[Onto]

(03-28-2016 04:26 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

If he can't handle the social pressure of group of his friends, then he has greater problems. Because if a player thinks that everyone is looking at him, and that he's being made to be a fool, in this case a digital cuckold - he's always going to be calculating and scheming to win the approval of people who clearly don't have his best interests at heart.

That's horrible game.

WIA

I don't see how there's any question that's what was done. And I don't think it's about him not being able to handle social pressure or some deep desire to be approved by everyone. She indirectly negated him in front of everyone.

How can one not feel the sting of that?
How can one be ok with letting another step on him in such a way?

I could see if it's a big guy and he's worried about getting his ass kicked, but this is his girlfriend. The one person out of most that's supposed to be supportive of him.

Everyone in the room knows she was out of line, that's why they looked at him.

What if everyone is hanging out at a bar with a group of people and your girl says some nice flattering remark about a guy at work? Or across the room?

What if she decides to sit in another guy's lap?

Can't say anything because that would be weak game?

Women start their shit tests out small, and if you don't nip it in the bud they will keep upping the ante.

[PapayaTapper]

(03-28-2016 04:26 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

@Pitt

I know girls
I've been in this situation.

If you react to her out of character, she realizes that she has leverage over you.

The way I read this scenario is
- group setting
- girl has a typical reaction to seeing a hot guy
- group looks to op to react
- op does the right thing and doesn't react


In then general case..

I would not be surprised that some of you guys when you're with your girl see a phat ass walking by and pretend not to notice. Or some nice tittays on tv and change the subject. She sees it, knows you see it. But by playing dumb you preserve the peace in your relationship. Mainly because you don't want to hear her nagging.

But you're stifling yourself, and that's not good for your game at all. That stoic mentality that infests this site has you fighting Mike Tyson with one hand tied behind your back.

So

If his girl can get him anxious or insecure by saying another guy is hot - then his frame isn't strong. Her reality is stronger than his. He's going to have to be the kind of guy that is ever vigilant about his chick.

In the past, I've said heavy is the head that wears the crown, but I've changed my mind on that.

Furthermore

If he can't handle the social pressure of group of his friends, then he has greater problems. Because if a player thinks that everyone is looking at him, and that he's being made to be a fool, in this case a digital cuckold - he's always going to be calculating and scheming to win the approval of people who clearly don't have his best interests at heart.

That's horrible game.

I think scenarios like this strike at latent feelings of insecurity. Any time hypergamy rears its ugly head, guys forget the game, and go into reactive mode.

So if some typical comment that all girls make pops up and I feel some kinda way about it, time to reassess. Have I lost my G? Am I at the point where a girl being a girl puts me in jeopardy?

WIA

Your points are well taken but..To reiterate my point, the issue at hand has far less to do with OP's reaction (or any other of us in a similar situation) or lack there of.

IMO the larger issue is purely one of her intent. Either she was actively trying to elicit a reaction from him or she cared so little about his reaction that she wasn't cognizant of the inherent disrespect.

Both are equally unacceptable

[MMM]

Just think, what would she do if it was the same scenario, except now it’s a hot chick on TV and you said "Oooooh wow, she is soo hot" and did that hand thumping to the heart theatrical gesture? You’d be out of line right? And you wouldn’t do it because its DISRESPECTFUL.

[PapayaTapper]

(03-28-2016 04:44 PM)GlobalMan Wrote:  

My first reaction was that it probably wasn't anything of significance, but thinking about it more I can't recall any actual girlfriend saying/doing something similar in front of me.

My main, and all previous, goes out of her way to avoid complementing other men in the way you're describing, only reluctantly admitting a guy is attractive if pressed on it, and even then always quickly following it up with a compliment, "but you're better looking" or something like that. (She's also said, with a wry smile, "but you probably have a bigger cock"- what man doesn't want to hear that!).

Now, she's obviously probably blowing smoke up my ass in some of those scenarios, but the point is she has the decency and respect a girl should have. I don't need to be reassured, never expressed anything seeking it, she just does it anyway- because that's what caring, loving, respectful girl does.

