[Mr. Butterworth]

intimidated?.. indeed... she has "good girl" vibe for sure...

she also told me "I don't think I'm all that good in bed" .... this is after I told her that sex is a very important part of any kind of relationship..

anyway, I shall give that a go and see

[Mr. Butterworth]

haven't responded yet. sent her that first message at 822pm...

haven't responded because if I respond I will call her out for her BS...smh... bitches and their games

[svenski7]

Sven: "hey eva, what's up"
Eva: "At work"
Sven: "Fighter pilot, right?"
Eva: "Haha, close! I am manager at XXX business."

...straight to coffee date or more banter??

[Feo]

Lol...personally I would banter a bit more so you don't come off as desperate.

[Screwston]

Thanks sharkie. I texted "i miss you baby. Hope you didnt forget me". Her phone was turned off for a while.

[Travesty]

This is a 20 yo college girl, hot little blonde 8+ in my book, I direct day approached on campus a week and a half ago.

I called her up a few days later she answers and we plan on meeting a few days later. Stuff comes up, times don't match so we can't meet.

Last Thursday I text to hang out for tonight (Monday) and she responds:

G: "Sounds good"

Fast forward to Sunday:

T: "let's meet at XXX at5:45 tomorrow"

...no response

Today at 4:49pm:

G: "Hey Im sorry I have to cancel our plans tbh I just got out of a relationship last weekend and I don't think I'm ready to even go out with someone else so I just want to apologize"

What should I text next?

[pointbreak]

I think "dates", even if informal and still far from stereotypically-beta dinner dates, tend to freak IV chicks out. Teach them how to surf instead (I know you're still learning but you'll just be pushing them on a longboard, and they wouldn't be able to tell anyway). Even better if you have a jacuzzi at your place and you ca go back there with her after a cold session, but either way pick a spot near your house so you can go back there to shower afterwards. I think it just lowers the pressure on the girl, since the focus is on something else, she's not just going to some random dude's house, and anything that might happen afterwards becomes a "it just happened" sort of thing because in her mind she just meant to go surf with you (lol)

[Wahawahwah]

(11-17-2013 09:41 PM)houston Wrote:  

Thanks sharkie. I texted "i miss you baby. Hope you didnt forget me". Her phone was turned off for a while.

Holy shit. I hope you're being sarcastic about what you texted her.

[MrXY]

(11-18-2013 09:23 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

This is a 20 yo college girl, hot little blonde 8+ in my book, I direct day approached on campus a week and a half ago.

I called her up a few days later she answers and we plan on meeting a few days later. Stuff comes up, times don't match so we can't meet.

Last Thursday I text to hang out for tonight (Monday) and she responds:

G: "Sounds good"

Fast forward to Sunday:

T: "let's meet at XXX at5:45 tomorrow"

...no response

Today at 4:49pm:

G: "Hey Im sorry I have to cancel our plans tbh I just got out of a relationship last weekend and I don't think I'm ready to even go out with someone else so I just want to apologize"

What should I text next?

She's lying-she's not interested in seeing you and is dismissing you

So.. do whatever you want. Ignore it, send a text that amuses you, dick pic, whatever you want to do

[Feo]

(11-18-2013 10:40 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

(11-18-2013 09:23 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

This is a 20 yo college girl, hot little blonde 8+ in my book, I direct day approached on campus a week and a half ago.

I called her up a few days later she answers and we plan on meeting a few days later. Stuff comes up, times don't match so we can't meet.

Last Thursday I text to hang out for tonight (Monday) and she responds:

G: "Sounds good"

Fast forward to Sunday:

T: "let's meet at XXX at5:45 tomorrow"

...no response

Today at 4:49pm:

G: "Hey Im sorry I have to cancel our plans tbh I just got out of a relationship last weekend and I don't think I'm ready to even go out with someone else so I just want to apologize"

What should I text next?

