[bgbusiness]

I would say that I am extremely analytical when it comes to social interactions sometimes. This is not where I am paranoid and freaking me out, it's almost like I am just being myself and it's like driving a car where you are being analytical subconsciously and thinking about what's happening and where you are leading the interaction. (Think RSD Todd)

I get between 50~100 likes on my Facebook profile pic and have several social circles that I can delve into. I have over 500+ friends on my Facebook and would have more if I socialized more, but focusing more on school right now.
I am a senior in my huge university of 45k undergraduate student body and do recognize people all the time. I know more than 250+ students in my school and see some dudes when I go out to eat or get coffee many times. I just bring my girl around campus and use social proof like crazy and pre-selection over people that I know with a girl that I am banging.

People say that I am normal and I am fine although I do exhibit some edgy behaviors because of my "game personality"
I was the hardcore newbie in high school with virtually no friends, but have brought up myself to this point in 5 years.
However, there seem to be some weird behaviors from people that I honestly don't know how to react.

1. People will add me on FB, snapchat, get my phone number and then ask me to hang out with them and we have hung out couple times, but when I see them again in person, they just break eye contact and walk away.
They forgot who I am?
2. Girls that I have talked to before in person and also text messages going back and forth, sometimes even phone calls, but when they see me again, they just turn their body around so they are facing their back towards me.
(Happened to a girl that I got a number from the other day. I got her number from just talking to her randomly on campus.
I was with another chick that I banged recently, so I don't think I was being needy AT ALL. I was just going to say Hi, but she just turned around? wtf? Maybe she felt a huge rush of emotions after seeing me with a different chick?)
3. Girls that I have met from mutual friends (almost 10), they accepted my friend request on Facebook and I saw them again, they just break eye contact and look down. (They were looking at me first for several seconds and I felt their eyes looking at me, that's why I looked back at them, I am usually busy doing my school stuff and just speed walk around campus, so I don't really over-extend myself socially these days.)
I would say that this girl is religious, shy, and probably just submissive gesture?
4. When I asked two questions to a person over text and they just skip that question and only answer one questions, it bothers me and I usually ask them to answer that part of the text through text or in person when I see them again. This bothers me personally and makes me want to not associate myself to this person.

I am just super confused why people act like this way.
Maybe they have waved or said "Hi" to me before, but I didn't hear or saw them because I was busy doing my shit on campus? And now they don't want to say HI? I am not sure...

[YoungBlade]

If you like the person or they are useful, grab their attention and discuss something meaningful with them. Business, going out for drinks, whatever.

If they're useless or unpleasant, ignore them.

[King of Monkeys]

I think you're overanalyzing this shit way too much. There's just no way to explain all the subtle social behaviors of people because there's too large a margin for error.

I know people at work who seem to get along really well, but outside of work they don't really talk to each other or even hangout. In theory, they get along so well so they should be all buddy-buddy everywhere, right? Hell, the people you run into might be more socially awkward than you realize. They could be avoiding eye contact because they start thinking "what if I say something weird and he thinks I'm weird? oh fuck he's coming this way what do I d-" and before they can think of something they look away because they're trying to avoid coming off awkward (even though avoiding it is the more awkward thing to do most of the time).

The text thing with the two questions? They could be lazy and only feel like answering one. Or Maybe they can't think of an answer they like for one of the questions, so they ignore it. Perhaps they people you hang out with just didn't vibe that well with you. Sometimes you and another person just won't get along no matter what you do.

Maybe the question you should be asking is why all these things are getting to you. Does it make you feel like that guy you used to be five years ago when these things happen?

[Beirut]

It's hard to answer because we don't know whether you're seeing things that aren't there or whether your observations are right.

Considering that in all these incidents you never walked up and talked to any of them and got rejected or ignored, these signals may have been misinterpreted by you.

If not and you're routinely being ignored by people you've hung out substantially with then obviously you're doing something wrong during that time that you're not aware of.

Or you're just around a bunch of very weird people.