If you've been kind enough to agree to be in a relationship with this girl, thats what you should be getting from her.

The frame you set from the beginning is what will determine how she acts around you. With that girl I just described, I've never had to get upset or verbalize displeasure with her actions- our interactions from day one set the tone on who I am, what I expect.

[Kamikaze]

I would treat it as a throwaway comment by shrugging and saying 'that's a good-looking dude' while you take a drag from your cig. The punishment comes later in the form of psychological abuse.

[Stratos]

Massive disrespect and public humiliation.
My reaction would be slightly dismissive and contemptuous, something like addressing the group rolling my eyes "Well I thought she was classy when we first met [shrug]" or "Cool I always like the relationships where we decide to share each other." Something where it's clear I'm a bit disgusted with her and downgrade her a notch or two. She'll get the message and scramble to "earn it back". But in my experience chicks like this are hopeless and soft next turning into a hard next is best. There are too many classy hotties out there who can't find a good man to waste time with these trashy ones.

[RatInTheWoods]

(03-28-2016 05:50 PM)Stratos Wrote:  

Massive disrespect and public humiliation.
My reaction would be slightly dismissive and contemptuous, something like addressing the group rolling my eyes "Well I thought she was classy when we first met [shrug]"

I love this! Best response so far.

[WestIndianArchie]

(03-28-2016 04:52 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

I agree that you shouldn't react out of character, but this is disrespect.

If you want to take it that way, you can take it that way.

I see it as a chick who's tapped into her sexual desire but doesn't have much of a filter.

Girls say shit like this all the time.

The most common one is out of nowhere ,"I gotta pee".

But let's say you do take it as "disrespect".

Are there shades of grey?
Do you go nuclear?

A glare?
Cold shoulder?
Radio silence?
Break up with her?

Do you scold her privately for disrespecting you?

Do you give her up as a lost cause because it means that you must have lost "hand" at some point?

None of that shit makes sense. Especially if the situation is you and your girlfriend.

But how do you think she's going to react?
Especially when she doesn't see it as a big deal?

She might appease you, but now she's much more guarded around you.
She will know that those kinds of comments make a you feel insecure.
She's not looking for a man who's threatened by something that can't happen. Not in a boyfriend, and certainly not in a lover.

If not knowing what's going on in her brain makes you feel better, have at it. If you'd prefer for her to keep quiet, keep her secrets, not wear her emotions on her sleeve - that's your game to play.

That's that old school, feed me, fuck me, and the shut the fuck up.

What chick is looking for that?

She wants a strong man, not a dictator.

Unless you like a browbeaten chick.

(03-28-2016 04:52 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

I tolerate a lot of things, but disrespect is something that shouldn't be tolerated from those that are close to you (I consider my close friends, girls I'm dating, and family as close).

You can address it afterwards as some have suggested, but you shouldn't tolerate disrespect.

In your words:

Quote:

So if some typical comment that all girls make pops up

Can you please clarify WIA, if you really think this is a typical comment that all girls make? Have you really experienced this being common amongst girls you date? I certainly haven't. On occasion, maybe, but common?

Girls say dumb shit all the time.
They talk so much, she's bound to say some shit you don't like.

If it's not some athlete on the tube, she'll compare you to her ex.
She might make a remark about your family, friends or coworkers.
It's probably innocent, but that's not how a lot of guys will see it.

And from there, they're just reacting.

These guys don't have the experience to know that most chicks don't live by their words, not like men.

You can always play it hard, "my way or the highway", "Do as I say woman", but like I said above - there shouldn't be anything a woman can say or do to you that can get you to react.

You make her react, not the other way around.

WIA

[WestIndianArchie]

(03-28-2016 05:16 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

Your points are well taken but..To reiterate my point, the issue at hand has far less to do with OP's reaction (or any other of us in a similar situation) or lack there of.

IMO the larger issue is purely one of her intent. Either she was actively trying to elicit a reaction from him or she cared so little about his reaction that she wasn't cognizant of the inherent disrespect.

