[Samseau]

Lots of confusion in this thread. I think most people here, even Jariel and El Mech, agree with each other but are speaking past one another.

The issue is the meaning of the world "love".

There is erotic love, there is familial love, there is holy godly love, and there is friendship love. All very different things yet the english language does not differentiate between them very well.

So when the OP said he's in "love" with that old girl, I'd chalk that up to erotic love. And erotic love is NOT enough to keep a woman with you for the long-haul. We all know women get ugly over time, and once she does if there's no familial or friendship love then the LTR or marriage is dead. However, erotic love is great to have.

Therefore, the question in the original OP should be changed from:

"How Important is it to Love Your LTR?"

to

"How Important is it to Erotically Love Your LTR? "

And my belief is - not that important. Erotic love gives crazy highs, but we all know if there's nothing else besides these highs then she's just a drug habit that needs to be kicked.

I disagree with Jariel when he said,

Quote:

Long-term relationships are not about love.

A long-term relationship is a strategic move for a woman, whereas for the man, it's an emotional move.

When men are ready to break themselves down, open up, share, and make themselves vulnerable, they are engaging women on an emotional level.

Women use your emotions to get you connected so that they can implement their strategy, which at the end of the day is to either find someone who is willing and able to makes their lives easier or someone who's willing to go through their miseries with them.

First of all, I will be charitable and grant that Jariel is talking about erotic love. We all know that the other types of love - of family, god, and loyal friendship - are ESSENTIAL to any marriage or LTR.

That said, a man moving into an LTR is not necessarily an emotional move for a man. That's not true. I'm actually quite calculating myself now that I'm at the age of shopping for virgins in churches for potential wife material, and I'm telling you right now emotions have nothing to do with my state of mind.

Men who enter LTRs or marriages for emotional reasons are beta males. Alpha males go into relationships with a clear head on his shoulders and selects for good qualities in a woman before he invests in her.

The wifely virtues:

- Chastity
- Giving
- Has integrity
- Flexible

After these qualities are found, THEN you put work into the relationship. Because unlike women, men can learn to love someone over time - but women do not. For women, relationships are all about their emotions going into it. A woman cannot love a man without having a strong erotic foundation, 9 times out of 10. Women who force themselves to shack up with a man just for money, fame, children, or something else are usually manipulative sluts and gold diggers. The worst types of women out there. A woman who does not commit to a man out of erotic love is usually the worst type of woman.

That is why men must marry young or virginal women, since they have not been spoiled with erotic love from other men and can thus bond that much better to transition into familial or friendship type love as her looks fade. Spoiled women generally can never feel erotic love - she is the "alpha widow" - and that's why marrying one is pearls before swine.

Conversely, men who marry or LTR a woman because she is young and hot (i.e. she evokes lust) but not necessarily someone he has powerful emotions for can actually become a strong erotic love interest over time, provided she is good to him.

Hence it is more important for a woman to be in erotically in love with the man than it is for the man to be erotically in love with the woman. Men are like dogs, and over time the loyalty from the same person will increase the level of emotional attachment he has to their partner - just like a dog does with his master.

The reason why the OP feels more in love with the old girl and not the new one is because of time. You spent more time with her, invested more into her, and are deeper in erotic love. That's how erotic love works for alpha men. Women have the erotic love at first sight bullshit - alpha men have the erotic love over time.

Hence, one of the greatest game bloggers, Solomon II, gave us this story about this aspect of male nature on how women can age beautifully:

Quote:

A while back I was in Las Vegas for a new product showcase. We were a few men down, so I ended up working the booth with two of my clients. One is a 28 year old player from Brooklyn, the other, a 72 year old Irishman from Philly with last name I still can’t pronounce.
Since the three of us had worked together several times before, we could talk freely during the slow hours. My phone and Brooklyn’s phone started buzzing one afternoon with girls sending dirty pics and telling us to hurry home for our “surprise”. Of course, Brooklyn and I had given different return dates to each woman to ensure that we would have a full night to enjoy the surprises without our phones blowing up.
“I’ll be back Monday, can’t wait to see you” to Michelle, “I’ll be back Tuesday, can’t wait to see you” to Jennifer, “I’ll be back Wednesday, can’t wait to see you” to a different Jennifer, a.k.a “hot Jen”, and “I’ll be back Thursday, can’t wait to see you” to Rachael was my deal.

