[Comte De St. Germain]

(06-05-2016 12:38 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

I know what that's like. Intimately.

You know how much I wished somebody would have chatted me up prior to game. Just to be acknowledged....

Lotta guys on this board really don't want to slay 10's. They're looking for recognition as human beings. Something that they aren't really getting in their regular lives.

And that isolation is present even when you're in a crowd.

So connecting these folks...being the bridge for them...will do so much for you, and so much for them.

Actual facts, if you try to talk to everyone at a party, chances are high that you won't get to hit them all up. You'll get sucked into something pleasurable before you really can complete the mission.

WIA

God damn this bit right here hit home for me. I think this is a common theme that a lot of former social outcasts go through and realize once they become more extroverted whether or not they were actual introverts or maladjusted extroverts.

I was the fat kid in elementary school who was bullied for being fat. I was the socially awkward kid in middle school who was bullied for being socially awkward. I developed a lot of these social skills more as a kind of necessity as I was given the opportunity to move around/change schools often due to my dad changing employers. I had no friends. I always had to make new ones with the high chance that I would never see them again. Thankfully the last time I moved I stayed here where I'm at a long time back and it worked out alright.

One thing I've noticed over everything else coming out of that and heading out into those raves, concerts, clubs, etc. was that I wasn't the only one who felt like that. Being completely alone in the world. Wanting to be acknowledged by someone. Anyone. Sure people like to pretend they have a lot of genuine friends, but the reality of it comes down to one or two tops.

What they would give for someone of a bit of substance to come in and truly acknowledge them/make a genuine connection with them. Each and every single one of them out there without exception including the dumbass throwing hundreds or thousands at bottle service. That's why he's doing it. He thinks someone will look at him throwing that cash and with a few gold digger 8+ female promoters making him worth something.

You stop someone and look them in the eye and talk to them no filters or bullshit. Genuinely compliment on something they are wearing. Their week will be made(no "You're hot." or "Your dress looks nice." to a woman isn't correct way of doing it. With women being more offhand works as every guy has done it. With men it's better to be direct about it as an acknowledgement of equals).

Example Female:

Assuming you've been chatting her for a while and she makes an interesting remark.

Smirk*

Me: "You just might be up to par."

Example Male:

"Hugo Boss? Good taste. Your name?"

Extend hand*

At the end of the day a lot of people just want to talk no holds barred rather than have to deal with petty college gossip or work politics. Which is why the kind of game the majority of the forum advocates works so well.

Before we get into anything intricate, game is just a suave way to speak your mind without coming across negative in a social atmosphere. You want sex well you're laying on the innuendo or being confident before getting into bed. Your intentions are there just said differently.

Same thing with meeting new people. Want to talk about how people aren't openminded about meeting new people in our culture with a stranger, needing booze to get any self confidence, or what have you. Put a hand on their shoulder, look them in the eye, and tell it like it is while being funny, cool, or in a way for the other person to relate emotionally.

A lot of people just want that real connection with those around them.

[Vaun]

Not much more to add after CDSG & WIA's excellent data.

I would say though; just have a general interest in people. If you dont have a burning fun positive attitude going in, invent one on the spot, at a minimum to give yourself a good time. Take a real interest in people. Be curious about who they are. Regardless of sexual desire or whatever deeply rooted motivations cause us to act the way we do around people. Who cares who they are, or their backgrounds, just be a chameleon for the night. Have an open mind, share in the fun you want to have. Cracking jokes and being funny is a ++. If you are a storyteller, and you have that skill, now is the time to use it.

Taking a real interest in other people will get you out of your shell. You may not be the most boisterous life of the party, but you will connect, and by connecting we get out of our own heads and learn. Interacting with people is a learning opportunity. It opens doors in so many different ways. A simple conversation at a party with an interesting person could blow your mind. It could set you on a new path in life. You could meet or get introduced to someone that will positively affect your life. A new job, idea, joke to steal, client, career move, whatever it may be. You never know. Without curiously exploring the party sipping a free drink, you're stuck in your head and thinking about your date too much.

Let her think you are better friends now with her friends. Let her voluntarily apologize for not standing by your side all night. In truth she will be reassured and more confident in you(i.e. wetter), that you can hold your own and be on your own in her group, without her babysitting you. And that you wont go off and do something that looks ridiculously stupid in front of her lifelong friends.