[This Is Trouble]

(03-30-2018 11:23 AM)Dragan Wrote:  

20ish, but you know social circle is well better there than cold approaches.

Also, I hate to call you out, and correct me if I'm wrong...

But your Belgrade report says you were there four months.

So you made...5 approaches a month?

So...one a week?

And expect to get laid in a country that is notoriously difficult to get laid in, as vouched for by many members of this forum?

Further, you don't want to try in the US, a place that is notoriously easy to get laid in. Sometimes as simple as ordering a girl off an app straight to your place like a pizza.

I hope I'm wrong man, but I think you're gonna be in for a world of frustration if you don't adjust a bit.

[Dragan]

I mean I had more success meeting girls with social circle--it being serbia and all.

[PapayaTapper]

(03-29-2018 08:52 PM)SamuelBRoberts Wrote:  

(03-29-2018 08:38 PM)Dragan Wrote:  

(03-29-2018 07:53 PM)SamuelBRoberts Wrote:  

Do you think a hot, traditional, fertile woman would like to marry you, if she was ever to encounter you?

We'll see, I guess. I'm a work in progress, as is everyone. Is this like, a passive aggressive comment?

No, it wasn't intended that way. It just seems a relevant question if this is your goal in life.
I mean if I say, "My goal in life is to get a job as a doctor", and somebody says, "What's your GPA? Is it good enough to get into law school?" they're not being passive-aggressive at all.

Kid wants to be a doctor and youre making him go to law school. No wonder he's buggin the hell out

[Dragan]

(03-30-2018 11:37 AM)This Is Trouble Wrote:  

(03-30-2018 11:23 AM)Dragan Wrote:  

20ish, but you know social circle is well better there than cold approaches.

Also, I hate to call you out, and correct me if I'm wrong...

But your Belgrade report says you were there four months.

So you made...5 approaches a month?

So...one a week?

And expect to get laid in a country that is notoriously difficult to get laid in, as vouched for by many members of this forum?

Further, you don't want to try in the US, a place that is notoriously easy to get laid in. Sometimes as simple as ordering a girl off an app straight to your place like a pizza.

I hope I'm wrong man, but I think you're gonna be in for a world of frustration if you don't adjust a bit.

Yeah, but that was a start for me. I hadn't done cold approaches in at least several years. I will hold myself accountable too! I met a lot of girls through social circle and it yielded way better results.

I don't expect to get laid without putting work in, but seeing as everyone is against serbia, maybe I'll take a sidetrip to greece or something where it's easy, people vacationing and all.

My current living situation is not good, and would not be able to lay a girl at my place, I can't make that any more clear.

[zatara]

I don't wont to come across too harsh here, but being realistic: if you eventually get into a relationship and get laid in Belgrade you're either:

a) The most likely - going to get serious one-itis, and scare her off with your neediness & inexperience (both relationship-dynamics wise and sexually)
or
b) If she doesn't get scared off, you'll end up unhappy and lusting after greener pastures in a few years time when you're stuck in a relationship and have had no life sexual experience with other women. Especially if shes got any sort of sexual history in her past. Relationships where the women is vastly more sexually experienced than the man rarely work out.

You need to stop putting women on a pedestal and looking for the perfect one. The US is one of the easiest places in the world to have one night stands. Stay there, go out to bars and get on Tinder, and get 5 or 10 notches under your belt. Ideally a combination of one night stands for the notches, and fuck buddies who can teach you a thing or two about relationship dynamics and sex. If you're decent shape and dressed well you should be able to do this fairly easily in 6 months. If you're lacking the fitness or fashion then read some of the threads here on these and get working on it.

Once you've done this you can then wife hunt in locations where one night stands are rare if you want. But its a waste of time doing so before then. If you can't get laid in the US you're going to struggle even more in locations where its harder, like Serbia. And if you've no experience with women at all you're definitely going to fuck up your first few relationships, either mini or long-term.

[This Is Trouble]

(03-30-2018 12:03 PM)Dragan Wrote:  

My current living situation is not good, and would not be able to lay a girl at my place, I can't make that any more clear.

That's fine, totally get that.

However, the one plus side of these "strong, independent women" though is that they often have their own places.

