[Leonard D Neubache]

Well I suppose we can draw the whipping to a close. Fathom appears to have made a wise decision, and he's right. As soon as he gets on that plane he will feel like a different man.

Mate, you're fortunate in as much as that you have an international escape shuttle ready for launch. The issue would be considerably more complicated if that were not the case.

[Pride male]

Dont.

[glugger]

(08-30-2016 06:02 AM)ivansirko Wrote:  

(08-30-2016 01:48 AM)Fathom Wrote:  

Dude passed away. Should have mentioned that. But yes, I originally had the same exact thought. "Those kids are not mine." But they are little, do not need financial support, and just want a male figure around. It's not like I'm being burdened. I do understand what you're saying, though.

Was she divorced before he died or is she a widow?

Has he answered this? She can't both a divorcee and a widow.

[Mage]

Fathom the advice is overwhelmingly don't do it.

Don't forget to post later on whether you married her or cancelled plans and flew away. I check this thread every day to see how the story unfolds. I am really hoping reason wins this time. Don't disappoint me.

[Suits]

My advice? Take her on a nice romantic get-away to the Bahamas.

[Leonard D Neubache]

(08-31-2016 08:26 AM)Suits Wrote:  

My advice? Take her on a nice romantic get-away to the Bahamas.

[polar]

(08-31-2016 08:26 AM)Suits Wrote:  

My advice? Take her on a nice romantic get-away to the Bahamas.

[Fathom]

(08-31-2016 05:34 AM)glugger Wrote:  

(08-30-2016 06:02 AM)ivansirko Wrote:  

(08-30-2016 01:48 AM)Fathom Wrote:  

Dude passed away. Should have mentioned that. But yes, I originally had the same exact thought. "Those kids are not mine." But they are little, do not need financial support, and just want a male figure around. It's not like I'm being burdened. I do understand what you're saying, though.

Was she divorced before he died or is she a widow?

Has he answered this? She can't both a divorcee and a widow.

Mixup on my part. He died. No divorce. And no, she did not kill or poison him.

(08-31-2016 08:16 AM)Mage Wrote:  

I check this thread every day to see how the story unfolds. I am really hoping reason wins this time. Don't disappoint me.

Well, it won't be updated daily but don't worry. lol Thanks, man.

(08-31-2016 08:26 AM)Suits Wrote:  

My advice? Take her on a nice romantic get-away to the Bahamas.

Hey, thanks for the well-placed wit, Suits!

[AboveAverageJoe]

Game and RVF saves lives. Glad to see an OP who could have easily been dismissed as a troll, not only get help and actionable advice from RVF members but more importantly he acted on said intel. Don't ever be afraid to pull the trigger. It is what separates men from the boys. Good luck, Fantom and game on.

[AboveAverageJoe]

By pull the trigger I was not advocating the aforementioned "vacation to the Bahamas".

[Off The Reservation]

[Merenguero]

(08-31-2016 08:26 AM)Suits Wrote:  

My advice? Take her on a nice romantic get-away to the Bahamas.

Or better yet, have her take a get-away to the Bahamas by herself so she can meet Dexter St. Jacques. Eddie Murphy really needs to start doing stand-up again.

[XPQ22]

(08-30-2016 02:45 AM)Cr33pin Wrote:  

I think marriage is pretty much a bad idea in general.. with exceptions of course. However marriage changes everything, the whole dynamic of the relationship. It's usually once girls get married that they start to let themselves go...seems like this girl already has it in her to let her self go but switched it around to try to find a husband.

It is strange, isn't it.

Say a somewhat chubby "average" girl starts getting banged regularly by a player; a man who she knows has options and isn't afraid to walk if she becomes too undesirable or unpleasant.

She'll often work her ass off to please him, start working out, pay for things, sex on demand, the whole nine yards. She slowly turns herself into a monster of "girl game", so much so that many other men start to notice her that didn't before.

Eventually, she may leave the player for a "better" man who wants to sign on the line, if the player ends up being recalcitrant. And then slowly revert to her old ways.

Too much constant energy to keep up what we as men pretty much have to do all the time. No wonder we have a shorter average lifespan.

[AboveAverageJoe]

^I would sig this if it wasn't so long.

[Jean Valjean]

Fascinating and wiki-worthy thread. The decision of whether to make this kind of commitment because of a seeming lack of better options is truly pivotal, much like deciding whether to commit suicide.

I've been in the same situation before, of having failed relationships and failed businesses and careers make me want to give up and just stick to what's comfortable and seemingly safe. The problem is, that gets boring, and then there's a desire to reach out for more, which means leaving one's comfort zone once again and taking some risks. As time passes, you may come up with a way to overcome obstacles that seemed insurmountable before. Unfortunately, once you've made a commitment to a wife and kids, you don't have as much freedom anymore to pursue your dreams.

Fathom, it sounds like you are interested in entrepreneurialism but have run out of ideas. There are a lot of guys out there with entrepreneurial ideas but no one to help realize them. One possibility is to go to a site like founder2be and find someone who is looking for a business partner.

I used that site to pitch my own business idea, and also reached out to my friends and family, but when no one was interested, I finally just gave up, got a boring job in corporate America, and got married, with the idea of running out the clock on the next few decades of this life in a similar manner as what Heartiste described in "This Is Your Life". Then I finally ran into someone on Facebook with a business idea that was slightly similar to mine, and I thought, "He has no particular interest in my idea, but if I were free, I would just help him with his idea, and use the success of that project as a springboard from which to launch my own idea."

