[Skull_Leader]

Hey, lol...I'm a pretty bad case... I've spent most of my life alone, or an outsider. I spent way too much time online and playing videogames, and as such, I've never learned how to socialize with people. I've gone to very few parties, never had a girlfriend, and only kissed a girl for the first time a few years ago. I feel like I'm just wasting my life, waiting to die. I go to work, come home, internet, sleep, go to work, wash, rinse, repeat. I need to get a life, and I've tried a bit, but I just feel so awkward sometimes because I just don't have anything to talk about. I've gone to Meetup groups, but the time for the meetups usually conflict with work, and the few I've made it to, have been full of old people. I'm nearly 30 years old, and I feel like if I don't get this handled really soon, I'll die without ever actually living. I'm not old yet, but time moves so fast now and if I wait too long, I won't be able to change.

I think that before I start trying to game girls, I need to get the basics, learn how to make friends, learn how to live, and the lifestyle should attract women.

[GlobalMan]

You're in the right place then.

There are a ton of threads started by guys just like you, full of great advice. Seek them out and take the advice.

[Windom Earle]

If you feel as though you're lacking in the social skills department, start approaching everyone, not just women.

Talk about literally anything - get creative. Draw upon your skills as a gamer if you have to (i.e. problem solving) and bring that into the mix. I'm sure there are challenging aspects that you overcome in that regard.

This will build your confidence with regard to human interaction, which will eventually lead to you successfully getting a number and getting laid.

You're going to fail a lot of times before you succeed (regarding pick-up), but just keep in the back of your mind that success is around the corner.

You're right about improving your life correlating to improving your chances with women, but don't let that prevent you from honing your game skills along the way. Think of it as concurrent holistic improvement - social skills/confidence, health/body image, lifestyle & poon hunting. You'll build up resilience to rejections as well (and strengthen yourself emotionally), which you're going to need.

I posted this in a similar thread which you may find helpful regarding self-improvement.

Stop pegging yourself as a social retard right now. This is now the former you. If you commit to self-improvement in a genuine way, you'll look back at this stage in your life in 1 to 2 years from now and laugh, I guarantee it.

[kaotic]

I was introverted as a kid and a teenager, I had some friends, a few close ones, but could barely talk to girls, or strangers. Let alone use eye contact.

I forced myself to get a job in retail, where I HAD to talk to people. I put myself in situations where I had to talk to people.

Get rid of the negative attitude first - secondly like Windom said, stop calling yourself a social retard. If anything you're introverted and shy, that's all there is to it man.

Don't beat yourself up over it, start addressing it and take baby steps to make you more sociable.


Use the internet for useful things - start reading, start watching, start writing, bullshit some things if you have to, for example observe facebook and what people post about and discuss (try avoiding religion, politics, and sex in the beginning).

Are you working out ? play any sports ? have any talents ? have any hobbies ?

If not, start on one of these things, it doesn't hurt to start doing any of these, especially the gym and passions in your life.

Ramble game will be your best friend before you know it.


You can ALWAYS change, especially if you set goals, whether baby steps or stretch goals.

Make yourself accountable, make it public to us, we can help coach.

Hell once you get the basics down there's even a thread on how to build a social circle.


Here are a few to start with man:

The approach thread

Deep Inner Game DVD Program by David DeAngelo (google a download link, this got me started)


Advice for an introvert

Start using the RVF google search link

[Prof. Ligate]

All great advice. I want to do a proper write-up for people starting from a 'socially disadvantaged' background once I have a bit more time on my hands.

I remember when I first got into game I was reading people writing about how 'beta' they were with their girlfriend (!) and how they were such a hardcase newbie. Figured I must be a complete social retard because I couldn't hold a conversation with a normal male my own age... let alone even look directly into a girl's eye when talking to them. Almost four years on and people are readily coming to me for dating advice.

In saying that, I still to this day find banal conversation very taxing. Just like the gym however, I go out of my way to flex my social muscle everyday. I advise you do the same. Start with the people at work. Tomorrow begin with 'nice' chit-chat, progress to jokes after a few days, bit of banter... get a feel for the ebb and flow of conversation and see what works.

Don't concern yourself with being 'alpha', but make sure you rest easy each night knowing you're going to sleep a slightly better man than the night before.

If you take the advice you find here and put it into action, you will get laid this year.

[shameus_o'reaaly]

Toastmasters too. It's great for building a network, even a small one, and it helped me become better as a conversationalist. Go along, volunteer for 'table topics'-you'll see what this is. Plus, it's a good business skill to be able to give speeches.

I've heard good things about Carnegie courses when I had a sales job, never took one as they're not cheap, but may be worth looking into?.
Find a dance school too, as they're usually in the evenings, and at least go to a taster session-it'll be something to talk about and it helps with posture and related stuff.

[masoud_akbari]

Fair play to you man

These guys will help you !! Take their advice

Put yourself out there and you will find a decent bunch for friends and start to enjoy life

Peace