[bgbusiness]

(10-04-2017 08:51 PM)Beirut Wrote:  

It's hard to answer because we don't know whether you're seeing things that aren't there or whether your observations are right.

Considering that in all these incidents you never walked up and talked to any of them and got rejected or ignored, these signals may have been misinterpreted by you.

If not and you're routinely being ignored by people you've hung out substantially with then obviously you're doing something wrong during that time that you're not aware of.

Or you're just around a bunch of very weird people.

I would say definitely not always and most of the time doesn't happen.

I would say it's with people who are socially awkward and not my problem for the most part. Lol.

[Remington]

Unfortunately, in this day and age, many people lack social skills when met face to face. Smartphones are the thing responsible for creating this social gap.

People nowadays live through their phones. They'd rather take pictures of something and post to one of the social media outlets than enjoy it in person. That could be anything from a great view, a fun activity, or an everyday meal. They enjoy the rush of receiving "Likes" and "Followers" because it somehow validates their existence. The "pics or it didn't happen" phenomena has become way too literal.

Most people live behind a screen. You shouldn't think anything of it. They just lack the ability to communicate in real time in person.

[Noir]

You basically answered your question by describing yourself and then describing them.

You are the same person.

If you think you are judged by your likes on social media, then your idea of yourself is weak.

Most people's self esteem is rooted in others' idea of themselves than their own belief in themselves.

This is why people won't approach or say hi.

You see them, they see you. You're thinking "what an asshole, won't even come say hello"! Guess what- they are thinking the same thing.

Go burst their bubbles and say hi. Smile. Break through this.

University students are scared, because they are university students. Following the crowd, doing what everyone else is doing.

Think about how easy it is to lead them by just breaking this routine.

Disrupt them. Be the better person.

I don't take things personally; why should you?

She didn't respond to you? Doesn't make her a bad person. Was it bitchy? A bit. Does she acknowledge that and is ashamed? Probably hence she won't say anything.

If you make a good impression and reopen then most girls will bring this up when they are comfortable and vulnerable (guard down).

Don't read into it, just do your own thing and forget about what ifs and buts.

You see someone you know and you like them? Be a mate and say hi.

You see someone you know and don't like? Blank em.

Don't base your default behaviour towards people around how they interacted once or twice.

Consistently? Don't bother.



You cannot judge others by how you would judge yourself.

Same applies for social savviness, not everyone is socially comfortable. Even more so the like hoarding clique.

[Boojeah]

I think all the replies in this thread are good. Specifically, I liked what Noir said

I'm around the same age as you and I've made most of the same observations you have. Maybe I'm wrong but I intuit this may be more common with young people in the west who have grown up on the internet.

I would echo what others have said, there are a few moving parts here:

1. Smartphones, specifically for people our age have given us a convenient way to avoid dealing with our shyness and anxiety in social situations. Instead of having nothing to do but socialize, whenever anyone feels awkward or shy, they can simply look down at their phone to avoid the situation. Similar to how people use to do it with newspapers and magazines before phones. I.E You see someone deeply engrossed in a newspaper or magazine and you would assume they're busy and not looking to socialize, so you leave them alone.

Its a sort of social etiquette to not bother people who are reading. I've even seen recommendations to people with anxiety that included bringing a book to read so you could focus on something other than socializing and escape so you can collect yourself. Now, everyone has a device in their pocket that they can use to escape the world anytime and all the time. It's become a habit and even an addiction for some. I do believe this rise in behavioral addictions to social media and the internet have had an effect on our generations social development by not forcing people to learn how to be comfortable with those around them. Which I think is done by talking to them and relating to them.

2. Like Noir said, and even with the above point in mind, it's up to you to lead the interactions. Be confident in your own social skills, break down the barriers and be the first to act. People are timid and afraid of being judged, they like a person who seems to be free of that fear and is able to just talk with people. When you break the ice in a non-needy way, people tend to be cooler than you thought.

3. A lot of it has nothing to do with you and you're over thinking it. There could be a million reasons for someones social behavior that has nothing to do with you. Don't take it personally. Similar to women, try a few times to connect if you don't like them or you're not seeing the behavior you like then move on. Don't base how you feel about yourself on how others react to you.