She's lying-she's not interested in seeing you and is dismissing you

So.. do whatever you want. Ignore it, send a text that amuses you, dick pic, whatever you want to do

I don't agree with XY, could be salvageable..you don't know what's going through her head...why jump to a negative conclusion? Just shoot her "who said I wanted to date you?" and see if she bites

[cool]

Cute girl I matched with on Tinder. She is 12 years younger than me. I don't know where to go with this since I know nothing about her life. Should I go for whatsapp? This conversation was spaced out over two days.

Me: Hey
Her: Hi
Me: Are you in ****? I dunno if this app works
Her: Yes
Me: Cool im at ****
Me: Do you have a man?
Her: No
Me: Well do you want one
Her: haha well it'd be nice to have one, but I'm not in a rush

[Feo]

I don't know what other guys think..but I'd say you jumped in too fast with the relationship talk.. I'd banter a bit and show her you're normal and friendly...then turn the heat back on. I usually stay away from relationship talk even when joke.

[CJ]

Gonna try to get to a bunch of these at once.

(11-18-2013 10:35 PM)Sharkie Wrote:  

(11-17-2013 09:41 PM)houston Wrote:  

Thanks sharkie. I texted "i miss you baby. Hope you didnt forget me". Her phone was turned off for a while.

Holy shit. I hope you're being sarcastic about what you texted her.

Agreed, that sounds insanely needy.

(11-19-2013 07:15 PM)Feo Wrote:  

I don't know what other guys think..but I'd say you jumped in too fast with the relationship talk.. I'd banter a bit and show her you're normal and friendly...then turn the heat back on. I usually stay away from relationship talk even when joke.

Ya, I haven't used Tinder, but that sounds insanely fast to be trying to ask if she wants a man.

(11-17-2013 07:18 PM)svenski7 Wrote:  

Sven: "hey eva, what's up"
Eva: "At work"
Sven: "Fighter pilot, right?"
Eva: "Haha, close! I am manager at XXX business."

...straight to coffee date or more banter??

Depends on what sort of background you have with this girl. Have you hung out before? Did you just meet her at a bar?


And Mr Buttersworth, I'm guessing you already replied to your online chick, but in case you haven't, you're probably going to have to meet on her terms. If you have time for that, then I guess go for it, but I'd probably be spending my time working on other stuff.

(11-15-2013 11:11 AM)isildurrr Wrote:  

This text thread is strictly for cold approach right?

someone please confirm before i flip

No, I just made this for coming up with better texts to get girls over, then naked.

[Metzer]

Hi guys, been a lurker here for quite some time, finally made an account.

So i've made an account on OKC. Response rate (and even the general quality of girls in UK is bad).

Anyway i'm speaking to this one chick who has replied. Shows she's interested I guess by replying-how can I take this from here. Should I go straight for number or build more rapport. Never done this online dating before.


Me - Wow your list of countries is almost as good as mine!

Her - I know! Totally jealous...still time to add more to the list. Whats next on yours?

Me - Not sure, i get told ive been on too many.
Maybe vegas or thailand as ive never been there. What about you?

Her - you can never go away too often. Went vegas this summer was amazing. Would love to go to thailand but rio is next on my list :-)



Should i cut the small talk and go for the kill?

Cheers

[eradicator]

You will probably want to say this in British, but something along the lines, "OK, you seem cool, let's switch to text. What is your number? Mine is xxx-xxx-xxxx" She is clearly at least curious with you and should be open to more. Then set up some sort of date with her (drinks) and run game like you would on any other date.

You seem to have the gist of it.

[svenski7]

Feo Wrote:

Lol...personally I would banter a bit more so you don't come off as desperate.

Good advice, thanks.

CJ Wrote:

Depends on what sort of background you have with this girl. Have you hung out before? Did you just meet her at a bar?

Met her at Starbucks...went on a coffee date and she seems pretty sheltered and religious...