Brooklyn had me beat by two bitches. The nerve of some guys.

When the pic on your left [ommitted] graced my screen, Old Man Philly started laughing
uncontrollably. He started going on and on about how much better it is to be a “young buck” today than it was back in his day. He was wowed by how I could turn my screen from side to side and zoom in on her tits, and just stood there shaking his head with a big grin on his face.

You kids crack me up. This is unbelievable! How do you talk these girls into letting you
take pictures of them like that?

We don’t, Philly. They take them with their own phones and send them to us.
You gotta be kidding me? Why in the hell would a lady do something like that?
They’re not ladies.

Un-freaking-believable. If I had a daughter and she did something like that for you two yard birds, I’d send her to the street corner so at least she could get paid for being a goddamn whore.

I guess they like the power of being sexually desirable.

Where the hell do these girls find power in having an old geezer like me look at their
ass? Surely they know you two idiots are going to show these around.
Let me tell you two knuckleheads something…

Thinking we were in for a 30 minute sermon on the evils of taking up with women of ill
repute, Brooklyn and I pulled up two chairs, turned our phones off, and gave our full
attention to Old Philly out of respect.

As usual, he wasn’t short on advice, but we were shocked at what he had to say.
If I were you boys, I’d fuck every last one of these little whores. If I had the unfortunate occurrence to be 31 in today’s world, I’d show those women a thing or two.
Wow. Not what we expected.

Both of my boys are married to two of the biggest bitches and liars on the planet. Jim is an aeronautical engineer with Boeing, and Tony is a corporate lawyer for Apple. I raised both of them to have balls big enough to handle anything, but these harlots give them hell constantly. Women these days are spoiled and irreverent, and they’re not worth more than a fuck. One of my boys played College football in New York, and the other in Pennsylvania. I taught them to be men, not pussies. But I swear to God these two bitch daughters-in-law of mine have my whole family worked up. They threaten divorce, flirt with other men on the computer, and send those things that are like phone emails [text messages] to other men with words that are inappropriate for a married woman. My sons find them later, but they can’t say anything or they’ll end up in a screaming fight or divorce court.

I told both of my boys that I was disappointed in them for letting women get to them like that, but after I started talking more to those two cunts [yes, the old man really said “cunt”], I realized that even I couldn’t do a thing with them. I mean, it’s crazy. You can’t punch them, but that’s exactly what they need. They need a man to knock the shit out them and then see how independent and feisty they feel. Both of those bitches are worthless, and need to be put in their place. They’re both brats.

I’m glad you two boys are smart enough to see through that mess and deal with these girls they way they deserve. Keep treating them like the rubbish they are unless you want to end up like my two boys.

Brooklyn and I were shocked. First of all, we had just heard the C word and the F bomb
dropped by a man who hadn’t said a curse word in the three years we knew him. The man won’t even tell a dirty joke at a bar if there’s a female bartender or a “lady” anywhere within earshot.

Naturally, Brooklyn and I chimed in, telling Old Man Philly about the girls we’ve been with and how while many of them certainly had their charms, there’s not a damn one of them worth the time and effort in the long run. As the trio stood there ignoring potential clients in lieu of woman-bashing and comparing naked photos of random chicks on our phones, Brooklyn made a comment about one girl’s tits. He said “yeah, but when she’s old and wrinkly, those things will be disgusting”.

That’s when Old Man Philly changed his tone.

Women can age beautifully, you know.

Uh oh. That sermon we expected earlier was about to be delivered.

Let me tell you boys something. I don’t take back anything I said about you guys running around with these little girls, since that’s evidently all that’s available these days. But there’s no reason for you to disrespect my wife.

Sorry, we didn’t mean to be disrespectful to…

Shut up. Both of you.

Yes sir.

