[Onto]

I think many know my stance on this subject, but here it is again. It's ok to take what you want from life, but it's illegitimate to make others pay the price for what you want.

So if a woman wants to have a baby, it's her choice, but it's illigitamte to demand others pay the price for what she wants.

Here's the standard feminine arguments to the above:

Her: I can't have an abortion, it's against my religion, morals, etc.
Him: You didn't seem to care much about religion and morals when we were having pre-marital sex. Besides, what does your choice of religion, morals, etc. have to do with what I believe in?

Her: You could've put a condom on!
Him: You could've refused sex.

Her: You should've thought of that before you stuck your dick in me.
Him: You should've before you let me, but the truth is no one is thinking when it comes to sex. No one is having casual sex with the thought it's going to lead to pregnancy. Everyone is just feeling, and they want to feel as real as possible.

Her: You need to man up and take responsibiliy for your actions.
Him: What you want is for me to take responsibility for your decision.

And around it goes. Nobody has sex with the idea it's going to lead to pregnancy. I've been raw-dogging for 28 years with probably 70 or so women and I've only gotten two pregnant.

First had an abortion. We were both 18. Her decision, she wanted to become a doctor and she did.

Second lied to me and said she could never get pregnant. Her doctor told her when she was a teen-ager that she couldn't, blah, blah, blah. And I bought it hook, line, and sinker.

Worse is she wanted to have a kid so "Daddy" would keep paying her bills after she graduated from college. I was the new Daddy taking over that role. Worse still is she had an axe to grind with the Father (her Father), but now I'm the new Father so the axe she's been grinding since childhood is now swinging my way.

I won't go into all the nasty details of what it's like to deal with the demonic feminine and how they use your child as a weapon to punish the Father or castrate the masculine in general.

Not all women are like that though. People are different, circumstances are different, cultures are different. So we shouldn't brush with a broad stroke saying, "You should or shouldn't do this and that."

It really depends on a great many factors. If you want to know where she is coming from in all of this, dig into her childhood, her relation to her parents, and her feelings about each of them. Doing that will give you insight into her unconscious agenda as far as you and this child is concerned.

And we have our own too.

[Onto]

I want to address how RedPillUK feels about guys here telling the OP to take responsibility, etc.

RedPillUK obviously got mixed up with the wrong girl, and so did I, so our viewpoints are going to be a bit skewed by our personal experience.

It is natural for guys like us to think the others who say, "do the right thing, be a moral man, etc." are white-knighting for the woman. In reality though, I don't think they are. I think they are espousing the masculine values from an old and dead culture. A better culture, but dead nonetheless.

In the past, before the modern day pauperizing of men through child-support/family court, it would be completely up to the man to help support his child financially/emotionally. If he decided not to, he was not legally forced to do so. However, society (both men and women) would shame him.

Men had the freedom of choice, but would most often choose to support the illegitimate child, and not just to avoid the shaming, but because he wanted to do the right thing and in by doing so he grew inwardly as a man.

Today's society however is about castrating the masculine and this is reflected in todays Family Court System. A system designed to not only transfer large sums of money from men to women, but also to stigmatize and even criminalize the Father.

Worse still it's designed to take away from the man the moral path in deciding to "do the right thing" and support the child the way he wants to. This right of passage for a man is stolen and replaced with the Family Court System that brands the Father a "defendant" and not only dictates what he will do but also takes his money by force as if he were a criminal.

One can't know how castrating it all feels until you have gone through it yourself. Combine it with the castrating, demonic, entitled feminists we have today and it's a real nightmare.

The Mother tells the child gleefully, "No, your Father pays because the law will throw him in jail if he doesn't".

This is what gets told to every child at some point by today's Mother.

What a difference that must feel to a child as opposed to, "Your Father chooses to help us because he loves us".

Since men don't have the freedom to choose the wrong thing, we are robbed of the developmental growth that occurs when choosing "to do the right thing".

[samsamsam]

Good stuff Onto, thanks for sharing.

[RedPillUK]

(05-23-2015 03:11 PM)Cheetah Wrote:  

Quote:

I'm not seeing my kid, dont even know her name, but at least I'm still living my life on my terms, and not paying child support. I will still always regret her that I allowed her to have the kid.

Why?

Some people donate seed in return for money that will cover maybe a bottle service on a night out.

I guess its an interesting feeling to know that I have created life, and out there is a 1 year old girl with all my stunning good looks. Although I didn't even get paid for it, ha. Just had a year and a half of grief instead.

On the other hand, shes being raised by a single mum, who's just gonna have different 'dads' going in and out of her life. And will almost definitely grow up fat, as she always has chocolate in the house and lets her kids eat way too much of that, and sugary drinks as well as being a shit cook.

