[griffinmill]

Another entry into the Why I'm Done With On-line Game Diaries. Received these texts after a first date last night. The "awkward hug" is an in-joke as it was something we talked about as to how most first dates end. Anyhow -



I waited about 12 hours before responding. But guess what? Yep, radio silence. I'm certainly not being as aggressive during dates as I once was, and this is what is happening to me about 90% of the time now. Good dates as evident by good post-date texts, and then nothing. It happens like clockwork, and is extremely frustrating. This particular girl is 31, and I had promised never to go over 30 again - I've had some second dates recently with girls in their mid-20s. Regardless of age, on the dates they're all sparkly-eyed... the love bubble bursts quick though.

[BadgerHut]

(01-11-2016 01:40 PM)griffinmill Wrote:  

Another entry into the Why I'm Done With On-line Game Diaries. Received these texts after a first date last night. The "awkward hug" is an in-joke as it was something we talked about as to how most first dates end. Anyhow -



I waited about 12 hours before responding. But guess what? Yep, radio silence. I'm certainly not being as aggressive during dates as I once was, and this is what is happening to me about 90% of the time now. Good dates as evident by good post-date texts, and then nothing. It happens like clockwork, and is extremely frustrating.

That's a bitch, yeah, we've all been through it. However this might have benefitted from an earlier response. A few things to think about:

First, she sent that text after midnight - chicks aren't thinking straight late at night, often will change their minds after they sleep. BUT, that's when they often get lonely and/or horny and reach for whatever guy is foremost in their minds. Getting late-night texts is such an old game tell that it's a cliche. Esp after a first date, she's slotting you in as a potential lover.

Second, I think the game protocol of long waits on responses (to show lack of eagerness or whatever) is a thing of the past. Attention spans are lower these days, especially amongst girl, and the proliferation of smartphones means she has access to new guys from where she's sitting at the bar/club/cafe/friend's apartment or wherever. Now I assume if I don't reply in an hour or two she'll forget about it and move on to new stimulations. Think in an alpha frame - if you want to text her, you'll text her, don't get concerned about how long you have to wait.

Third, if a girl is commenting on your attractiveness, or saying she had "fun," especially soon after the date you should respond in kind and keep the emotion going. Text banter is the pavement of the game today.

[griffinmill]

(01-11-2016 01:56 PM)BadgerHut Wrote:  

(01-11-2016 01:40 PM)griffinmill Wrote:  

Another entry into the Why I'm Done With On-line Game Diaries. Received these texts after a first date last night. The "awkward hug" is an in-joke as it was something we talked about as to how most first dates end. Anyhow -



I waited about 12 hours before responding. But guess what? Yep, radio silence. I'm certainly not being as aggressive during dates as I once was, and this is what is happening to me about 90% of the time now. Good dates as evident by good post-date texts, and then nothing. It happens like clockwork, and is extremely frustrating.

That's a bitch, yeah, we've all been through it. However this might have benefitted from an earlier response. A few things to think about:

First, she sent that text after midnight - chicks aren't thinking straight late at night, often will change their minds after they sleep. BUT, that's when they often get lonely and/or horny and reach for whatever guy is foremost in their minds. Getting late-night texts is such an old game tell that it's a cliche. Esp after a first date, she's slotting you in as a potential lover.

Second, I think the game protocol of long waits on responses (to show lack of eagerness or whatever) is a thing of the past. Attention spans are lower these days, especially amongst girl, and the proliferation of smartphones means she has access to new guys from where she's sitting at the bar/club/cafe/friend's apartment or wherever. Now I assume if I don't reply in an hour or two she'll forget about it and move on to new stimulations. Think in an alpha frame - if you want to text her, you'll text her, don't get concerned about how long you have to wait.

Third, if a girl is commenting on your attractiveness, or saying she had "fun," especially soon after the date you should respond in kind and keep the emotion going. Text banter is the pavement of the game today.

Thanks for the response. All your points make sound sense. I'll not wait that long again to text a reply. The texts she sent were about an hour after we had met. I never responded to the first one and she re-initiated after midnight. I didn't respond because, yep, I was wanting to show non-eagerness.

Would it be beneficial to try hitting this one up again, you think?

[OregonToSoCal]

Next time don't send ANY post date texts for at least 3-4 days unless she contacts you first. At the end of the date say something to the effect of "I had fun" (if you really did) and don't promise you'll contact her, or ask her to go out again. You want her to be wondering where she stands with you. By her starting to obsess over this her attraction will naturally grow.

If she contacts you at any point after the date (before you contact her 3-4 days later) assume that she's indirectly saying "hey, take the hint and ask me out again!" and quickly set up the second date.