Listen to me. A good woman ages beautifully. When I look at my wife, I see the most
gorgeous woman in the universe. Her wrinkled hands got that way by keeping up with my two boys and working hard for them while I was on the road. The lines under her eyes are from years of shedding tears for me when I was at war, and those wrinkles on her brow are from decades of worry for me and my two sons. It was her legs they held on to when they were learning to walk, her lap was where they learned to read, and her breasts were their first nourishment. The first kiss those boys ever received was from her lips, and God willing, my last kiss will be from her lips.

You two don’t know what you’re missing – or maybe you do. But all I know is that she’s as beautiful, desirable, and lovely today as the day I met her, and I wouldn’t trade one second with her for a lifetime of rowdiness with one of those harlots you guys have waiting for you back home.

You two don’t know what beauty is. In a way, I feel sorry for both of you. I’m not getting on your case, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from my own sons, it’s that women aren’t what they used to be.

The whole thing is just goddamn pathetic if you ask me.

I’m going to write down what you just said. Do you mind if I use it on my blog? A blog is kind of like a newspaper, but people read it on their computer.

I don’t care.

Old Man Philly walked away and started talking to a buyer from JC Penny. I returned to my phone to see that my former #1 girl who “loves” me had set up a date with some random guy she stalked on Facebook (she ended up fucking him on the second “date” which by her own admission was nothing more than a booty call). Brooklyn opted to call his wife, but she didn’t answer, and I could tell he was disappointed but not surprised.

He dialed a different number and asked “is she with you?” quickly hung up, mumbled “lying bitch” under his breath, then turned his attention to one of our competitor’s show models to set up a rendezvous for that night.

When the show closed, I opened my laptop and starting writing while Brooklyn stared at the cold concrete floor in a daze. My #1 girl was out doing what she does best, and evidently, so was his. We didn’t have to discuss Old Man Philly’s sermon, because our silence said it all.

Our minds were on two very sexy, but certainly not beautiful women, and we both knew it. I think we were a little embarrassed of ourselves, because we both knew better than to get emotionally wrapped up in the ”independent and adventurous” modern women we put in rotation. It wasn’t the girl’s fault, it was ours and we knew it.

I wonder if my former #1 girl or Brooklyn’s wife will ever have a strong Alpha male talk
about them the way Philly talked about his wife? I highly doubt it. But once again, a very simple principle is repeatedly ignored by women like this: They can choose to be sexually popular for a few short years in the eyes of every man, or opt for a lifetime of beauty in the eyes of the one man who loves them.

Beauty isn’t skin deep, and it doesn’t fade. Beauty is not a physical attribute; it’s an aura that is admired by men and women, young and old alike. Beauty is a timeless gift given freely and without hesitation as a birth right to all young women, but very few of them recognize, protect, or cherish it.

Philly’s sermon about his wife is proof that women can age beautifully, but unfortunately, it takes a little grace, class and effort *gasp*, so the modern woman opts for being sexy in lieu of being beautiful. The world is crawling with sexy, ugly women who should not be valued for anything more than whats between their legs – it’s the only thing you can count on out of womankind these days.

Who better to fuck the ugliest of women than the ugliest of men? Hey, at least my life has purpose.

NEXT!

So, to Dagnasty:

Give it time and you'll forget about your old flame, and let the embers grow with the new one.

[Bushido]

I have chatted to Dagnasty in private and we have established that this is a highly toxic girl we are talking about.

She is poisonous and he is making the right decision by moving on. Banging this kind of chick again would be a huge mistake.

(05-26-2015 08:07 PM)hwuzhere Wrote:  

I'm usually pretty supportive of what he has to say because he talks about stepping your game up and improving yourself but this is where Jariel is getting poisonous. Marriage is about love from start to finish at the start because you have appreciation for a female then later on to raising the children. Coming from an immigrant family it was the only thing keeping us together.

What's your background Jariel? What kind of playboy dark triad lifestyle are you on about? Have you even met any members who can vouch for what you're saying? I just find it disgusting that people could mock the structure of families while hiding behind a computer screen like they are some super alpha.

