Mate guarding behaviour is an indicator of relationship power.

Sexual relationships are male/female power struggles and if the woman holds the balance of power, watch out! She won’t respect her man and her hypergamous instincts will eventually lead her to someone else.

How can one tell who has the power in a relationship? Mate guarding is a great indicator. The one doing the guarding definitely does not have the power.

I thought about this because of something that happened with my GF at the time and me at her 10th high school reunion party last year. She went to a high school almost a thousand miles away. She’s hot and judging from her yearbook, was popular in high school.

So I’m going to a reunion where I don’t know anyone from the high school or even in the area. I have no idea if any of her exes will be there and I don’t ask because I didn’t want to appear to be an insecure bitch. She certainly didn’t volunteer any competitive intelligence before our trip.
When I get there, I’m anxious and have this overwhelming urge to stay attached to her hip the whole night. My mate guarding instincts kick in hard because, in this situation, she controls the power and I feel the pressure of unknown threats.

The night progresses, alcohol is flowing and we’re having a good time chatting up a few couples at a table near the dance floor. My GF excuses herself and says she has to go to the restroom. 5 minutes pass and I’m still sitting there by myself. No GF. Another 10 minutes pass and she still doesn’t come back.

I stand up, walk around and see a group of guys and women talking and laughing in the hallway by the entrance and she’s in the group. They’re having a great time and she’s right in the middle of it. There’s a specific guy, tall, good looking, who’s next to her and they are clearly into each other. Strong eye contact, kino. Could this be an ex or former fling? At that moment, my mate guarding instinct is in the red zone.

My first impulse is to go over and insert myself into the conversation and introduce myself as her BF. I don’t do that though. I take a deep breath, collect myself and figure out my next move. It’s a good thing I didn’t follow my first impulse, because that would have been a display of low value, conceded power to her in that situation and would have wrecked that night and probably the whole weekend.

Instead, I surveyed the room, took off my badge and walked to the other side where my GF couldn’t see me and started introducing myself and chatting up other people. One was a woman in a tight, leather mini-skirt and low cut blouse. My guess is she was one of the class sluts. She invited me to the dance floor and I accepted her offer. After we started dancing, she motioned to one of her friends to join us and before you know it we had a grind sandwich going on the dance floor, having a good time enjoying the music and the moment.

Someone must have sent an APB to my GF, because after a couple of minutes on the dance floor I see her making a beeline towards me. She gets to the dance floor, stops for a second to make eye contact, then makes her way to our group. She gives my dance partners a dirty look, they get the message and clear out. She didn't leave my side from that moment until the end of the party a couple of hours later, even for a second. If I had to go to the restroom, she walked with me. She sat on my lap, insisted on slow dancing when nobody else was on the floor. She was now in hyper mate guarding mode.

The drive back to the hotel was quiet. We didn’t say much to each other until we got on the elevator and started making out. We got back to the hotel room and had the most intense sex of our entire time together.

Lesson Learned:

Mate-guarding instincts are natural and provide insight into who has power in a male/female sexual relationship.

Strong mate guarding impulse in men is the result of relationship insecurity, primarily created by low abundance.

Reactive mate-guarding is usually a display of low value. Rather than engage in it, men should fix the root problem and shift the balance of power in a relationship their way.

If she starts guarding you, then you're in good shape.

Betas Mateguard, Alphas Disregard.

Sounds like you handled it well.

But it also sounds like she's not LTR material.

Thank you

And the truth is that in today's western world, very very few girls are LTR material, to be honest

Why did you agree to go on this trip? Seems like very few positive outcomes and plenty of negative ones. I like to avoid putting myself in situations like these.

OP handled it the standard textbook way. Whenever your girl is drifting, you dont mate guard but you do the exact same thing.

Also a good way to inject some drama into the LTR.

I wouldnt jump out and say she is not LTR material from this one instance. Only OP knows who his girl is. No girl is able to resist temptation, but a good LTR minimizes her exposure to temptation. The fact that she brought you along for the trip show that she had no intention of cheating. Not that she won't cheat, just that she wasn't plan on doing it if she hook you along.

A true player would probably go one step further and got delighted at the chance to game all these girls at the union and be non-chalant about it.

Frankly it ended well enough. But next time you know letting your girl go on this kind of "reunion nights" alone is not good.

Again, you could pretend to be delighted that she is going away, and start texting girl the moment she announces she's going.

But thats not a LTR meant to last.