Here's how the text convo went:

Sven: do u have class 2morrow?
Eva: Yup, every day
Sven: Im doing magic tomorrow at 7 best show this side of the lake
Eva: I work til 10, sorry bud
Sven: ... [thanks Heartiste]
Eva: What??
Sven: bud?! imma send them gypsies 4 ya (inside joke from cold approach)
Eva: Oops! I'll hide
Sven: go to canada
Eva: I wish!
Sven: u wouldnt make it past january hahaha
Eva: that's probably true. unless i managed to hibernate by a fire all winter
Sven: that describes first 18 years of my life
Eva: really? not something you can get used to?
Sven: u ever see the northern lights? [dodged boring life in winter conversation]
Eva: No. You?
Sven: my grandmother told me the sky was red when i was born..was it a sign ?
Eva: Depends on what you believe in, i suppose [she doesn't believe in supernatural]
Sven: well, im convinced i was an ardvark in a former life...u?
Eva: oh yes, especially if u have a taste for insects
Sven: i g2g, lets meet tues [thought i read the apex so ejected and went for next meetup]
Eva: Ill be free between 2 and 6

We met but it felt pretty robotic...

[svenski7]

After kinda robotic coffee date without any KINO, struck up this followup convo:


Sven: whats up
Eva: heading home before work
Sven: lame. quit your job and come live off the land like me
Eva: So that's working out well for you?
Sven: its great i live in a van down by the river.
Eva: haha nice snl reference

...not even sure if its worth my time and effort

[eradicator]

Bear in mind, plenty of chicks will have sex almost right away despite the claim that that they are devoutly religious. You can try asking her out again, this time for an activity(hiking, beach, museum, cook her dinner, drinks at a bar- not another cafe), it basically depends on what she enjoys.

[Player_1337]

Had plans set with a girl for Friday night. Just got this text:

Her: Boo. My friends invited me to play (a drinking game) tomorrow. Can we hang out Saturday?

How would yall respond?

[Christian McQueen]

^Dont respond today.

Text her tmrw:

You: I have plans sat.

She'll text back some bullshit but don't respond. Hit her up next week Tues or Wed and setup plans again. If she flakes that time, then delete.

She had another option and flaked. Doesn't mean you won't get the bang, BUT you're a busy playboy and Sat night is PRIME night. Do not hang with her Sat. Your DHV will drop even more.

[MidniteSpecial]

(11-21-2013 08:55 PM)Player_1337 Wrote:  

Had plans set with a girl for Friday night. Just got this text:

Her: Boo. My friends invited me to play (a drinking game) tomorrow. Can we hang out Saturday?

How would yall respond?

Few options. Depends on how hot she is. What was your previous interactions. Etc.
but I would go with:

"No."

"Nah."

"Already have a Saturday girl."

"Maybe."

"Hit me Saturday and I'll see what I'm doing."

Or just don't respond at all.

[NovaVirtu]

Hey guys. Got this SA chick's (solid 8 in my book) number back in September. She was nice but shy. Texted back and forth, didn't go anywhere. She kept coming up with reasons why she couldn't meet so I just thought "f*ck it" and stopped talking to her.

A week ago out of nowhere, this same chick texts me around 7pm on a Friday. (note: English isn't her first language so I'm typing her texts ver batim)

Her: "Hola!"
Her: "How are you?"
Her: "Are you there?"

I'm busy, I don't respond until 5:21pm the next day

Me:"Wow look who it is"
Me:"Im good...been a long time. How are you?"

Her:"I'm fine! You're alive... "
Me: "Of course. I could say the same thing to you"
Her:"Haha...I know long time right? Hows everything going with you? "

blah blah, catching up.....I decide to cut to the chase:

Me: "Cool...well texting is nice but I prefer to talk in person. How about we meet up for a drink next week and catch up?"

No response. Around 8pm the next night I send:

Me:"So I guess you're disappearing again?"
Her(instantly): "Not"
Her: "I'm here"
Her:
Her: "Look I want ask you something"
Me: "Ask away"
Her: "Look this a kind crazy but here I go. what ur after?"
Me: "You seemed cool when we met and I'd like to get to know you better."
Her:"Well, let me say something. I can just offer you my friendship and nothing else. If you're agree can still talking or hang out sometimes."

