[realologist]

"Hi, my name is Cuntry. I like different cultures getting into me. I'm single because my vagina is all I have to offer. Come try me!"

[Bienvenuto]

(04-07-2018 04:37 AM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  

Quote:

I like getting into different cultures.

So does every dumb bitch who thinks she's "spiritual". So did this bitch. It's not always a good idea...

What happened to her?

[Captainstabbin]

(04-07-2018 04:41 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

Roasting aside, what would be the winning message that wouldn't be discarded faster than a windshield wiper flyer?

I have no experience with that sort of thing on account of my crippling oldness, but I'm curious to see what kind of stuff you youngsters throw at these whores.

"I represent a Saudi prince interested in flying you to Dubai for a week of partying and a shopping spree."

[Captainstabbin]

(04-07-2018 04:44 AM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  

(04-07-2018 04:37 AM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  

Quote:

I like getting into different cultures.

So does every dumb bitch who thinks she's "spiritual". So did this bitch. It's not always a good idea...

What happened to her?

She went to India to experience the culture - got raped and murdered.

[Suits]

(04-07-2018 04:44 AM)Bienvenuto Wrote:  

(04-07-2018 04:37 AM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  

Quote:

I like getting into different cultures.

So does every dumb bitch who thinks she's "spiritual". So did this bitch. It's not always a good idea...

What happened to her?

She was an extra on the Walking Dead.

[Mayhem]

   

[Matsufubu]

This bitch's vagina has had so many visitors that it has it's own TripAdvisor listing

[Mr. D]

I’m typing as I watch:

Courtneys first match story actually occured in high school, after the captain of the football team told the guys what a lousy fuck she was.

Home, work or beach. No life beyond those, apparently. Don’t you have a hobby?

She’s probably been single for so long, ’cause she doesn’t have a life. Constant travel doesn’t make you interesting, bitch, it makes you a gypsy. Settle the fuck down, ya leathery ho. (Lotion wouldn’t hurt you either.)

Getting into different cultures means something completely different in your mind, doesn’t it Courtney?

Not a ”game-player”, looking for ”nice guys”. No wonder you have to travel.

”If you’re out there, come find me!” Bitch, you’re the flight attendant, you get cheap flights, you come find me! (Not really, you’re only good for a quick fling these days and that’s it.)

[david.garrett84]

(04-06-2018 11:05 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

I'm sorry, but due to our overbooking policies we regret to inform you that there is currently no space left in this cunt and we have had to shift your booking to a later time. But we at Courtney's Cunt value your continued business and would like to offer you an upgrade to ass-to-mouth ejaculation in consideration for any inconvenience you may have suffered.

Can you ever overbook a cunt as wide as Courtney's now presumably is?

There's room for all, folks.

[Suits]

(04-07-2018 07:01 AM)Matsufubu Wrote:  

This bitch's vagina has had so many visitors that it has it's own TripAdvisor listing

But her TripAdvisor rating is a 2/10.

[david.garrett84]

(04-07-2018 08:18 AM)Suits Wrote:  

(04-07-2018 07:01 AM)Matsufubu Wrote:  

This bitch's vagina has had so many visitors that it has it's own TripAdvisor listing

But her TripAdvisor rating is a 2/10.

Oh, Suits, at least give the part-by-part rating for once!

Overall Rating: 2/10

Ability to swallow cum like water: 10/10
Lack of vaginal fungus and bacteria: 0/10
Vaginal contraction abilities (tightness): 0/10
Number of potential reviews from other male users: 10/10
Take home to your mom factor: 0/10
Marriageability: 0/10
Good future mother rating: 0/10
Willingness to resist Eat, Pray, Love fantasies: 0/10
Anti-slut self-alarm mechanism: 0/10
General self-awareness: 0/10

That's how you get your 2/10, thank you very much.

[rpg]

She is somebodys daughter. This slag needs to go home and make peace with her father and settle down with some guy from a pentacostal church. Pump out some kids if she still can. Chlamydia is a bitch though!

[Dulceácido]

Blimey! Someone changed the thread title for me to include her name. I suppose anyone that searches her "story" is now privy to this ridicule. Kudos.

[LeBaron]

(04-07-2018 12:12 AM)SamuelBRoberts Wrote:  

I've never done a roast before, but I think it would go something like this...

