[Travel Museums]

Been keeping in touch with a SEA girl for about a year and half. We've traveled together and have strong feelings for each other. There have been some ups and downs, but we decided to stay friends.

Her current boyfriend (understandbly) hates this. He's lost his shit several times over it. During one of my trips with her, he started messaging me directly. We kinda became friends. We were both open and honest. He spoke the language and filled me in on a lot of backstory. Pretty much what I had already guessed.

I didn't see us as enemies. Just two guys who like the same girl. Once everything was out in the open my attitude was we should stop texting. It was a can of worms.

I'd still read his texts and told him I'd respond if there was some kind of actual emergency. I got back stateside. She predictably went back to him. He's paying her monthly. I warned him but genuinely wished him luck with that.

I kept in touch with the girl. We text pretty much everyday. It was hard letting her go. I never really cared she was a sponsorette. I enjoyed the time we spent together.

In the end there was no way for her to get a US visa. I scrapped plans for a summer road trip in the USA. Headed to Brazil today. First time to South America.

I want to go back to SEA next winter. The boyfriend is trying to lock her down. Checks her phone, deletes our chats, blocks me, makes her send messages that she's done with me. She just adds me again later.

She told me she's sick of his bullshit. But what can she do? She asked me for money. I care and would like to help. I told her that she needs to stop getting men to pay for her. Work and be independent. You're already in the top 1% of your country for christ's sake (big house, car, moto, etc.)

She used this dudes money to get into a seamstress course. He's also paying for her monthly cost of living. She had some savings but used it to travel with me. Her financial cushion from last sponsor is locked up in a ponzi scheme.

I noticed this guys texts become hostile then bizarre. So I just blocked him. He started sending me texts through her phone. Now this. Screenshots of my posts on the Roosh site.

Anyone else have this happen?

[wi30]

What is your goal?

[atlant]

Why are you so infatuated with a gold digger?

[JayD]

Don't know man, each thread you post you claim you are balling, fucking 8's or 9's daily, trading in the stock markets making a killing, travelled and lived everywhere but you have two threads now on one chick where apparently you have written over 10,000 words on. Reality check? Wake the fuck up or you are an elaborate troll.

[mensch]

This is bizarre. I don't understand why you want to deal with her bullshit.

[Themin]

forget about her, women like this are just trouble

[Travel Museums]

Goldigger?
My goal?

I already went through the backstory and reasoning in another thread. I had asked for help on how to go about keeping in touch, keeping the flame alive, planning future travel, etc. I'm not a total noob. I've dated girls in other countries.

I accept there is a bunch of nonsense drama no matter what I do. I'm just sharing. It helps me process the situation objectively. Maybe it helps other users, too. Please share your similar experiences.

It's been a few months since I left Laos. The heartache goes with the territory. I've been honest with both her and the guy. I have feelings but I'm realistic of the situation.

If she got a visa to the USA I'd take her on an RV road trip to national parks and some cities I haven't done yet. Pretty much zero cost for her.

But after looking into it that's not a current possibility. Visas are tough. So I'm planning to be back in SEA again. I hope she'll spend time with me.

Spending time together in Laos is difficult. I tried living with her in Vientiane. It's technically illegal for a foreigner to be alone in the same room with a Laos woman. Big fine or jail time.

So whenever I go there I end up in a guesthouse and move around. I like the traveling a lot. But if we are going to be doing regular trips in SEA I can't really stay with her as a base. Monthly border visa runs to Thailand are now capped. If that was possible I'd be staying with regularly.

Kinda weird that both our countries make it so difficult to be together in a legitimate way. Maybe that's part of the attraction. Romeo and Juliet.

I enjoy the time we spend together. I want to stay friends. Not afraid to admit I have strong and genuine feelings for her. We are highly compatible. More so than any other woman I've dated.

I rarely meet girls who fit into my travel lifestyle and accept me for who I am. I'm kinda tired of running game on chicks I'm not super attracted to, nor compatible with beyond a shag. It'd be nice to have one high quality girl.

I will never live in one city long term. My lifestyle is unique. I don't lie or tell creative truths about it. At 35 I'm about tired of club/nightlife.

So yeah she's fun, pretty, trustworthy, overall good person. She's not perfect. I accepted the "flaws" from day one. They don't really effect me anyway. It's her life. I told her what I think and laid out fair options.

Easy for you to label her a "gold digger". Not exactly. She's a girl who came from rural poverty. Got scooped up young by a rich older guy. He sold his business and cut her loose.

Most pretty SEA girls that fuck with foreigners will fall somewhere into that spectrum. If you live there long term and speak the language you will have better options.

Especially in the poorer SEA countries you see the P4P model. Most of the ones who speak English and are open to transient foreigners have at least one guy like me that they're keeping in touch with. Hoping to see again.

I meet lots of massage girls, freelancers, straight up prostitutes. I don't mess with that. If a girl had a long time BF of several years taking care of her it's a little different. At least to me.

