[n0000]

That girl has the curves of a cardboard box. Hollywood is just itching for yet another flop aren't they.

[AnonymousBosch]

^ Looks like the last game I bought was 2014's 'The Talos Principle'.

It was basically about the sense of quiet isolation paired with puzzle solving in decaying historical environments* that the original Tomb Raider games did so well, with all the complex character movement puzzles removed, which, admittedly, is probably as good as you can expect to get from gaming in terms of 'Appeal to Introvert Recharge Downtime' 2017.



The reviewers fell all over themselves describing its 'depth' and 'intelligence', not seeing that it, functionally, it was already a less complex version of a game from eighteen years before, but as we know, modern reviewers prefer an almost passive-observation of entertainment, (preferably showing detectable allegiance to Reform Judaism beliefs to make them feel smug, smart and special), rather than complex interaction for entertainment.

Whilst, it's not as deep and intelligent as the reviewers make out, and you'll see a favourite Silicon Valley obsession coming a mile off, it's about that quiet journey. Probably the best you can hope for nowadays.

Heh, I'd love to read Aurini's take on it.

------------

* As I said, I was reading Toby Gard's explanation for Tomb Raider earlier:

Quote:

Toby: kind of the concept of Tomb Raider 1 was just this idea that when I go to these sort of places, a coliseum, or Stonehenge, or any of these sort of ancient ruins, I personally have a terribly strange urge to climb all over them and see where I can get to. And I thought hey, if I want to do that, then maybe other people do, so getting the coliseum in there seemed like a cool idea because it's sort of exploring around on the inside and we tried to create the rooms obviously that have been recreated here again, which are things like the gladiator areas, and the places, the animal pits, and just tried to let people sort of string together the story of how the area would have actually worked, you know, centuries before in their own heads.

Botta: That's right, this game, like most games, is fantasy fulfillment, right, so it's all about exploring the ruins that you couldn't really explore if you went to Rome and went to the coliseum.

Toby: Yeah, there's too many people telling you "Hey, get off that ancient bit of rock there you crazy monkey man!"

Note, in the Talos Principle, you can't climb all over the environment, which feels arbitrary and forced.

I think all good creation is based upon recognising relatable human instincts, which is why I think gaming probably is devolving. To see how society is devolving: even a nerd in '95 could recognise physical exploration of an ancient place was an idea that might have mass appeal. Fast forward to Now: developers think wandering around a space and occasionally-opening drawers to read postcards describing an overdramatic, uninteresting Teen Lesbian Romance, (the faux-drama of which reeks of Class Privilege), should have mass appeal, and will then label you psychologically-suspect if you tell them, no, that's of little interest to all but a niche.

[Dan Woolf]

There's a fan game in development that has a more curvy Lara than in those nu-Raider games:

Surprisingly the gaming media has had nothing but praise for the project. I expected to see them all screaming about misogyny, rape and oversexualization but nope.

[Leonard D Neubache]

Holy shit. Do you guys get those moments when you look back at a past event in your life and in your post-red-pill era see it in a completely new light?

This thread...

I used to have a girlfriend who's place I'd crash at during a time when I was technically without address.

Anyhow, she used to have this thing about playing Tomb Raider only she really sucked at it. As in, "kept getting killed by Tigers in the first level" kind of suck. So she would eventually get frustrated and ask me to play the game for her. I didn't think much of it at the time, but she did this creepy sort of thing where she wouldn't watch the screen, she would watch me play the game and even back in those blue-pill days I could tell she was well into level 3 flusterfication (no chance to escalate until her mum had gone to bed).

Looking back, I'm thinking "did this bitch have some kind of bizarre female cuckold fetish?"

Most women I've known since would be a little bit miffed at a man spending his time manipulating a digital whore in their presence.

[Cobra]

If you don't like this movie you have no balls and are likely gay.

[Canopus]

This thread delivers.

Shit, if I was a producer setting out to to make a Tomb Raider movie, I'd consider just picking one of these hotter Cosplay Girls at random, paying for the acting lessons, and saving myself a few million bucks. I know there's one chick from Hungary who does nothing but dress up as Lara Croft at conventions just to show off her uhhh costume skills.



