[playboyphil]

There's a lot of detail above but I think the only thing that will get you past your paralysis is approaching. Different coordinates might give you exotic appeal and a burst of optimism but you can enjoy lower cost and higher reward by just approaching where you're at.

I know how you feel. It took me a 1:1 mentor and three months of conditioning to get me out of my funk.

Approach and you'll get out of yours. PM me if you need some ground support.

[samsamsam]

OP, just trying to support you but it looks like CPH to MNL leaving May 15 and coming back June 15 can be had for less than $600 on China Southern. $650 Turkish, KLM about $1,000. There are other airlines between Turkish and KLM in pricing.

https://www.kayak.com/flights/CPH-MNL/20...2016-06-15

I checked some threads really quick and it seems like an apartment ranges from 600 to 1000 for something good.

I am pretty sure your trip would cost you less than 2,500 USD. And I don't think you would be scrimping. I don't recall food and other stuff being that expensive for my super short visit a while ago. Based on what I remember, that would be less than 2% of your savings.

I bet you would meet 10 to 15 RVF guys down there if you wanted to. Plus about 100+ chicks online. I am sure the RVFers would take you out for a bite/drink. They will give you the lay of the land. It may seem I become overly interested in your situation. Maybe a little bit, I just see you on the cusp of making a life changing move possibly, and I am trying to pitch you in all sorts of ways, to make that move/take that chance.

What is $2,500 and a month of your life compared to possibly living the next 40+ years with a much different, and positive, life perspective?

[newgame]

I didn't read the whole thread. You seem like a genuine guy and a nice person, but it's pretty obvious why you aren't getting laid. You need to build confidence; you need a killer instinct. You don't want to get laid enough to put in the necessary effort. Do you have low T?

Based on your very organized and overthought description of yourself, I'm guessing you're more socially awkward than you realize. I identify strongly with what you said about "Friends/social engagement", because I used to feel the same. I do well in a small intimate group or one one one, but in big groups I still feel like I don't want to participate. I also do really well with online chatting, which it seems like you do too. However, it's obvious that there is something wrong with your vibe since you struck out on all of your dates.

As others have said, you need to go to a very easy place like the Phils and get laid. After you get comfortable being around women you'll feel more confident, you'll be able to recognize signs of attraction, your vibe will be better. Once you have options a whole new world opens up to you: you can start taking risks, you can get pickier, you will land higher quality girls. At this point I'm guessing these girls sense the tension and desperation and they get spooked.

If you can succeed in a career making 6 figures, you can figure out women. It just takes a bit of practice, which you desperately need. Take time off work and go get comfortable with women. Stop procrastinating and do it.

[Sidney Crosby]

-Get some friends
-Get some new clothes
-Bang out a whore or two (not saying make this a habit but it will probably help you), do you really want to explain or act like a 36 year old virgin to some girl

[IDrinkYourMilkShake]

Since OP is living in Europe I think he should use the quick and cheap flights, that exists here to get around. Just go to, for example, Krakow over the weekend and see what happens and next weekend try somewhere else. Don’t get me wrong! I’m not opposing you going to the Philippines, that’s really what you need right now to kick start your sex life and to make up for all that time that you have been missing female contact. I’m just saying that once you come home, don’t just go back to your old pattern while waiting for the next trip to the Philippines. Instead, use that time and your opportunity of living near interesting travel destinations to have some European adventures as well, where there is approachable women. While doing that you can try out that hostel experience you listed, just to have it done and see what you think. And while doing that you can build up connections and a mini harem, just to make the most out of life lol. I have used penpal sites and such to get in touch with locals in advance of going somewhere, and to later hang out with once there.

