Quote: (11-02-2016 09:53 PM)Rob Banks Wrote:
As far as OP wanting to know if he is "insecure" for caring about his girl's sexual past, I repeat, the "insecure" label is a tool feminists use to force slut acceptance on us. It would be "insecure" to stay with a girl whose sexual past you were uncomfortable with out of fear that you wouldn't find anyone better. Having standards and sticking to them is literally the opposite of being insecure.
Just because you use the F word doesn't make my point invalid. Hitler probably drank coffee, does that make all other coffee drinkers genocidal anti-semites? Association fallacy.
Most insecurities are masked by rationalizations. The example you gave is also true - if one were to stay with a woman for fear they would not find someone else (scarcity) that is also insecurity.
If you straight up don't like girls who have been with other men before you strictly out of personal preference, then it is what it is. Like you say, sticking to your tastes is what we all should be doing. On the other hand, if you like the girl but her sexual past worries you because you maybe think you will be inadequate or she will get bored of you or something along those lines then that is insecurity.
Again, like I said: fine line. You need to get down to brass tacks on what it is about a particular woman that makes you apprehensive. That is the reason I offered up this info for OP. It needs to be determined if a female's sexual history makes you uncomfortable because you feel intimidated or you straight up don't like it.
Quote: (11-02-2016 10:08 PM)Travesty Wrote:
Stalin I'd counter that by LTRing girls you don't plan on any real future you inflict some damage on yourself like alpha widows get. I know the nicer parts of the girls I dated closely I will compare and contrast to a future girl good or bad. The more girls you date seriously I think the harder it is to give your whole heart when you keep chopping off pieces and hand them off a long the way.
Worst of all this guy will now develop slut paranoia when he does want to find a real long term girl and may push her away subconciously from past burns.
This doesn't even go into the aspect of robbing the girl in question of wasting her youth on someone. Girls DTF fast are doing so by choice. Carrying a girl into a relationship with her thinking this could be it is on the player. Women don't have defenses against that it really isn't their choice to see a futute when it isn't there and the guy is telling her she's the only one.
It is the player equivalent of greed.
I definitely see where you're coming from here Trav but I don't think relationships are quite black and white enough to conclude those things. People
do actually date just for fun. To spend time with someone over a period that can't be sustained in the long run. Thinking that every relationship that goes beyond casually fucking once in a great while needs to lead up to marriage isn't realistic.
Just like humans have sex just for fun and even developed technology to allow us to have sex without producing offspring, humans will also date and pair-bond just for fun. There are many men and women these days who have no desire to ever marry or have children.
Women will date a man they don't want to be with in the long run either. I wouldn't put the onus on the player to end things he knows aren't going to be "till death do us part" so to speak. Granted different situations require discretion. If you are with a woman you know wants to have a family and you don't then you should of course end things so she can find someone who does, but if you are both on the same page then you should enjoy eachother as long as you both choose to do so.
Just my perspective on it anyway.