Any other reads of this scenario?

WIA

Huge shit test, which you passed with flying colours.

I would suspect she was hoping to see some dude she had a crush on back in those times. He might have been the tall guy you described.

No mate, alphas do not disregard, alphas are the kings of the show.
Lets put the situation in a different angle, there where no sluts there, just couples and ugly or fat ladies. How should a guy proceed?
As stated by Rudebwoy this is a major shit test, or in my words a booby-trap. The only way to not get caught in some fire is to run the show, in fashion. Get there, kiss, hug an talk to to everyone as if they all are friends you do not see for many years, impress everyone. If still she goes mingle in a group with Chad behind your back, go there, steal the show in.confident fashion and then leave them to go talk to any other group, happy couple or girls around.
This passive "keeping frame" so in vogue nowadays is still hard to get into my mind.

Funny today I ran into this. Was out for a walk - cut off work out shirt showing some arms. His girl was busy texting and probably didn't even see me, but he weakly reached for her hand and she had no idea what he was trying to do because she was texting. Had a good laugh and actually felt good.

I had several years on the guy - but he was an out of shape slightly fat fuck - good 20lbs overweight. I don't want to come off as a total hater, or totally arrogant, but it was obvious I was the dominant one. I didn't want his girl anyway, but man it was a bit of a lift.

This is an interesting Game scenario for discussion. There are some similarities to the Hankmoody thread on keeping frame.

In this situation it would be normal to socialize, laugh and mingle. However, the OP felt like her interaction was crossing the line with the tall good looking friend.

The best course of action would be to enter the group and assert himself nonverbally through his presence. His presence should clearly indicate that she is with him not through neediness but through confident control. Presence, smiling and joining in on the conversation should be enough to deal with the situation. His girl should introduce him to the others as her boyfriend. If she does not, this would clearly signify that she isn't LTR material. If she does and clearly shows that she is your girl, you have successfully held frame through your presence and her respect for you.

"Mate guarding" is extremely common among guys around here. They seem to have a sixth sense about it or something. I could start chatting with a girl on a nearly deserted street outside a bar, and somehow within 60 seconds her boyfriend senses it, and is zipping outside to ask her "Are you ok?" and dragging her back in.

Quote: (06-03-2016 01:37 PM)Dantes Wrote:  

This is an interesting Game scenario for discussion. There are some similarities to the Hankmoody thread on keeping frame.

In this situation it would be normal to socialize, laugh and mingle. However, the OP felt like her interaction was crossing the line with the tall good looking friend.

To me, he handled the whole thing wrong from the very beginning.

A non player mindset gives basic options
- never go anywhere with your LTR
- be concerned that she's standing near a guy she'd like to fuck, and see that as disrespect
- mate guard directly or indirectly
- tap into dread or competition anxiety

Most of this is very alpha but not very player.

Him jumping on the nearest flooze worked out well this time, but it could have easily gone sideways. She is obviously comfortable enough to leave him to his own devices while she checks out the next branch to swing to.

And in a different situation, there might not have been an easy way to trigger her competition anxiety. Had this been a work function, he might not have had a dance floor and suitable pawns.

The mistake was made when he decided to set up camp at the table. He was going to be anti-social at a social event. The fact that these were all of her peers, people he had nothing in common with was an opportunity not a bad situation.

This situation where the guy is at a social disadvantage because he doesn't know anyone comes up all the time in an LTR. Work functions, family functions, ...Most most girls whole lives revolve around gatherings. That's why and how they meet the next guy they will sucker into a relationship.

Men, by contrast, are anti-social.

The player in this situation takes the bull by the horns.

Put your belongings in the assigned chairs and he needs to get her to introduce him to everyone. He needs to actually take charge of the conversations and work the room.

He has to spend that energy, he has to risk his ego.

That shows her his value, and it advertises his value to other women. And his woman is going to see them react. That is proper competition anxiety. She can get upset at the looks he was getting, but it'd be hard for her to justify cheating based on looks.

But Grinding with two chicks worked this time. If his girl had already mentally checked out of the relationship, she could have easily disappeared with the tall guy and just "chatted". Unless he was willing to bang the class whore, he'd have no moves.

As for her not being LTR material, you guys do not deal with young attractive women. If she's standing next to some tall stud, that's hypergamy at work. She's no more in control of that than she is her breathing.

That's why you have to get to her emotional underbelly via game. That's how bartenders can fuck the wives of millionaires. They affect the chick emotionally.

