I'm lucky in that my parents saw my interest in woodworking and I started working on small projects when I was 16. Did your parents do the same?
Did your parents recognize your skills or interests when you were young?
My parents sacrificed a lot to allow my brother and I to play sports. They spent tons of time and money on us. They dropped thousands of dollars on goalie gear and weekend showcases out of state. Unfortunately, I didn't make it to the NHL, but I got to visit a lot of interesting places on the road over the years. I also got to go to an out of state college to play.
I come from a blue collar family and recently learned that my dad refinanced the house to pay for some of our hockey and lacrosse tournaments. I can't wait for the day I'm successful enough to buy him a retirement home on a lake. He deserves it.
I come from a blue collar family and recently learned that my dad refinanced the house to pay for some of our hockey and lacrosse tournaments. I can't wait for the day I'm successful enough to buy him a retirement home on a lake. He deserves it.
My parents always urged me to try out new Things, and I am really glad they did. This way I found out about most of my passions. They send me to summer camps, skiing, riding, Museums, Theaters, operas and much more.
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Only partially. Unfortunately I was raised by a single mom, so I had no father figure to force me to get out of my comfort zone.
My mother was mostly okay with me trying out new things, but she never made any effort to actively encourage me to do anything. Sometimes it was quite the contrary - she was a constant worrier and often made sure to point out how something is dangerous or foolish to do, which further destroyed my already non-existing confidence.
There's a saying in Croatian that translates as "When God closes a door, he always leaves a window open somewhere". In my case, the 'window' was my character with its inborn skepticism of accepting others' opinions and societal norms; that, combined with my frustration from turning into a total omega nerd by the time I went to college, was enough to get my ass into gear in my 20's. It was only then that I began to explore life and get out of my comfort zone. When I think of it, this combo (stubborn character + frustration) actually saved me from living a 'just be yourself' miserable life.
My mother was mostly okay with me trying out new things, but she never made any effort to actively encourage me to do anything. Sometimes it was quite the contrary - she was a constant worrier and often made sure to point out how something is dangerous or foolish to do, which further destroyed my already non-existing confidence.
There's a saying in Croatian that translates as "When God closes a door, he always leaves a window open somewhere". In my case, the 'window' was my character with its inborn skepticism of accepting others' opinions and societal norms; that, combined with my frustration from turning into a total omega nerd by the time I went to college, was enough to get my ass into gear in my 20's. It was only then that I began to explore life and get out of my comfort zone. When I think of it, this combo (stubborn character + frustration) actually saved me from living a 'just be yourself' miserable life.
Yes, my mother always encouraged me to read and write. I can 100% attribute my love of books and learning to my mother. As problematic as she has been in many ways in my life, I am eternally grateful for that gift.
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OP has started some pretty random threads.
No, it was mostly them deciding what my interests would be and what I had to stick to.
The interests I did display received a neutral or negative response. One of those interests, a very strong interest I was obsessed with as a child, I am currently trying to reboot. Had that interest been supported or pushed, back when I was 10, I would be in an extremely strong financial and location-independent position right now based on the way that industry progressed.
My parents are basically a textbook example in the nature-vs-nurture debate, of the importance of nurture, or at the very least not outright damaging your offspring's future.
The interests I did display received a neutral or negative response. One of those interests, a very strong interest I was obsessed with as a child, I am currently trying to reboot. Had that interest been supported or pushed, back when I was 10, I would be in an extremely strong financial and location-independent position right now based on the way that industry progressed.
My parents are basically a textbook example in the nature-vs-nurture debate, of the importance of nurture, or at the very least not outright damaging your offspring's future.
They were very supportive of the extracurricular things I wanted to try in addition to taking a keen interest in how I was doing in school (I'm convinced the reason I'm a very good speller is my dad drilled it into me in elementary school). My mother got me into music at a very young age (like 4 years old), so I'm a classically trained musician. When I wanted to switch instruments at a very young age they let me (I only switched once). My father was more about the athletic side of things, and went to a lot of trouble supporting my high school sports career and martial arts training. Oh, and the scout stuff, my dad was very helpful there. They were generous about taking me to the library and buying me books and whatnot, and always encouraged learning. (Holy parentheses Batman!) They spent a load of money raising us kids, that's for sure.
