Walked in on girlfriend having sex with another dude. How I reacted.
10-02-2013, 11:11 PM
I feel you man.
I had the exact same thing happen to me about two and half years ago.
Got an unexpected half day off, so drove over to my ex's. They were fucking in the hall, I walked in, they froze.
Smirked, left the door open, walked out.
Went home and just sat staring at a wall for 2 hours.
She called like 5 times that day, and continuously throughout the week. Texted incessantly. I never bothered. Showed up at my doorstep after 3 odd weeks, all dolled up, said we needed closure. I smiled and shut the door. Shut her off every single time after that, without exception.
I wasn't gaming her, I was shattered. But there was no freaking way in hell that she was gonna get the satisfaction of breaking me, hence the complete shutout.
All the advice you've got from forum members is solid. Here's my 2 cents.
Please don't take this personally, see if there's anything that helps you, else feel free to chuck it.
Unless you have a titanic reserves of will power, you will hamsterbate.Hopefully just a little. Human brains distort, manipulate, do anything to preserve the super ego. Although this activity is significantly lower in males, it does happen. An example of this is the natural desire to beat the shit out of the guy -- like folks here have said, it really isn't his fault, but pushing the blame from your girlfriend to him protects your ego from accepting that you had made a bad choice of mate. Kudos to you for realizing that (although taking him out for a beer.....). Realize that your brain and emotions are there to fuck you and trip you over when you least expect it. If you can control yourself, keep her around as an FB, but it appears that you have a modicum of feelings for this girl and you risk falling back. More so if you have just one other girl you're fucking.
You cut off all contact, not because it will fuck her up and make her wonder about you, but because you are man enough to walk away from a bad choice. You are a man. You have worlds to conquer, enemies to slay, gold to hoard, monuments to build. This is not just game advice, but will serve you well in other facets of life too. The more willing you are to objectively learn from your mistakes and then walk away from them, the faster you will be to finding the right girl, the right opportunity, the right penny stock, the right apartment.... You need a mental reset, a gap of time when you are without her, to be objectively able to let go. While your initial reaction to the setback was exemplary, you haven't been able to let go. That is why you allowed her to come back to your place --the fact that you acted aloof and didn't care and treated her like shit is actually your ego trying to assuage itself by following perceived behavioral patterns that it perceives as alpha (thereby partially reversing the setback - short term) and giving it an opportunity to rationalise and take her back somewhere in the future (thereby reversing the setback completely - long term). Walk away from this,man. It will fuck with you in the short term, but you will thank yourself a year from now.
Do not, at any cost, dumpster dive. Standard break up advice. It will reinforce the importance of this chick in your life, your brain will glorify her golden snatch and your self esteem will plummet. Dumpster diving will make you pedestalise this girl. Consciously elevate your standards, approach only 8s and above, and push yourself to close them. I cannot stress this enough.
Have fun. Challenge yourself. Find a sport you can be competitive at. Read all the classics. Learn braille. Take salsa lessons. Jump out of an airplane (with a parachute, not bec your love cheated and you want to die). Paint. Get a side hustle. Work the fuck out. Stay busy,mentally and physically. Try to avoid booze and smoke marathons(the wrong kind of challenge.)
And while your brain is trying to figure out how to get into a hottie's pants, your body getting the hang of those weird salsa twists and your bank balance improving every week, you'll stop thinking about how to react to this bitch.
P.S. Like master thespian said, there are no real reasons,other than those that you already know deep down.
Good luck