I think that going to the Philippines will change you, not only with the satisfaction of your balls getting drained by a cute, warm and super feminine girl and learn how to interact with the opposite sex, but since you seems to be a observant and carrying person the reality will strike you with humble after seeing how cruel the world can really be. Also, you seem to research a lot so use that to impress the locals with your knowledge of their history (say something nice about dr.Rizal) and crack up some sentences in tagalong, cebuano/visayan and you will stand out from the sex tourist crowd.
These days there is also many Scandinavian girls going for the beaches if you wanna try out some “home-grown” since they have a much lower guard once you met them abroad. Besides banging girls, use the trip to try out new things. The Philippines is a great place for scuba diving, snorkelling and free diving. It also offers some great hiking (well depending on where you are) and I heard that now there is good boxing gyms and places to train FMA that are open to tourists, similar to muay thai camps in Thailand (I know you said that you didn’t do sports, but still..).

Besides changing venue, you also write that you realize that you have to change yourself

Quote:

“Because nothing will happen unless you change - the girls will never change for you.”

The thing that strikes me that you should work on is that you seem a little bit tepid. You say that you can do small talk and that you can talk about anything but with your date you did the most of the talking, you also say that girls never notice you. To me it sounds that you might not bring out the “edgy” part of your personality to activate them, maybe you need to put some spice by cracking a joke, slightly tease her or be very passionate about something that you are passionate about to chisel out your character. Then you can do some slight peacocking by dress a bit more outgoing/noticeable (still within your personal style) and why not starting to work out? You don’t need to be super jacked, but by improving ones physique you will raise your level of attractiveness and stand out more to the opposite sex, period.
And of course, you need to start approaching.

Before going home after your Philippines trip why not check out Thailand? Its on the way home, so to speak, and cebu pacific usually has some cheap flights to BKK. And when you are at home I once again will suggest that you check out Europe before deciding what your big life-change is going to be. Poland should be on your list, I also want to recommend Slovenia and Belarus. Slovenia is a chill place that surprised me with very friendly and pretty girls, but my experience there is limited so I suggest you check out the thread about it here on the forum. Belarus can be tricky because of the language, but just some basic sentences can take you a long way since people are sooo welcoming to foreigners and will help you without hesitating, and invite you for dinner. Its best if you got some interest for history and specifically the Soviet era or some for Slavic culture, in that case this is a spot on destination.
And there is plenty of warm and beautiful girls that are approachable (also slim, no fatties) and will be interested in meting a foreigner. Guys are really cool as well and you will most likely get to know people, no worries about social circles.

On a side note, I just want to say that it doesn’t surprise me that OP is Scandinavian (I’m from Sweden myself) I don’t know any “old” virgins, but I know people, in their mid-late 20’s that I highly suspect could be, and even more guys I know have lived in celibacy for years.
On the paper OP should be a catch for most women with being average/good-looking, having a nice career and so on, but here in Scandinavia things have gone pretty far in on the down side for men. I havnt read Roosh’s “Don’t bang Denmark” so I cant comment on that, but I would say that the intense level of feminism, bad male-to-female-ratio, anti-social culture based on tight social circles in order to met anyone, and the modern western individualistic lifestyle has created a toxic environment for social interaction and where women got disproportional demands and standards, while many men gets confused and low self esteem.
Hence why Sweden leads the world percentage of thai brides

thread-19826.html

http://www.humangeo.su.se/english/resear...ts-1.81188

Anyway, you are on the right way OP your life will improve once you start, good luck!

[RandomGuy1]

idane, some weeks have passed since your last post in this thread and I'm curious about how your plans look like.

Would appreciate an update ;-)

[Fortis]

Find some guys on the forum you click with and go out with them. Most dudes here will go out with you and show you around if you explain your situation, contribute positively to threads and seem like an alright guy.

That'll do more for your game than a move abroad. I'm lucky in that I used to live near NYC so there were a ton of cool RVF dudes always around.

Some of my funniest nights (good and bad) were just drinking whiskey at random bars in NYC with the RVF crowd and causing trouble. You'll also eek out some approaches but, more importantly, you'll be in environment where it's ok to approach and you'll be with people you can come back to after a bad approach and laugh it off. You'll also have friends with you for when you want to approach a girl in a group.