But better to affect her emotionally as byproduct of you running tight crowd game that gives you options versus trying to give her a "look" to make her fall back in line.

WIA

WIA makes some astute points. This is another illustration of achieving the desired outcome through the wrong means.

The OP didn't fly 1000 miles to dance with the school slut. He flew to accompany his girlfriend at an important social gathering. A decision in retrospect he would clearly rethink.

He was uncomfortable with being there, feeling anxious and clingy. The Op might be consciously avoiding mate-guarding, but he is not the one in control of this relationship.

This is a tough social situation to step into. Anyone who enters this one or a similar social situation can learn from this example.

Pondering your inherent value is an indicator to which you lack thereof.

Quote: (06-03-2016 02:14 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

But better to affect her emotionally as byproduct of you running tight crowd game that gives you options versus trying to give her a "look" to make her fall back in line.
WIA

WIA is on a roll lately, and comes again with stellar advice.

The class whore is easy, the sandwich moonwalk not too hard if you try and are free of approach anxiety. The effort is there, albeit misplaced, but taking it one step further without looking like an ass in front of her lifelong friends;

Go own the room.

Making the entire night about her, plotting your every move in the room, reacting to and talking to only people that cause a jealous 'tingle', I am sorry to say it, but thats way beta dude.

I am there either to meet cool people, do business, or to fuck my girl hard after a fun night out.

If your worried she is running off with a taller dude, just by showing up to a fairly common social function, your problems are way bigger than this. If I had a mind wringing time like this with my LTR at an event, I would probably dump this girl, go on a solo quest, and figure myself out a bit first, if doing a fairly common social activity turns into such a spiral of fear and jealousy.

You're moving out of fear. Why?

Was it lame she left you at the table? Yes. What lead up to that? LTR Bliss? Maybe not, or, she saw some friends she grew up with from childhood and got distracted after she had a few drinks. Shocking isnt it.

Just go own the room dude. Be a cool guy people want to meet and talk to. I wouldn't have gone for the sloots immediately. Get to know the people there, and either go hang with her, or let her go talk to people she knows. Be social, learn how to talk, tell stories, be open to people. Or just look at it like a networking event.

A lot of women just like to flirt. And funny enough, some have enough self control that they know it means nothing, and wouldn't act on it, or even see anything wrong with it. What you perceive as a massive transgression, could be something out of her control. Women are biological creatures just like we are. If I see a latina/jewish/dark complected women with massive real tits and small ass, I get hard. I have had this reaction to these types of girls since childhood and growing up with them. The same reaction happens to some women when they see a tall guy. Will she act on it? That seems to be your issue here, and if she is truly your LTR and you doubt her, this is the issue I would now be exploring.

To me, this was an internal battle you were waging with yourself. You were angry, and to admit, I would be too if I was left at a table. That is my struggle too, and why I recognize it here. And for the better part of my youth and young adulthood I would lash out about it. But to rise above it, come out on top as a winner, and as the master of our experiences, is our true calling here. In society and these "westernized" relationships.

You came out on top, but it left you massively distracted from just relaxing, getting to know people, and having a good time. You were too much in your head, as they say. Practice being more social, and enjoying yourself regardless, so that, in the case where she really does run off and bangs the guy in the music room, you have your self respect intact enough to walk out the door and leave the bitch cold. Or at least control yourself enough to not fuck something good up, after you misread the situation completely.

Quote: (06-03-2016 02:36 PM)Dantes Wrote:  

WIA makes some astute points. This is another illustration of achieving the desired outcome through the wrong means.

The OP didn't fly 1000 miles to dance with the school slut. He flew to accompany his girlfriend at an important social gathering. A decision in retrospect he would clearly rethink.

He was uncomfortable with being there, feeling anxious and clingy. The Op might be consciously avoiding mate-guarding, but he is not the one in control of this relationship.

This is a tough social situation to step into. Anyone who enters this one or a similar social situation can learn from this example.

Pondering your inherent value is an indicator to which you lack thereof.

It's only tough for people without good guidance.

Guys that are coming into game with an alpha perspective, a red pill outlook haven't been exposed to how players operate.

You're not going to be thinking about this shit if you're in some North African industrial city looking like green card or running day game at the local bookstore. This won't come up if you're doing the Hulu and cabernet.

This need to work a room usually only comes up in night game, and only if you're trying to use social proof to bang the mini skirts in VIP. Loud mouth at the bar and dance floor demon will get their dicks sucked at the end of the night.