So I feel like this kid is fucked whether I see her or not. I tried for nearly a year to have some say in her life, but when she decided to name her herself, and do absolutely everything herself, I basically lost it, and said fuck all this for a while. I'll give it a few months and try again.

I found the red pill and decided to not try again, why put myself through all that grief and pay child support to see the kid once a week or fortnight? I get paid to teach kids, so to pay to see my own kid for a couple hours, sounds retarded. I would also have maybe 5% influence over this kid, and I just can't handle that to be honest and all the arguments that would definitely entail in the future. As well as that she's getting money from the government and doesn't need my money, she would rather not see me again than take my money anyway.

I went a long time thinking I was a bad person because of this. Its not something I can say without being judged like that, even here. So I'm gonna have to keep this shit to myself from now on.

If you think less of me now, good, enjoy your moral superiority. I'm done caring about that.

[samsamsam]

Redpilluk, it isn't a moral superiority thing. It is just trying to have an open discussion and allow for an exchange of ideas and help each other learn. Much like it seems you are learning about certain topics from others, others get to learn from your experiences. i don't find the guys on here celebrate another man's difficulties. Those guys usually get a temp or perm ban. This forum is a place for venting, sharing and growing. And also to share opposite views.

In my life there are times when something is so painful, I can't see it objectively. I have rationalized it, gloss over it and have been irresponsible about it. And because of that. I was defensive and told people I don't give a fuck etc. looking back I was just being stupid to protect my ego.

I think possibly what you perceive as judgement is that this is still a wound for you and any discussion about it may be causing you to revisit the pain. This sometimes happens when the wound has not healed or no peace or resolution has been found. It is understandable that this situation won't be for a while given that we are discussing a child.

We all have our perspective. We all have different lives. I am grateful to those who are willing to share about their lives since I know I will never have all the experiences in this world.

I wish you the best. And hang in there.

[Dino]

What do they pay a woman in the UK to care for a child?
Does the government pay these women enough to encourage single motherhood?
I have read there is significant drop in the British men's sperm count possibly as an affect of their water supply or diet. Is this some sort of crazy conspiracy to slowly castrate the male population?

In my neck of the woods it is a cottage industry for low life dropouts to produce as many bastards as they can to draw social services such as welfare, reduced or free housing, food stamps, and still get support from baby daddies. If the baby daddies do not pay they end up in the slammer for which we all pay for their upkeep. Don't get me wrong I am not glamorizing their poor existence. It is awful. They live worse than my animals on the farm but a lot of money is spent to allow them to do it.

[Cheetah]

(05-24-2015 07:05 AM)RedPillUK Wrote:  

(05-23-2015 03:11 PM)Cheetah Wrote:  

Quote:

I'm not seeing my kid, dont even know her name, but at least I'm still living my life on my terms, and not paying child support. I will still always regret her that I allowed her to have the kid.

Why?

Some people donate seed in return for money that will cover maybe a bottle service on a night out.

I guess its an interesting feeling to know that I have created life, and out there is a 1 year old girl with all my stunning good looks. Although I didn't even get paid for it, ha. Just had a year and a half of grief instead.

On the other hand, shes being raised by a single mum, who's just gonna have different 'dads' going in and out of her life. And will almost definitely grow up fat, as she always has chocolate in the house and lets her kids eat way too much of that, and sugary drinks as well as being a shit cook.

So I feel like this kid is fucked whether I see her or not. I tried for nearly a year to have some say in her life, but when she decided to name her herself, and do absolutely everything herself, I basically lost it, and said fuck all this for a while. I'll give it a few months and try again.

I found the red pill and decided to not try again, why put myself through all that grief and pay child support to see the kid once a week or fortnight? I get paid to teach kids, so to pay to see my own kid for a couple hours, sounds retarded. I would also have maybe 5% influence over this kid, and I just can't handle that to be honest and all the arguments that would definitely entail in the future. As well as that she's getting money from the government and doesn't need my money, she would rather not see me again than take my money anyway.

I went a long time thinking I was a bad person because of this. Its not something I can say without being judged like that, even here. So I'm gonna have to keep this shit to myself from now on.

If you think less of me now, good, enjoy your moral superiority. I'm done caring about that.

Samsamsam said it quite well.

I understand that it is painful not to have any contact with your daughter but would you really rather have had the mom to make an abortion? Your daughter gets to live even if her mom might be a lousy cook.