'the f*uck?

I was already at my regular's place and I was kind of drunk so I ignored it for a while. She seemed to wary that I was trying to get in her pants so I decided to try going along with the idea:

Me:"I like your honesty. That sounds fine, always making new friends. I think we'll get along well"

It's been 3 days, have not heard back, and haven't reached out to her.

Did I screw something up here? I don't really care that much, but if this can be salvaged it is obviously a good thing, and if not I'd like to see what can be learned from it. Thanks

[Wahawahwah]

Sven: do u have class 2morrow?
Eva: Yup, every day
Sven: Im doing magic tomorrow at 7 best show this side of the lake

Came across as a little try hard.
1- She didnt ask you what you were doing...you asked (thats fine by itself).
2- The magic reference .. unsure if this works the same way where you live, so take it with a pinch of salt. Here, its usually the uber beta males who do magic to impress "the ladies". So if I say I'm a magician, its kinda a DLV, and I have to work harder to un-stereotype myself.. I'd hide and deny that until she was much more into me, and then use it as a means to build comfort through a little vulnerability. I get you, just.. say it if she asks you. Or do it more subtly.
3- Best show this side of the lake --- she didnt ask you what you were doing OR if you were any good at it, and you said it all in the same sentence.

Drop a trail of breadcrumbs for her to follow through the text conversation. Get her to wonder about you. Are you really the man she thought you are when she met you first? Is there another side to you that she hasnt found out yet? Get her wondering, don't give it all up in one sentence. Don't praise yourself unless you're obviously amplifying in a playful way or creating the aura of a fiendishly powerful man.

Eva: I work til 10, sorry bud
Attempt to betatize/stereotype you.
Sven: ... [thanks Heartiste]
good man!
Eva: What??

womyn confused. don't reply, or if you HAVE to,dont get defensive. become the irreverent cocky asshole you are

Sven: bud?! imma send them gypsies 4 ya (inside joke from cold approach)
dunno what the inside joke was but I laughed. good one.

Eva: Oops! I'll hide
Sven: go to canada
Eva: I wish!

Nice. She's suddenly gone from being *meh* to a slightly more playful mood. Double exclamations. You attempted to steal her frame with ellipsis and irreverence, and she's piqued.

Sven: u wouldnt make it past january hahaha
Eva: that's probably true. unless i managed to hibernate by a fire all winter
Sven: that describes first 18 years of my life
(good. you've dropped a breadcrumb)
Eva: really? not something you can get used to?
she's picked it up.
Sven: u ever see the northern lights? [dodged boring life in winter conversation]
NOOOOOO. MOAR BOAR WANTS MORE!!!! Abrupt change of direction number 1
Eva: No. You?
losing interest
Sven: my grandmother told me the sky was red when i was born..was it a sign ?
sounds like a rehearsed line. chink in your congruence. Had you segued that after "really?not something you can get used to?", it might have worked.
Eva: Depends on what you believe in, i suppose [she doesn't believe in supernatural]
gone is the playful vibe
Sven: well, im convinced i was an ardvark in a former life...u?
I understand people have low attention spans and there are so many interesting things to talk about in the world, but you're literally changing tack every 2 sentences. Thats cool if she's challenging you and you're avoiding falling into her frame, but in this case...
Eva: oh yes, especially if u have a taste for insects
shes got some brains and a sense of humor.
Sven: i g2g, lets meet tues [thought i read the apex so ejected and went for next meetup]
good u ejected. only thing -- immaculate spelling throughout the conversation, then suddenly g2g, tues..? minor incongruence
Eva: Ill be free between 2 and 6
"I guess I'll bite. But I set the frame. I got time between 2 and 6..."

If I were in your place, I'd suggest a time after 7. She say no? alright, meet another day. You've pretty much been playing in her frame here.

We met but it felt pretty robotic...
Yeah...