Both are equally unacceptable

You can read it the hard way if you want.

Either she's consciously fucking with you, or she is doing it unconsciously and that's a pattern of her behavior.

Where does that get you?

"You know babe, at the party last night, I wasn't comfortable when you said..."

LOL

Are you going into behavior modification NOW?
You were not doing that before?
What could you have done to prevent it?

Do you give her the cold shoulder?
Silent treatment?
Cut her off?
Kick her out?
Break up with her?
Divorce her because she admires the physique of some basketball player she'll never meet?

That's all after the fact.

If you were "alpha" from the beginning, that means she no longer respects you. Because no woman that respects her man would ever openly lust after some celebrity she'd never meet. Of course such a woman never felt like that before you came on the scene...right? Olga was just plucking strawberries at her family's dacha when you showed up on the scene...

This whole, "She disrespected me"...That's a scarcity mindset and it only leads to bad options.

WIA

[WestIndianArchie]

[quote] (03-28-2016 04:55 PM)Onto Wrote:  

[quote='WestIndianArchie' pid='1262979' dateline='1459200374']

If he can't handle the social pressure of group of his friends, then he has greater problems. Because if a player thinks that everyone is looking at him, and that he's being made to be a fool, in this case a digital cuckold - he's always going to be calculating and scheming to win the approval of people who clearly don't have his best interests at heart.

That's horrible game.

WIA[/quote]

I don't see how there's any question that's what was done. And I don't think it's about him not being able to handle social pressure or some deep desire to be approved by everyone. She indirectly negated him in front of everyone.

How can one not feel the sting of that?
How can one be ok with letting another step on him in such a way?

I could see if it's a big guy and he's worried about getting his ass kicked, but this is his girlfriend. The one person out of most that's supposed to be supportive of him.

Everyone in the room knows she was out of line, that's why they looked at him.

I didn't say he shouldn't say anything.
The first thing he should do is ask himself why it bothers him.

This is a multi-faceted problem, but the first one is why is he so affected by some chick "indirectly negating him" if you want to use the doomsday terms.

If he's a player, if he has game - the bitch is replaceable. Wife, long term GF, favorite fuck buddy - what ever chick did this can be dropped and a hotter one in her place.

But if that type of thing makes him feel insecure, like HE HAS TO RESPOND SOME HOW, she's making him react.

Maybe the chick likes drama (because they all like drama), and this is her way out of getting him to do something - but he's not in control of himself if he can be forced into a situation.

I think you guys are making this way bigger than it is.

If a guy walked in the room and she was like, "Look at the big piece of meat" - that's open disrespect. That requires immediate attention.

But if a chick reacts to anything on TV, and then now you have to counteract whatever she does, she's the one wearing the condom in the relationship.

Furthermore, you can't control her. You can influence her, but the second that you try to micro-manage her words, feelings, and emotions - you're no longer a player.


[quote] (03-28-2016 04:55 PM)Onto Wrote:  

What if everyone is hanging out at a bar with a group of people and your girl says some nice flattering remark about a guy at work? Or across the room?

What if she decides to sit in another guy's lap?

Can't say anything because that would be weak game?

Women start their shit tests out small, and if you don't nip it in the bud they will keep upping the ante.[/quote]

If she says there's this guy at work that's cute?

In my mind, he's already lost.
There's nothing to nip in the bud, because she's not "in check."

If she says that guy over there is cute

He's already lost, because she can go do something about that. There's nothing that he can do.

Give her a cold stare?
Turn his back on her?
Reprimand her?
Drag her out of the bar?

If she jumps in another guy's lamp
He's already lost.

You guys that want to play some typical chick ejaculation as a sign of greater things to come
- Don't understand hypergamy (She'll fuck someone behind your back and you won't know it)
- Don't understand game (it's about making her react)
- Don't understand women (they say all sorts of inane shit all day)
- Live in a fantasy world where "Alpha" solves everything, and these chicks just obey you like a dog.

That doesn't happen in the real world.

