[su24]

Hey guys, I was here a few years ago but the normal pressures of work, daily life, and slamming lots of hot bishes kinda made me forget about internet forums for a while. But now I got a big problem that I'm not quite sure how to handle or get out of so I was hoping you fine experienced gentlemen would be able to help a brother out.

Basically, I was banging two main girls.. a 26 year old and 22 year old. I'm 33, decent looking, and in good shape. I've always been pretty good with women. I was banging other girls too here and there, but these two were the main ones. Both are pretty hot. The younger one part time models, and is preparing to compete in my country's local Miss Universe selection finals. So she gets a lot of attention from other dudes. I've been with the older girl for going on three years, and was with the younger chick about 3 months. Both are in love with me.

Long story short, the 22 year old got into my iphone. Generally I enforce guantanamo level security at my place to get rid of any emails, text messages, bbm's, and pics and videos of other girls that I'm banging. But one day I got sloppy and careless, and she went through my phone. She found a message where i happened to call my long term girlfriend "babe" and she got suspicious. She called the other girl and they told each other everything. And I do mean EVERYTHING. They found out i would fvck one girl one morning, and the other girl that same night. That I would meet and bang one girl, and then take the other one out on her birthday. You get the idea.

So anyways, the long term gf stood by me and was pretty calm about it. Which is probably why I've been with her for so long. But the younger one is a hothead, she demanded I end things with the older chick. I refused. At this point, the younger girl blocked me on her iphone. I emailed her, and in this email I basically told her i was sorry for hurting her but mentioned some sh^tty things she had done to me, kinda blaming her for what I did. But she sent me a very long angry response basically and ended it off by telling me if I ever contacted her again she'd file a police report for harassment.

So I went LC the next two weeks. About six days ago, I was shocked to get a call from her. She wanted to meet at the mall. I tried to get her to my place, but she refused. So we met at the mall, she cried a bit. Blamed me for everything. I apologized. She said she wanted to meet for closure. But as we kept talking, she then told me we needed a bit of a break. That was she was going to cancun with a slvtty friend of hers. She's supposed to come back today.

She also said she did some pretty fvcked up things in the last two weeks since we had broken up. I asked her how many guys she had banged? She said none, but that she had done lots of drugs and had almost gotten into escorting, even going so far as to have some pictures taken in lingerie. I'm not sure she's telling me the truth, but I figure if she has fvcked other dudes she would tell me to get revenge for what I had just done to her. On the other hand, maybe she's not telling me what she really did because she still wants to keep me around. While we were in the mall talking she did tell me she forgave me.

So we left the mall and as she dropped me off at my house i once again tried to get her to come inside by offering to make her some tea. She refused, saying she had to go home and pack for her trip the next morning. I asked her not to do anything too crazy in mexico, she said she can't even think about men or sex right now (ya right). So I reached in to give her a hug or kiss and she said to not touch her and to leave. I told her to message me if she could when she got home before she went to sleep, but she didn't. However, she didn't block me so I guess this is good news..

So i know i sound kinda gay, i mean i'm not new to banging lots of hot pvssy but I really care about this girl. The last six days she was in mexico i've been going crazy thinking about what she's doing. She's supposed to come back today. How do I play this out? Do I message her before she does anything even more stupid, or wait for her to call me? Should I just move on and forget about this drama queen to save my own mental health?

I'd kinda like to save this while I still can. I'm banging other hot slvts, I got a new one coming over tonight that's a super freak and likes to get slapped around a lot during sex. But I still think a lot about this other chick and I think i might be able to get her back while she still has feelings for me. Thoughts, gentlemen?

[Vill@in]

Next this girl.

[Baphomet]

I really miss Tuthmosis.

[Windom Earle]

Pvt a passcode on yovr phone and move on.

[blck]

[Splord]

If you need to cheat on her, then she's not what you really want. I didn't read carefully but there is a chance that she does or will do the same (trip to Mexico and she'll be faithful after you've cheated? come on...). Don't think about LTR with her.

She's not he one.

Though you could still keep her as a plate.

Anyway, the ball is on her court, it is up to decide if she wants to stay with you.

And don't think that she will do it if you explain, apologize, promise you won't do it again etc.

The only chance for her to stay is if she thinks that it was her fault that you cheated on her, that she didn't take good care of you and all that. Make the hamster work for you and not against you for one time.

[UlteriorMotive]

There's a lot of bragging in this post which instantly triggers my troll detector.

I'll bite.

