[General Stalin]

(09-21-2017 12:20 PM)balybary Wrote:  

Shocking hip to waist ratio.

Nice face and legs, though.

I 100% honestly have zero desire to have sex with that female in that picture. Her body looks like that of a male highschool track runner.

[kbell]

She had a better body in deus machina. Wish they digitally edited it. Second time in a row she has played a character with a larger rack than in real life. Wonder why she is attracted to these roles?

[Long Haired Samson]

Here's a slender Lara Croft but with a little bit of actual hips.

   

   

[Mr. D]

(09-21-2017 12:20 PM)balybary Wrote:  

Shocking hip to waist ratio.

Nice face and legs, though.

[Vill@in]

Big tits or not, this was always an imposter Tomb Raider. Here's the OG:

[DarkTriad]

(09-21-2017 11:46 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

This film is basically a middle finger to the entire legacy of the franchise and all it's fans.

They took a game where the primary appeal was that the heroine of the series was a beautiful buxom broad boasting bodacious breasts and they cast an incredibly unremarkable looking woman to play her with an impossibly flat chest. I have larger boobs than this girl.

Fuck that shit. More sexy tomb raider cosplays please

Good post...except I think #3 is a guy. You are now officially "questionable"

[MikeS]

(09-20-2017 09:19 PM)Alpharius Wrote:  

...

What the hell happened there?! Was she made digitally curvy in Ex Machina or has she just been on the world's second worst diet and exercise program since then?

The virtual Lara has had a breast (and age) reduction in the two latest games from 2013 and 2015, but she's still a hell of a lot sexier.

   
   
   
   

[balybary]

Video games done right:

In Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, the female character Quiet wore a minimal amount of clothing at all times because she could only drink or breathe through her skin; wearing too much clothing would lead to suffocation.

[balybary]

[sterling_archer]

2013 game (reboot series) voice actress, Camilla Luddington.

[Dan Woolf]

^^

Would Compliment & Cuddle

[godfather dust]

That game sucked, it was jumping puzzles and tits. At 12 the tits were worth it though.
Agree with everyone else, the breasts are the main character trait. What else is there, she jumps good and is ok with guns?

[AnonymousBosch]

(09-21-2017 09:46 PM)godfather dust Wrote:  

Agree with everyone else, the breasts are the main character trait. What else is there, she jumps good and is ok with guns?

In the first couple of games, she was the Standard Issue Bitchy Ice Queen Fantasy that sexually-inexperienced wimps tend to fantasize about walking on them in high heels.

I dug out the first game about a year back to kill some downtime when I was travelling, and I was struck by how she's not only just-unlikable, but comes across as a Sociopath.

You're right. There's no character there, just the deliberate absence of the obvious Indiana Jones license they couldn't afford.

I was too old to see triangular tits as remotely-sexual, but I remember working in an office with two losers who were obsessed with the first game enough that I'd keep catching them playing it during working hours, and they'd keep high-fiving over her grunting sounds.

One was 26, and ended up dating, then marrying, a 39-year-old women with three children.

The other was obese, absolutely a virgin, and had an internet romance with some Dutch girl he met online. Eventually they decided to meet in Vienna, because he was obsessed with the 90's movie 'Before Sunrise', and obviously had that pre-determined script of expectations for their romance in his head.

I looked up Lara's creator. The Manlet on the Far Right.



If you've ever known these sort of guys, Lara makes complete sense.

[Horus]

I don't think it's possible for a fully mature genetic female to have those hips. Where's that YouTube channel where the guy is obsessed that all celebrities are trannys? He'd have a few words to say about her.

[kosko]

(09-21-2017 01:37 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  

(09-21-2017 11:46 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

This film is basically a middle finger to the entire legacy of the franchise and all it's fans.

They took a game where the primary appeal was that the heroine of the series was a beautiful buxom broad boasting bodacious breasts and they cast an incredibly unremarkable looking woman to play her with an impossibly flat chest. I have larger boobs than this girl.

Fuck that shit. More sexy tomb raider cosplays please

----SNIP-----

Good post...except I think #3 is a guy. You are now officially "questionable"

She is a Canadian fetish model.

She is just old with too much plastic surgery done. She is a woman, just stringy and old which is why she may appear mannish.

She was on the internet as far back as dial-up days. I remember her pictures from like 2000.

She has to be 45 these days I would imagine, her name escapes me but it may be Bianca Beauchamp.

[MKDAWUSS]

(09-21-2017 11:46 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

This film is basically a middle finger to the entire legacy of the franchise and all it's fans.

That seems to be the main trend in media these days. Take everything that's built by/on/around a franchise, tear it down, and trash it, and remake it in a "modern" image.

It's like, why get invested in a series if they're just going to trash it and start over later?

[Foolsgo1d]

Bitch has big enough jugs to steal Robocops guns.

[The Stronger Sex]

I don't give a fuck about Tomb Raider, but that thing in the bikini doesn't deserve to be called a real woman. I have more chest than "her". It's gross. Actually I don't know why she bothers wearing a bikini. She should be wearing swimming shorts.

[Captainstabbin]

After Captain America, there was a push to have Hayley Atwell play Lara but she gained an unfortunate amount of weight. Nothing the right trainer and some lipo couldn't fix.


Pre weight



Apparently, they were dead set on a boyish figure for Lara - the only other actress in serious consideration was Daisy Ridley.

[Long Haired Samson]

Hayley Atwell certainly has the look to play Lara Croft.

[sterling_archer]

^Black Mirror season 2 episode 1 for those who want to know.

[AnonymousBosch]

I was looking into her origins just now.