[RedPillUK]

I don't know whether its a good thing to bring a daughter into the world without a dad, thats why I say had I been more clearheaded, we shouldn't have had it.
Thanks sam, I don't know why I put that moral superiority line at the end. I know none of you have said anything to me really, I'm percieving judgement against the OP and don't like it where there is probably none. A lot of pain came out of those feelings, but I've learnt to care less about others opinions of me anymore because of that. You're right, the situation is permanantly unresolved, and looks like it will stay that way now. However this is as resolved as its gonna get, and although I still regret it in a way, I'm glad it helped me grow and discover the true nature of women sooner. I smile, laugh and enjoy my life now whereas a year ago I was just anxious, depressed, angry.

[the Thing]

Hey guys. Little update. I spoke to her and seems she doesnt want to abort the kid. She has ultrasound next week and will have all her results back and have a talk with her doctor later next week and she'll listen to her doctor and decide how to proceed. She told me if I don't want to raise the kid with her its okay, she told me if I wanted to settle down she would love to but she is very happy the kid is from me and not someone else. (I said "financial independence first kid second" and she said "I understand, I don't want to keep you from living yourl life the way you want to") Apparently her mother is also against her having this child which further establishes my theory of this not being an entrapment racket because when it is, their moms are usually in it too. She's not asking for any money or help and I guess I'll help as much as I could to make sure my offspring doesn't fucking starve to death, as long as she's not with someone else and ripping me off on the side. I haven't found any information regarding legal procedures I only know I'm not as fucked as if this would have happened in the United States. If anyone knows how deep I can get in legal trouble if she decides to press in the future I 'd love to know, otherwise it's 90% certain she is having this baby.

[samsamsam]

the Thing, thanks for the update. Really wish you the best on this. I appreciate how thoughtful you are about the matter, meaning it isn't filled with anger and "fuck this and fuck that" stuff we sometimes see. Don't get me wrong it is fine to be angry but you seem to be writing from a grounded perspective.

On a side note, I wonder how readily available are resources like a private investigator to help you keep track of things, should you want some on the ground intel.

Be well.

[rudebwoy]

So some chick you knocked up is going to raise your child and you will not be part of its upbringing.

How do you feel about this?

[Lizard King]

What's happening with you and the girl OP?

[Tytalus]

(07-15-2015 04:46 PM)Lizard King Wrote:  

What's happening with you and the girl OP?

Yeah. Inquiring minds want to know.

[Lizard King]

I hope he is involved with the girl so he can take on his role as father.

It wouldn't be as restrictive on his life as he thinks.

[CrackerDaddy]

(05-21-2015 06:05 PM)the Thing Wrote:  

Hey guys. Long story short. Russian girl, she knows me, no aliases etc. 3 piss tests and a doctor's blood test came positive. No ultrasound yet (beginning of June) but doctor's guess 4-5 weeks in.

Let's just forget the whole court ordered child support and associated legal rape, I'm not ready to become a father, if I'm having a kid I'm having it in my family which I'll build once my life is sorted out, and not in a different country. I don't want to live my life constantly thinking about that kid I had when I was 25. I certainly don't want a young man/woman to show up at my door and call me "dad" when I turn 50. The girl however is 29, biological clock ticking, the pregnancy hormones take over and she says she wakes up happy every day because she knows she is not alone. She also says the God who gave the child would also give the help needed to raise it. I'm not really a person of God and I think one would do everything in their power and then leave it to God, but in her case lousy job, no house, no car, I don't think it's a wise choice for her really. She says she wants some change in her life but fuckity fuck fuck guys if you want change in your life you go fishing, sign up for a dance class, learn glass sculpting, I don't know, but not have a fucking kid ?!

Now I see two outcomes to this situation:

• I let it be and help them financially as best I can. She might find someone and settle down or she might not but in neither case do I see that kid ever really accepting me as his/her father.
• I go "if you want to raise this kid do it yourself" and my relationship with both the mother and the kid is permanently fucked.
  

I don't see me moving to Russia because what good a man would I be if I can't support my family?
She wants to travel the world and settle down in Russia and throwing ideas left and right on how/where in the country we settle down, finance the house, or I work here 2-3 more years and get citizenship then we can all settle in Turkey nice and sunny, etc. I want to sort out everything else first, family second.
Anyway what's common to both of these outcomes is I end up just having been there to provide the seed and not really the family man so to speak.
Even though I like the idea of having a family and next of kin, it doesn't really mean anything to me unless I get to do this:

(Notice how he has whites on his hair? I don't even have proper facial hair yet)
I don't want to force the idea of having an abortion on her because I must admit "I wake up happy every day because I know I'm not alone" kind of touched me.
Advice please, the fuck do I do?

