I was reading this thread again and couldn't help but agree and comment on BB's post which is absolutely a necessity nowadays.
Quote: (01-10-2016 03:05 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:
Anyhow, I see some guys in this thread saying they don't want to deal with talking to guys they don't know, etc. I don't know - I think that's extremely reductionist thinking. You don't have to give the guy a sermon, but some basic socializing isn't going to kill you.
Again, there's no one way about it, but our civilization is tied together with social dynamics and knowing how to work a crowd, or banter with approaching guys, is something a modern man should know how to do. As myself and a few others have said, you can't vacate the premises every time some guy tries to elbow in.
If you don't want to bother talking with other people, don't take her out in public - take her to your house. We're not living in caves and glaring away sexual competition with the threat of violence anymore - violence can happen still, and I personally believe that sometimes it should, but mostly it's our social skills that prevail, so it's not a weakness to blab at your competitors. It's a skill.
Beyond you're absolutely right, it's the elephant in the room with this conversation.
Having social skill is an important tool in the modern man's bag.
You need to be able to work a room, hell even strike up a convo with random strangers, short or long convos. A woman who witnesses a guy whose a smooth operator in a social environment, will have her gina tingling.
I've had girls directly talk to my ex, I had no problem jumping in the convo and steering it towards myself and taking over.
Like Clean Slate said, bitches that are hot will always have dudes hit on them, regardless if you're there or not. You have to know how to deal with that shit period.
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Anyhow, I've found a lot of guys respect me for having good looking girls on my arm and also respect me for having the ability to banter with them. But if I didn't have both those things together, I doubt I'd command the same kind of respect - a guy with hot women who builds a shell between himself and the rest of the world, on the other hand, just invites guys to try harder as soon as they get a chance because they resent him and have no reason not to.
Bingo, there's NOTHING like that feeling of being able to command a convo with a hottie by your side. I've been complimented by people I barely know or strangers for my old LTR, and then they'd start a convo. My girl would be quiet or doing her own thing while I talked to the dude, shook their hand, and they bounced or I turned my back.
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There will always be some guys that are different, but the fastest way to bridge a gap between yourself and most people in the modern world is to show them you're human.
Interestingly enough, the ability to banter well and juggle the dynamics with other men around you commands respect from women too, so you win on all fronts.
If you're not comfortable shooting the shit with other men, I recommend going out of your way to befriend some masculine guys and getting a bit of practice with it.
Exactly that ability and skill to socialize can benefit on so many fronts. Regardless if you have a bitch with you or not.
Put yourself out there, start talking to anyone. I tend to think I'm a great story teller, I definitely have some clown and asshole game I use when talking to a group.
I love being in a mixed group of friend and acquaintances, because I have a no BS and honest point of view about the world and topics, some of the shit I say is laughable and somewhat offensive but produces a conversation about it.
I agree Beyond - start hanging out with dudes you see as players, alpha's, socialites, dudes like that.
I was a complete introvert until late high school years, it wasn't until 19/20 when I hungout around cats that were CONSTANTLY ball busting and shit talking - you grow up fast and start being quick with comebacks, stories, rambling.
This was absolutely detrimental to how I socialize today, I don't know where I'd be without those guys.
You also need to be ADAPTABLE to the social situation as well, know when to turn it up or down, how to guide the situation and make it work for you.
Put yourself out there, start rubbing elbows with people, start watching what good story tellers, jokesters, and all around sociable people do.