[robreke]

Second dates with girls, with what I consider 8's and higher are indeed dead with American girls for me.

I've had several first dates with them go well over the 2 months. Some texted later that that night they had a great time and couldn't wait to do it again. Several never texted nor responded to my texts post date. Whether they did or not, I never saw them again. No 2nd dates.

What finally got me to just shake my head was a 25 year old blonde yoga teacher I dated this week. She was stunning. Touching my hand, eye contact, smiling. We got along good. There were a few moments of slow conversation here and there, but they were very rare, most of our conversation was lively with on off touching. I tried to suggest home but she claimed she had to work early the next morning, so I walked her to her car. She said "I certainly hope to see you again" I told her absolutely. Got a good hug and kiss. No making out.

Waited 2 days and just said fuck it I feel like texting this girl. "Hey Taylor, had a good time friday. how was the rest of your weekend."

You guessed it. Nothing but silence.

Other girls:

*An attractive 29 year old I'd been flirting with for months at the drug store. Finally got the date. No return text after.
* Good looking barre teacher I direct approached at the grocery. Decent kino, kiss at the end, fun time together. No return a few days later.
* Stunning 22 year old college girl. Brunette , blue eyes. Had wine, almost got her back to my hotel room. She balked and started saying let's make plans for that weekend. We did and told her I'd follow up with texts. Passionate kiss good night. She texts 30 minutes after date she had a great time. We texted on and off for weeks but couldn't get her out.

It's at the point that when I'm dropping the girl off at her car, kissing her good night and "seeing her off" after our first date ( where no bang happened). I just say "Bye (their name)" because I pretty much know I'm not going to see them again. It's kind of sad sometimes, especially when I've seen a good connection with the girl and we had a good time and I know I'd like to see them again.

I don't think it's a defeatist attitude. I am positive and fun on dates. Joking with them, etc. And I do want to see them again. It's just, the girls won't let it happen.

As a disclaimer, I'm in a big US city so the competition is tough. I also do alot of online game, but as I mentioned, day game dates aren't getting second look-sees either. I think you pretty much have to be a jacked up celebrity, or at the very least, have much better date game than myself, to consistently get second dates.

I'm going to take a hard look at my date game too, because, I know it's not only the girls to blame ( however, I believe it probably is mostly these westernized girls to blame). But I do know, the kind of dates I'm doing now, when I did them years ago, always resulted in second and more dates. Girls just gave a guy more chances. Today they don't. It's a bit ridiculous.

I'm getting bangs, just no second dates. Some of the girls I bang, I try to get out and see again. Some I don't try. Some will meet again and some won't. For girls I don't bang on the first date, as I explained, there is no second date.

The high quality girls (8's and up) are much harder to get the first date bang out of. For me at least, in a large US city, f you don't get the first date bang, odds are you won't see them again.

I'll continue to plough away and try to improve. In the meantime, I'll keep brushing up on my Russian skills.

[thoughtgypsy]

(01-12-2016 07:58 PM)robreke Wrote:  

I'll continue to plough away and try to improve. In the meantime, I'll keep brushing up on my Russian skills.

I know exactly how you feel! Thanks for confirming for me

Quote:

Sure, it is safe and clean back home, but it's just not the same. When you go back home and are faced with a culture where seduction is best described as psychological warfare rather than forming an emotional bond, you will remember all those warm, hot, happy Pinays.

[General Stalin]

(01-12-2016 07:58 PM)robreke Wrote:  

It's at the point that when I'm dropping the girl off at her car, kissing her good night and "seeing her off" after our first date ( where no bang happened). I just say "Bye (their name)" because I pretty much know I'm not going to see them again. It's kind of sad sometimes, especially when I've seen a good connection with the girl and we had a good time and I know I'd like to see them again.

This image right here is so bleak yet so relatable.

[262]

Reading posts like robreke's reminds me why I left the West.

On the second date being dead, at least in the West - maybe that's also why guys there don't think banging on the first date excludes a girl from being LTR material.

[Mujeriego]

On the subject of post date texts I'm going to suggest not sending any her way. If she had a good time she'll hit you up.

[Vincent Chase]

I've had a very similar experiences to robreke in last couple of years and imagine many men in the big western cities have.

The last couple of girls I've had a relationship with I've banged on the first date, one from university and one from online. I don't judge them for it, I actually respect them for being intelligent enough to be with me.

I've truly met some supposedly quality girls who some would text afterwards that they'd like to see me again, some would even initiate another get together and then flake on it and go completely silent. Do they act like they are cognitively impaired/don't know what they are doing/don't know where they even are? Absolutely.