[JohnGalt007]

I operate in business and game in the following manner.

I make my offer in a genuine and straight forward manner. Wait for a response and respond in kind. If there is no response I move on and next the situation / person. If they respond , my counter response will mirror theirs.

In this manner i dont waste my time on women whom arent serious or business deals that wont move to fruition.

If there is no response you have to understand that your best invesment of your energies is to walk away. You time is better spend prospecting for serious / sincere individuals whether women or for business.

Just my humble opinion , I may be wrong and am open to critique . That said, I think you will find the energy you re-invest not chasing dead-ends will pay dividends.

[cholula]

(10-06-2017 10:03 PM)JohnGalt007 Wrote:  

I operate in business and game in the following manner.

I make my offer in a genuine and straight forward manner. Wait for a response and respond in kind. If there is no response I move on and next the situation / person. If they respond , my counter response will mirror theirs.

In this manner i dont waste my time on women whom arent serious or business deals that wont move to fruition.

If there is no response you have to understand that your best invesment of your energies is to walk away. You time is better spend prospecting for serious / sincere individuals whether women or for business.

Just my humble opinion , I may be wrong and am open to critique . That said, I think you will find the energy you re-invest not chasing dead-ends will pay dividends.

I tend to do it that way as well. It's a way to screen out for people who are ready to engage at that moment. If they're ready to go then things move forward quickly. IT's based around an abundance mentality whereby you understand that there is always an opportunity out there that is perfect, it's just a matter of getting in front of it.

People tend to appreciate the directness as most people are not up front about their intentions. Even if it wasn't on their mind, they will at least engage and hear out the proprosal. Some need more convincing than others. But hey, a live negotiation is better than no negotiation.

One thing I've come to realize after experimenting with this style is that people are awkward as fuck and some people literally cannot cope with someone coming up and talking to them. If they're that awkward up front, it would likely take a shit load of work to get them to open up. Let their bible study group fix them for that. Aint my responsibility.

[SteezeySteve]

Interlooping the social media with real life creates this. These days some of the most well known kids aren't even all that great...they're just great at working social media and good with taking pictures of shit so people see their social media 'marketing' and like them. One local cat I know is the bonified scource for house parties,but being around him its not even like interacting with a real human being who knows how to speak english...its all references to social media sayings,weak music thats popular these days,jokes that aren't even funny and the like. Has plenty of friends etc,but not nothing about him is interesting,he has 0 charisma. I respect somebody for marketing their 'oh so cool' life on social media well and being able to take advantage of that,but you gotta see things for what they are.
You kind of remind me of that guy. I may disagree with the existence of it ,but it is what it is these days.

Social media and real life are two different worlds. Some people might work it well but are just so concerned with social media bs. I'd suspect OP could be someone like this if he has people hitting him up on social media all the time to hangout,or do this etc. Social media dorkism is like a virus cured only by absolving yourself from it. RSD is a dork. The amount of likes and friends you have on facebook just means you're good at facebook marketing....this is not a telling factor of your social prowess or dope life style. ( I think its gay but will admit it is an in demand skill you can use to make money )

[ksbms]

(10-05-2017 07:01 AM)Remington Wrote:  

Unfortunately, in this day and age, many people lack social skills when met face to face. Smartphones are the thing responsible for creating this social gap.

People nowadays live through their phones. They'd rather take pictures of something and post to one of the social media outlets than enjoy it in person. That could be anything from a great view, a fun activity, or an everyday meal. They enjoy the rush of receiving "Likes" and "Followers" because it somehow validates their existence. The "pics or it didn't happen" phenomena has become way too literal.

Most people live behind a screen. You shouldn't think anything of it. They just lack the ability to communicate in real time in person.

True that. In the past I would think it was me that the girl was awkward but more and more I see some girls just don't know how to respond, let alone flirt. The thing with likes and followers, etc. is a simple Skinnerian operant conditioning and reinforcement at work.