But working the room will open far more doors in life than mastering okcupid openers.

WIA

Quote: (06-03-2016 03:08 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

But working the room will open far more doors in life than mastering okcupid openers.
WIA

had a girl google them once. Sent me back a link to DT's blog post

I remember seeing this phrase on Heartiste's website.
https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/03/...ate-guard/

Quote:Quote:

CH Maxim #57: Beta males mate guard, alpha males disregard.

What a great post.

Though I like it better by the original author..

https://m.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/commen...e_has_the/

Is that you, NTP?

Perhaps OP is the guy who made the Reddit post, but it's difficult to give the benefit of the doubt seeing what has gone on here recently.

Usually when a person intends to cross post on multiple sites they would do so at the same time or in short period, in this case that reddit post was 20 days ago, not too long ago but strange that he would wait that long if thats the case.

Hopefully OP can explain.

I'm gonna have to take the middle ground here on this one. I wouldn't have gone out of my way to hit on the class slut like the OP, but if the opportunity presented itself I would have done it anyways.

Thing is when you're working the room like WIA stated above those kind of opportunities come naturally. Just as a result of working the room two sluts will get curious as to what this random guy coming out of nowhere who didn't go to high school with them is doing there at this event, and not to mention how is he having such good rapport with everyone around him.

Was he that one nerd that no one paid attention to but now remembers as he's got in shape, gotten rich, and driving a Lambo? Was he Chad Thundercock from the neighboring school that we had the joint Prom with? Etc. Etc. Etc.

Curiosity killed the cat, and this giant question mark is just the bait itself. If my girl went even to the bathroom for a minute, I'd be talking to a group of 3 or 4 people right that second as a matter of necessity. I'm not going to be that one guy on his phone in the corner.

No one wants to be that guy.

Sure it would have been happening already as I would have made her introduce me to some people where I'd be telling funny anecdotes to get close with that initial crowd, but that's why that first impression is so important. Getting close with her high school male/female "friends" and impressing them would have jump started me into getting introduced to everyone else in the room via them and not just my girl.

Just my 2 cents. OP pulled an interesting thing, but my pride would not have been in it to simply attract my girl back(which is more than likely the subconscious reason).

Edit: OP did you fake that post or were you the original OP from the reddit thread? It's recent enough to where I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt.

Quote: (06-03-2016 03:27 PM)GlobalMan Wrote:  

What a great post.

Though I like it better by the original author..

https://m.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/commen...e_has_the/

Is that you, NTP?

Perhaps OP is the guy who made the Reddit post, but it's difficult to give the benefit of the doubt seeing what has gone on here recently.

Usually when a person intends to cross post on multiple sites they would do so at the same time or in short period, in this case that reddit post was 20 days ago, not too long ago but strange that he would wait that long if thats the case.

Hopefully OP can explain.

Either way, we all learned something useful for our LTRs.

Well I guess we have an answer of sorts.

Quote: (06-03-2016 09:28 AM)spacetime Wrote:  

Strong mate guarding impulse in men is the result of relationship insecurity, primarily created by low abundance.

Betas Mateguard, Alphas Disregard.

Excellent post and a lesson I had to learn the hard way. I think that it is a specific example which is generalisable to the proposition that maximum power comes from a ZFG attitude, which we might think is applicable to approaches / early stage. I would like to suggest that it is equally important when you are well into an LTR.

A lot of good nuggets in here from you older gents.

My game's gotten stale. Or maybe I'm a misanthropic introvert.

A girl would drag me out to a party with people I'm not interested in and unless someone there caught my interest to talk to them, I'd blend with the wallpaper.

Could one of you old guns please drop a "three easy steps to strategically working the room for dummies"? My old angle of "lose approach anxiety by approaching a lot, then wing it" needs work.

Quote: (06-04-2016 10:03 PM)polar Wrote:  

A lot of good nuggets in here from you older gents.

My game's gotten stale. Or maybe I'm a misanthropic introvert.

A girl would drag me out to a party with people I'm not interested in and unless someone there caught my interest to talk to them, I'd blend with the wallpaper.

Could one of you old guns please drop a "three easy steps to strategically working the room for dummies"? My old angle of "lose approach anxiety by approaching a lot, then wing it" needs work.

I'm not old but here's a short how too before someone else drops the more descriptive big guns. I'm personally not that good of a writer about what I do, and especially on this most of the people who've seen me in person just describe it as being a manic that somehow teleports to different sections of the room talking to a different person.

