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The New Tomb Raider is Flat
#1

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

The new Tomb Raider is flat chested. First they fucked up the Ninja Turtles, now Tomb Raider doesn't have titties? Way to fuck up my adolescence, Hollywood.






She's a 34A. Which goes against every reason every guy every played Tomb Raider. Lara Croft was known for humongous knockers, wtf else was the point of the fucking game!?

How the fuck did we go from this?

[Image: tomb_raider_AOD_box.jpg]

And this?
[Image: Sin%2Bt%25C3%25ADtulo3.jpg]

To this?!
[Image: 424695483afc79cbf04909fc16b09d7f_fitted_740x700.jpg]

If you are going to impose your will on the world, you must have control over what you believe.

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#2

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

Dude, that last picture is pretty gross. I never really played the games when I was younger and I was only mildly intrigued by the movies with Angelina Jolie when I saw them. I'm not expecting much from this movie either.
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#3

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

Feminists gonna femininst? Who was in charge of casting? Hollywood is so out of original ideas. What do they do? Take a classic series, pick a female lead that has a smaller chest than your average Filipina girl and then cast her as the iconic Laura Croft? It will probably do okay at the box office due to "gurl power", just like those women that go out to see the God-awful J-Law films. Blech, I'll pass.

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#4

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

Quote: (09-20-2017 09:39 PM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  

Feminists gonna femininst? Who was in charge of casting?

Obviously someone that likes little boys.
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#5

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

Quote: (09-20-2017 09:43 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  

Quote: (09-20-2017 09:39 PM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  

Feminists gonna femininst? Who was in charge of casting?

Obviously someone that likes little boys.

No kidding. Modern-day Hollywerid is full of feminists, phags and Soy Bois. There are very few masculine men left in the industry.

John Michael Kane's Datasheets: Master The Credit Game: Save & Make Money By Being Credit Savvy
Boycott these companies that hate men: King's Wiki Boycott List

Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value. -Albert Einstein
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#6

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

Quote: (09-20-2017 09:39 PM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  

Feminists gonna femininst? Who was in charge of casting? Hollywood is so out of original ideas. What do they do? Take a classic series, pick a female lead that has a smaller chest than your average Filipina girl and then cast her as the iconic Laura Croft? It will probably do okay at the box office due to "gurl power", just like those women that go out to see the God-awful J-Law films. Blech, I'll pass.

Getting a sex change and opting to deceive others through full-fledged transsexuality is so empowering.

Fake titties on the other hand are demeaning characteristics aimed at pleasing the patriarchy.
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#7

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

Lara Craft without boobs?

[Image: 200_s.gif]
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#8

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

2017's The Mummy is a dud.
2017's King Arthur is a dud.
2017's Ghost In The Shell is a dud.
2017's Underworld is a dud.
2017's Wonder Woman is a dud.
2017's Alien (Covenant) is a dud.
2017's Transformers is a dud.

Etc. Etc.

With very limited exception (Logan). You're better off being of the opinion that every Hollywood film released these days will be a dud.
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#9

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

Hundreds of millions of dollars budget on a fucking video game movie and they couldn't spend $30 on a padded bra?

Remissas, discite, vivet.
God save us from people who mean well. -storm
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#10

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

Boobs were the point of Tomb Raider. Lame.

Vice-Captain - #TeamWaitAndSee
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#11

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

WAT
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#12

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

Actually this chick, Alicia Vikander, looks like a combination of Leighton Meester and Natalie Portman. She was dangerously attractive, seductive even, in the movie Ex Machina. It's a shame her body is so boyish.
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#13

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

Quote: (09-20-2017 10:07 PM)Paracelsus Wrote:  

Hundreds of millions of dollars budget on a fucking video game movie and they couldn't spend $30 on a padded bra?

Sadly, that IS a padded bra.
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#14

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

Quote: (09-20-2017 10:26 PM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  

Quote: (09-20-2017 10:07 PM)Paracelsus Wrote:  

Hundreds of millions of dollars budget on a fucking video game movie and they couldn't spend $30 on a padded bra?

Sadly, that IS a padded bra.

[Image: Nooooooo_21b252_2993492.jpg]

Remissas, discite, vivet.
God save us from people who mean well. -storm
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#15

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

Quote: (09-20-2017 09:19 PM)Alpharius Wrote:  

To this?!
[Image: 424695483afc79cbf04909fc16b09d7f_fitted_740x700.jpg]

[Image: 31945.png]
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#16

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

Quote: (09-20-2017 09:43 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  

Quote: (09-20-2017 09:39 PM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  

Feminists gonna femininst? Who was in charge of casting?

Obviously someone that likes little boys.

AKA 90% of Hollywood.
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#17

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

She's nothing a few cheeseburgers can't fix. At least we didn't get Fridge Raider.

[Image: seida_viral_photo-620x412.jpg]
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#18

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

I was never an Angelina Jolie fan but at least she looked the part of Lara Croft.

[Image: attachment.jpg37573]   

[Image: attachment.jpg37576]   

[Image: attachment.jpg37577]   
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#19

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

She has a good face and a schnoz that looks good on her but in that picture she looks like a 12 year old boy.

Looked hot in Man from U.N.C.L.E though, good makeup and clothes.

I'm surprised Gal Gadot didn't get this gig.
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#20

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

Dud casting aside, I fail to see how this movie isn't anything other than a hyperactive CGI fest of no value.

Perhaps they're banking on the Chinese market?
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#21

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

From the trailer it appears to be some mix of 2013 game with its sequel. Notice that Trinity is mentioned and we have some cultists but they don't worship Himiko.
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#22

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

Quote: (09-20-2017 10:25 PM)Swooper Wrote:  

Actually this chick, Alicia Vikander, looks like a combination of Leighton Meester and Natalie Portman. She was dangerously attractive, seductive even, in the movie Ex Machina. It's a shame her body is so boyish.

[Image: 55MWqhs.png]
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#23

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

Wow, I prefer smaller tits, but this is too much even for me [Image: sad.gif]

"Imagine" by HCE | Hitler reacts to Battle of Montreal | An alternative use for squid that has never crossed your mind before
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#24

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

Stop it, you assholes. Man up and a grow big enough balls to appreciate that beauty comes in all sizes.

I'm the King of Beijing!
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#25

The New Tomb Raider is Flat

Quote: (09-20-2017 11:33 PM)Long Haired Samson Wrote:  

I was never an Angelina Jolie fan but at least she looked the part of Lara Croft.

Alas, no longer.

http://www.fashionstylemag.com/2017/cele...the-years/
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