I can see where you are coming from dude, but this is just the kind of attitude that gets a guy taken to the cleaners in divorce courts. You seem like a young and idealistic guy. Read a bit more of the Rational Male and other red pill resources. It's not pretty but you need it.

Men often marry for the feeling of love. We are the true romantics. Women are most definitely not.

Marriage is not about unconditional love for women. It's a pragmatic choice and that is how it is supposed to be. Hypergamy is real even if you want to deny its existence.

Love may or may not be included in that marriage package but it's not the driving force behind getting married for women. Men should act accordingly and look for a practical good partner for life, not some manipulative bitch who convinced him he is "in love".

Ask yourself this question: If you were unemployed and broke would your wife stick around out of her undying love for you?

[Pride male]

Marriage was and will always be a business. From dowries to divorce courts.

[Guitarman]

It is far more important that your LTR loves you than you love her back.

Women are emotional beings while men are rational and logical. I only stay in a LTR with a woman if ; 1) she loves me and says so and 2) a rational cost/ benefit analysis determines that it continues to be worthwhile staying with her.

[Comte De St. Germain]

(05-28-2015 07:19 AM)dreambig Wrote:  

I have chatted to Dagnasty in private and we have established that this is a highly toxic girl we are talking about.

She is poisonous and he is making the right decision by moving on. Banging this kind of chick again would be a huge mistake.

(05-26-2015 08:07 PM)hwuzhere Wrote:  

I'm usually pretty supportive of what he has to say because he talks about stepping your game up and improving yourself but this is where Jariel is getting poisonous. Marriage is about love from start to finish at the start because you have appreciation for a female then later on to raising the children. Coming from an immigrant family it was the only thing keeping us together.

What's your background Jariel? What kind of playboy dark triad lifestyle are you on about? Have you even met any members who can vouch for what you're saying? I just find it disgusting that people could mock the structure of families while hiding behind a computer screen like they are some super alpha.

I can see where you are coming from dude, but this is just the kind of attitude that gets a guy taken to the cleaners in divorce courts. You seem like a young and idealistic guy. Read a bit more of the Rational Male and other red pill resources. It's not pretty but you need it.

Men often marry for the feeling of love. We are the true romantics. Women are most definitely not.

Marriage is not about unconditional love for women. It's a pragmatic choice and that is how it is supposed to be. Hypergamy is real even if you want to deny its existence.

Love may or may not be included in that marriage package but it's not the driving force behind getting married for women. Men should act accordingly and look for a practical good partner for life, not some manipulative bitch who convinced him he is "in love".

Ask yourself this question: If you were unemployed and broke would your wife stick around out of her undying love for you?

Read my other posts. I don't mean idealized love. The kind of "love" needed to work through a marriage out of necessity. Again I'm using a very non-Western meaning of the word in that it's familial necessity and not romantic "oh I appreciate you and think I love you" kind of bullshit. Again I'm not considering marriage for a long time.

[General Mayhem]

This thread has gotten pretty interesting. I don't post much anymore because I have this LTR that's been putting a new spin on my outlook towards game and women I'm still trying to figure it all out.

I can vouch for a lot of the things that have been said in this thread though, especially Samseau's post above.

I spent a lot of time trying to figure out why my relationship with this girl is so different than my relationship with the rest of the girls I have brought around. There was never an initial period of infatuation or emotional high that settled into something stable. Instead I started out not giving a fuck about her and have grown more fond of her over time. She has even told me that it felt like I didn't really care about the relationship for the first few months and she wasn't wrong. It took a long time for me to actually warm up to her.

I'd say what it amounts to now is a genuine appreciation for this girl. She does everything you could ask of a woman, lets me bang whenever I want, doesn't care if I take a shit while she is doing her makeup, even cleans the piss stains on the toilet, buys me gifts, etc. Is she a model? Not quite, but she is young, thin, and turns heads everywhere.

I look back on other girls and wonder why they seemed so much more exciting and it is because we had a more emotional connection. However, that emotional connection never gave me a stable relationship. Now things are a little less exciting but a lot more stable.

TL;DR: If you want a stable relationship it is not going to be nearly as exciting as the emotionally charged relationships you have had in the past.