The easiest way to get the attention of a complete stranger in a common setting are compliments on style or asking about articles of clothing. That's just the way I started then it got a bit more fun and unique when I started playing with it. Just start rambling and making people laugh after. Crack a few jokes. Make fun of the fat chick at the bar by herself. Bring up a story from that one time you got chased by Rottweilers after a Halloween Party and when you jumped the fence walked in on two fatties going at it in their backyard.

Just some absurdist humor to lighten the mood is always helpful. Always be the loudest person in the room when speaking and make sure that you're hitting up people from different sides of the room. The reason being that it A. gets people to notice you B. motivates people to come up to you if you know several other people in the room C. gives off the appearance of popularity and higher status.

Then just keep the ball rolling. Crack jokes. Attract a crowd with your loud voice. Just don't give a fuck and have a good time. I talk loudly in a lot of public spaces and speak to strangers in a more personal tone more these days because it naturally gets people talking to you as you seem more approachable.

Or atleast that's how I read it. There's different types of personalities and you might have to play with it. Just hope you don't have a fear of public speaking. Have had a few times with 10 or more people as a captive audience. I've never been more scared in my life especially since I'm not the kind of big(physically) guy that would look like a natural doing that.

Quote: (06-04-2016 10:03 PM)polar Wrote:  

A lot of good nuggets in here from you older gents.

My game's gotten stale. Or maybe I'm a misanthropic introvert.

A girl would drag me out to a party with people I'm not interested in and unless someone there caught my interest to talk to them, I'd blend with the wallpaper.

Could one of you old guns please drop a "three easy steps to strategically working the room for dummies"? My old angle of "lose approach anxiety by approaching a lot, then wing it" needs work.

Comte De St. Germain nailed it.

Lemme add my piece for a house party scenario.

Let's say your main chick drags you out to a house party. She of course knows everyone there, and of course she ends up in some conversation with some old friends.

So you're just kinda in the background. She introduced you, but they're talking about shit that you are completely oblivious to.

Just say fuck it.

Make it a point to talk to everyone in that party. Just say hello, and get one detail out of em.

Person #1

"I'm really surprised about this party.
"Archie, but I always forget names. Won't be made when you don't remember mine, don't be mad when I forget yours.."
*switch gears, get personal*
"What's your thing? You a sports guy, a celebrity gossip chick...oh you like macrame. That's starting to get real popular...how'd you get into that.."
"How long you gonna be here? Word. Lemme holla at you in a few, we can connect on some needle point"

*Moving on*

Person #2

"Oh you're from Butte, Montana.."
"Nice, you went to school in Fiji"

"You know anything about Macrame? I just met this macrame expert, it's so crazy. You've got to meet em."

Introduce person #2 to #1.

Over and over again.

Mf'ers will think that you're the most social person they've ever met.

But more importantly, they will feel awesome because they got to talk about their shit. To a few people.

The truth about crowds, something you learn when you do a lot of night game....there might be 100 people at the bar, but it's usually 20-30 groups of people and some stragglers.

And all they do is talk to each other, talk to the people they already know.

The point of a bar, club, party, is actually to meet other people - but in American culture, and probably the West in general - the shit does not happen. People have to be so sloshed just to have simple conversations.

It's unreal how much of a cocoon that people live in.

You go to a ball game, thousands upon thousands of people, all experiencing the same thing - it's pretty common for sports fans to only interact with the group they came with.

This isn't even Game ™. The game aspect comes when you get all this social proof from being fearless, from putting people together. Don't even think about that at the next shindig you go to.

Just meet, greet, understand, and connect.

When I'm in a new environment, I look for the un-cool people Those are the ones I identify with.

I've always been an outsider, so I talk to my peoples first. (funny to hear me say it now)

The fat girl. The bunch of dorks holding the wall. The people that look lonely.

I know what that's like. Intimately.

You know how much I wished somebody would have chatted me up prior to game. Just to be acknowledged....

Lotta guys on this board really don't want to slay 10's. They're looking for recognition as human beings. Something that they aren't really getting in their regular lives.

And that isolation is present even when you're in a crowd.

So connecting these folks...being the bridge for them...will do so much for you, and so much for them.

Actual facts, if you try to talk to everyone at a party, chances are high that you won't get to hit them all up. You'll get sucked into something pleasurable before you really can complete the mission.

WIA