Quote: (03-08-2017 03:21 PM)filio Wrote:
Thanks guys for all your input!
I believe it's psychological, maybe i'll keep some ed drugs handy for the next time this might come up just to break through this self fulfilling prophecy because after so many years of this happening i go into new experiences with someone new with all this bullshit in my mind from the past.. and also thanks for the links above i'll re-read the old threads..
Bruh, how old are you? I would not go anywhere near that shit if you don't have to. That being said, I don't even take Advil for headaches so I'm not hatin' on people that do take it.
I've been in your position before and have, for the most part, overcome it. The following are my recommendations:
First and foremost, no-fap is a must, this is the foundation. Your dick has to actually be sensitive enough to spring up amidst natural anxiety. If you're fapping daily no-fap for a week minimum. You'll notice that if you no-fap for 1-2 weeks after chronically masturbating that it feels good just to grab your dick without looking at anything. Now just imagine if a cute chick was doing it.
Second, (or if fapping is not an issue) you need to control the pace of the entire interaction leading up to and including the sex itself. What do I mean by this? Well it depends on your experience level. There are guys here that can go straight to a girl's place (or have them come over) without ever meeting them and spit game, get their clothes off, get hard, and blow their back out without issue. I'm not there yet and it sounds like neither are you.
So here's some ways you can do it:
If a girl wants you to come straight to her place or go to yours without meeting previously, casually slow down the pace and say "hey let's grab a drink at such and such." Usually that alone works and builds her comfort as well since you don't come across as horny and desperate, so it's a win-win. If she questions it just joke about how you have so many leads that you need to screen her or make sure she's not a catfish (FYI if you got her from online game there's prob a good 40% chance she's fatter in real life compared to her pics anyway so you may reconsider the whole thing - this gives you an easy out, another win-win). Maybe there's a venue you're used to and comfortable with, try to go there. For me the venue doesn't matter, but it gives me a chance to at least run through a slapped together routine of mine, get comfortable around her, and gradually ramp up the sexual tension. If we've been talking for a bit already, I'll usually open with a casual one-arm hug, say what's up, and start some sort of conversation. From there I can feel out if she's normal, aggressive, or passive which is important. If you show up to a girls place and she's real aggressive, shit testing you left and right, that dick probably isn't coming up even if you do manage getting her clothes off.
Next, advance things to either her place or yours. When it comes to the sex, you still need to control the pace as well and know what you like and want. If she tries to do something different just don't let her. In my case for example, I haven't met a girl yet that can give me a decent blowjob without significant training. As a result, I just don't let a girl blow me the first time, because I know chances are that I'll go limp if she does. If she drops to her knees and tries to be a little porn star I just pick her ass back up and continue doing whatever we were doing previously. For me, I just like some good kissing, a handjob to get me hard, start with some missionary, and go from there. This is my sex profile, and by God, we're sticking to the fucking profile. A handjob is also something that you can easily control, either by putting your hand on hers or giving verbal commands, so it's an excellent go to. Plus if you're used to fapping it's very predictable.
Moral of the story, get a routine down for the lead-up to the sex and the sex itself. The less experienced you are, the slower the pace needs to be. The vast majority of girls have no fucking idea what they're doing in bed and require training, so don't expect them to blow your mind. Also we're all different and prefer different things. Hope this helps, best of luck.