Also open to any advice regarding how international child support works. I live and work in Sweden but not a Swedish citizen. But I am curious if she can write me down as a parent without my passport, signature and consent in Russia? I will probably hear about international child support in Turkey from my lawyer mother (I spoke to dad on the phone and he said he wouldn't tell mom but this is the guy who answered "yes" to "are you cheating on me" so I won't be surprised) Right now I'm not concerned about the girl making claims on my assets but if she can name me a parent without my consent or a court order I would be because I hold a shit ton of my parents' assets under my name for tax purposes (I live abroad)

Thanks for the answers guys. Not sure if this forum or "Lifestyle" is the right one but I couldn't see "bastard child" as a lifestyle so here it goes

Next time you feel the urge to plant your seed, plant it in her ass. All the enjoyment of busting a nut in her without the messy complication of impregnating her......although, depending on her hygiene, there may be another kind of messy complication. IJS

[Felix 5000]

samurai power

[the Thing]

(07-15-2015 04:46 PM)Lizard King Wrote:  

What's happening with you and the girl OP?

Hey guys. Girl said 'I want to raise it on my own' and I subsequently lost all contact, she won't pick up my calls nor does she reply to my texts. She also deleted / blocked me on every form of social network. I know her home and work addresses but I 've been busy at work, and now I have some strep throat type shit going on so my life has been work - eat - sleep for a while. I want at least some kind of closure but apparently she doesn't want to talk to me so what can I say. Chaos first became uncertainty, then the way of living. I try not to think about it.

[samsamsam]

the Thing,

Thanks for the update. Sorry you are ill.

Also, sorry about the situation.

But I will say this, I do respect how you want to handle your business well and have tried to stay in touch with her.

Get better soon!

[Lizard King]

Sorry to hear that.

Don't let her bitchiness stop you on your path towards becoming a great man.

[RedPillUK]

(07-19-2015 01:13 PM)the Thing Wrote:  

(07-15-2015 04:46 PM)Lizard King Wrote:  

What's happening with you and the girl OP?

Hey guys. Girl said 'I want to raise it on my own' and I subsequently lost all contact, she won't pick up my calls nor does she reply to my texts. She also deleted / blocked me on every form of social network. I know her home and work addresses but I 've been busy at work, and now I have some strep throat type shit going on so my life has been work - eat - sleep for a while. I want at least some kind of closure but apparently she doesn't want to talk to me so what can I say. Chaos first became uncertainty, then the way of living. I try not to think about it.

Sorry to hear that, it is weird how similiar this is to what happened to me.

I went crazy trying to be involved with the kid for the length of the pregnancy only for her to block/ignore me in the same way. Showing up at her house a couple times did nothing, because I would make progress there, only for her to ignore my phone call the next day.

I took loads of overtime at my shitty job at the time as well, I hated it, but it was better than real life so I didn't care. I had no desire to better myself, I just tried to ignore the shit in my mind by either working or getting stoned/drunk.

But being ignored like this I had to finally 'give up'. I got given a book by my someone, and that got me into reading self improvement books. After that I heard of a some sort of 'manosphere' place on the internet where men help each other out, and eventually I found this place.

I realised that I have to make the most of the fact that I'm NOT a dad, and angrily got into self improvement, to say FUCK YOU to that bitch, this is what you are missing. That fire of motivation started me off, now I'm motivated by different things but that really lit a fire underneath me.

Still, when betas hear that I have a kid that I'm cut off from and don't know, they say things like "I wouldnt ever give up on that kid, I'd do anything to be involved. Its because I'm more of a man than you, you have a kid mindset"

To them I say.. "Fuck you. You haven't been in my situation, you probably wouldn't ever give up but you would also become a miserable worthless shell of a man, as I was for a over a year, have fun with that, I'm going to make the most of my life"

So basically, you've done all you can, short of completely losing your mind and stalking her at her house (that's what most of the world will suggest you do, don't listen that bullshit)

So you have to accept what you cannot change and not let all this get you down, forget other people's judgement of you and even more importantly, your own judgement of yourself. You were fucked over, bitches can raise a kid by themselves and decide who gets to be the dad these days, and theres shit all you can do about it.

Fuck everyone else's standards of whether what you did is right and wrong. As I result I give much less of a shit these days over 'right' and 'wrong' just what works and what doesn't.

Stop thinking of this as a bad thing, and start thinking of yourself as one of the luckiest men on earth, you avoided all child support, future arguments over the kid, and have 100% freedom with your life to do and go where ever you want. And you now have some of the world's most useful knowledge that only a small percentage of men have.