I don't think she's been Dubai'd...yet.

[Leonard D Neubache]

^WDOTCS

Would drag out tunnel crawling section.

[Transsimian]

(09-22-2017 11:06 PM)Cobra Wrote:  

If you don't like this movie you have no balls and are likely gay.

If you don't like Sleeping dogs then you have no pork bun and are likely not a real man.

[SpiderKing]

(09-21-2017 11:59 AM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  

[nomadbrah]

(09-22-2017 08:01 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

Holy shit. Do you guys get those moments when you look back at a past event in your life and in your post-red-pill era see it in a completely new light?

This thread...

I used to have a girlfriend who's place I'd crash at during a time when I was technically without address.

Anyhow, she used to have this thing about playing Tomb Raider only she really sucked at it. As in, "kept getting killed by Tigers in the first level" kind of suck. So she would eventually get frustrated and ask me to play the game for her. I didn't think much of it at the time, but she did this creepy sort of thing where she wouldn't watch the screen, she would watch me play the game and even back in those blue-pill days I could tell she was well into level 3 flusterfication (no chance to escalate until her mum had gone to bed).

Looking back, I'm thinking "did this bitch have some kind of bizarre female cuckold fetish?"

Most women I've known since would be a little bit miffed at a man spending his time manipulating a digital whore in their presence.

Ahahaha.

That's great. You brought back some memories here of girls faking to be interested in video games to get your attention.

Those were the days.

[nomadbrah]

What are the best Tomb Raider games?

[Long Haired Samson]

(09-21-2017 03:27 AM)questor70 Wrote:  

(09-20-2017 11:33 PM)Long Haired Samson Wrote:  

I was never an Angelina Jolie fan but at least she looked the part of Lara Croft.

Alas, no longer.

http://www.fashionstylemag.com/2017/cele...the-years/

Yeah, age, illness, and probably too many drugs have taken their toll on Jolie. Didn't she have breast cancer and had her breasts removed?

[questor70]

(09-23-2017 04:12 PM)Long Haired Samson Wrote:  

Didn't she have breast cancer and had her breasts removed?

That's just it. She didn't have breast cancer. She took them out because she was merely worried she'd get them. Just another one of her long line of neurotic life-decisions. She's probably already damaged her health more with anorexia than any genetic disposition to breast cancer. She was gonna hit the wall sooner or later but every move she made (since Tomb Raider 2 really) seemed to conspire to hasten the end of her sex symbol status where (by this point) she's really only suited for Maleficent type roles.

[RexImperator]

She looks like a boy but actually it could have been worse... What if the thread title was "The New Tomb Raider is FAT"?

[stugatz]

Those pointy 1996-graphic titties were the ONLY reason I played the first game - and it was pretty dope, too!

Simply put, those boobs were a major reason I got into gaming. Take them away and you'll have less gamers. Which is probably the point?

(09-23-2017 03:45 PM)nomadbrah Wrote:  

What are the best Tomb Raider games?

I've only completed 1 and 2, about half of 3 and about a quarter of 4. Looks like there are over a dozen now, damn, and they've tried to reboot the series twice...no wonder there's a civil war going on in gaming.

Tomb Raider - 8/10 (Good story, just hard enough, plenty scary - not quite a classic but very good and fun.)

Tomb Raider 2 - 7/10 (Far bigger and far more ambitious than the first, with mostly good results, but this still has sequel-itis. Almost too challenging to enjoy at times, since you fight far more human characters that are far harder to kill - not to mention the extensive underwater levels. Very worth a play if you liked the first.)

Tomb Raider 3 - 6/10 (It couldn't go bigger as far as scope, so it tried to just ramp up the difficulty and graphics clarity up to 11. This one I didn't enjoy too much and never finished it, as it was a bitch to run on our computer at the time - but I remember thinking it was playable enough when I did fire it up.)