Where do you even begin with this? The wrinkled, leathery skin like a used condom. The unconvincingly bleached hair. The expensively whitened teeth stretched out into a smile that says, "I'm having FUN! Can't you see how much FUN I'm having?" but is one mimosa away from breaking down sobbing in front of her entire Sunday brunch group. The soulless eyes that have seen more cock than the most hardcore pornhub viewer. The staged photos in expensive tourist locations, complete with ridiculous yoga pants and the world's ugliest bandanna. This is a woman with more SSRIs and exotic antidepressants in her medicine cabinet than you'd find in a GlaxoSmithKline warehouse.

Then of course, there's the plea for "nice guys" who "don't play games", that comes after she scared away her last 30 boyfriends by showing up at their apartment at 3:30 AM on a weekday night, banging on their window and demanding to know why they didn't answer the phone-melting series of texts she sent 10 minutes ago. She's thirty, and she stopped enjoying casual sex years ago, but it's the only thing she has to offer a man and she doesn't know how to stop. She's still getting swipes on tinder and likes on Instagram, but even though she's too stupid to do the math she knows she's not getting as many likes as she was when she was 29, and when she was 29 she wasn't getting as many as likes as she was when she was 28. This is a woman who's turned to an online dating website out of sheer desperation, the way a drowning man clings the wreckage of a sinking ship. This is a woman who's biological clock is ticking so loud that if you lay next to her in bed you'll wake up the next morning deaf in one ear and with a lifetime of tinnitus. Maybe that's why none of the guys she invites over never call her back.

In the brief moments where the prescription drugs and the alcohol wear off, she knows she's fucked. She could've married her high school sweetheart and been a happy mom like the ones in the magazines, with a beautiful kitchen with expensive granite countertops, and a family room decorated with those adorable little wreathes those magazines at the grocery store checkout line promise to teach you how to make. But her mother told her that she was too smart to just marry out of high school, and she ended up going to an expensive private university in the Northeast. She majored in English, and graduated 70,000$ in debt. The sweetheart went on to be a pharmaceutical rep and have three kids. She and her mom almost never talk anymore. She doesn't talk to most of her friends now either, because by now most of them are married with children, and it burns, oh how it burns, when they all complain about the trouble their kids are getting into at preschool, or how much daycare costs. "You're so lucky," they all say, "You don't have to deal with diapers or getting up in the middle of the night because your kid wet the bed." Both they and she know that she'd give up a kidney for the chance to change a baby's diaper.

This isn't an ad for match.com, it's an ad for the Cambodian sex tourism industry, with the tagline, "Cambodian Whores: We'll take your money and your dignity, but at least we won't show up outside your house at night screaming 'I wanted babies! Why won't you give me babies?!'"

[Il Bersagliere]

Bitch looks like a lost Sex and the City stunt double for Samantha Jones. Even though she's into yoga and meditation, she was probably a 50 year old stripper at a rotary club during one of her past lives.

Not really sure if it's me, but her wrinkles under that makeup look like herpes liver spots. You'd think Match would spend a little more on production. She bears a faint resemblance to my 6th grade social studies teacher, Ms. Hollocomb who also was a single jetsetter with short bleach blonde hair.

She's delusional. Courtney isn't sure if she wants to be the 25 year old flight attendant or the 55 year old pilot. Diving into other cultures my ass. You mean diving to lick the taint off some rascal in a rundown motel in Karachi.

Most likely always smells like Newport Menthol 100s mixed with Eau de toilette spray and that hat she wore throughout was formerly owned by a Jewish Rabbi during Kristallnacht.

Woop woop!

[Dulceácido]

(04-07-2018 11:43 AM)Il Bersagliere Wrote:  

Bitch looks like a lost Sex and the City stunt double for Samantha Jones. Even though she's into yoga and meditation, she was probably a 50 year old stripper at a rotary club during one of her past lives.

Not really sure if it's me, but her wrinkles under that makeup look like herpes liver spots. You'd think Match would spend a little more on production. She bears a faint resemblance to my 6th grade social studies teacher, Ms. Hollocomb who also was a single jetsetter with short bleach blonde hair.

She's delusional. Courtney isn't sure if she wants to be the 25 year old flight attendant or the 55 year old pilot. Diving into other cultures my ass. You mean diving to lick the taint off some rascal in a rundown motel in Karachi.

Most likely always smells like Newport Menthol 100s mixed with Eau de toilette spray and that hat she wore throughout was formerly owned by a Jewish Rabbi during Kristallnacht.

Woop woop!

However unexpected, that was pretty legit. "Woop woop"

[debeguiled]

One of my favorite bloggers, AfOR, over at wimminz.wordpress.com recently kicked the bucket, or has he might have said, the rubber finally hit the road.