Not in America, not in the Philippines, not in Colombia, not in Latvia.

Maybe in Saudi Arabia where sheikhs keep bitches literally on lock down.

These chicks have minds and desires of their own. And if you react to every slight - real or perceived - , she's controlling you. She's getting the drama she wants out of you, on her terms.

You can of course always play these situations hard, but playing it hard means you have no flexibility.

WIA

[nek]

(03-28-2016 11:24 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

- Live in a fantasy world where "Alpha" solves everything, and these chicks just obey you like a dog.


These chicks have minds and desires of their own. And if you react to every slight - real or perceived - , she's controlling you. She's getting the drama she wants out of you, on her terms.

Couple things:

No, "alpha" doesn't solve everything, and I don't think he's talking about obeying, it's just basic decency on her part. I've been in the deep south for a bit now and have had the fortune to come across some people in what I'd look at as very good relationships. The key is a combination of how the guy is as a man and him picking the right girl, with the latter being the bigger, more important part. Think of how you handle yourself with a girl as comparable to a chef's skillset, and think of picking the girl the same as picking ingredients. You can have all the skill in the world, but good ingredients are #1.

Women do have minds of their own, as do all people, but if the mind of their own doesn't grasp basic decency and respect, that's a problem. If I called my girlfriend stupid in front of her friends, that IS disrespectful. It may be how I honestly feel, but it doesn't need to be said.

As for insecurity, you can't help the way you feel and this is one of those situations where you need to assess why you feel that way and if there's anything you can do to change it. One thing we need to recognize is women DO have a lot of power in the realm of sex and dating, so I don't think feelings of insecurity are entirely unwarranted. I know several women/girls who've slept with athletes and celebrities, I don't know any men that have (you hear of male rock stars banging groupies, female celebrities are banging male celebrities or rich guys and guys with status in some way or another, goes to show who has sexual power). Some times insecurity is a warranted feeling. I've been robbed at gunpoint, I was very insecure at that point.

It's really hard to play the not giving a fuck card when you've in some way publicly committed to a woman. If you TRULY didn't give a fuck, you wouldn't have made the commitment in the first place.

[Rush87]

(03-28-2016 11:04 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

What could you have done to prevent it?

This whole, "She disrespected me"...That's a scarcity mindset and it only leads to bad options.

WIA

I'm not sure there is much you can do to prevent it, but I wouldn't go so far as to dismiss it altogether.

You will dates girls that wouldn't dare to do this, and you will date girls that will do it like it's normal.

Is it a shit test [As many are saying?] I don't think so. I do agree with you in that it's a behavioural trait… Is it disrespectful? Yes. Do they know it's disrespectful? Probably not. It probable comes down to their filter and their upbringing.

That being said: As a man, acting like that in front of a girlfriend [Especially in front of her friends] is something I would never do. I cannot remember the point in history where I learned it was bad, in fact, maybe I was just born with this behavioural trait, but it exists none the less.

In that regard, I don't see why any man should tolerate this sort of behaviour. Perhaps it's a deeper trait [or red flag] that is natures way of saying to steer clear of these girls altogether.

To revert back to my opening sentence. I don't think there is anything you can do BUT… I would take a mental note of it, and be the judge on whether that is the tipping point when it comes to ending the relationship.

[BetaNoMore]

Disagree with WIA.

Would it be okay if you were with a group of people and you say some hot woman on the tv who could cook and you said outloud "wow, that girl on the tv is so great. she's hot, can cook. just my dream girl." No it would not.

Not putting up with shitty behaviour isn't a scarcity mindset. Where do you draw the line? I've seen girls disrespect their bfs in front of others by saying: "he doesn't do anything right. do you even understand anything?" and things like "he doesn't take control in bed." Is not accepting that behaviour a scarcity mindset? If you don't accept it, are you lacking a fundamental knowledge of female hypergamy and game?

[GlobalMan]

(03-28-2016 11:24 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Furthermore, you can't control her. You can influence her, but the second that you try to micro-manage her words, feelings, and emotions - you're no longer a player.

