[Glaucon]

[Leonard D Neubache]

At this point Hollywood knows it's fucked and it's just poking fun at the proles.

"What franchise is next on the list?"

"Tomb raider".

"Hmm. How about we make the new Lara Croft a transsexual?"

"Oy Vey, Schlomo. De goy have their limits."

"Okay. How about we cast a woman that just looks like a man."

"Or better yet, a boy."

"Perfect!"

[Rush87]

(09-20-2017 10:25 PM)Swooper Wrote:  

Actually this chick, Alicia Vikander, looks like a combination of Leighton Meester and Natalie Portman. She was dangerously attractive, seductive even, in the movie Ex Machina. It's a shame her body is so boyish.

Great movie. She's attractive for sure. She just ain't a big ol' tittied Lara Croft.

[Transsimian]

Breasts are part of Croft's visual identity.

All these girls look the part more than Vikander








And no, I wouldn't object to a white girl playing Sam Nishimura, it would be worth it for all the triggering.

[CynicalContrarian]

I guess the message of this casting is - you're not a real woman if you have big boobs...

[Transsimian]

Here is the actress from the game. She looks more suitable, and obviously can act the part.

[Rush87]

The problem they face is fairly big: They need a actress with a big enough name for marketing. She needs to be attractive, and she needs to be able to act - Finally, hopefully, she would look the part.

First and foremost, most females can't act. On top of this, those that can either a.) Don't look the part, or b.) Wouldn't want the part. This leaves those that do [Look the part], who realistically can't act, and if by some slim chance they can, won't be name brands.

On top of this, fans of Tomb Raider are a relatively small market. If they want to make money, they'll need other demographics, and I assume that they assume that the 'big titties' aren't a deal breaker - And they're probably right. Millennials are a beta bunch.

[Mage]

Without boobs, she looks underage and the whole movie looks like children's movie. Not as an action movie for adults.

[ivansirko]

Doesnt matter if she has titties or not.....well yes it does but...

ANOTHER REMAKE??!?!?!

[YoungBlade]

Fun fact: This massive rack



Was due to a bug. Someone hit 300% on the polygon rather than 30%, but they just left it after they noticed.

And now Hollywood is trying to tear down this legacy of bodacious breasts.

[NightVale]

The 2013 game reboot and its sequel had the reduced breast size. It did not go down well with gamers.

[infowarrior1]

(09-21-2017 07:21 AM)NightVale Wrote:  

The 2013 game reboot and its sequel had the reduced breast size. It did not go down well with gamers.

Give us back her breasts! Basement dwellers everywhere demand it!

Otherwise there will be riots in the streets as the permavirgins are deprived of their waifus!!!

[Foolsgo1d]

(09-20-2017 09:53 PM)CynicalContrarian Wrote:  

2017's The Mummy is a dud.
2017's King Arthur is a dud.
2017's Ghost In The Shell is a dud.
2017's Underworld is a dud.
2017's Wonder Woman is a dud.
2017's Alien (Covenant) is a dud.
2017's Transformers is a dud.

Etc. Etc.

With very limited exception (Logan). You're better off being of the opinion that every Hollywood film released these days will be a dud.

Remove the fun factor and testosterone and all you have is a shell. Those movies had none.

[Dan Woolf]

[YoungBlade]

(09-21-2017 07:47 AM)Dan Woolf Wrote:  

This is now a sexy Lara Croft Cosplay thread

[heavy]

Thing is, it doesn't take big boobs to be Tomb Raider...just big B or C cups. Your average chick's boobs, maybe slightly bigger.

All those other costumes look great, and most of them would barely sniff the Chive's FLBP day.

[Baphomet]

(09-20-2017 09:19 PM)Alpharius Wrote:  

To this?!

Why is a 13 year old boy wearing a bikini?

[sterling_archer]

Nice tits, and bows too!

P.S. Is that above this pornstar Dani "something", forgot her name?

[realologist]

To all the sexy Lara Croft cosplay girls.

WRT(Would Raid Tomb)

[Dan Woolf]

Just watched the trailer. The film looks like shit, almost like some indie B-film with a million dollar budget. I have no idea why anyone would want to see this, let alone pay any money to do so.

[John Michael Kane]

(09-21-2017 01:56 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

Wow, I prefer smaller tits, but this is too much even for me

(09-21-2017 02:24 AM)Suits Wrote:  

Stop it, you assholes. Man up and a grow big enough balls to appreciate that beauty comes in all sizes.

I actually prefer medium-size, well-shaped breasts if the truth be told. But if you're casting for freakin' Tomb Raider, get that girl a padded bra already. That's like taking away Indiana Jones's whip!

[General Stalin]

This film is basically a middle finger to the entire legacy of the franchise and all it's fans.

They took a game where the primary appeal was that the heroine of the series was a beautiful buxom broad boasting bodacious breasts and they cast an incredibly unremarkable looking woman to play her with an impossibly flat chest. I have larger boobs than this girl.

Fuck that shit. More sexy tomb raider cosplays please

[John Michael Kane]

[balybary]

Shocking hip to waist ratio.

Nice face and legs, though.

[John Michael Kane]

^^^ While both of them are certainly attractive women (fit, cute faces), only one of those two makes a man think "wow, she'd be a great woman to have ten kids with". When I was in the Philippines, I saw tons of cute, slender girls. Problem is, they have virtually the same hip and waist profile I do. Boyish bodies are kind of a turn off, even if they are attached to cute faces IMHO.