[jselysianeagle]

(06-05-2018 09:38 PM)Rocha Wrote:  

I have met plenty of still stunning women at 34, and know that there is plenty of warpigs in early 20s...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you usually fish in Russia/Ukraine/EE in general?

In the big cities of the US like LA/NYC, you do find attractive women even in their 30s, but I certainly wouldn't say there's "plenty" of them around.

As an aside - it's definitely interesting that the consensus on this thread, even on a forum geared towards getting laid as much as possible, is to take it slow, often 2+ dates. That's a notable divergence from the usual advice and speculation that's geared towards getting down as quickly as possible...

[Mess O.]

(06-05-2018 11:52 PM)questor70 Wrote:  

I used to suffer these questions, but I think I've figured this one out.

There's a difference between enjoying the feeling of making out in general (or even having sex) and a very directed pair-bonding impulse towards you in particular.

Always remember that push comes to shove women will just close their eyes and rub their pussy or stick an inanimate dildo in themselves to get off. There is no sentimentality for her fingers or her dildo. It's merely a means to an end and she's usually conjuring up some fantasy in her head to complement the stimulation. That is a HUGE component behind the dating impulse for both genders. Women try to make it seem as though it's all about romance, but it's very much a pursuit of generic "pleasure" which is why it's associated with alcohol and blowing off steam on the weekends. Think of it like mutual masturbation or exchanging back-massages.

When the feelings are weak, the guy she's screwing around with is special only insofar as he meets the minimum level of physical attraction and she feels safe being touched by him. I used to think even this was some huge deal, but it's really not. Women can be surprisingly trusting in a way that seems positively foolhardy.

So I've had to work hard to untrain myself from feeling as though a woman allowing me to make out with her (or beyond) indicates she really likes me in particular as a person. It means I'm better than a perfect stranger but that's about it.

Sucks.

[Dalaran1991]

(06-06-2018 12:11 AM)jselysianeagle Wrote:  

As an aside - it's definitely interesting that the consensus on this thread, even on a forum geared towards getting laid as much as possible, is to take it slow, often 2+ dates. That's a notable divergence from the usual advice and speculation that's geared towards getting down as quickly as possible...

No it's not. It's just that OP's situation demands recalibration. People giving advice here are trying to make the most out of a bad situation. The date is not set up correctly, the mindset is all over the place, the escalation is off and the girl is not made ready. The one good thing is he got to make out, better than nothing.

If you go to Hank's 3 dates method thread you will see that most people here trash any method that requires more than 2 dates. Even people who dont mind doing several dates still aim for the bang first date if possible. Not saying Hank's method doesnt work, just that on RVF it's either first date bang or no date bang.

[yang2287]

Probably Jekkyll and Hyde case

Read up here OP

thread-51179.html

you need to be congruent in communicating you are a player and want sex ASAP

you should not play Mr nice guy and then try to sexualize

[Parlay44]

Bitch I’m just looking to fuck. Don’t waste my time.

[Rocha]

(06-06-2018 12:11 AM)jselysianeagle Wrote:  

(06-05-2018 09:38 PM)Rocha Wrote:  

I have met plenty of still stunning women at 34, and know that there is plenty of warpigs in early 20s...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you usually fish in Russia/Ukraine/EE in general?

In the big cities of the US like LA/NYC, you do find attractive women even in their 30s, but I certainly wouldn't say there's "plenty" of them around.

As an aside - it's definitely interesting that the consensus on this thread, even on a forum geared towards getting laid as much as possible, is to take it slow, often 2+ dates. That's a notable divergence from the usual advice and speculation that's geared towards getting down as quickly as possible...

I Live in a touristic city, and nowadays I fish everywhere and from every nation available, but yeah the principal dishes are EE and latina (mostly Brazilian).

Regarding taking it slow or fast...It is the usage of a model/method that I criticize, as grown and experienced men we should be able to quickly identify who is DTF or who is going to require a little bit more of work.

[Mess O.]

I know, the tone and calibration were out of it. By the end of the date, even though we seemed to really connect in the conversation and personality arenas, I was figuring she was having none of it - and this is what I've become so accustomed to - but when she practically attacked my face, I just went along with it.

[MaxMillion]

(06-03-2018 08:54 PM)Mess O. Wrote:  

I had a lot of that in mind with this deal, I really did. I had a very similar date a few days previously, and ended it in that exact, genteel method you recommended . . . and I never heard from her again, so this time I was like,"hell with it, do what you feel like right then". And also, why didn't she just leave? I left it way open for her to take off, but she went along with this marathon, only to lay that shit on me through the phone.

Or, maybe she wasn't grabbed like that in a really long time and was just simply horny.

I certainly wouldn't give up. For every one of these gals, the next is a keeper - at least to hold you over for a couple of months.