(I was going to mentor this guy over the Internet in how to code, but he got distracted by his parents' urging him to get a job, and unfortunately I no longer have the option I had when I was single and jobless, of just moving a business partner such as him into my mom's house and coding the minimum viable product with him while living a minimalist lifestyle. I actually tried that once, with someone else; but after I moved the person in, they flaked and said they couldn't code after all. This taught me not to accept partnerships with people who don't already have a portfolio of past coding work to show that they're capable of it.)

There is definitely no shortage of business ideas out there waiting to be implemented. But most people who have the skills to implement them just want to work on their own ideas, or make big bucks working for already-established firms in corporate America. So, if you're willing to help someone implement their idea from scratch and launch a new startup, then you stand out.

[Rawmeo]

The short answer: You're about to marry a shipwreck and become the biggest cuckold in the village.

Long answer: There are just WAY too many red flags. Seriously.

1) She is a single mom. That's the biggest red flag of all and should be grounds for immediate disqualification of any girl. If you marry a single mom, you spit in the face of all the members of this forum, and tell us that everything we write, everything we blog about, has been in vain. You are sentencing yourself to a life of misery, being a cuckold that everyone laughs at, while you raise the kids of the man who was fucking her before, all that while she bangs that alpha on the side, because, well, you can't claim a park bench as your own. Nobody wants to spend his money and sweat on some other random babydaddy's genetic offspring. You have no rights over those kids, and you will be wasting your resources, because, well, they are not your kids. They are just bastards that play the role of a big cement ball attached to your ankle. Think about:
- Canceling trip plans because one of the kids is sick. It's the kid of the man who fucked her before, remember.
- Assuming parenting duties with ZERO return because they are not your kids.
- Having no right on the kids. If, after 5 years, she changes her mind and leaves you, you have no right to see them, because, in case you forgot: they are not your kids.
I don't know how you feel about this, but you're contributing to the decline of the Western civilization by letting single moms know that they still have a chance at love. A single mom (not widow!) should be a cum dumpster, nothing more.

2) She's overweight. While this can be solved, you need to look at the truth: She put on pounds during her previous marriage. It is a case of "I am now married so I can get fat and stop giving blowjobs". Once you put the ring on that thing, she'll start the same shit.

In short: She's most likely acting like a perfect wife in order to lure a man in so she can dump her kids on some beta who'll raise them "as his own" and get fat because her kids are sucking too much energy. If you get lucky, she won't divorce-rape you.. It's a trap. Please don't fall for it. Think with your head, not your balls. Fuck her as much as you want, enjoy the moments, but do not put a ring on that one. You should be looking for a younger virgin (if possible), not a shipwreck. Marriage is a too big commitment to choose a girl like that.

May be crude advice, but I always get jumpy when I see people wanting to commit to single moms. You mentioned the dude passed away - if she's a widow, i.e. he died during the marriage, then take my advice more lightly. Widows CAN make good gives. But if she divorced while he was still alive, then she's a single mom and proceed accordingly.

If for some reason, you have difficulty finding good girls in your home country, try abroad. You can hit me up for that, I'll be glad to give you a hand.

[Off The Reservation]

|
Great post, I agree if any woman leaves the guy before he dies she gets no widow credit.

[Ben]

The following clip posted by Bacchus comes to mind: https://youtu.be/0hnhvWKMqm4

When there is doubt there is no doubt.

Good choice OP.

[Bacchus]

I'd rather play a game of tackle football on this piece of land than marry a woman with even half the baggage you're talking about:



It seems less risky.

[Svoboda]

OP, are you on your way to that job in Asia?

[Fathom]

(09-08-2016 11:09 AM)Svoboda Wrote:  

OP, are you on your way to that job in Asia?

Yep. I am.

[General Stalin]

Did the RVF just talk someone out of getting married?

This community truly is great.

[Rawmeo]

The point is, too many people are afraid of marriage because of what feminists have done to our society. For most "normal" unions, marriage is like having a sword hanging above your head at all times. This can all be avoided by having proper arrangements. I got married a few months ago (and still am). Once we talked abour intentions to get married, I called my legal counsel and made an appointment for a prenup draft. I brought her there too, she was able to see the whole process. The lawyers drafted a prenup stating that "upon divorce, she has no right to attempt to take any share of any asset under my name, including alimony, spousal support, or any others.". Any children, if we have, would spend 1 week at each place. The prenup (both in Thai and English) has been signed in front of 2 witnesses and notarized. As a bonus, Thai courts forbid marital rape charges. That's a couple hundred of dollars that are sure to be a good investment if she decides to go rogue. I have a bulletproof setup and, therefore, it's all in her advantage to be a good wife, because she won't get shit from me if she runs away.

OP, since you mentioned that you are on your way to that job in Asia, my guess is that you listened to our advice and backed down from marrying this "girl". If I understood that right, then congratulations, you just escaped a sinking ship and dodged a bullet. When you'll be in Asia (you mentioned China, but any country can do), you'll realize how your life will be better there. Soon, you'll be in a cool rooftop bar with buddies in Shanghai and laughing about how, back there in America, you almost married an overweight single mom.

[Off The Reservation]

(09-09-2016 11:44 AM)Fathom Wrote:  

(09-08-2016 11:09 AM)Svoboda Wrote:  

OP, are you on your way to that job in Asia?

Yep. I am.

[Irenicus]

(09-09-2016 04:05 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Did the RVF just talk someone out of getting married?

This community truly is great.

Indeed it did.

That is why I truly appreciate this forum. Many lives have been saved (and many new ones have been created, if you catch my drift ) thanks to this forum and RoK.

OP...good job. Keep your head up, and you will be golden!