I just find western girls in general to be more and more vindictive and spiteful, add the attention spans of flies to the mix and it's a pretty toxic cocktail we are dealing with. The more you go particularly on online and day game dates where there is little social comfort level from her part the more you see the raw modern woman. Women absolutely torture men in the dating market, imagine how bad it is for the average man who can't get an online bang or not know what daygame is. Many on this forum are well above the curve. Modern game is far from simple.

It is at this point that it's go big or go home.

Don't kiss her -> In her mind "no attraction".
Kiss her -> She got validated and in her head "not sure"/"I don't know".
Bang her -> "It just happened"/"he swept me off my feet".

Whatever is in front of her at any moment is her reality. If you don't bang her it only takes one guy or two to hit her up and scramble Her RAS. She'll forget you in no time.

(As a side note I completely agree to never text a girl after first date unless you banged her. If she wants you she'll contact you, from experience she has a good chance of flaking later anyway though.)

In the big cities get a first day bang and maybe have a 50% chance she'll want to see you again. Otherwise you might as well go farm 10 more phone numbers you will very likely never see her again.

For online/day game dates the world truly ends at midnight.

[griffinmill]

I'm in Ireland and it's really quite amazing how relatable all of these posts are. Women all over the world it seems are behaving in the same ways, generally speaking.

Vincent mentioned cognitive impairment and I would have to agree with that. I've mentioned this before, but post-date flaking and ghosting has increased tenfold over the past few years. But what grinds my gears are the girls texting after the date telling me how charming/handsome/attractive I am, only for them to flake on the next meet, or go silent the VERY NEXT DAY.

I had one writing ebullient texts to me the night she got home, about how turned on she was, about how she couldn't wait to see me again. She of course flaked, but for the first time with one of these chicks I asked her what was holding her back, why she was refusing to meet me. I was genuinely interested in the psychology and hamsterising that was going on.

Her response: "We had too much of a connection and it scared me". That is literally what she said. This is the kind of irrationality we're faced with.

I'm so absolutely cynical now that I cannot be bothered texting them when they're blowing up my phone every two minutes pre-first date. Not to say I don't have success when my logistics are set, but I witness so much irrational and downright bizarre behaviour that it infuriates me to no end .

As a side note, I have friends who don't even get a first date from online or day game - ever. They try, but simply don't cut it.

[Comte De St. Germain]

(09-04-2012 04:51 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

This is why I try to date simple girls, small town girls, traditional girls, foreign girls, country girls, working class girls, hippie chicks, natural girls, pot smokers, rebels, girls with small social circles, girls who haven't found their niche yet, girls not big on facebook, "sigmas", etc.

The less plugged into modern society they are, the less distractions I have to compete against.

Many of my bangs come on 2nd/3rd dates.

Damn I'm seeing a lot of oldie gems from the bumped threads but to add on to the above and responding to Robreke.

It's the weirdos, the pseudo philosophers, the girls into psychedelics, artsy, small town, edgy rebels wearing all black with a leather jacket(80s styled), Buddhist yoga chicks, cigarette smokers, hippies, and any others I missed that are the best bets for guys sticking it out here. Smoking is honestly more popular than ever and I haven't met a landwhale that smokes yet.

Social circle is always good fun and all as well as the best ROI, but in all honesty in terms of cold approaches the societal rebels like the above are your best bet otherwise. It's becoming more and more common among the younger generation to hate this plugged in lifestyle(while moaning about it on their social media....oh the hypocrisy).

Among this rising trend are the girls who want something serious as the only confident men are the ones whom take part in this trend(unintentionally aligned with manosphere beliefs). Seriously the only alphas left are the ones whom don't go on social media that much and only do so to post things they are doing(lifting, hiking, travelling, etc.) among the current 18-22 year olds.

It's all about shifting your game to places that house these kinds of people and gaming there as the pendulum is shifting back in regards to what kind of ideals people claim to follow. It was edgy back in the day to be an edgy feminist twat and now it's edgy to be not so things will soon be heading in that direction.

(01-13-2016 06:51 PM)Mujeriego Wrote:  

On the subject of post date texts I'm going to suggest not sending any her way. If she had a good time she'll hit you up.

A lot of truth in this post here too. If women want to see you again they will text you of their own accord each and every time.

[Chetthebaker]

I learned this the hard way when I started dating again after getting divorced a couple years ago. Make-outs, hooking up, and then nothing. Then I had to learn it again a year or so later after getting out of another relationship.
So I automated. Every date at the exact same place, same booth (in a corner, for touching), 2 blocks from my place, 1 drink, and then I say "let's get out of here." Don't even say where we're going. All because I know their will be no second date.

