Quote: (10-07-2011 03:18 PM)Moma Wrote:
Is there really such a disparity between black American lizards and black American dudes with West Indian parentage?
There is a disparity between black american females(on average) and
ME.
I know other black immigrant males who get along with them swimmingly. I'm not them.
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This boggles my mind. You grew up in the United States and you went to school with black Americans so why are you unable to relate to them?
1. There were very few black girls at any school I attended up until University, and even here they're just 8-9% of the female population.
2. My upbringing was not entirely typical. Without going into details, the reality is that I had very little contact with popular black american culture and(to some extent), wider American popular culture. I grew up in my own bubble where my family was the main influence, and my family's culture has next to nothing in common with any other socio-ethnic categorization you can come up with in the USA. We are entirely atypical.
This makes me very difficult to categorize, and it ensures that I do not blend in well with the vast majority of other blacks here on a social level. I am, in many ways, alien to them and they are alien to me. Even basic things like handshakes and music cause confusion between us.
This does not imply hostility. I find many aspects of black american culture appealing. I am impressed by the extent of their cultural contribution to this society(which, especially in the realm of music and athletics, is downright astronomical) and I sympathize with the struggle they've had in dealing with this country's troubling racial past.
Furthermore, I've gotten on well with some individuals at my school, but the ability to take these merely "friendly" relationships and go to a deeper level(a more brotherly, connected one) has proven elusive at best, regardless of the amount of effort I've put in.
I've tried to do something about that in the past. As a teen, this realization really, REALLY bothered me and caused some personal issues, and even recently I've maintained some faint hope for change, but it is impossible. Things are the way they are.
All this, of course, means that long term, black American females are largely incompatible with me.
Fortunately, it is largely just me. Not every other west indian black has this issue. In fact, I'd say that most are much better integrated than I ever was. The ones I've known who have shown themselves similar to me have almost all been my relations, with very few exceptions.
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I mean, not all black Americans are the same.
Exceptions to the rule may exist, but my experience has shown that the lack of relativity I talked about above with regards to me and other blacks in this country generally transcends class.
I'm in the Ivy League, remember. It isn't like I haven't had a chance to test this theory on blacks beyond the lower-middle class. I am not unused to seeing wealthy, intelligent, elite, college-educated black Americans.
My conclusion is only as broad and general as my experience has been.
Bottomline here, though, is that when I was speaking about my experience with black girls towards the end of that post you quoted, I was talking specifically about me and my persona(which not every other dude has). So no, it doesn't apply to everyone else.
My general point is just that cultural barriers to attraction are just as important (perhaps more so) as any physiological ones, and can have the same effect(inability to get anywhere romantically with a given individual). Cultural factors can easily kill potential even when physical attraction is there, and I find that they're more common culprits than the kinds of physiological repulsion/incompatibility URM advocated for.