WIA hits on a crucial point here that is worth emphasizing.

Many guys misinterpret what solid frame is and what it accomplishes, and confuse it or mix it with destructive and ultimately useless controlling behavior.

I'm going to quote myself, from another thread:

(01-06-2016 02:48 AM)GlobalMan Wrote:  

Trying to control other people's interests is a waste of energy.

When you encounter a situation like this its a good idea to ask yourself if what you're about to say/do/decide will have an actual impact on the other person's desires/mindset/choices or if it's just something that makes you feel better, to placate your fears, while changing nothing in actuality. More "control" is usually just an illusion to feel ok. You have to let that go.

Strong frame is when a girl is free to choose whatever she wishes and yet she still chooses to make the choices that would please you, due to the foundation you've laid (and need to continue to build on). Attempting to control the choice, to make it for her, is weak frame. And it's not effective in the long term anyway, as her conflicting desire never went away.

[Bushido]

I'm with WIA on this.

I've heard that line tons of times. Best to just ignore it as if she never even said it.

If there's a pattern of disrespect evolving then that's different.

You don't need to verbally call out disrespect until there are no other options available. Chances are it's just a shit test. Indirect communication is almost always the better option. Or fuck it, go get another girl if you so please.

[Onto]

(03-29-2016 02:44 AM)GlobalMan Wrote:  

(03-28-2016 11:24 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Furthermore, you can't control her. You can influence her, but the second that you try to micro-manage her words, feelings, and emotions - you're no longer a player.

WIA hits on a crucial point here that is worth emphasizing.

Many guys misinterpret what solid frame is and what it accomplishes, and confuse it or mix it with destructive and ultimately useless controlling behavior.

I'm going to quote myself, from another thread:

(01-06-2016 02:48 AM)GlobalMan Wrote:  

Trying to control other people's interests is a waste of energy.

When you encounter a situation like this its a good idea to ask yourself if what you're about to say/do/decide will have an actual impact on the other person's desires/mindset/choices or if it's just something that makes you feel better, to placate your fears, while changing nothing in actuality. More "control" is usually just an illusion to feel ok. You have to let that go.

Strong frame is when a girl is free to choose whatever she wishes and yet she still chooses to make the choices that would please you, due to the foundation you've laid (and need to continue to build on). Attempting to control the choice, to make it for her, is weak frame. And it's not effective in the long term anyway, as her conflicting desire never went away.

A girl is always free to choose, but it is our responsibility to make her aware of the price that will be paid by her choice. She's too often just unaware of it.

Two personal examples from my life:

1) When I was in college I was involved with a girl that consistently relativized me. I was young and blue and thought ignoring it was the best option. Didn't want to seem jealous/insecure, but really just didn't want to say anything that might make me lose the pussy. She kept upping the ante until she was full out cheating. Lesson learned.

2) When I was in my 30's I just got into an LTR with a Latina. We were walking down the street together and she takes a call on her cell. She talks for a while in Spanish, smiling, laughing, etc. Afterwards I ask who it was and she said, "Oh it was my guy friend, Felix".

I asked her, "How do you think it makes me feel when I'm now walking alone while you're having a good time being entertained by another man and giving him your attention?", "What am I supposed to be doing while your busy with him? Just listen?"

Of course she started going into the whole just friends bit at which time I explained in detail the reasons guys and girls can't be just friends and that if she wants to be in an LTR with me she must ditch all her guy friends and have her only relation to men (except her family) through me. If these guys are truly her friends they will understand and be happy she found a great man who loves her and cares about his relationship with her.

Her expression was like a deer being caught in the headlights. I suspect not many men have said such a thing to her before. After a few minutes of silence she smiled and said, "Yes, mi amor, I'm sorry. I want to be with you." And that was that. No more shit tests, no more other guys in the picture and we had a great relationship for several years.

Deep down every woman wants a real conquistador.

[WestIndianArchie]

How do you know that she didn't keep talking to Felix?
How do you even know the person she was talking to was Felix?

You don't. You can't.