Or at the least, live with just a roommate. And half the time the roommate will be a slut too, and encourage her to sleep with you because then she feels less slutty.

I think what we're all saying is to take a few swings of the bat with the sluts of America and try to get on base before you try to hit a home (and the pressure that comes with it) of your Project Belgrade idea.

[Dragan]

I literally need socially clued in dudes to wing for me a bit, or get mentored. They will give me that push that I need to take more risks and be more aggressive. Ideally, also, they'd give me some social proof, which would take a bit of pressure off of me. I'm good at observing people's behavior and copying it, what I'm not good at is trying to teach myself all this stuff.

[Dragan]

(03-30-2018 12:17 PM)This Is Trouble Wrote:  

(03-30-2018 12:03 PM)Dragan Wrote:  

My current living situation is not good, and would not be able to lay a girl at my place, I can't make that any more clear.

That's fine, totally get that.

However, the one plus side of these "strong, independent women" though is that they often have their own places.

Or at the least, live with just a roommate. And half the time the roommate will be a slut too, and encourage her to sleep with you because then she feels less slutty.

I think what we're all saying is to take a few swings of the bat with the sluts of America and try to get on base before you try to hit a home (and the pressure that comes with it) of your Project Belgrade idea.

I don't have the cash, or logistics to do any gaming here. I mean this in the most sincere way. All my resources from the past 5 months are going into my investment in Belgrade.

[zatara]

Again, not wanting to be harsh, but it does sound like you're just making excuses:

No money - If you don't have the money to do any gaming in the US how can you afford to fly to Europe and stay there for months not working? Also, gaming doesn't have to cost a lot of money. If you meet a girl in a bar for two drinks you're not gonna spend over $20. Or just Netflix and chill and spend nothing.

Bad logistics - as This Is Trouble outlines, most girls over 21 will have their own place in the US. You not having your own place shouldn't be a problem. Just lie and say your roommate is sick so you don't want to bring someone hope and keep him awake.

Needing a wing - you don't need a wing at all for Tinder. And though nightgame is easier with a wing, you don't absolutely need one either. You just need to get out there and practice rolling solo. Practice makes perfect. And there are plenty of threads on here to get you started on rolling solo.

Running away to Europe at some point in the future won't help you get over the massive mental barrier that you currently suffer from - your virginity. It just provides you with an excuse to postpone getting out there and approaching women. You need to get out there in your local city and get laid, instead of making plans for the distant future where everything is set-up perfectly.

[PapayaTapper]

OP

From reading your posts I can tell that the primary cause of your issues is your inner dialogue (kaotic touched on it very early on in the thread).

Your self beliefs are so crucial to your life that unless you change you will go from one state of unsatisfaction to another. You dont cure a disease by masking symptoms

Most of us do not make a conscious decision about what we believe. Rather, our beliefs are based on an amalgam of generalizations we make about our past. And unfortunately, many of us are wired to hone in on the painful experiences and form pessimistic beliefs about what that means for our current state of affairs and the potential for our future.

How many times have you heard someone say “that’s just my luck” when something bad happens? Or make grandiose statements, claiming that bad things “always” happen or that it would take a miracle for their misfortune to change?

No matter how much good transpires, we give the bad more attention, and, in turn, give the story of pain and struggle more power. And we are uniquely skilled at finding more specific experiences to back those stories up. Because the more references we have to support our beliefs, the more valid they become for us.

Yet this personal narrative prevents us from reaching our true potential and transforming the quality of our lives. Because limiting beliefs affect how much action we take, which then affects the results we get, which, in turn, reinforces our limiting beliefs. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy in which we are our own worst enemy.

If you continue to tell yourself the same story, it will continue to be true. But when you change your story, you can change your life

Think of your outlook as you would a muscle group. If you want to train a muscle group for a specific purpose (a sport for example) you would employ specific regimen.

Most people never "exercise" their mind for a specific purpose of having a positive outlook even though a positive outlook and dialogue are absolutely critical in achieving what you want in life...and this means everything from women, career, finances, family.

With an empowering "self story", individuals tend to find effective strategies, and effective strategies yield real results. But to find that empowering story, we first have to deal with our limiting beliefs. And that begins with addressing one of the most important elements of all — our state.