She will not look at you / respect you the same if you continue with her. You lost frame by apologizing and now that your mentality towards her has changed it is doomed to fail.

If you're great with hot bishes finding a replacement should not be an issue.

Courtesy of Heartiste.

XVI. Never be afraid to lose her

You must not fear. Fear is the love-killer. Fear is the ego-triumph that brings abject loneliness. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over and through you. And when your ego-fear is gone you will turn and face your lover, and only your heart will remain. You will walk away from her when she has violated your integrity, and you will let her walk when her heart is closed to you. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give her that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love her.

[su24]

Thanks for all the advice, guys. Appreciate it. I didn't mean to brag, just wanted to give you details to clarify the situation better.

I know logically the best thing is to move on. I don't have a problem meeting other women. My long term gf has chosen to stick with me to, she has handled this all very well.

Problem is, whenever I'm with other girls I only think about this one more. And when I'm by myself, like going to the gym or at work or whatever, I think about her even more.

Her contacting me and crying etc tells me she still has feelings for me. Can I turn her into a plate, and if I can, how do I do this - is my only option to sit back and wait for her to call me?

Our last meetup, she said a lot of things to make me feel really guilty. Maybe her comment about almost going into escorting to get paid for going on dates was her way of saying "i need you in my life look at all the fvcked up things i do to when you're not around."

I would like to keep banging her, as she is pretty sexually open minded. But I don't want it take months of begging, pleading, saying i'm sorry, and losing my dignity know what I mean? I think she might want me to show her how much i need her and how sorry i am, but i don't want to do it in a way that makes her lose attraction for me or makes me look like a lovesick beta phaggot.

Ulterior Motive, believe me this isn't a troll post. This is a very real situation, you cannot make this stuff up. I can go through a lot of girls banging them and not caring about it but seeing this girl so upset really got to me.

Logically, I know my best option is to just get out while i can. But what i'm looking for is advice on how i can get her back, maybe from guys here who have cheated on their gf and still managed to get them back..

How did you do it? All your advice is much appreciated, feel free to be tough on me I know how it is here and I deserve it. Splord, that was really great advice btw.

[Oz.]

Bro all you have to do is tattoo her name across somewhere obvious where everyone can notice your profound love for her.

This will make her so wet you'll be smashing it again in no time.

[UlteriorMotive]

I know logically the best thing is to move on.

If you continue you will be doing nothing but inviting more drama into your future.

I only think about this one more. I think about her even more.

Do you see a problem here?

Can I turn her into a plate, and if I can, how do I do this?

You can only do this if you can keep your emotions in check. By creating this thread and what has been said within it you have proven it is not possible

Maybe her comment about almost going into escorting to get paid for going on dates was her way of saying "i need you in my life look at all the fvcked up things i do to when you're not around."

How many other red flags are there?

makes me look like a lovesick beta phaggot.

[su24]

Well said.

[Rossi]

How do you care about younger, hothead girl if she demanded to break up with the older girl and you said no?

That means, you care about the older one more. I mean, I went to Cancun twice on my Spring Break and you also said, she is going there with her slutty friends. You know what I'm thinking, don't you?

[Napoleon3]

Do people even use BBM anymore?

I thought that was dead as Dillinger

[Easy_C]

Yep, this one should be considered done.

If you are going to be a player always remember that playing is a "Cop and Blow" game.


Your women will eventually get tired of dealing with your shit and leave. Plan on and prepare for it.

[birthday cat]

(02-08-2017 08:35 AM)su24 Wrote:  

So I went LC the next two weeks.

What is LC?

How often were you seeing the 22 year old girl before this happened?

Did you feel this strongly about the 22yo girl before this happened? or only afterward?

Did either girl expect exclusivity from you?

Before all of this, had you talked to either girl about exclusivity or seeing other people?

[samsamsam]

What was your name when you were here years ago? Your username. And next her.

[The Breeze]

I'm afraid you are not seeing the forest for the trees...

What you are not seeing, is that your LTR girl is now "clued in" as well.
Expect more drama.. challenges.. attitude.. and all the other lovely tactics
women can use so effectively.

Good luck bud. I'm afraid you are going to need it!

[su24]

I'll try to answer all your questions. I apologize for the wall of text that follows but sometimes life can get really fvcked up as you're all about to see:

Why bbm?

My long time gf and another girl i was banging went on a trip overseas to visit family. I have an iphone, but these two used android so bbm and skype were the two options we had to keep in contact.

What is LC?