[Guitarman]

General Mayhem you have expressed my view very well. APPRECIATION based on a rational assessment of what your LTR girl does for you is the best basis for a relationship from the male perspective. Absolutely not "love" in the obsessive, can't stop thinking about them, pedestallizing sense. You do need your LTR woman to love you though. That way the power in the relationship is in the mans court, he appreciates, she loves. The man has the higher value in the relationship = a good basis for an LTR.

I actually think it is a bad thing if you love her.

[Deluge]

I don't love her (yet?) but I'm in a relationship with someone right now, my first since since my pre-game days. She has a lot of stupid liberal ideas like college girls do but she's sweet, feminine, nurturing and made it 20 without ever having touched a dick or had a boyfriend until me, which for an attractive Australian girl is almost unheard of. Her friends and her sister also very sweet and quite chaste. Unsurprisingly she came from a strong, conservative, intact (European) immigrant family and had a very strict and sheltered single-sex education. I can't imagine the point of even entering into a relationship unless you feel some kind of genuine emotional attachment to them. If you don't feel like you can invest emotionally in them you may as well just keep seeing fuck buddies instead. I can't imagine being able to live with someone you didn't love, let alone staying monogamous to them in the long-term and raise children together. Families are the building block of society, and isn't love what makes them possible? The entire reason love supposedly exists is so that males and females pair bond enough to be willing to invest in having and raising children together. Love is vital to the health of our entire society.

The problem with love and emotional investment is that it's all too easy to fall for the wrong people. I did it when I was 16 with a girl who turned out to be mentally ill and went on to later become raging slut and it burned me quite badly. I had a made a disastrous choice which in hindsight was easy to avoid. Her parents were divorcing and her home life was bad, her mum and sister were mentally ill, she had a very high sex drive and seemed to want to plug a hole in her self-esteem through male attention. Most significantly she did not feel as strongly about me as much as I felt about her. 6 months later she went off the deep end mental health wise and everything went to shit. In the end it crushed me and I swore to myself I'd never again let any woman hurt me like I let her hurt me. It left me quite bitter for a long time.

The problem was I felt very strongly about her early on, I was already invested in before I could make a proper rational evaluation of her qualities, if I would've even been able to back then. My feelings burned bright but they were based on something that wasn't sustainable. This seems to something a number of members here seem to also have had a problem with. With my relationship now I'd known the girl for almost a year through social circle before I committed to her, I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. I had doubts about her at first but over time I over came them and now I feel like we are quite durable and I see could see this going for a while if I wanted it to. I'm breaking up with her to move to Europe for just over half a year in a month though. She seems very keen on us two getting back together when I come back. She cries and tells me how she's going to miss me. I don't know how I'll feel getting back with someone knowing they'd have slept with other people (for the first time) while I was gone, or whether I'll want a relationship again after such a big travel experience...

But either way I'm glad I got to have the experience of a healthy relationship. It's important to know firsthand that they are indeed possible even if you choose not to have one. Love and emotional attachment shouldn't be written off, if you think you've genuinely exercised good judgement in who this person is and your friends think that you have too (you need objective input) then I say it's worth trying.

[Samseau]

^ Keep that girl you have, you don't realize how hard it would be to find another chaste girl like her.

You can game behind her back and not be too morally culpable of anything (just don't get caught!) but if you get married cheating is off the table unless you simply have no fear of God.

[Deluge]

(05-28-2015 11:00 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

^ Keep that girl you have, you don't realize how hard it would be to find another chaste girl like her.

You can game behind her back and not be too morally culpable of anything (just don't get caught!) but if you get married cheating is off the table unless you simply have no fear of God.

That is the thing I was wondering, how hard a "good girl" actually is to find. At the same time I feel like I don't want to base any decision I make off of a scarcity mindset. Also I feel too young to get settled down even in the medium term. I don't know where I'll be at with my life in my 30's but I'd like to think if I could find one who could've been "wife material" before then I can do it again then when my value is higher and ideally with more of an age gap between us. I've decided I might get back together with her when I return from Europe at this stage, but who knows for how long. It also depends on how much dick she takes while we're broken up and whether my attitudes change while living overseas.