The psychological and emotional state we are experiencing at any given moment tends to shape our story. We all develop emotional habits, or patterns, that influence how we perceive our lives. And the states that we are in most often become the most powerful filter of all, determining whether or not we find the strategies necessary to succeed or whether or not we create stories that empower us.

So how do we break our negative states? How do we make the shift towards positive thought and feeling patterns?

First-it all comes down to making the conscious decision to recondition your mind with empowering beliefs. Empowering beliefs help you transition into a new state of being where you have absolute certainty — you don’t just believe that your are capable of achieving great things, you know it. And when you have a mindset that what you’re doing is going to work, no matter what, you can propel yourself to accomplish virtually anything. Because when you’re certain about your potential, you take massive action. And when you take massive action, you get massive results, reinforcing the belief that you are not only capable of, but are destined for greatness.

By reconditioning your mind, you will be making a conscious effort to transition into a new state of being that will eventually change your world. Instead of being ruled by fear or doubt, you will feel empowered by confidence and positivity.

Change is difficult. Very difficult. It takes courage. It took courage to start this thread. Kudos.

You have the desire. You want a bigger and better life. You want to live up to your full potential. What's stopping you?

You are.

So isn’t it time you let yourself?

[Dragan]

Thank you. I think the thread was the first step for me, but before that there was the forum which I found, pickup books, starting to do approaches, etc.

I am making changes, some are immediate, others are more gradual. I'm going back to Belgrade, which was always a huge goal of mine.

You're completely right about changing frame, working on that.

[ksbms]

(03-30-2018 11:37 AM)This Is Trouble Wrote:  

(03-30-2018 11:23 AM)Dragan Wrote:  

20ish, but you know social circle is well better there than cold approaches.

Also, I hate to call you out, and correct me if I'm wrong...

But your Belgrade report says you were there four months.

So you made...5 approaches a month?

So...one a week?

And expect to get laid in a country that is notoriously difficult to get laid in, as vouched for by many members of this forum?

Further, you don't want to try in the US, a place that is notoriously easy to get laid in. Sometimes as simple as ordering a girl off an app straight to your place like a pizza.

I hope I'm wrong man, but I think you're gonna be in for a world of frustration if you don't adjust a bit.

If you were in Beogard for four months (which is eternity gamewise) and, as you say, built a formidable social circle, yet not succeeded, what makes you think that this time it will be different and you'll get a bang (or bangs)? Serbian girls, from what I've read, are far from easy.

If money is an issue, try daygame. It's the hardest of all the options. If you can muster the courage up, and approach 100 girls (even without getting more than a number), night game will be easier. Social game will be a breeze. Online? You'll be laughing.

Bodi, when he went to Budapest, did 100 approaches (though not his first one hundred), in a foreign city, in 4 days. That's right. A 100. In four days. The time you spent writing and replying in this thread would probably equal to no less than 50 approaches by now. OK, the girls will not be hot 8+ Serbs in your town, the place you are at right now. However, let's get something straight and out of the way - If you're not regularly banging sixes, you have no business dreaming up banging sevens. Let alone eights! That's the stuff of dreams. And in your situation, any not ugly and not fat a girl will do. And entrust the process, as per Eddie's advice:

Going for the 8+ and difficult women in Serbia of all places is a so-called unconscious meta-weasel to buffer yourself against potential failure. "Ah, it's not my fault I'm still a virgin. Of course, Serbs are tough nut to crack even for seasoned players," you'll mutter under your nose. You need to be realistic. Approach 100 5s-7s in US, process the feedback girls give you, self-diagnose and then you'll know a little bit about yourself if you can TRULY make it happen with Serbian girls.

But hear me out, or, rather, let me quote, for I believe this guy knows what his talking about:

10. First day abroad
Every one of the above barriers slams down hard when you try a Euro-jaunt. You’ve probably built yourself up over a few weeks while waiting for the flight date. This is it, pussy paradise, you’re gonna hit it hard. Burn the town with a crazy number farm and get some hot foreign birds! And then you arrive in your apartment, put down your suitcase and look out the window. Shit has just gotten real and all those insecurities rise up. If you’re not careful you’ll wig out and spend the whole trip buried in a cafe reading blogs.