I have other interests they didn't really know much about themselves, and so I think they didn't know how to support me in them. Writing, for example. I love stories and fiction. I've wanted to make my living writing fiction since middle school. I only recently started pursuing that dream, as the market has changed so that independent publishing is a viable option now. Anyway I have no idea how my parents could've supported that desire other than by reading and critiquing stories I wrote, which my mom did. Now, oddly, I don't really want my family to read my stories. I'm seriously considering keeping my pen names secret from them.
I have other interests they didn't really know much about themselves, and so I think they didn't know how to support me in them. Writing, for example. I love stories and fiction. I've wanted to make my living writing fiction since middle school. I only recently started pursuing that dream, as the market has changed so that independent publishing is a viable option now. Anyway I have no idea how my parents could've supported that desire other than by reading and critiquing stories I wrote, which my mom did. Now, oddly, I don't really want my family to read my stories. I'm seriously considering keeping my pen names secret from them.
No, I hate my parents. They also constantly berated me and weren't supportive of anything I pursued. As I'm getting older I'm becoming more and more jealous of kids with good, loving parents. They don't know how lucky they are.
Oh fuck no even though he made over 100k a year easily. He sheltered me through my young life to the point I involved myself in drugs and booze to an extreme sense to make up for social awkwardness later on. Even stuff such as Tennis or Chess I wasn't encouraged to take part in even though I had a huge interest.
Only thing he encouraged was studying. Period. Don't raise yours kids that way is the only warning I can give you. Fund athletic hobbies if they have any. Granted I did take up Billiards fairly well as a result of hanging with shady types.
Only thing he encouraged was studying. Period. Don't raise yours kids that way is the only warning I can give you. Fund athletic hobbies if they have any. Granted I did take up Billiards fairly well as a result of hanging with shady types.
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^ It can be a problem if parents get too excited about a child's skill and push them too hard in that direction even if the child is not interested in it. Parents letting their children's abilities become part of their own ego is a dangerous thing.
Not really. Anything I had an interest in, was deemed "childish", "too dangerous" or "too expensive".
My parents did realize I was heavily into music, but they never wanted me to get too serious about it, let alone make a living from it.
'Cause, y'know, doing something I have a passion for (that they didn't approve) would make them look bad.
To quote my mom, "I don't want you hanging around those alcoholic drugfiends, I want you to get a good education and a respectable job".
This was back in the late 90's-early 00's.
These days, my dad's pretty much the only one in my family, who got it. He's been supportive and downright encouraging since 2007.
(Mainly due to my late uncle, also a musician, praising my playing after he saw me perform with a couple of kids from the music school in my hometown.)
Mom and my (older) sisters still bitch and moan about me "not growing up" and "not settling down with a nice girl", even though they've seen me play with different groups.
I stopped talking to them about my "childish hobby" a couple of years ago... And now they're wondering why I won't talk to them.![[Image: icon_lol.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/new/icon_lol.gif)
My parents did realize I was heavily into music, but they never wanted me to get too serious about it, let alone make a living from it.
'Cause, y'know, doing something I have a passion for (that they didn't approve) would make them look bad.
To quote my mom, "I don't want you hanging around those alcoholic drugfiends, I want you to get a good education and a respectable job".
This was back in the late 90's-early 00's.
These days, my dad's pretty much the only one in my family, who got it. He's been supportive and downright encouraging since 2007.
(Mainly due to my late uncle, also a musician, praising my playing after he saw me perform with a couple of kids from the music school in my hometown.)
Mom and my (older) sisters still bitch and moan about me "not growing up" and "not settling down with a nice girl", even though they've seen me play with different groups.