[kaotic]

(05-28-2015 08:33 AM)General Mayhem Wrote:  

I spent a lot of time trying to figure out why my relationship with this girl is so different than my relationship with the rest of the girls I have brought around. There was never an initial period of infatuation or emotional high that settled into something stable. Instead I started out not giving a fuck about her and have grown more fond of her over time. She has even told me that it felt like I didn't really care about the relationship for the first few months and she wasn't wrong. It took a long time for me to actually warm up to her.

I'd say what it amounts to now is a genuine appreciation for this girl. She does everything you could ask of a woman, lets me bang whenever I want, doesn't care if I take a shit while she is doing her makeup, even cleans the piss stains on the toilet, buys me gifts, etc. Is she a model? Not quite, but she is young, thin, and turns heads everywhere.

I look back on other girls and wonder why they seemed so much more exciting and it is because we had a more emotional connection. However, that emotional connection never gave me a stable relationship. Now things are a little less exciting but a lot more stable.

TL;DR: If you want a stable relationship it is not going to be nearly as exciting as the emotionally charged relationships you have had in the past.

I dig this ALOT - reason being this is exactly what has happened with my main girl. I like her alot more over time, at first it was just the sex, then the emotinal connections we had.

Regardless if I bang another slut or plate my interest is always peaking towards her.

Hell last night this cute 20 year old came over, we banged, literally smacked her around while fucking her and came all over her face. Then she tells me she took some Ecstasy. Totally killed my boner because I wasn't going to kick her out all retarded (as much as I wanted to).

I have plates, they're just fun fucks, the plates I'm with I'm definitely connected too, but not in the love way, more as in friends who fuck (erotic) kind of way. Of course sooner or later, they'll catch feelings even if you've made clear you don't want a relationship.

I agree with your LTR you've got to be practical, it helps if she's feminine, sweet, close with her parents/family, etc (thankfully my LTR has these).

I think you can a strong emotional connection to a woman and have it be very stable.

It's mostly you as a man to ensure this can happen - strong frame, game, SMV, and making sure you guide/lead your woman.

It's doable - marriage on the other hand is another story.

I think I might always game other girls while I have this LTR, that's just me, I don't think I'm bad for that.

Reason being, as I've echoed before, it helps diminish oneitis, your sex drive is improved, keeps you sane, etc.


Honestly, I really like this thread, it brings out a lot out into the open.

[Bushido]

(05-26-2015 08:07 PM)hwuzhere Wrote:  

Read my other posts. I don't mean idealized love. The kind of "love" needed to work through a marriage out of necessity. Again I'm using a very non-Western meaning of the word in that it's familial necessity and not romantic "oh I appreciate you and think I love you" kind of bullshit. Again I'm not considering marriage for a long time.

I beg to differ. This has nothing to do with love in any definition I know of. Shame would be the appropriate term.

This only works in the right social environment. Modern western women are not going to stick around out of some feeling of obligation to your marriage or family. The only thing that keeps women in such marriages is strong societal shaming of divorced women. As we know, that cat is long out of the bag in the West. Asian women aren't much different. They will dump your ass the minute you can't support them.

[Pride male]

There's nothing wrong with loving many women at the same time.

[jariel]

(05-28-2015 07:19 AM)dreambig Wrote:  

I have chatted to Dagnasty in private and we have established that this is a highly toxic girl we are talking about.

She is poisonous and he is making the right decision by moving on. Banging this kind of chick again would be a huge mistake.

Funny that you only get excoriated when you're right.

Some of us know what we're talking about, and some of us are just talking.

I know which team I'm on.

[Comte De St. Germain]

(05-28-2015 01:12 PM)dreambig Wrote:  

(05-26-2015 08:07 PM)hwuzhere Wrote:  

Read my other posts. I don't mean idealized love. The kind of "love" needed to work through a marriage out of necessity. Again I'm using a very non-Western meaning of the word in that it's familial necessity and not romantic "oh I appreciate you and think I love you" kind of bullshit. Again I'm not considering marriage for a long time.