Just hit the streets in the US, and get mad. Get mad, and approach these chicks. If you can't approach a six in the US, where girls speak fluent English, these dreamt up 8+ Serbs, attractive, slim, sexy and beautifully dressed, will paralyse you. I've got hundred of approaches under my skin, yet still when I see fast walking, wearing headphones, hard 8+ girls, I can hear my heart pounding, hands sweating, and mouth getting dry. Don't kid yourself that you'll "step up in Serbia big time."

Last year I got mad. It was piss poor Scotland and it's harsh weather for running after skirt before late Spring. It was January, cold and dark but I doggedly walked solo the streets back and forth, entered every supermarket and mall, wore out my shoes and achilles heels but kept going and found a girl here, girl there, got a number here, an idate there and things slowly began roll in. As a consequence I know I can go to Beogard because I stood up to the test and kept going in this God-forbidden barren land up north and got a bang on a 28th approach of that year. You need a reference experience. You won't get it reading all these posts.

Log out of the forum, turn off your computer and approach. Approach 10 women, embarrass yourself. You'll come out stronger and notice that, actually, not that much happened. You'll still stand. But what is the key, you'll learn something and with each 10 approaches you'll learn more and more and will see changes in yourself. And who knows, earn yourself a date or two. But for sure, keeping this thread alive won't bring you one step further to your goal. All has been said, all advice given. Now's your turn to take action. Right now. You have a dick in your trousers, thus you have something on offer these girls don't have and won't ever have. Leave the house and give it to them!

[Dragan]

thank you so much for your post, man! I will be approaching a lot of girls within one month in Србија.

[carter]

Hi guys,

Im in a very similair position like the OP but I know a mature woman who wants to fuck a 100%. Would you guys do it to get some first experience? Or rather not

[SamuelBRoberts]

What's a 100%?

[carter]

Because she told me she only likes young guys and she texted me to go to her house to bang her but I wasnt sure and didnt do it. She said she likes to teach young men.

[carter]

I still got her number and Im almost sure she's still down

[Tribunus]

(04-07-2018 11:20 AM)carter Wrote:  

Hi guys,

Im in a very similair position like the OP but I know a mature woman who wants to fuck a 100%. Would you guys do it to get some first experience? Or rather not

How mature are we talking here?
Do you find her at least somewhat attractive? If you do, what reason do you have not to do it?

[wi30]

(04-07-2018 04:59 PM)Tribunus Wrote:  

(04-07-2018 11:20 AM)carter Wrote:  

Hi guys,

Im in a very similair position like the OP but I know a mature woman who wants to fuck a 100%. Would you guys do it to get some first experience? Or rather not

How mature are we talking here?
Do you find her at least somewhat attractive? If you do, what reason do you have not to do it?

[PapayaTapper]

^

[The British Bulldog]

I'm 20 and a virgin too. I only got my first proper kiss and grope last night too (had awkward kisses before), got this girl now she says she wants to meet me again, she's a legit 9/10, feel like I'll mess up because of my inexperience.

The reason why I'm still a virgin at this age is because I internalised being a fcking loser since I was in high school, where I was the smallest kid and pretty ugly, now I've blossomed into a handsome guy and most guys assume I'm the type of guy that sleeps around a lot, when in reality I'm absolutely clueless.

[carter]

She's 50 so not the most attractive anymore but in good shape for her age. I just want to watch out for std's and shit

[Mercenary]

(04-08-2018 01:53 AM)carter Wrote:  

She's 50 so not the most attractive anymore but in good shape for her age. I just want to watch out for std's and shit

Does she make your dick hard ?
If yes, bring condoms and bang away.

[Tribunus]

(04-07-2018 08:54 PM)The British Bulldog Wrote:  

I'm 20 and a virgin too. I only got my first proper kiss and grope last night too (had awkward kisses before), got this girl now she says she wants to meet me again, she's a legit 9/10, feel like I'll mess up because of my inexperience.

The reason why I'm still a virgin at this age is because I internalised being a fcking loser since I was in high school, where I was the smallest kid and pretty ugly, now I've blossomed into a handsome guy and most guys assume I'm the type of guy that sleeps around a lot, when in reality I'm absolutely clueless.

