging and the resulting experiences, don't automatically spawn evolution.

You can't say people will change over time just because they've had experiences; some people never change, some people never learn from their past mistakes, there has to be some level of consciousness for there to be change.

For example, you don't just wake up one day and start changing your diet and working out, at some point, you consciously think to yourself, "I'm tired of feeling like shit" and then you set out to change your condition through actions, if you are in fact, really tired of feeling like shit.

In terms of relationships, women keep talking about wanting good men, but they constantly find themselves with dead-end losers and players who give them 'gina tingles, but don't really want them, and they go to the same places and run in the same circles where they find those men, as if a good man, is going to suddenly just show up where they already are.

They would have to make a conscious decision to change their environments and their mindsets to get what they claim to want, if they really want it.

[Rikardo]

(05-26-2015 04:29 PM)Dagnasty Wrote:  

I suppose my question is - how important is it that you actually love a girl?


TLDR: How do I stop being a little bitch and missing my slut ex?

100% important

[trainwreck]

(05-26-2015 04:45 PM)The Beast1 Wrote:  

These types of women are addicting. Crazy pussy is the best pussy. I've found the opposite advice (not hooking up with new women) is the most effective way to get over this as opposed to the general consensus of sleeping with new women.

I completely agree with this. I had the exact same thing as you. The ex I was with was absolutely toxical, depressed and all in all just a slut trying to act like she's a good girl, until she had me. What you are missing is the rush of insecurity when arguing with a crazy chick and the crazy sex. It will make any woman for now seem absolutely boring.

I agree with Beast on this one, if you keep hooking up with low quality women to kill the feelings you have to this one chick that fucked your brain, you will only get deeper and deeper, as you probably won't find the connection you had with her when just fucking around. I was-and-still-am in the exact situation as you. I must have banged about 20 girls after my breakup with a 1,5yr LTR and then ended up banging the ex again, got back together for 2 months and now I've just been on a sabbatical.

Funny enough, I find my mind, unlike in the 6 "fuck everything thats moving" months being way more relaxed and i find myself thinking less and less about her by the day, especially because I've told myself that I won't be lowering my quality standarts just to get another notch on my belt. I've proven myself that I can bang women of many ethnicities, qualities, I'm a high value guy, who would be getting the value out of being banged in the end? Surely not me.

Also, when you keep on running into girls that have even better bodies than your ex, that actually can be really chill and cool, the image of her in your head will get smaller and smaller by the day.

Edit: I just read the bit about "obsessively" loving someone. I agree, that absolutely feels amazing, especially if the other person is reciprocating the feelings. However, she's still a woman and will in the end take advantage of it. I remember my ex telling me that "As soon as I found out that I could do anything and you'd not leave me...I did anything". They want to be loved insanely, but will lose their respect for you if you do that. I believe that when you love someone too much, you will be always in the less powerful position and in the end absolutely miserable. More than if you just have a normal girl whom you respect and love, but not obsessively and unconditionally. Just be happy that you got out of that type of love without any bodily harm to you, or her. Many people end up killing their exes or girls because of exact these type of feelings and then fucking up their lives.

[iknowexactly]

I overheard my shrink ( Yale MD Psychiatrist and teacher at a psychoanalytic institute; which is about as elite as you can get) arguing with his wife on the phone one time when I was in the waiting room for my session to start.

I went in and said "I couldn't help overhearing .. " and told him what had happened.

Among other things he said that were useful was "When you love somebody sometimes you hate them."