Be done with the "analysis". That's what tires you out.

[oilbreh]

Keep first dates short. Best avoid making out, never had that backfire on me. If anything get them to a make out spot but don't make out. Really gets their hamster spinning if you came across as confident.

[Mess O.]

I'll go for that type of format next time around.

[ksbms]

(06-06-2018 01:25 PM)oilbreh Wrote:  

[...] Best avoid making out, never had that backfire on me. If anything get them to a make out spot but don't make out. [...]

Not making out always backfired on me. Either I haven't seen a girl again or it took more dates. A man not making a move on a girl is seen by them as a weak man. Kissing is part of the game.

[oilbreh]

^^ I keep the first date with any girl off the internet short. As long as I can tell she digs my vibe, we have a few inside jokes developed I bounce. Maybe walk to our cars to get some kino in, pinch her ass, have her pretend to be mad and slap me. Much better set up imo then some make out session which some girls take to seriously and gives nothing to me. They got all kinds of "does he think im too easy".. "didnt feel a spark during" crap going on in their head. Keep the make out for right before you say lets grab a cab imo.

[wonderman]

Your story reminded me on so many similar experiences I had. But remember, it can always be worse, e.g. a few stories of me:

First date, we went to the thermal bath. I took her to the solarium room, kissed her like a wild monkey, but all of a sudden, she looked at me and said, in a very calm voice, "sorry, but I don't feel anything, I'm not attracted by you". That was hard.

Another girl. We had sex. I had my orgasm. She stood up and said I should delete her number (she meant it like that, and walked away).

Another girl. She was in my bed, we were kissing. She said she can't kiss me anymore. I asked why. She said "because you stink out of your mouth, sorry for being so honest". That was hard.

About 200 other girls. Kissing on the first date. They told me they are looking forward to seeing me again. It never happened.

This is the reality. Most persons on this planet have no idea why they feel like they feel. All those girls, especially the younger ones, they live almost on autopilot (intuition). I asked about 300-500 girls (over the last 20 years) about why they are not interested in me. I only got a handful answers. Most girls either don't give any feedback at all, or the feedback is useless, because they are simply not aware of the deeper root causes.

So don't feel bad, it really happens to all of us. There is no strategy to avoid those situations. Think about the good stuff: you experience situations most guys not even dream of.

[Diop]

Re-read this thread just now and I have a question about something (somewhat related) - For first dates/meetings from online or dating apps, do any of you set a strict time limit in advance for how much time you'll spend with the girl, or do you just go with the flow?

I have always done the latter to maintain flexibility and keep all possibilities open, but I'm starting to think a hard rule of only one drink or 30 minutes maximum or something similar may be the way to go. The last few times I've had a (failed) first date/meeting, the conversation was very good including kino, lots of laughter, and even a kiss close in the most recent instance. However, as you can guess from this thread, radio silence followed or in one case a "didn't feel a connection" text came a few days later.

Sure it can be frustrating or disappointing, but that's not what really gets under my skin. In each instance the girl was the one who seemed to prolong the date and ask questions, keep the conversation going, etc. and in most cases they weren't even interested in drinking more than the one round I bought them so I don't think they were faking interest for free drinks or food. What grinds my gears the most is that, if they weren't very interested or "didn't feel the connection" or whatever, why not just cut it short after we finish our round? Why do we have to waste time "getting to know each other" longer than a round if we know we'll never see each other again? Perhaps it's a form of entertainment or an ego boost for them?

I suppose it's possible Mr. Thundercock contacted them or they changed their mind about a second date shortly after our meeting, but at this point I'm thinking that I should limit these first meetings time-wise to avoid two hours of wasted time like I've been experiencing lately from these apps. Does anyone else do this?

And yes, it's absolutely time to step up my approaches and day game.

[ksbms]

(06-05-2018 09:28 PM)Mess O. Wrote:  

I still keep trying to get my mind around why she went along with the finale, so thoroughly and so passionately. Why not just get the fuck in her car and take off, if she "wasn't feeling it"?

She was feeling it, at that very moment. Have you watched football fans, after their team scored a winner? They look as if they were about to explode, with their sweaty foreheads, red faces, chanting, jumping up and down like monkeys, thumping their chests and screaming. They were feeling it, they were in the moment.

Metaphorically or, conceptually, Krauser explains it as a forebrain and hindbrain conflict (there's a long-winded, complex and fascinating story to be told regarding this but it would take a few books and a full semester of studying psychology just to get to grips with what goes on "under the hood"). The rational brain struggles with emotional. You were almost there, but she snapped out of it, end of story. Your goal is to override the rational decision maker and sweep her along. Had you start ramping up kissing early, escalate physically, perhaps you wouldn't have to write this post up.