I beg to differ. This has nothing to do with love in any definition I know of. Shame would be the appropriate term.

This only works in the right social environment. Modern western women are not going to stick around out of some feeling of obligation to your marriage or family. The only thing that keeps women in such marriages is strong societal shaming of divorced women. As we know, that cat is long out of the bag in the West. Asian women aren't much different. They will dump your ass the minute you can't support them.

Well maybe Stockholm Syndrome in that regard, but I never said it was possible in the West. I was just citing the merits of such a relationship if at all possible as a key necessity to marriage. Considering the volatile emotional state of a woman shame and love tend to go hand in hand in those kind of situations.

Note I never advocated marriage at all and I think it's a horrible idea in the current state of the West.

[jariel]

Quote:

My ultimate goal was never to be rich, never to play pro ball, be famous or have the perfect body... My ultimate goal ever since I was a kid was to find that 1 person who completes me.. I had my share of experiences with what I knew in my heart what was not to be, but I still tried to make it work and went along for the ride anyway and enjoyed the experience for what it was cause I mean, who loves ALWAYS being alone & it's only so much you can learn being a hermit.

I was told many times in my life that my standards were too high..I realized the solution was this.. If I want something rare, I must BECOME something rare.. All you have to do is Be.. & It will Come right to you. (BE=COME) I prayed, I fasted, I gave up my entire life for 6 months straight.. (Home..Work..Gym..Bed..) Throughout my days with prayer, affirmations, thinking, speaking positivity into my life and anything else I could think to do, I truly believe I was showing the Lord with my actions that I Don't Want my Soulmate, I Need My SoulMate!!!! I prepared myself spiritually to receive something many give up looking for.. It always did exist... But, I had to start with ME... And Now I Will Live To See It End With @kathy_drayton Us..

I know many guys say they are waiting for the Right one to be Right with.. To Me..That's just an excuse to play games with women until someone you don't deserve falls into your hands!! If your one of those people who want someone you can have a lifetime of experiences with & grow old together, You are going to have to stop telling yourselves you're not ready to settle down and think about what really matters in life, otherwise your going to grow old single and lonely.. And then the games gonna be on you.. "Playa" #IJustWannaGrowOldWithMines #MyQueen #MyForever

https://instagram.com/p/3NhNKIE_QX/

Thoughts?

[Fortis]

Who is Luther Freeman? I haven't heard of him.

Look, if a dude wants to be monogamous, I don't hate. But some guys are fooling themselves into monogamy with lame/loser women. I've never heard of this man or his struggles, so I can't judge. Is he actually a guy who has his life on lock, or is he just being manipulated by a woman with better game behind the scenes?

Perhaps you can elucidate, Jariel?

[Onto]

Let's check back in with him in 10 years.

[jariel]

(05-28-2015 05:11 PM)Fortis Wrote:  

Who is Luther Freeman? I haven't heard of him.

Look, if a dude wants to be monogamous, I don't hate. But some guys are fooling themselves into monogamy with lame/loser women. I've never heard of this man or his struggles, so I can't judge. Is he actually a guy who has his life on lock, or is he just being manipulated by a woman with better game behind the scenes?

Perhaps you can elucidate, Jariel?

He's a celebrity personal trainer, I mean who he is really doesn't matter, he could just be a regular guy for all I care.

The reason I posted that is because his story fits the title of this thread -- although the actual topic of discussion for this thread was really related to something else.

Best of luck to him and his relationship, but his missive really stuck out to me because he makes the classic dick move of shitting on "playas" now that he feels that he's found someone who has compelled him to exit the game.

Guys like that tend to be the ones who find themselves back in the game later after they get their hearts broken, and they go to playas for sympathy and consultation.

I also disagree with the whole growing up wanting to meet his soulmate shit, that sounds like weak R&B nucca game. I've never met any guy who grew up dreaming about that, as we tend to have bigger goals than just meeting one particular woman. While it should be accepted that there will be a low number of women who cross your path who are actually right for you, there's no such thing as a "soulmate" or "the one"; that's a scarcity mentality that no man can have, especially when dealing with the irrationality and unpredictability of relationships and the women we have them with, it also defies the reality that we have a whole planet of women at our disposal.