Limited Contact. During the two weeks where she had me blocked, I had emailed her twice and she responded to me once. In my emails I basically told her i loved her was sorry for hurting her but pretty much blamed her and her b*tchy behavior for me doing what I did. I brought up some sh*tty things she had done to me. At that point she told me she was blocking me. After two weeks, i blocked my number in order to circumvent her block of me in order to call her. She answered, seemed surprised to hear from me, then proceeded to cry and tell me to never contact her again. That we were done. Then she hung up on me.

At that point I had decided to move on: I figured i had tried my best to make up for the sh*tty thing i had done to her and made the decision to move on, as that would be best for her. And for me too. But the next day, she called me from a private number and asked that we meet up at the mall. That's when we had the long talk where she cried, forgave me, blamed me for everything, and told me she was going to cancun with her slvtty friend.

How often were you seeing the 22 year old girl before all of this happened?

We had been dating for only 3 months, but we saw each other a lot. Almost every day. She does various modeling jobs and has limited work as a flight attendant. I have a job that allows me to stay home a lot, so we spent A LOT of time together. The few times I wouldn't see her, I'd hook up with my long term gf. The long term gf went on a trip overseas for like a month, so like i said me and the younger chick were almost always together. She had even brought up marriage and having kids eventually one day. She had spoken of marrying by the time she was 26. One of the things she was really angry about when all this broke out was that she had wanted to marry me and have my children.

Did you feel this strongly about the girl before all of this happened or only afterward?

I'm pretty sure I was in love with her while we dated. But she had kept breaking up with me. There had always been lots of drama. She had a pretty fvcked up sexual past, which i had just written off as "this is just young chicks these days" and "we were all young once we all make mistakes." I'm pretty sure I'm still in love with her now, because I think about her all the time. Every fvcking where I go reminds me of us. In her last angry email to me, where she told me not to contact her again or she'd file a police complaint, she told me she loved me so I assume it's true or else that would have been a great time to tell me what she really thought of me.

Did either girl expect you to be exclusive with them?

Yeah they both did. My long time gf had broken up with me last summer for four months (due to my cheating and some bad arguments we had had). When we got back together however, I told her that there was no point in me being loyal to her if she is just going to break up with me anytime she wants to bang other dudes.

As for the younger chick, the one i'm trying to get back, she also broke up with me several times. Usually over bs. Some of the stuff she broke up with me over would probably deserve another thread on its own. I'll give you a couple examples: one time we got into a stupid argument over nutrition labels and she almost walked out of my house. When I realized how stupid it was, i said "ok fine you're right" and then she got mad at me for agreeing with her just to shut her up.

Finally, another time the younger chick found some old porn dvd's in my drawer and demanded i throw them out. I told her look this is my house i'm a grown man you can't just come in here and demand i throw out my personal possessions. I told her i'd stick it in some old box and put it in my basement. I knew she was upset, but i didn't think it was a big deal. She stormed out of my house that night, and the next day she broke up with me saying i chose to keep an old porn dvd that i don't even watch any more and instead chose to hurt her. The next day i said fine i'll throw out the dvd and delete all my pics and videos of me banging my exes (i didn't, just hid them on google photos) and we got back together.

At this point, when we got back together she asked me if I wanted to be exclusive with her.. i told her the same thing i told me long term gf, that "i do, but there is no point in us being exclusive or me being loyal to you if you're just going to break up with me whenever you feel like."

However, that doesn't change the fact that I lied and cheated, to both girls. I didn't tell either girl I'm out fvcking other women. When they would accuse me, I would just deny, deny, deny. I did that the whole time.. until the two girls actually talked to each other on the phone and the jig was up. I couldn't deny the facts any more. The two of them even got out their calendars to look at what days I had spent with each girl. The evidence was too overwhelming for me to deny.

Have you talked to either girl about exclusivity or seeing other people?

I did yes. After me and the long term got back together, i told her there was no point in me being loyal to her if she can break up with me and try to bang other dudes whenever she feels like it. But I was vague, and led her to believe that she was the only one i was dating.

Same goes with the other one. After she broke up with me, i told her the same thing. But i also led her to believe i was not seeing other women. When she would accuse me and confront me with evidence, such as a text she found where I called a girl "babe" i would just gaslight and make excuses. The younger chick had at one point suggested an open relationship, to which i said no (i didn't want her fvcking other dudes, selfish yes i know) but i'm not sure if she was just testing me or being serious. Like i said she is very sexually open, which leads me to believe it would be very possible to add her back on as one of my plates.

How do you care about younger, hothead girl if she demanded to break up with the older girl and you said no?

