While reading the book "The Wisdom of Psychopaths" by Kevin Dutton (great read btw), a lot of the stuff, which he described, seemed familiar to me. I could pretty much identify with most of the characteristics, which where supposed to indicate psychopathy.
Out of curiosity, I engaged in some amateur online self tests to measure my level of psychopathy. I came out pretty strong in these tests, so I decided to consult a psychiatrist to ease my mind, that I am not going insane or anything.
During the 15 sessions I've had, he asked me about my genuine opinions on every topic you could imagine. He wanted to know about every girl I've been with, my relationship with my parents and my views on life and moral values. He often wanted me to imagine to be in a specific situation and how I would react (mainly moral questions.)
For example:
"Imagine you are player 1 and another person is player 2. Player 2 is handed 500 bucks by the "game master". Each of the players get to make 1 decision. Player 2 decides, how he would like to have the money spared between you guys. It is completely up to him. You (player 1) get to decide whether you are accepting his offer or not. If you accept, the money will be divided, on his terms. If you refuse, because you think it's unfair, nobody will get any of the money. Imagine player 2 wants to keep 450$ and would like to let you have 50$, would you accept this offer?."
My answer: "Yes, I would accept any offer of him." (Psychopaths don't take anything personal. For me it's only about the money, I see no point in ratting him out, since then I wont receive any money.)
After 7 sessions he suggested, that I could do an EEG Test, which basically measures ones brain waves. While my head was linked to the computer, he showed me numerous pictures, videos and noices over a big screen and headphones. The whole test took us about 45 minutes and then he turned to me and showed me the results on his computer.
![[Image: qn0khYB.png]](http://i.imgur.com/qn0khYB.png)
He pointed out several areas, were I received neutral or pleasent pictures/videos/noices. (Horses, Flowers, Blue Sky, Birds Singing, and so on.) Then he showed me how my brain reacted to pictures of amputations, guns, blood and gore content.
Most of the stuff he explained to me, I had already read in the book, so I wasn't exactly dubious about what it meant for me.
While normal people's brain waves freak out, when confronted with alarming, dangerous or unpleasent impressions, mine remained neutral and undisturbed.
"In fact, your brainwaves even got more relaxed and continuous, like in a meditative state.", he explained to me.
"So, what does this mean for me? Am I going crazy, because I feel pretty normal, like always.", I wanted to know.
He replied: "Since you told me, that you have never aggression problems or commited any crime, I think that you are a "functional psychopath."
All night, I read up on the topic of good/successful/functional psychopaths and took in everything I could find on the internet. Over night, my uncertain and clueless mind turned into pride and even more narcissism, lol. I think this emotional disfunction has only advantages for me. I didn't tell anyone so far and don't plan on doing that in the future. Most people wouldn't recieve it very well, I guess.
However, I figured I could share my insights and experiences with the forum on how it is like to be a psychopath, since I thought it could interest some of you.
I will answer your questions to the best of my ability.
Cheers,
Sudo
Out of curiosity, I engaged in some amateur online self tests to measure my level of psychopathy. I came out pretty strong in these tests, so I decided to consult a psychiatrist to ease my mind, that I am not going insane or anything.
During the 15 sessions I've had, he asked me about my genuine opinions on every topic you could imagine. He wanted to know about every girl I've been with, my relationship with my parents and my views on life and moral values. He often wanted me to imagine to be in a specific situation and how I would react (mainly moral questions.)
For example:
"Imagine you are player 1 and another person is player 2. Player 2 is handed 500 bucks by the "game master". Each of the players get to make 1 decision. Player 2 decides, how he would like to have the money spared between you guys. It is completely up to him. You (player 1) get to decide whether you are accepting his offer or not. If you accept, the money will be divided, on his terms. If you refuse, because you think it's unfair, nobody will get any of the money. Imagine player 2 wants to keep 450$ and would like to let you have 50$, would you accept this offer?."
My answer: "Yes, I would accept any offer of him." (Psychopaths don't take anything personal. For me it's only about the money, I see no point in ratting him out, since then I wont receive any money.)
After 7 sessions he suggested, that I could do an EEG Test, which basically measures ones brain waves. While my head was linked to the computer, he showed me numerous pictures, videos and noices over a big screen and headphones. The whole test took us about 45 minutes and then he turned to me and showed me the results on his computer.
He pointed out several areas, were I received neutral or pleasent pictures/videos/noices. (Horses, Flowers, Blue Sky, Birds Singing, and so on.) Then he showed me how my brain reacted to pictures of amputations, guns, blood and gore content.
Most of the stuff he explained to me, I had already read in the book, so I wasn't exactly dubious about what it meant for me.
While normal people's brain waves freak out, when confronted with alarming, dangerous or unpleasent impressions, mine remained neutral and undisturbed.
"In fact, your brainwaves even got more relaxed and continuous, like in a meditative state.", he explained to me.
"So, what does this mean for me? Am I going crazy, because I feel pretty normal, like always.", I wanted to know.
He replied: "Since you told me, that you have never aggression problems or commited any crime, I think that you are a "functional psychopath."
All night, I read up on the topic of good/successful/functional psychopaths and took in everything I could find on the internet. Over night, my uncertain and clueless mind turned into pride and even more narcissism, lol. I think this emotional disfunction has only advantages for me. I didn't tell anyone so far and don't plan on doing that in the future. Most people wouldn't recieve it very well, I guess.
However, I figured I could share my insights and experiences with the forum on how it is like to be a psychopath, since I thought it could interest some of you.
I will answer your questions to the best of my ability.
Cheers,
Sudo
This user has commited suicide