Next conversation --

Sven: whats up
How long after you met and why the fuck are you opening her after a robotic date
Eva: heading home before work
generic emotionless response. thats ok if shes tired or whatever, but your text should ideally cause a spike of emotion in her. isn't, bec she isnt that emotionally invested in you.
Sven: lame. quit your job and come live off the land like me
Why? Because you're lonely and need company? Note that you're saying this after a boring date. Appears try hard and desperate.
Eva: So that's working out well for you?
Challenge. Direct threat to what you posed. Womyn getting too arrogant. bash her down
Sven: its great i live in a van down by the river.
clever response, but weak reframe. on the edge of falling into her frame here.
Eva: haha nice snl reference
She's amused. I'll leave it to you to decide whether thats a good thing or not.

I think she IS worth your time and effort (assuming you find her attractive enough). You just need to avoid falling into her frame all the time.

Be borderline rude. Ignore her texts. Arrive late. She's sheltered and religious? Try converting her half heartedly to a satanic cult. Push the boundaries she puts on herself and you. Subtly. Sneakily. Boldly. Push them a little at first. When your alpha cred in her eyes increases, you can probably push harder. She wants to fall into your frame, but you have to do it right. Avoid the urge to appear clever all the time.

Maintain plausible deniability at all times.

[eradicator]

You let the texting back and forth go on too long and seem to have entrenched yourself as her orbiter. I would have called, you can get a lot more traction from calling than texting.

Quote:

Her:"Well, let me say something. I can just offer you my friendship and nothing else. If you're agree can still talking or hang out sometimes."

I would translate this as "I like the attention you give me and want to keep you as a beta orbiter. You can keep texting me and giving me the attention I crave without me having to do anything, Are you ok with that?"

And you agreed.

I would have said "I actually want a date with you, and see how that goes." But I would have called instead of texted that.

By letting the back and forth texting go on so long, you are basically stuck in purgatory. The best thing I can say is to chalk it up. Try to set up a date with her sooner and don't text back and forth.

edit, this was for novravirtue

[Wahawahwah]

(11-21-2013 10:24 PM)NovaVirtu Wrote:  

Her: "Look I want ask you something"
Me: "Ask away"
Her: "Look this a kind crazy but here I go. what ur after?"
Me: "You seemed cool when we met and I'd like to get to know you better."
Her:"Well, let me say something. I can just offer you my friendship and nothing else. If you're agree can still talking or hang out sometimes."[/b]

Me:"I like your honesty. That sounds fine, always making new friends. I think we'll get along well"

It's been 3 days, have not heard back, and haven't reached out to her.

Did I screw something up here? I don't really care that much, but if this can be salvaged it is obviously a good thing, and if not I'd like to see what can be learned from it. Thanks

Yeah.


Her: "Look I want ask you something"
Me: ok
Her: "Look this a kind crazy but here I go. what ur after?"
Me: you.
Her:"Well, let me say something. I can just offer you my friendship and nothing else. If you're agree can still talking or hang out sometimes."
Me:no

You screwed up precisely after this -

"Look this a kind crazy but here I go. what ur after?"
___Shes probably still not made her mind whether to friendzone you or not. looking for confirmation. Either reframe her question,or be direct. dont beat about the bush, dont offer the same cookie cutter answer every other guy asks her, dont be vague.

As opposed to this-
"You seemed cool when we met and I'd like to get to know you better."

Her:"Well, let me say something. I can just offer you my friendship and nothing else. If you're agree can still talking or hang out sometimes."
friendzoned. Nuke that bitch.

Me:"I like your honesty. That sounds fine, always making new friends. I think we'll get along well"
lying through your teeth, and she knows it.

Don't think it can be salvaged, atleast not for a while. I would suggest acting like she's dead to you.
Don't block her off FB/whatsapp/text etc. Just ignore her. If she comes up to talk to you, brush her off, eject as soon as an opportune moment appears. Don't talk shit about her or anything. Act like she has zero significance in your life.
The key is to do so without being butthurt. Maybe she'll wonder and come back,maybe you can push for the lay.
But there are thousands of girls in the world who you'd be attracted to. I suggest giving them a chance.