Some girls get married, educated, land decent jobs. So they're not going to be in a position to travel with. Again, if you live there those girls are good options. For instance I don't understand why the BF doesn't just go for a girl like that. He speaks the language and has unlimited time to sweet talk any girl into a relationship. I'm in a completely different boat.

This girls sponsor left her with a nice life and some resources. But she invested poorly. She doesn't have any employable skills.

She took a chance on me. Spent what little she had left traveling. I had my fun and bounced. Yeah I wasn't cruel or disengaging about it. But I can understand her position.

She's got no problem finding a new BF to take care of her. Hopefully she'll listen to both of us and use the seamstress training to get some kind of a business and independent income going.

I don't know what my long term "goal" is. I don't look at it that way. I like her and want to keep in touch. Hopefully spend more time together.

Despite all the drama I could see myself with her long term. Depends on a few things.

[Travel Museums]

Never claimed I'm a baller.
Never claimed I bang 8-9s daily.

In fact, if you ACTUALLY READ my posts you'll see my lifestyle is somewhat the opposite.

Yes I've written a lot. Most of what I write is just repeating myself as nauseum. Hoping someone with a SIMILAR EXPERIENCE actually reads what I wrote. Or at least maybe it helps someone who might be going through same thing in the future.

I was able to retire in my 20s. I can afford to travel full-time because I stick to a budget. I have money in the bank. But I'm not touching my principle to dole out support payments to women. Nor so I can have an extra grand/month to "baller" in Bangkok.

I'm interested in actual travel. New experiences on a daily basis. Not moving to another country to do the same thing I could just do in the USA. Namely sit in front of a computer for hours, fuck around at the gym, get a rotation of decent-hit girls. I did that in my early 20s. I was extremely bored after a few years.

[Beirut]

How did he find you on roosh

[Jetset]

(06-20-2017 06:22 AM)Travel Museums Wrote:  

Despite all the drama I could see myself with her long term. Depends on a few things.

She's dating a lunatic and lets him use her phone to stalk and harass you.

I don't think it depends on anything, bro.

Your posts about this bullshit with this girl are like Ayn Rand co-authored a "short" story with Proust and Tolstoy. You're trying way too hard to rationalize this.

How did he find your Roosh posts?

[Travel Museums]

I don't know how he found me on roosh. It's a small country and I have social media presence. Lots of haters. Maybe someone tipped him off. She did tell me she saw his phone and he was stalking my social media like crazy. Maybe I mentioned pick up or roosh site at some point in a video too. I'm too honest about shit I guess I dont police myself or try to create a fake bullshit story.

Yeah it's kinda crazy that despite the drama I could still see myself with her. He actually seems like a good guy who legit loves her. And I gather the work he does in her county is wonderful and humanitarian. No hate for him. I did warn her he's probably gonna end up smacking her around at some point though. Too emotional.

[Jetset]

(06-20-2017 06:37 AM)Travel Museums Wrote:  

Yeah it's kinda crazy that despite the drama I could still see myself with her. He actually seems like a good guy who legit loves her. And I gather the work he does in her county is wonderful and humanitarian. No hate for him. I did warn her he's probably gonna end up smacking her around at some point though. Too emotional.

Bro's gonna be waiting in her closet with a machete.

He's paying her living expenses and giving her job training while she texts you everyday. He's studying you online and sending you crazy messages on her devices. You're studying him, too. You called him "ugly" on a forum post that he has, at this point, seen. Last guy gave her money and she lost it to a ponzi scheme.

There are different kinds of "bad situations", and this is a pretty severe one. You were warned in the other thread, you aren't the player here, she is. You and this other guy are getting played. She's a hooker. You're making yourself crazy over meaningless whore drama.

[Travel Museums]

I didn't study him. I assumed he was a good looking dude in the small thumbnail when he messaged my FB. Later someone texted me photos of them together (they thought I didn't know). I felt bad she couldn't do better. He's older and not particularly attractive. Hard to imagine she has genuine feelings for him and it's not just about the money.

I assume his humanitarian efforts in Laos are spilling over into the relationship. I hope it works out for the best. I'm not going to be intimidated or stop chatting with her though. Please. Is it really that big a deal? He knew more than me about her history.

Everybody plays the game.

[Gmac]

I don't know much about this chick but it sounds like you're suffering from the pitfalls of not only one-itis but a "captain-save-a-ho" mindset.

You're essentially fighting a guy over a girl on the other side of the world, a girl who is so comfortable using men for money she does it in front of you with a "friend" of yours. Call me crazy but I think you'd be happier investing your time elsewhere, even if that means taking a break from the SA-types. Don't let these chicks get you so bent out of shape.

[Jetset]

(06-20-2017 07:07 AM)Travel Museums Wrote:  

Everybody plays the game.

I don't think you are.

[Travel Museums]

The problem is the SA types are the only ones that are hot and able to travel. Alternative is to become fluent and live like local for months. Then I'm still likely to end up with a girl who needs me to pay for everything in order for her to travel.