10-11 years ago I was so clueless I didn't even know how to end a date, and I'd still get another shot.

Last month I got an easy # off Tinder from an Asian chick. A bit thick, not above a 6- but she seemed pleasant, sweet, and easy to deal with, and since I wasn't hard up with the rotation I decided on a little experiment given that I wasn't even sure I wanted to bang her.
Instead of my standard first date bang routine, I took her to a weird music thing. Presented it as a challenge, like "I don't know if you'll dig this."
She bit, ended up digging it, and even ponied up for her $30 ticket without me even saying anything. Afterwards we went for a drink, and I gave her a ride home (like 5 minutes). I didn't try to get into her place or even go for a kiss. It was a much more pleasant low pressure experience.

She texted me as I was getting home, and also over the holidays, and I'd say I could probably get her back out if/when I try. But I haven't.
I guess I'm just not attracted enough. It's easy to project ZFG in this kind of situation. And it's working. But I know if it was a chick I was really into it really wouldn't be like this.

If there's no 2nd date it'll probably be because of me, not her. Kinda shitty that I'm doing to her what cuter girls do to us.

[PapayaTapper]

(01-13-2016 10:58 PM)Chetthebaker Wrote:  

I learned this the hard way when I started dating again after getting divorced a couple years ago. Make-outs, hooking up, and then nothing. Then I had to learn it again a year or so later after getting out of another relationship.
So I automated. Every date at the exact same place, same booth (in a corner, for touching), 2 blocks from my place, 1 drink, and then I say "let's get out of here." Don't even say where we're going. All because I know their will be no second date.

10-11 years ago I was so clueless I didn't even know how to end a date, and I'd still get another shot.

Last month I got an easy # off Tinder from an Asian chick. A bit thick, not above a 6- but she seemed pleasant, sweet, and easy to deal with, and since I wasn't hard up with the rotation I decided on a little experiment given that I wasn't even sure I wanted to bang her.
Instead of my standard first date bang routine, I took her to a weird music thing. Presented it as a challenge, like "I don't know if you'll dig this."
She bit, ended up digging it, and even ponied up for her $30 ticket without me even saying anything. Afterwards we went for a drink, and I gave her a ride home (like 5 minutes). I didn't try to get into her place or even go for a kiss. It was a much more pleasant low pressure experience.

She texted me as I was getting home, and also over the holidays, and I'd say I could probably get her back out if/when I try. But I haven't.
I guess I'm just not attracted enough. It's easy to project ZFG in this kind of situation. And it's working. But I know if it was a chick I was really into it really wouldn't be like this.

If there's no 2nd date it'll probably be because of me, not her. Kinda shitty that I'm doing to her what cuter girls do to us.

Independently proven over and over again...

"The power in a relationship lies with whoever cares less"-Uncle Wayne

[Suits]

(01-13-2016 11:09 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

Independently proven over and over again...

"The power in a relationship lies with whoever cares less"-Uncle Wayne

The first half of that movie is great.

[straightarrow]

Omg buy that man a drink.

[Vill@in]

Bumping this as it is only getting worse.

If you don't bang her on the first date, your flake rate goes up 90%. And even if you get lucky and DO secure a second date, you almost have to work twice as hard to secure the bang.

Strike while the iron is hot.

[DJ-Matt]

Jesus Christ isn't banned anymore, interesting! HE IS RISEN!

[Sam Malone]

Edit: wrong thread

[RatInTheWoods]

This comes down to the type of woman you are "dating".

If you are chasing slutty women, then bang or lose out first date.

Some women need 2-4 dates before they bang, ie "three date kates".

I prefer these types of women, so second dates for me are the norm.

If you push too hard or are too agressive with these women, you won't get the second date.

[Mess O.]

^^ I'm with that.

[churros]

(08-03-2017 03:57 PM)Vill@in Wrote:  

Bumping this as it is only getting worse.

If you don't bang her on the first date, your flake rate goes up 90%. And even if you get lucky and DO secure a second date, you almost have to work twice as hard to secure the bang.

Strike while the iron is hot.

This kills me, as I rarely enjoy the bang under pressure. I'd actually prefer to bang second or third dates. But I know you have to perform or you're not getting another chance. It's sad.

[Player_1337]

I've banged a lot of girls over the last year, but it feels like securing a second date is a total crapshoot. Doesn't matter if it was a weak/strong date or we banged like rabbits. Been a deflating and cynicism inspiring experience. Was hoping this was something I could improve upon seeing as I've been in the game/a member of the forum for a few years now.

The worst part is it's hard to learn from the interactions and be constructive. You often don't know if it's something you did, the girl just being crazy/rejecting herself or simply due to her myriad of options (especially online prospects).