This might be an appropriate place to put his taxonomy of the euphemisms women use on dating sites as a mini-memorial/eulogy/godspeed:


https://wimminz.wordpress.com/2011-04/in...atchwords/

Quote:

Good fun – right up her own ass, looking for someone else to fund her partying.

Good sense of humour – you’ll need one to date her, especially when you realise the vast gulf between her profile and reality.

Looking for young at heart funny man – I sucked the live out of all my former boyfriends, now I need new blood.

Looking to meet interesting people – I am a fucking princess.

Seeking something real – unlike me, I am completely fake

Looking for a truthful man – I am a lying cunt

Laugh – you won’t, not with me

Looking for genuine kind man – I need a carer

Looking for my soulmate – I am an emotional vampire, this is a variant on the young at heart funny man above

Good fun honest man – I am boring and dishonest

Feeling adventurous – Looking for a shag, to be fair, all women are looking for a shag, but these types will actually put out on the first date.

Looking for good hearted man – are you seeing a trend here yet?

Life’s one big adventure – I am a fucking princess, again

Looking for someone honest and caring – see the trends?

Looking for a guy who is honest – sigh…

Looking for a genuine bloke – sigh…

Looking for genuine, honest, sexy man – sigh…

Looking for genuine, intelligent bloke – sigh, but the inclusion of the “intelligent” keyword means you must not be interested in her looks.. lol

Looking for kind goodhearted man – sigh

Looking for funloving gentleman – the inclusion of the “gentleman” keyword is the clue that this skank is anything but a lady

He had this shit figured out in 2011. Rest in peace you uncompromising fucker.

[Simeon_Strangelight]

Courtney - I am a former millionaire lottery winner who has squandered all her millions and is looking for a millionaire now to save her a return to lowest spectrum of social poverty.

Courtney has been blessed with a quirky personality, a high sex drive, looks in the 7-range while in her prime. Courtney has used her time well to fuck and blow as many pilots, businessmen, mystery-meat men and "hawt"-guys as was humanly possible for any woman. She lived it all and now as her skin has turned to leather and the smile is only held up by Tequila shots and cocaine she is willing to "settle for a nice guy" - even the very thought makes her skin crawl.

What she means by nice guy is a hot tall successful highly intelligent man who will pick up her debt and gender-studies college expenditure, so that she can pop out a kid before divorce raping him and then returning to her old whorish ways.

Unfortunately she will keep on refusing all men who are not anywhere near as hot rich and dominant as the guys who fucked her before.

-----

Funnily enough - I dated enough stewardesses to know what makes many of them tick. Some are quite intelligent and very attractive, there are a few who settle down in her prime and I found those to be the most sane. Unfortunately for Courtney that boat sailed off around 4-5 years ago. I even know former stewardess carousel-riders who settled with a high-value man while aged 25. But those women dropped their job instantly and became stay-at-home moms almost instantly and the guy was very Alpha.

Her time to attract those kind of guys is almost over unless she expands her age range to 45+, but Courtney won't do that.

[realologist]

I'm being honest here. I would still tear her up. She probably knows how to suck a mean dick and might even make reverse cowgirl enjoyable.

[Mess O.]

Current prize goes to S.B. Roberts. This thread may very well turn into a series, unless every clip we find turns out to be too heinously similar and redundant.

[polar]

(04-06-2018 10:31 PM)pheonix500000 Wrote:  

Damn where to start, Flight attendant, likes to travel, single for a long time and likes nice guys, What could possibly go wrong.

Blue pill hears: sweet, polite, interesting girl who doesn't have the time to date anyone and is looking to settle down with someone like me. A real catch!

Red pill hears: girl has sampled exotic cock in 100 different countries, she can sample mine too, if the rest of my rotation is on the rag that evening. No way in hell I'd commit to a slut like her, but I'm willing to tell her what she wants to hear...if she does anal.

[godfather dust]

(04-07-2018 12:28 PM)realologist Wrote:  

I'm being honest here. I would still tear her up. She probably knows how to suck a mean dick and might even make reverse cowgirl enjoyable.

I'm half with you. WNB WFF (would face fuck)

[Simeon_Strangelight]

(04-07-2018 02:38 PM)godfather dust Wrote:  

(04-07-2018 12:28 PM)realologist Wrote:  

I'm being honest here. I would still tear her up. She probably knows how to suck a mean dick and might even make reverse cowgirl enjoyable.

I'm half with you. WNB WFF (would face fuck)

Yeah - it's not a matter who would bang. She is bangable still.

But who here would wife her up?

[MKDAWUSS]

Has she been to Dubai?

[Foolsgo1d]

Probably has enough air miles on the dick train to run her own mile high club.