Or she just texted you what she texted (never listen to a woman) to extricate herself for whatever reason - don't think you were the only guy she met up with - and her message was a polite telling you "I just prefer another guy", which is quite likely.

[ksbms]

(06-05-2018 10:48 PM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  

The way I'm viewing chicks at the moment is as hateful people looking for any chance to harm people if they can get an opening.

Dating life just started making sense to me.

And all the nurses working in hospitals and hospices are just looking to kill their patients?

Dude, I don't know what a woman (or women) did to you but it is a dangerous and sweeping generalisation of the worst kind to develop a believe al women are hateful people. Logically, it isn't the case, for you've never interacted with that many women, to start. Second, evolutionarily it wouldn't make sense, for it would significantly decrease women's chance of survival, especially with an offspring(s). Third, you assume beliefs and behaviour are purely congenital property - they are not.

For whatever reason, you've developed an all-encompassing confirmation bias, memory bias and interpret interactions with women selectively. That is not to say there aren't women that are bad news. But it is the same with men. A simple test can show that on average, men are just as, if not more, problematic than women if you'll look at statistic regarding crimes and the sex ratios serving prison terms.

[Dragan]

I wouldn't worry too much man. At least you're getting dates and escalating. Just keep going at it. I'm still pretty new to game, and I'm just struggling with girls flaking trying to set up dates.

[Mess O.]

@ Diop - typically, my dates go from 40 mins. to 2 hrs.

[Mess O.]

(06-14-2018 05:12 AM)ksbms Wrote:  

(06-05-2018 09:28 PM)Mess O. Wrote:  

I still keep trying to get my mind around why she went along with the finale, so thoroughly and so passionately. Why not just get the fuck in her car and take off, if she "wasn't feeling it"?

She was feeling it, at that very moment. Have you watched football fans, after their team scored a winner? They look as if they were about to explode, with their sweaty foreheads, red faces, chanting, jumping up and down like monkeys, thumping their chests and screaming. They were feeling it, they were in the moment.

Metaphorically or, conceptually, Krauser explains it as a forebrain and hindbrain conflict (there's a long-winded, complex and fascinating story to be told regarding this but it would take a few books and a full semester of studying psychology just to get to grips with what goes on "under the hood"). The rational brain struggles with emotional. You were almost there, but she snapped out of it, end of story. Your goal is to override the rational decision maker and sweep her along. Had you start ramping up kissing early, escalate physically, perhaps you wouldn't have to write this post up.

Or she just texted you what she texted (never listen to a woman) to extricate herself for whatever reason - don't think you were the only guy she met up with - and her message was a polite telling you "I just prefer another guy", which is quite likely.

I agree, and I'm a pretty avid reader of Krauser's work. It's great when I log onto the damn OKC and find these chicks right back online - probably logged back into her profile before she even started her car up to leave our date.

[Diop]

(06-14-2018 11:10 AM)Mess O. Wrote:  

@ Diop - typically, my dates go from 40 mins. to 2 hrs.

Maybe we should try keeping them short, to just one drink for first meetings?

That's the thing with these apps. Too many times the initial meeting/date has gone on for awhile but led to nothing so I'm at the point where I'd rather just have a quick meetup to get that out of the way (make sure they look like their pictures, have some semblance of a personality, etc.) and also screen them for a second date based on that. Then, if/when there's a second date, put more time and effort into it. Right now the ROI of these first meetings isn't making a lot of sense.

[Mess O.]

(06-14-2018 11:40 AM)Diop Wrote:  

Right now the ROI of these first meetings isn't making a lot of sense.

It certainly isn't. As far as starting the contact through the site, I absolutely always try to get the fuck offa there within a couple of messages, but all of that info has been covered in other threads. But as far as the duration of the actual date, I figure anywhere between a fraction of an hour to around that should be enough of an investment without it seeming like a brazen waste of time.

[Supreme4ever]

She attacked your face and you went along with it does not sound Alpha. You have to keep your frame and not seem clingy or needy. Always leave them wanting more is the only mistake I red you did not make.

[Winston Wolfe]

(06-14-2018 01:14 AM)Diop Wrote:  

What grinds my gears the most is that, if they weren't very interested or "didn't feel the connection" or whatever, why not just cut it short after we finish our round? Why do we have to waste time "getting to know each other" longer than a round if we know we'll never see each other again? Perhaps it's a form of entertainment or an ego boost for them?

Because even when they're not digging you, they still want you, the man, to make the decision to end the date.

Because they're women.

[MaceTyrell]

^Source material for that GIF please.

Also, thread won.

[PapayaTapper]

(06-06-2018 06:45 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

Bitch I’m just looking to fuck. Don’t waste my time.

"Dont rape my time bitch" (@ 3:30)