Roosh's observations mirror my own across the board. While he's spent most of the last two years abroad, I've spent most of them stateside.
We've long complained about the U.S. dating market, but I've seen a major turn for the worst in the last couple of years that is especially alarming. The U.S. (urban) dating market has gotten so abysmal that it requires an ever-increasing amount of fitness, verbal skills, attempts, and error-free game for the average guy to get a decent chick. Guys are having to get shredded, be a stand-up comedian, sing acapella like R. Kelly, do tons of approaches, and still not fuck up to get some semi-friendly 7 who knows how to make Chicken Piccata from scratch. And even then, he's having to collect more numbers to get just that.
Numbers are getting even more worthless (you practically have to bang a girl in the Starbucks bathroom to ensure she doesn't flake), and cute girls are getting inconceivably arrogant and flakey. Already small margins for error are shrinking. These are trends we've noted in the past, but this seems like a natural acceleration of them. I'm not a gloom-and-doom kind of guy, but there are realities that are simply too hard to ignore.
I attribute a lot of this to the inexorable penetration of social media, combined with a deadly cocktail of US-specific accelerants. As I tell a lot of people in real life, two years is an eternity in the dating market. A lot can change, and has, in that time. Even one lamentable trend in the last two--the increased commodification of dudes through online dating--has intensified. We've gone from having to write (or read) a message (OKCupid or POF) to merely swiping left or right by the hundred (Tinder). These trends always affect men more adversely that women, and it's a race to the bottom. Obviously, the usual suspects--like the continuance of the obesity epidemic, the advent of new attention-whoring avenues (Instagram), and phone addiction more generally--are playing their part.
I re-tweeted this earlier tonight.
As a result, I--someone who probably has above-average game skill--find myself going through more frequent episodes of game fatigue. I get fed up with bitches and don't feel motivated to approach for days at a time. That either leads to tepid approaches, or fuck-it moments where I don't have the energy (or desire) to talk to a given chick. I still get lays, but I'm having to bust my ass more than before. Even if you try to attribute this to my own unique situation--and you probably can to some extent--you can't deny that realities on the ground are playing a part. For a while, I was attributing this to the effects of a colder winter in parts of North America, but this is seeming like the new normal. From my small sample, it doesn't seem like I'm alone in this general sentiment.
It's really getting to the point that the only way for a regular guy to get one of the remaining gems (and especially date up) is to have access to a closed fishbowl where he can work incremental social-circle game. Day and night games will always "work," but like a shrinking economy, a tightening dating market means lower yields at ballooning prices (time and effort).
The solution a lot of guys will throw out--and have been for a while--is to leave the country, but for those stuck in the U.S., I'd say understanding these realities is a start. I certainly don't think the think-positive-thoughts philosophy expounded by some forum members ("I banged a 19-year-old just the other day, so everything is fine!!!") changes the reality of the situation.
We've long complained about the U.S. dating market, but I've seen a major turn for the worst in the last couple of years that is especially alarming. The U.S. (urban) dating market has gotten so abysmal that it requires an ever-increasing amount of fitness, verbal skills, attempts, and error-free game for the average guy to get a decent chick. Guys are having to get shredded, be a stand-up comedian, sing acapella like R. Kelly, do tons of approaches, and still not fuck up to get some semi-friendly 7 who knows how to make Chicken Piccata from scratch. And even then, he's having to collect more numbers to get just that.
Numbers are getting even more worthless (you practically have to bang a girl in the Starbucks bathroom to ensure she doesn't flake), and cute girls are getting inconceivably arrogant and flakey. Already small margins for error are shrinking. These are trends we've noted in the past, but this seems like a natural acceleration of them. I'm not a gloom-and-doom kind of guy, but there are realities that are simply too hard to ignore.
I attribute a lot of this to the inexorable penetration of social media, combined with a deadly cocktail of US-specific accelerants. As I tell a lot of people in real life, two years is an eternity in the dating market. A lot can change, and has, in that time. Even one lamentable trend in the last two--the increased commodification of dudes through online dating--has intensified. We've gone from having to write (or read) a message (OKCupid or POF) to merely swiping left or right by the hundred (Tinder). These trends always affect men more adversely that women, and it's a race to the bottom. Obviously, the usual suspects--like the continuance of the obesity epidemic, the advent of new attention-whoring avenues (Instagram), and phone addiction more generally--are playing their part.
I re-tweeted this earlier tonight.
As a result, I--someone who probably has above-average game skill--find myself going through more frequent episodes of game fatigue. I get fed up with bitches and don't feel motivated to approach for days at a time. That either leads to tepid approaches, or fuck-it moments where I don't have the energy (or desire) to talk to a given chick. I still get lays, but I'm having to bust my ass more than before. Even if you try to attribute this to my own unique situation--and you probably can to some extent--you can't deny that realities on the ground are playing a part. For a while, I was attributing this to the effects of a colder winter in parts of North America, but this is seeming like the new normal. From my small sample, it doesn't seem like I'm alone in this general sentiment.
It's really getting to the point that the only way for a regular guy to get one of the remaining gems (and especially date up) is to have access to a closed fishbowl where he can work incremental social-circle game. Day and night games will always "work," but like a shrinking economy, a tightening dating market means lower yields at ballooning prices (time and effort).
The solution a lot of guys will throw out--and have been for a while--is to leave the country, but for those stuck in the U.S., I'd say understanding these realities is a start. I certainly don't think the think-positive-thoughts philosophy expounded by some forum members ("I banged a 19-year-old just the other day, so everything is fine!!!") changes the reality of the situation.