There's this pervasive illusion of control throughout this thread, tied to a conventional value system.

WIA

[MMM]

^ WIA makes a good point. You never know if she's a closet Felix or dog fucker or worse. You can't control them and you have to be ready to next them at any time.

[dark_g]

(03-27-2016 03:48 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

Chuckle and say he's way out of her league. Even if it is an obvious joke, she's bound to dwell on that comment forever and think twice before trying that particular shit test again.

Another variation of this would be to say, "You need to step up your game if you want to get with him". A few of her friends jaws might drop.

It has that, "Oh no you didn't" factor, without being specific. It would wreak havoc on all her insecurities and let her know that she crossed the line.

[Rush87]

(03-29-2016 07:59 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

How do you know that she didn't keep talking to Felix?
How do you even know the person she was talking to was Felix?

You don't. You can't.

There's this pervasive illusion of control throughout this thread, tied to a conventional value system.

WIA

To be fair, 'the illusion' of control can be attributed to just about every facet of life.

I think in a lot of ways, men look for 'indicators' that they can identify and then potentially 'fix'. It's in our nature.

[Artiste]

(03-29-2016 06:58 AM)Onto Wrote:  

(03-29-2016 02:44 AM)GlobalMan Wrote:  

Strong frame is when a girl is free to choose whatever she wishes and yet she still chooses to make the choices that would please you, due to the foundation you've laid (and need to continue to build on). Attempting to control the choice, to make it for her, is weak frame. And it's not effective in the long term anyway, as her conflicting desire never went away.

A girl is always free to choose, but it is our responsibility to make her aware of the price that will be paid by her choice. She's too often just unaware of it...

Onto, great post.

The most effective reply to any query regarding "what would you do in this situation?" is to examine the context. A number of posters have raised this, e.g:

(03-27-2016 09:53 PM)kinjutsu Wrote:  

-How often do you joke around and make sarcastic comments with her? Maybe she thought that it was acceptable based on how you interact with her and your friends...

Now, if you're looking at more generally applicable advice, I think it pays to consider some fundamental principles about the male-female dynamic. In this case I would consider the following principle #1: Neediness is unattractive (I agree), and #2: You can never truly control anyone (I agree), therefore you should not be reactive (I disagree in this case).

Why? Because I defer to principle #3: The energy of a woman tends to be passive, whilst the energy of a man tends to be active. Consider why are women, not men, more drawn to the concept of fate? Anti-slut defense is one reason why women want to believe "it just happened", another is their subconscious positive reception to the active masculine energy.

This of course is a generalization (with plenty more to follow) however, to me, represents a clear differentiation between the masculine and feminine. This is why the man must approach, must escalate and here, must set the frame of the relationship. Women will look to the man both consciously and subconsciously for behavioral guidance. Some call it a "shit test", I would call it a biological imperative to determine alpha-type psychological fitness. Whatever it's called... it seems to be never ending. Both men and women get lazy in relationships: men grow mentally weak, women grow physically fat. But if you maintain a calm, masculine frame of not accepting disrespect -- right from the start -- then sometimes all it takes to diffuse a test is one disapproving look.



(Side note: I strongly believe that one reason we have such a massive issue with 7's acting like 9's and other problems of unattractive female attitudes is because weak men reinforce it, e.g., through passively accepting disrespect just to avoid breaking rapport or by supplicating big time if they have a chance to smash or even ogle. The thirst is all too real I'm afraid).

Some caveats:

> A likely scenario, when it comes to guys seeking feedback about hurtful disrespect, is that they need to downgrade if not next the chick.
> Having the ability to laugh, smile, poke back and let small things slide is key for one's mental health and well-being; being an overly sensitive, whiny control-freak is no fun for anyone.
> If insecurity is driving your controlling behaviour and if you are not providing her with a sense of self-autonomy, then you are likely to suffer contrarian resistance.
> Vying for high level compliance within a low-investment relationship is doomed to fail.