[Fortis]

One point in Luther's favor: a man's fears are inversely proportional to the size of his shoulders: men with large shoulders know fewer fears than men with small shoulders. Following this heuristic and what it entails, Luther doesn't appear to be a man likely to be cowed by bombast feminine wiles, but I will withhold judgement until I really know who the heck he is.

As far as his statement goes, I Don't necessarily agree. Dropping out of life is the fastest way to go into a poon drought, unless you're absurdly good looking or wealthy. He sounds like the sort of guy who got burned out on the game and some woman saw that she could get him (a quality dude) at a bargain basement price because he was shook by whatever the game did to him. That is just my impression of him based on his statement. Just because you want a soulmate doesn't mean you'll get one. Sure, you'll get something, but to assume that the girl you end up with is your soulmate is jumping the gun in my book.

[kaotic]

Nah I'm not feeling this dude, everything feels wrong about it.

He's attention whoring on IG saying "HEY LOOK AT THIS GIRL I LOCKED DOWN"

-Gives her an essay shout out
-Gives everyone a nice pic of her
-Gives her a username shotout.

Instantly screams he isn't in control of the relationship and is tossing pussy up on the pedestal.

You don't have to be a hermit when you're alone, you can go out and do shit.

If you aren't comfortable alone in your own skin, you've got some work to do.

There is no bullshit soul mate - it's all about compatibility - stability.

Sure become the best you can be, but not to get someone else. That should only be a byproduct of your success.

His standards were too high ? Sounds like he lowered his standards and settled then.

None of what he said makes solid sense it just sounds like a loving ramble.

I agree - let's see how long this lasts for him.

[jariel]

(05-28-2015 05:22 PM)Onto Wrote:  

Let's check back in with him in 10 years.

How many people these days make it that long?

[kaotic]

(05-28-2015 06:08 PM)jariel Wrote:  

(05-28-2015 05:22 PM)Onto Wrote:  

Let's check back in with him in 10 years.

How many people these days make it that long?

Staying together for 10 years nowadays is like staying together for 20/30 years back in the day.

[General Mayhem]

(05-28-2015 11:46 AM)kaotic Wrote:  

I dig this ALOT - reason being this is exactly what has happened with my main girl. I like her alot more over time, at first it was just the sex, then the emotinal connections we had.

Regardless if I bang another slut or plate my interest is always peaking towards her.

I think I might always game other girls while I have this LTR, that's just me, I don't think I'm bad for that.

Honestly, I really like this thread, it brings out a lot out into the open.

I suck at cheating but totally agree with this. The few times I did it my interest really peaked towards her. If I wasn't so bad at not getting caught I would be spinning more plates.

[kaotic]

(05-28-2015 06:42 PM)General Mayhem Wrote:  

(05-28-2015 11:46 AM)kaotic Wrote:  

I dig this ALOT - reason being this is exactly what has happened with my main girl. I like her alot more over time, at first it was just the sex, then the emotinal connections we had.

Regardless if I bang another slut or plate my interest is always peaking towards her.

I think I might always game other girls while I have this LTR, that's just me, I don't think I'm bad for that.

Honestly, I really like this thread, it brings out a lot out into the open.

I suck at cheating but totally agree with this. The few times I did it my interest really peaked towards her. If I wasn't so bad at not getting caught I would be spinning more plates.

I just don't consider it cheating as NomadOfEU pointed out it's a "female construct", obviously it is cheating to most people.

Change your passcode once in awhile, hide your dating apps with folders, disable text, call, app notifications, don't save numbers, if you do save them under dude names with descriptions.

Don't take your plates the same place you take your main, if you do, make sure it isn't often. I usually go to one bar with my main, and my dates/plates to another.

Always make sure your plates know you can't handle a relationship right now and you're too damn busy for them, you also don't like stereotypical titles, see them only once a week at most.

With those basics you'll do fine. I've written a mini guide somewhere on here, I think it might be on the players lounge, I'd need to do some google searches.