Because the younger girl, i have been with her for less time. She seemed very unstable, constantly breaking up with me. I loved her more, but that may be because i'm in the honeymoon stage with her and everything is new and exciting. The older chick loves me, is calmer, and accepts me for the cheating scumbag that i am. When the older girl got the phone call from the other woman, she called me afterward and asked "what is this all about?" She was very calm which is probably one of the reasons I have been with her for so long.

That means, you care about the older one more. I mean, I went to Cancun twice on my Spring Break and you also said, she is going there with her slutty friends. You know what I'm thinking, don't you?

I do man, that's why I've been really upset these last six days. It's been pure hell for me. Mind you, I'm thinking it is early february and not nearly as crazy down there right now as it would be during march break.

[Serious Sam]

Once you have scorned a woman--and you have scorned this one--you will never have the upper hand in the relationship ever again. I knew a guy who was in a similar situation. He had a wife and a serious girlfriend on the side. He would do two lunches and two dinners almost every day (sounds stressful as fuck...not my cup of tea).

Eventually, his wife got suspicious and hired a private investigator to follow him around. Needless to say, he got busted.

His wife did take him back, but on her terms. Since he had a daughter with her and was successful and wanted to maintain his image, he ended the relationship with the other woman and got back with his wife. Let me tell you, the man was neutered. She called the shots. He had to check in everywhere he went. When I was around the two of them, I saw just how defeated he truly was. She fucking owned him. And behind her eyes you could see this seething resentment, the fire of a scorned woman. She hated him, but now she controlled him.

When this girl returns from Cancun, she will probably give you another chance, but ON HER TERMS. You will have zero control over the relationship except to end it once and for all. I will also add, she probably fucking hates your guts at this point, and she will never love or trust you again.

My advice, then, is to leave it up to you. Are you okay with staying in a relationship that requires you to practically hand your balls over on a silver platter, or would you rather maintain some semblance of control? Your answer to that question will determine whether you should next her or carry on.

[Adonis]

Relationship as you knew it is over, if you end up getting back with her she will constantly be pushing limits, shit testing, talking to dudes etc. You will end up being one of her plates or worse an orbiter. Looking at this situation objectively, you've got a lot of learning opportunities here.

I'm about your age, and there ain't no shortage of talent out there if your stats are true. Charge it to the game and move on.

[su24]

(02-08-2017 12:02 PM)Serious Sam Wrote:  

My advice, then, is to leave it up to you. Are you okay with staying in a relationship that requires you to practically hand your balls over on a silver platter, or would you rather maintain some semblance of control? Your answer to that question will determine whether you should next her or carry on.

Wow guys, thanks I'm really impressed with the quality of your responses.

I have a lot to think about today. She comes back today, and I agree I think if I don't message her today, eventually she will message me. I'm thinking she might let me back in as a sort of limited bf but only under her conditions.. or worst case nightmare scenario she will take me back in as an orbiter who is in love with her and will do things for her while she bangs other dudes and tells me about it -- making me feel guilty and pay for what I did to her.

I definitely DO NOT want to live my life like your friend. With my balls cut off. I also have zero intention of giving up my long term gf. Problem is.. they now both have each other's phone number.

I'm wondering if i can somehow get back the younger chick as a sort of FWB or in an open relationship but she has already told me she is not going to be part of some kind of bizarre love triangle.

I feel like my strong feelings for her are making me weak and whatever I do I will only lose. That's why I need you guys to guide me out of this fog, to think more clearly. If i stop seeing her, i only think about her more and what i lost and had this hot chick who as fvcked up as she was loved me and did a lot of great things for me. If I stay with her, you guys are right the relationship will never be the same and believe me by no stretch of the imagination was it perfect before.

I don't think she has any intention of letting me go. She wants me around. She knows I care about her, that's probably why she brought up the almost becoming an escort story - to make me feel guilty and want to be a part of her life to make sure she doesn't do fvcked up shit.

[armenia4ever]

Anytime cheating takes place - that's it. Over. Nothing will ever be the same. It's not worth efforts of repair. The trust breakdown means the shit tests, comfort tests, etc you will have to endure will be a daily and agonizing thing.

Might as well go for the other girl.

Plus as other men have mentioned here, is this a girl you even want to stay with? She's grabbing onto your balls and trying to control every detail. Already a MAJOR red flag.

[Vaun]

Trust is a seal. Its keeps the bond secure. But its also fragile when you mess with it. And once its broken, the bond is exposed and open to the world, and every outside influence that gets thrown its way.