Tomb Raider 4 - 7/10 (Much more playable than 3, but I remember it tried far too hard to act like an interactive movie. Overall good, but at this point it was 1999 and I was more interested in chasing girls at the time - so my sister finished it and Lara became her idol.)

Question to any gamers on here who gamed consistently through the oughts and 2010s - how does the Uncharted series compare? I've heard that Drake actually has a personality compared to Croft, and the series is far better.

[Canopus]

(09-23-2017 05:45 PM)stugatz Wrote:  

Question to any gamers on here who gamed consistently through the oughts and 2010s - how does the Uncharted series compare? I've heard that Drake actually has a personality compared to Croft, and the series is far better.

The first is solid, but I'm going to take a moment to plug Uncharted 2. That is a fucking awesome game. Very fun to play, smartly written, and still holds up to look at and move around in. Pre-Roosh me and post-Roosh me would both agree it might just be one of the best damn games ever made, and it hits the Indiana Jones vibe perfectly. The series was never better.

3 is all right, but it's a sour note for me because the series completely takes a left turn afterward. The feel of the games just goes up in smoke. I never went back after 4, and just Youtubing a bit of the latest one makes me think that's going to be just more of what we got in 4 and nothing of what we got in 2.

Out of curiosity, I read up last year about what happened backstage to mark such a dramatic shift. Small wonder it starts going bad after 3 - that's around the time they dismissed both the game director, Justin Richmond, and the head writer, Amy Hennig, who wrote the motherfucking Legacy of Kain...



And then they turned Uncharted 4 over to the guys behind this.



With all that entails.

[nomadbrah]

I'm with AB on the gaming part. I played the original on Playstation and it was genius for its time and not just the tits. It was that exact feeling of having a puzzle and then looking around and seeing the actual environment being part of the solution. That was revolutionary at the time. A thinking game, that began innocently, venturing deeper into the earth, finding more and more layers to the story and puzzles. I tried the Unchartered games but they're interactive movies, not comparable.

[AnonymousBosch]

Here's a great example of the sort of puzzle I rarely encounter in gaming anymore, because the solution isn't based on pulling levers, physics, or moving blocks. It's assumes that by this far into the game, the player will recognise how Lara moves in a clockwork, almost mathematical manner.



I think the designer overestimated the audience there. It sounds like most players get stuck, so do what I did the first time I played it: burn through their medipacks until they can pick up the needed Lead Bar and jump into the water to put the fire out.

The second time, I sat down and figured it out. All you have to do is start in the right place, and never let go of the Jump and Forward keys. She'll do her runs and leaps in a predictable order and make it just in time.

Did anyone ever figure out a way past the Lightning Ball in the 'Thor' room in 'Saint Francis' Folly'? I could never identify any solution to that other than taking a severe health hit each way.

[monster]

I don't care whatever y'all say, this Alicia Vikander is a serious cutie

[The Catalyst]

(09-23-2017 10:01 PM)monster Wrote:  

I don't care whatever y'all say, this Alicia Vikander is a serious cutie

Yeah I don't get all the hate. As a firm member of Team Skinny Pretty Alicia really gets me going.

[stugatz]

Thanks to TV Tropes, I got re-introduced to this death animation that gave me nightmares when I was ten. Don't get too close to the giant Atlantean or he pretty horrifically kills Lara.

[Sidney Crosby]

She has a sexy voice.

I googled it and I can't find any bikini shots that aren't edited photoshoots, so her body is inconclusive at this point.

[Tim in real life]

As a 90s child, this just sad that even Hollywood has gone full Uwe Boll on videogame adaptations.

This Assetati shit is just ridiculous, to the point I buy the idea the constant misuse of the Eye of Horus by predominantly ENGLISH-descended Americans just proves me correct that Howard Carter received King Tutankhamen's Curse by disturbing the latter's grave, THEN engaging in necrophilia with it.

[Alpharius]

Not saying the chick isn't cute, but I prefer my Tomb Raider with big tits.

They don't have to be huge...


but at least give me something to look at.

[balybary]

Let's hope the movie with the flat tomb raider will crash.

So we can make natural big ol titties great again!