You should not consider it a "mess up" unless you chicken out of trying to meet her and move things forward. Try not to pedestalize this girl because you feel like it's your only chance to bang a hot girl.
You are very young, and you'll have more than enough opportunities after this one (actually that would have held true even if you were double your current age).

I won't say don't overthink it, because being a virgin and having the hang ups you describe, it's a given that you will overthink it. Just keep the interaction going. Don't worry about being smooth and having good game - just run a normal conversation, escalate or even just go for the kiss without escalating. You already got to that point so it should be rather easy to get there again. And after that it should get easier. Get her to your place or hers (if you are not there already) and seal the deal. If she consistently refuses, don't try to talk her into it. Just repeat the whole thing the next time you see her, or with the next girl.

My point is, just go through these basic steps and don't worry about "not messing up", saying the right thing or running the right play. I can say from experience that it's very possible to be clueless and awkward and still get the bang.

As long you keep talking to girls and show at least a little bit of intention, you will manage to bang some of them. If you are good looking as you say it will just make it easier.
And if you lack sexually available girls to talk to, you can easily find them on Tinder.

[The British Bulldog]

(04-08-2018 02:45 PM)Tribunus Wrote:  

(04-07-2018 08:54 PM)The British Bulldog Wrote:  

I'm 20 and a virgin too. I only got my first proper kiss and grope last night too (had awkward kisses before), got this girl now she says she wants to meet me again, she's a legit 9/10, feel like I'll mess up because of my inexperience.

The reason why I'm still a virgin at this age is because I internalised being a fcking loser since I was in high school, where I was the smallest kid and pretty ugly, now I've blossomed into a handsome guy and most guys assume I'm the type of guy that sleeps around a lot, when in reality I'm absolutely clueless.

You should not consider it a "mess up" unless you chicken out of trying to meet her and move things forward. Try not to pedestalize this girl because you feel like it's your only chance to bang a hot girl.
You are very young, and you'll have more than enough opportunities after this one (actually that would have held true even if you were double your current age).

I won't say don't overthink it, because being a virgin and having the hang ups you describe, it's a given that you will overthink it. Just keep the interaction going. Don't worry about being smooth and having good game - just run a normal conversation, escalate or even just go for the kiss without escalating. You already got to that point so it should be rather easy to get there again. And after that it should get easier. Get her to your place or hers (if you are not there already) and seal the deal. If she consistently refuses, don't try to talk her into it. Just repeat the whole thing the next time you see her, or with the next girl.

My point is, just go through these basic steps and don't worry about "not messing up", saying the right thing or running the right play. I can say from experience that it's very possible to be clueless and awkward and still get the bang.

As long you keep talking to girls and show at least a little bit of intention, you will manage to bang some of them. If you are good looking as you say it will just make it easier.
And if you lack sexually available girls to talk to, you can easily find them on Tinder.

Good advice. Yeah I know it's about the abundance mentality and not a scarcity mentality. Either way I'm still pretty elated that I got with a hot girl in the front of the same people that would have called me a dweeb in HS 2 years ago.

Any experience is good experience, I suppose, as there's a learning curve. I can't objectively assess my own appearance but a lot of people who haven't seen me in 2-3 years say they can't believe it's me and I get compliments occasionally, one anecdote is one day while walking around three girls (they weren't anything special) came up to me and said how good looking I was and how I must get called it all the time, I was pretty stunned and just said "yeah I know" and walked away.

Oneitis is what I used to suffer from when I was spotty nerdy kid in HS, but for the past two years I've been too focused on myself to get emotionally attached to girls and only admire some for their physical appearance. I've found more girls coming up and talking to me in general and even in a non-sexual way it's becoming easier to talk to girls as if they were just people and not pedestalising them. Yet my biggest hindrance is social proof, since leaving school two years ago I haven't really spoken to anyone outside college and work, wherein college is full of hopeless except this one girl 8/10 who I normally speak to where I got more comfortable speaking to girls, except she has a long term partner so I don't see myself going anywhere with her. My job is just a courier job and we are all generally distant and everyone there is much older than me. I guess going to university this September is an opportunity to reinvent myself for the better. As of now I only have one friend who only makes me look bad by association. Whenever I go to a nightclub to game girls he just sits in the corner and doesn't attempt anything. He's pretty much a hopeless case as he doesn't have the will to self-improve.