And that seal is unrepairable. You can not fix a broken trust bond between a man and woman. And the only way you break that trust seal, is with irrefutable proof. She can get jealous all she wants. But without proof, its only paranoia on her part. Paranoia and jealousy are survivable, try dating a latina. With proof though, its broken for good. I would liken broken trust to death. There is no going back from this.

If you try to hang on through this, she will constantly punish you and make your life a living hell. Have a baby with her accidentally after this and your life is completely ruined. Trying to make it up to her, and proving to her that you really 'only love her', wont matter at all. Below the surface, she will always resent and hate you.

And she probably told all of her friends and family the day it happened, so they all think you're bad news now too.

Now that this is over, you need to let her go. Even if she comes back. If you really love her, you will let her go to find someone she deserves and is better for her. And you deserve someone you wont ever want to cheat on. Do you both a favor. There is no such thing as "keep two in the kitty", after you've pledged exclusivity to someone. Thats morally wrong. If you want relationships like this in the future, you need to be completely honest that you are not exclusive.

[birthday cat]

22 year old girl
I know you are new to the forum so let me give you some background. There is a trend of guys always suggesting that nexting the girl is the best option. Some of us are strongly disagreeing with this mindset in multiple threads, including me. However, I think your situation is an obvious next. So a guy who is complaining about guys always suggesting next, is suggesting next.

This girl is 22, "very unstable", "constantly breaking up with you", goes through your phone, does drugs, considered being a whore, etc. I'm sure there is more. Girls like this might be good for sex and casual relationships but you have strong feelings for her that you don't have complete control over. I don't think this can be recovered in any way that won't lead to a lot of problems and drama for you.

I know you might take her up on an offer to be in an open relationship anyway. I wouldn't do it. She has the upper hand now and I don't think you can handle the thought of her banging other guys so she will keep the upper hand. It would be different if you were capable of treating this girl as a plate but you aren't capable of that.

26 year old girl
You could possibly continue seeing her as a plate or open relationship. I don't think you are considering her for marriage/kids and I don't think either of you are going to be faithful to each other so neither of you should pretend that you are.

Someone will probably call me a giant cuckold for this but some of your girls are going to fuck other guys if you are going to be fucking many girls. It's just not realistic to be fucking multiple girls on an ongoing basis and having ONSs with other girls and expect all of these girls to not fuck other guys. They might lie to you about being exclusive but they aren't going to be exclusive. You might get your main girl to be exclusive but I don't think that is going to happen with this girl (based on what you said to me in a PM).

Some harsh truths
You are high drama. You have some insecurity issues that you need to look into. You should be thinking about things like your parent's relationships and the amount of conflict you have witnessed or been apart of in you life. I'm not saying this to be a dick. I'm saying it because it is obvious. You are attracting high drama girls and you are getting oneitis for an unstable 22 year old girl who considered being a whore, even though you have many other options.

You should also work on your relationship management skills. You are making big mistakes like seeing girls on a daily basis while you have several other girls.

Having your cake and eating it too
Having relationships and being able to fuck other women but the women can't fuck other guys.

I don't see many guys doing this.

I don't see any guys doing this with multiple girls they care about. Perhaps one main girl is exclusive while the guy is allowed to discreetly fuck other girls.

Are there any guys on this forum that are pulling this off without a lot of problems and drama?

[XPQ22]

You've lost this one - the drama level is God-tier. Sometimes one can re-vamp relationships with plates after one party or the other goes way off the reservation; I've done it before. But it usually requires that both parties were taking a more relaxed attitude to the relationship from the start. I don't see that here.

Quote:

She also said she did some pretty fvcked up things in the last two weeks since we had broken up. I asked her how many guys she had banged? She said none, but that she had done lots of drugs and had almost gotten into escorting, even going so far as to have some pictures taken in lingerie.

I mean, shit, dude. Drug use (my guess is she's not talking about just smoking a doobie and listening to the Stones) is a next-able offense intrinsically. Escorting? Sounds like she's got serious issues. And they're 100% not your fault, or problem. Don't accept this guilt-trip BS.

This chick is going through your phone? And you want her back? Yikes.

I don't lock my phone. I don't enforce any "Guantanamo-level security." If I find out a girl I'm dating so much as touched my phone without my permission I am OUT THE DOOR.

It's OK to care about her, but the best thing you can do for both of you at this point is to close it out. It will never get better from here. Apologize, say you're sorry, "it's not you it's me", part on the best terms you can, if you want. It's fine. Whatever you need to do so you both sleep better at night.

Then go out and win again.