Quote:

Looking back at Lara Croft's first incarnation now, it's easy to sneer at her hyper-sexualised design. The tiny waist and huge breasts appealed to the teenage male gamer demographic of the time, but Tomb Raider found a female audience, too - unprecedented for video games at the time - because of Lara's other characteristics. She was strong and intelligent. Yes, she had massive tits, but she didn't need a man.

"Toby developed the model to look like his drawings," Boyd says. "I knew we'd get flak from people. But he wasn't bothered about that. He was happy with the way she was. I don't know whether he had a thing for big breasts? He was a very secretive guy. He'd never answer a question straight."

"Toby wanted her to be this kind of ice queen," Rummery says, "a totally resourceful British woman. They were things we didn't get much of in computer games.

"I thought it was just a great model. Straight away you could see Toby was excellent at what he did. Our character artists all marvel at the way he managed to build that model to be so iconic but yet made of so few polygons. It already had character.

"Toby was obviously trying to make her sexy, because that was meant to be part of her character. He always claims he slipped on the mouse and made the breasts bigger than he meant to, but how true that is, I don't know.

"She was just meant to be curvy and attractive. Toby said, if you're going to be following behind her, she might as well be appealing to look at. It worked for both men and women on that basis, because women liked they were playing as a female character in the first place."

In an interview in 2004, Gard would explain what he was going for: "She wasn't a tits-out-for-the-lads type of character in any way. Quite the opposite, in fact. I thought that what was interesting about her was she was this unattainable, austere, dangerous sort of person."

Called it. Nerd guy has the usual dominatrix fetish, which makes sense, what Lara most reminds me of is a curt English school teacher. "You've been a naughty boy, haven't you?" *wack*



Looking into the movie, it's written by a woman (of course) with a hyphenated last name, who is being tapped to write everything upcoming female-related because diversity. I see no point in seeing it, because, everyone will be working overtime to remove all traces of femininity so i respect her for being functionally a man, and will lecture me on sexism and the male gaze should I dare to find her attractive: which I won't, since she's functionally a man. Yet they'll cynically-try and play up her sex appeal in the promotional material whilst negating the fact they cast a girl with the body of a teenage boy.

As such, they're a dysfunctional group of people all around, and they don't need my money.

It's also a remake of the 2013 reboot of the series, which was the last one I played before I gave up (new) gaming in 2014, for the same reason I just listed above. Which means, if you go to see this, given that I guarantee the majority of what happens will be green-screen, computer-generated environments and action, you're simply paying to watch a lower budget, non-interactive version of a story you've already played through and probably haven't touched since - being generous - 2014, with - since that the 2013 game cost $100 million to develop, and the last Tomb Raider movie was such a financial disappointment that I doubt they're throwing too much money at this- a greatly-reduced budget for computer graphics.

So, really, what is the point? Any success will just lead to a round of masturbatory think-pieces saying how audiences obvious want, are demanding female - meaning sexless, functionally-male - action characters. Any failure will lead to a round of think-pieces blaming sexism and misogyny.

You might as well just go play the game instead, since I have no faith in Hollywood's ability to entertain me for whatever financial layout I make. I don't remember that game being particularly good, since it seems to have turned into that one 'all things for all people' game that all Triple A game devs make now that made me lose interest in gaming. I wondered what happened to the quiet puzzle game based around moving a physical body through complicated spaces with an great sense of exploration and isolation.

[Captainstabbin]

I never played a Tomb Raider game, are any worth a go?

[SamuelBRoberts]

Nah.

They're overrated. The draw was Laura's tits, for whatever reason, but they're not that special. In the early games they're literally a pair of triangles.

The actual game has never been that great.

[AnonymousBosch]

(09-22-2017 04:55 PM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  

I never played a Tomb Raider game, are any worth a go?

Depends on what you're after.

If you don't mind the modern style of Triple A Ubergame, and don't get motion sick, get the 2013 one. I bought it on sale for less than $10 a year after release, so I doubt it's expensive now. I vomited a couple of times playing it, due to the most obnoxious shaky cam I've ever experienced, which seemed to be a common problem with players from what I read online, but the company washed their hands, and refused to patch it. Note that neither the story nor gameplay ever made me ever return to it.

If you like a more demanding puzzle game, and can handle low-rez graphics, you only want Tomb Raider I and II, both of which I played through multiple times. The others are diminishing returns, where what is being introduced even in the second one lessens gameplay appeal, but it really negatively-impacts III onwards. Read up on how to update the graphical textures.

I'll disagree with Samuel here. The beauty of the first two games is they're fantastic examples of satisfying, rewarding gameplay driving design choices. You simply don't see this any more. The environment is grid-based and Lara has a strict set of movements that can be performed in various sequences, but they're always reliable based upon your starting position, and there's a satisfying clockwork nature to her performance. As such, movement around complex spaces is entirely based upon your ability to assess and recognise the environment, rather than having flashing ledges and shining levers guiding the way, and it leads to Iconic Level Designs like 'Saint Francis' Folly' or 'Opera House' where I can barely remember anything noteworthy about the 2013 game. Cut scenes are brief and in-between levels, so your fun isn't being constantly-interrupted by some Progressive Millennial's fantasy of writing Serious, Adult Hollywood movies, (though oddly-about teenage concerns like zombies and superheroes).

It hard now to understand just what groundbreaking games they were for their time. For the true 1996 experience, pretend that there's no internet, and that you have to figure out what to do and where to go by yourself. You'll probably understand why modern games hold little appeal for me now.

I think, to some degree, modern game designers know their core gameplay is lacking in inherent fun and satisfaction, which would explain why so many games seemed to be devolving into what I can only classify as 'Multiplayer Fuckarounds': grab a few friends, here's a bunch of tasks that be completed however you want, and you make your own fun... ...and possibly sexually-fixate on the glorified-cartoon characters involved. This excuses the designers from failing to deliver fun in the design.

Weird times, man.