A lot of newbs go out, get blown out of the water, and never want to approach again. if you go out with RVF friends you get blown out still, but you have people to laugh with about it later instead of sulk and brood over it.

Do that a few times on top of your own cold approaches and stuff you should be comfortable approaching after a bit of time.

I've found that when I'm hanging with cool guys who like to approach women, that I must approach women lest I look like a coward. No one on the forum will call you out if you get cold feet, but you'll find yourself approaching more just because your buddies are approaching too.

Set yourself up for success by getting comfortable approaching on your hometurf. Then we can talk about flying to a "poosy paradise" and making it happen there.

[Stallion]

Some years ago I only had 4 notches and not so much confidence around women. After living in SEA and seeing how easy it was... my confidence sky rocketed and now I can deal with girls anywhere.

OP is not in the same situation, but still, STOP OVER THINKING and spend a few weeks in the Philippines.

All of you telling him to improve his game at home... what he needs is confidence... best way to get it are results.

Once you know that sex isn't such a big deal, you can approach at home with much more ease. Just don't fall in the trap of relying on SEA girls (I can't get white girls, so I will choose the easy way out and fuck only pinoys). This can be very dangerous for older guys, I've seen it with a lot of expats. At some point you need to learn how to deal with non SEA girls, better sooner than later.


From some of OP's comments (he went on dates but the women seemed bored, etc)... The second thing he needs after confidence is EXPERIENCE around women. Back home he could get a couple dates per week. In PHI, if he focuses 100% of his energy, he could do 2-3 per day (even more!). Over a couple weeks, that's probably more women he ever spoke to in his adult life).


Also, in your original message you said you don't need muscle so you don't go to the gym. Don't get offended... but if you don't even want to put some minor effort to improve yourself... well... why would girls want to sleep with you. It's not about the muscle... it's about your conformist attitude.. that's what average guys say. Again, don't take me wrong, I used to think like that, and realized how stupid I was being.

Why wouldn't you want to be healthier and better looking, specially as you age. If you are worried you will look like a steroid freak... don't worry, it's not going to happen. But after 2 years of lifting you will look better than 99% of guys your age (or even younger guys). Do yourself a favor and buy Starting Strength from amazon, thank me later.

[idane]

(04-24-2016 03:48 AM)RandomGuy1 Wrote:  

idane, some weeks have passed since your last post in this thread and I'm curious about how your plans look like.

Would appreciate an update ;-)

I have read all your messages with great interest and I really appreciate the interest in my situation. However,

1. I cannot go anywhere the next 6 months - I need to complete a travel adventure which I have been planning for the last 2 years - I will noy disclose it here as it will reveal too much about myself (you can PM me if you want). However that vacation was not originally trageted towards getting laid - but based on the responses I have managed to change some of the contents and add a little bit of game.

2. I bought Tinder Plus with the aim of swiping in different locations. Just to see what happens. Of course I tried the Philippines and the results were overwhelming: Very high success rate. Very friendly, very approachable and some very intelligent. One girl was even prepared to pick me up at the airport. And many were quite cute. I also tried to locate myself in different university towns in USA ... success rate was almost zero - of course with the same profile pictures.

3. Lately I noticed, when walking down the street, during the day, girls/women would give me a quick smile - but only a few. Those girls/women would be max 6 on the scale. All the girls above 6 are typically glued to their phone - they feel they are in a differen league :-).

4. I have been lurking about going to the Philippines and trying to combine it with some surfing etc, but to be realistic it will be during fall or winter this year.

idane

[samsamsam]

I appreciate you providing an update and not disappearing like others who seek to only help themselves. I wish you a wonderful trip wherever you end up going.

Regardless if your journey seems daunting, remember just one step at a time.

(04-24-2016 04:25 PM)idane Wrote:  

One girl was even prepared to pick me up at the airport.

Eskimo brothers anyone?

Be well.