I'm turning 24 soon, and my biggest regret in life is that I didn't try to create a new
social circle in college.
I started in community college, so instead of going straight to university, living in res, and meeting new people, I just stuck with my old friends from high school.
The problem with my old friends is that all they did was smoke weed and play video games. I knew that I had to distance myself from that lifestyle, so
I cut them out from my life. Now,
I have no friends.
When I first discovered game, it was like discovering hope.
I thought to myself, “hey, I don’t need friends to meet girls. I can just do that stuff myself!”
So I would go out onto the streets and run solo
day game for hours on end, stacking up the approaches one after another.
I got minimal results for the effort that I put in: Think 1000 approaches over the last 5 years, 100 numbers, and 6 dates (I’m still a virgin to this day).
I had some of the best moments of my life, despite the low ROI that I was experiencing. After all, I was talking to girls, getting numbers, and pushing my comfort zones.
Eventually, I found the novelty starting to wear off. I was getting numbers, I told myself. But why in the hell am I not getting dates? Whenever I would text these girls, most of them would never respond!
I ended up driving myself crazy for the longest time. I was stepping up to girls confidently, and spitting decent game, so why in the hell were they rejecting me?
“It must be my
looks!” I convinced myself.
I was 5’9, 130 lbs. Looked like your typical skinny Asian kid. Most girls would reject me right after my opener. Direct. Indirect. It really didn’t matter
how I approached. I was always getting rejected, verbally (e.g., “thanks, but I have a boyfriend”) or nonverbally (girls walking faster to get away from me, lack of eye contact, closed-off body language).
I got extremely self-conscious about my looks: "my ears stick out (was bullied in high school about this), I’m too skinny, my nose looks crooked, I have a pimple…" etc. etc. In other words, I turned into a sissy with low self-esteem.
I tried lifting weights, but I couldn’t achieve proper form due to the muscle dysfunctions that I was experiencing (a glute imbalance stemming from a
rotated pelvis, shoulder dyskinesis resulting from
scapular winging).
I worked with various personal trainers, kinesiologists, and physiotherapists for years on end, but none of them could fix me.
Eventually, I found a really good musculoskeletal therapist who helped me with my scapular winging. I’m still working with him to this day, and my shoulders are almost fixed.
I also found a really good osteopath who discovered the true cause of my glute imbalance: a pelvis that is constantly shifted to the right. I’m doing his exercises now, and it’s been a lot of help. Hopefully it’s only a matter of time before I can start squatting again.
Anyways, I’m blabbering now. This thread is mostly about cold approach, and how solo introverted gamers are a dying breed.
How are we going to make it without developing a
high-end social circle, along with a
great online dating profile?
The answer I’m sensing, is that we’re not.
5 years ago, when I first got into game, I thought that I could do it all on my own.
"All I need to do is max out my looks and my game," I told myself.
"Then the bitches will come."
But now, it seems like that’s not enough.
You also need a
powerful online presence. You need a high-end social circle.
For introverts like me, achieving such goals sounds like an insurmountable task compared to walking up to a girl on the street, or in the bar.
I feel like I’ve wasted the last 5 years of my life trying to get good at an aspect of game that is becoming less and less effective (mainly, cold approach pickup).
So the dreadful question remains: how the hell am I going to build a social circle and an online dating profile, especially when I’m an introvert, and prefer to spend my time alone.
Cause let’s be real here.
For us introverts, we prefer to be alone.
All my hobbies are
solitary pursuits: reading, writing, lifting, meditating, learning new languages. How the hell are we going to make friends doing things that require no friends?
I’ve read through all the threads on how to
make new friends, and yes, I could join a book club, I could join a writing group, and I could join a meditation class… but you know what?
In the end, I don’t even want friends. I rather be successful on my own first. I rather reap all the rewards of my hard work, before sharing it with others.
Because at the end of the day, I’m a virgin with low muscle mass. I don’t make a lot of money. And I don’t always dress my best.
I feel like making friends should be the least of my worries right now.
Plus, do you guys seriously think that you can create a high-end social circle from just going to a few meetups?
No! The best looking people make friends in the first year of college. And that’s that.
You think a hot sorority girl with 100 people constantly texting her needs to go to a meetup group to socialize with people?
You think a former frat bro with endless party connections craves more friends in his life?
Anyways, I need to stop blabbering now.
I already mentioned above how introverts can meet new people (by attending groups that are based on your hobbies).
But how do I start taking good pictures for online dating? Do I hire a
professional photographer? Do I
backpack across Europe going to cool spots and asking people to take photos of me? Do I stay in
hostels hoping that I’ll meet girls that I can party and take pictures with?
Backpacking solo across Europe has always been a dream of mine, and now that I’ve successfully graduated from college with a useless arts degree, travelling should be what I’m doing.
Instead, im stuck here in this office, getting paid $15 an hour to write posts on rooshv.
And so the dreadful question remains: do us introverts just have to FORCE ourselves to do things that we genuinely hate? Such as socializing and taking selfies?
I think the answer in the end is quite simple:
Yes. Yes you do.