Make the most of the freedom you will now enjoy.

[VincentVinturi]

^^^^
Good stuff.

"Know thyself" comes to mind.

Men are cut from different cloths and not everybody's cut out to be a father.

And people who point their fingers don't know what life is yet, otherwise they wouldn't be pointing.

[forever_beta]

(07-19-2015 01:13 PM)the Thing Wrote:  

(07-15-2015 04:46 PM)Lizard King Wrote:  

What's happening with you and the girl OP?

Hey guys. Girl said 'I want to raise it on my own' and I subsequently lost all contact, she won't pick up my calls nor does she reply to my texts. She also deleted / blocked me on every form of social network. I know her home and work addresses but I 've been busy at work, and now I have some strep throat type shit going on so my life has been work - eat - sleep for a while. I want at least some kind of closure but apparently she doesn't want to talk to me so what can I say. Chaos first became uncertainty, then the way of living. I try not to think about it.

If you want the child in your life you will need to keep contact with her. Even if you don't want to see the child now, you might change your mind later so try to keep her info saved. If you want the child in your life you must demand your right to to see the kid or even go to court to have custody / visitation rights.

From what I've heard (unconfirmed personally), the laws on this matter in Russia are not very good for the woman. If this happened in the US, she would easily nail you for child support. In your situation you may have more flexibility but you'll have to decide for yourself whats ethical in terms of financial support.

Shes giving you a way out. If I were you, unless I wanted to risk trying to marry her and raise the kid with her (very high probability of disaster), I would take the lucky break and move on. I have kids and I will tell you its a serious sacrifice to your finances, time, and lifestyle for at least the next 20 years and still goes on for the rest of your life. Most people I know were are in good relationships and wanted to have kids are miserable and unsatisfied after the fact. I can't imagine how horrible it would be in an accidental situation like this.

Take whatever decision you think is best and forget what the society moralizers will say about you. People who moralize are usually naive and blind to the realities of life they have not experienced yet. It's better for a child to be raised in a happy single parent home, than a dysfunctional, loveless, and angry two parent home.

Last thing I would say is learn how to pull out, and always take a piss after you cum before sticking it in a girl again. Some guy previously mentioned cumming in her ass, but from what I understand its still possible for the semen to leak out into her vagina.

[Samseau]

(07-19-2015 01:13 PM)the Thing Wrote:  

(07-15-2015 04:46 PM)Lizard King Wrote:  

What's happening with you and the girl OP?

Hey guys. Girl said 'I want to raise it on my own' and I subsequently lost all contact, she won't pick up my calls nor does she reply to my texts. She also deleted / blocked me on every form of social network. I know her home and work addresses but I 've been busy at work, and now I have some strep throat type shit going on so my life has been work - eat - sleep for a while. I want at least some kind of closure but apparently she doesn't want to talk to me so what can I say. Chaos first became uncertainty, then the way of living. I try not to think about it.

You tried. You've got nothing to be ashamed about. If she wants to keep the kid from you in a place as big as Russia there's probably no way you can find her or use the laws to get custody either.

[wiufan11]

(05-21-2015 06:42 PM)Roosh Wrote:  

Tell her that you would like to visit the child on your vacations and spend time with it in exchange for providing some monthly financial assistance and whatever other terms you require for fulfilling the investment you're prepared to make at this time. In other words, your money should have terms attached.

Before the child is born, consult with a Swedish family lawyer who can describe what your rights are and your financial exposures are. You should also consult with a Russian family lawyer.

In the meantime, remain on pleasant terms with the mother. I would ignore the nonsense she's stating right now about wanting to travel the world or whatever because once that baby comes, her perspective will be forced to change. In the meantime, take it one day at a time.

Roosh is right. Good luck, man. She sounds a little crazy.

[rudebwoy]

(07-19-2015 01:13 PM)the Thing Wrote:  

(07-15-2015 04:46 PM)Lizard King Wrote:  

What's happening with you and the girl OP?

Hey guys. Girl said 'I want to raise it on my own' and I subsequently lost all contact, she won't pick up my calls nor does she reply to my texts. She also deleted / blocked me on every form of social network. I know her home and work addresses but I 've been busy at work, and now I have some strep throat type shit going on so my life has been work - eat - sleep for a while. I want at least some kind of closure but apparently she doesn't want to talk to me so what can I say. Chaos first became uncertainty, then the way of living. I try not to think about it.

The world is big but not that big that she cannot be found. You know her home and work address, so no big deal.

It sounds like a big shit test to me, I can be cynical at times. I cannot see what she has to gain by doing this.

The point is don't stress yourself out and get sick. Patience is your friend.