I stopped talking to them about my "childish hobby" a couple of years ago... And now they're wondering why I won't talk to them.
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No, and neither did my peers. I didn't meet anyone who had truly supportive parents until I went to college. At first I thought they were in a cult. Turns out they are just "well adjusted."
I've posted it before in this forum, my parents shouldn't have had children. They were both distinctly unsuitable for the task. The only positive (in my opinion) is that my mother's unreliability as a care giver and struggles with mental illness engendered a deep skepticism and distrust of people who have 'authority' over others. It has also provided me with a drive to clearly discern the motives of others to influence and predict their behavior as I am presently incapable of trusting other human beings.
I've posted it before in this forum, my parents shouldn't have had children. They were both distinctly unsuitable for the task. The only positive (in my opinion) is that my mother's unreliability as a care giver and struggles with mental illness engendered a deep skepticism and distrust of people who have 'authority' over others. It has also provided me with a drive to clearly discern the motives of others to influence and predict their behavior as I am presently incapable of trusting other human beings.
They wanted me to play ball, even installed a basketball hoop on the garage when I was 7 that later became the neighborhood hangout.
Thought I had a decent chance up until freshman year in HS-then music took over.
Never regrets though
Thought I had a decent chance up until freshman year in HS-then music took over.
Never regrets though
MDP
"Did your parents recognize your skills or interests when you were young?"
No they didn't, although one primary school teacher did correctly predict that I would go to university and then work as a scientist.
No they didn't, although one primary school teacher did correctly predict that I would go to university and then work as a scientist.
Once they noticed that I was interested in computers they encouraged it as well as they could. Dad was a manager at a burger king so it was mostly hand me down computers and cheap rural ass internet but they meant well. They didn't really know much about them so they had a hard time making sure I was on the right path, so we were around the guidance councilors in school fairly often.
I think they did a decent job. I came out of high school a pretty awful beta though. They kept me in sports and pretty much forced me into social situations so it wasn't like they didn't try.
I think they did a decent job. I came out of high school a pretty awful beta though. They kept me in sports and pretty much forced me into social situations so it wasn't like they didn't try.
My dad realized I could have been pretty good at kart racing etc. and that type of thing, so when I was in probably around 12-13 he asked me if I wanted to that instead of sports cause there was only enough time and money for either sports year round (different sports in every season) or racing.
I chose to continue playing team sports and I don't regret it.
I chose to continue playing team sports and I don't regret it.
Quote: (03-07-2016 11:09 AM)birthday cat Wrote:
^ It can be a problem if parents get too excited about a child's skill and push them too hard in that direction even if the child is not interested in it. Parents letting their children's abilities become part of their own ego is a dangerous thing.
I think sometimes that's hard especially for team sports, because the parents of good kids on the team are also sometimes treated like gods.
My parents were told early on by a manipulative psychologist that I had no chance of graduating high school let alone being self-sufficient. Their parenting style was distinctly laize-faire where they didn't encourage or discourage anything save they didn't want to invest much in the way of time. Grew up with all the candy/games any kid thinks they want. Psych had free-reign on me for my early years, went through school scarred. Only interests I had were distracting and cathartic games, not any different from the few friends I had.
Really need to sit down and have a talk with my parents, they seem to waver between feeling guilty and desiring proof that the psych was right. I've come to a point where I'm not 'the victim,' this has hurt all three of us. I need to know if we can rebuild out family or if I need to move on, waiting on some eye surgery right now. As it turns out I can't drive with my eyes, found out at 16.. the irony of this situation hadn't gone over my head. C'est la vie?
Really need to sit down and have a talk with my parents, they seem to waver between feeling guilty and desiring proof that the psych was right. I've come to a point where I'm not 'the victim,' this has hurt all three of us. I need to know if we can rebuild out family or if I need to move on, waiting on some eye surgery right now. As it turns out I can't drive with my eyes, found out at 16.. the irony of this situation hadn't gone over my head. C'est la vie?
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