I've seen dudes wth so-so backpacker type girls who McJob for 6 months then take 6 months off. I dated some travel nurses. Meh.

I agree it's not worth getting so frustrated over one girl. But it's kinda a pattern. Even when I had a rich Chinese gf. She was flying around china for business meetings, parading me around at dinners. When she visited the USA I had to deal with her spoiled asshole family and all we did was fart around LA.

[Genghis Khan]

(06-20-2017 07:07 AM)Travel Museums Wrote:  

I'm not going to be intimidated or stop chatting with her though.

Take this from someone who decided to keep texting with a girl: this behavior will not end well for you. You have two options:
a) keep talking to her, have her occupy mental and emotional space in your mind and have this (most likely) blow up in your face
b) cut off all contact and move on

The biggest mistake I made and I've seen countless other men make is to not cut your losses. I get it, it's tough when you're emotionally invested in a girl. But ultimately, you need to learn when to override your feelings.

Right now, what I'm seeing is you're rationalizing all your behaviors in order to justify interacting with this girl. Stop rationalizing.

The pattern - that's on you. Accept that you'll either need to stay in one place to find women or travel on your own.

[Travel Museums]

I agree with what you're saying. But everyone told me I'd never find a way to retire in my 20s and travel around the world. It took some searching and being open minded, but I was able to hammer out a decent lifestyle. Now I just want the cherry on top.

I feel like this girl/type is probably the best option ive come across. Maybe in another country the visa issues/living together wont be such hindrance.

Anyway this thread is going the same direction as the other one. I was more curious about others ever been stalked on here before? It's weird...

[Jetset]

(06-20-2017 08:28 AM)Travel Museums Wrote:  

I feel like this girl/type is probably the best option ive come across.

Time to break your pattern, man.

She's got two dudes telling her to get a job while they help her pay for fun shit. You know what's going on here.

[TravelerKai]

So that's why you asked about US visas for a girlfriend that actually wasn't yours.

You are a danger to other forum members. Your stubbornness might get others doxxed. Anyone if you know from here would be wise to disassociate with you on any social media platforms or chat applications, since you are not discreet at all.

You are also one bad move away from getting killed the next time you go back over there. Something tells me you just might be silly enough to do it too.

This will be your only warning from me. Leave that man and his whore alone and find something else to do before something worse happens.

[Travel Museums]

Hence trying out south america. this time tomorrow i'll be dealing with fat tattooed brazilians with pig nose rings. hopefully they wont be too annoyed i dont speak any Portuguese and am leaving soon.

[TravelerKai]

(06-20-2017 08:50 AM)Travel Museums Wrote:  

Hence trying out south america

Changing places doesn't make you do less stupid shit. Guys with shit for game in the US still struggle even in places like the Philippines.

Changing places won't change your problems, you will just drag them wherever you go.

Make the concerted effort to change your mindset. Only when you realized why you were wrong, can you make the steps to move forward.

[Napoleon3]

Quote - didn't study him. I assumed he was a good looking dude in the small thumbnail when he messaged my FB. Later someone texted me photos of them together (they thought I didn't know). I felt bad she couldn't do better. He's older and not particularly attractive. Hard to imagine she has genuine feelings for him and it's not just about the money.

Losers focus on winners
Winners focus on winning

Stop feeling sorry for her and studying what this guy looks like. That's female behaviour
Be a man and put her in your rear view

[Jetset]

(06-20-2017 08:50 AM)Travel Museums Wrote:  

Hence trying out south america. this time tomorrow i'll be dealing with fat tattooed brazilians with pig nose rings. hopefully they wont be too annoyed i dont speak any Portuguese and am leaving soon.

You must need to associate with a better class of Brazilians.

You've idealized this woman beyond all reason, when she's a near-NEET banging some other dude for beer money. There are tons of self-esteem problems here that, as has already been said, are on course to get you in a lot of trouble. You keep trying to convince yourself that she's your best option, but the subtext of your words is that she's something you found in the bottom of a barrel.

[Travel Museums]

i did worry about posting detailed travel accounts in the data sheets. but i saw so many people doing it. that was something that was suggested by other senior members as the best way to connect and contribute with the community. now you're saying it was stupid?

I don't think i even mentioned being on this site at all. just supposing it as a possibility. if it was it was probably once in an hour long video when i was trying to recall where i heard a travel tip or something like that. as for being doxxed. doubtful. this guy works for an intl humanitarian organization. i dont think theyd be happy he has a money girl. it's his job, visa, property, lifes work, and repuation on the line. he is the one in the illegal situation. plus he is nuts over this girl. you think he wants he plastered on the web as a money girl. he'd ruin her life.

i agree though that at this point it's easiest to just cut it off. she messaged me asking what a 9/10 meant. she thinks it means there is one prettier girl. its nonsensical trying to go into all that. its so weird.