Nonetheless, these points don't negate my overall suggestion to consider:

Having clear interpersonal standards, and being ready to sacrifice a loss of harmony or even willing to walk away when these standards are not being met, is one of the most important foundations for any man's sense of personal integrity, self-respect and happiness.

[WestIndianArchie]

@Rush

So taking your point to the logical conclusion, that you can't control a lot of things, where does that leave a player?

If you approach game from the perspective that you can control yourself, but can only influence others - do you read the scenario differently?

The cat is out of the bag, the milk is spilt, the eggs are broken.

What now?

I don't think any of the guys going full Roissy response understand what happens next.

WIA

[Indy]

"Yeah? Your sister is hot... and so is that girl that does your nails. What's her name again?"

[coverdoc]

I think this depends on the guy and the girl and where he sees her headed.

I've had the opportunity to witness this first hand from guys of all back ground.

1. Country southern white dude and his girl at get together: She says "oh he is fine" dude responds with a smile and say "hey now." <-- I think he handled that well, shows he acknowledged it, but wasn't a big deal. She smiled and got back into shape.

2. Mexican dude and his girl, me and mine: She says "yeah I get hit on all the time by handsome men, wanting to buy me drinks and stuff" Dude in a comedic tone" cool, you girls have fun, coverdoc, lets go hit the bar, i heard it's packed with chicas" His girl chuckled and shut her mouth. <-- I like this because he responded to her joke, with a joke but he was a tall handsome dude so i'm almost certain he had options in place.

3. A friend of my friend(black guy) and his girl. We were just shooting the shit and they were calling me ugly: His girl " coverdoc isn't ugly in the least bit" (smirks). Friend of my friend ilence. <---She ended up cheating on him 2 weeks later coming in the house at 5 a.m. smelling of sex and alcohol. immediately showered and went to sleep. Not saying this was the reason why, but it was a sign of things to come when he didn't say anything.

4.Turkish dude and his german girlfriend at karaoke: girl " he's cute" turk dude with a smirk " I didn't hear you, say that again" She dropped it and everyone went back to singing. <-- He handle this extremely well because he normally has an anger problem, but this was just smooth.

I think these above cases demonstrated that most of the guys did acknowledge it to in a subtly and public way let the girls know they noticed that shit, it's cool now, but don't let it happen again. I can almost guarantee that if it happened in the future, these guys wouldn't be so calm about it. My advice is always say something, even in public just to let her know you notice. If she repeats behavior drop the bitch as she doesn't respect you.

-CD

[Rhyme or Reason]

Quote:

This whole, "She disrespected me"...That's a scarcity mindset and it only leads to bad options.

This is an oversimplification. If the option of dropping her is not being considered by the player then yes, it is scarcity mentality. But that does not appear to be the OP's position. We aren't talking about how to force her to respect the OP.

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If she says that guy over there is cute

He's already lost, because she can go do something about that. There's nothing that he can do.

So there's a clear difference in the level of disrespect if she can "do something" about the guy she finds attractive? It's an innocuous comment when it's about a celeb, but once it's actionable it's a different story? I'm not buying that at all.

After all:

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How do you know that she didn't keep talking to Felix?
How do you even know the person she was talking to was Felix?

You don't. You can't.

Touche.

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I don't think any of the guys going full Roissy response understand what happens next.

I agree. What the heartistey one liner responses are an attempt to accomplish is re-direct frame in favor of the player...but it's a given that he has lost frame up until that point.

The comment I left on the 3rd page illustrated a way to avoid this in the first place. IE, don't let your plate and her friends hang out at your place. That's almost a loss of frame in the first place, depending on how you are about having random people at your house. You're letting her and her "homiez" kick it at your expense, and the bitch mouths off? Fuck that. I'm guessing OP had previously acted in a way which made that seem like acceptable behavior for her and her little crew...and that's the real issue here.

WIA's main point (though being long winded) is correct in that if you find yourself being forced to react / getting emotional over something a broad said, you've already lost your frame. All the "roissy-esque" responses in the world don't count for shit if if your armor has been pierced. It's a matter of keeping up appearances at that point.