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Amy Schumer thread

Amy Schumer thread

She has all that money and still won't run on a treadmill and drink ice water for 8 weeks to improve her image. And she is no size 6. I have had my face buried in a size 6 and she is more like size 14.
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Amy Schumer thread

Quote: (07-18-2015 11:02 AM)rpg Wrote:  

She has all that money and still won't run on a treadmill and drink ice water for 8 weeks to improve her image. And she is no size 6. I have had my face buried in a size 6 and she is more like size 14.

Sizes have been adjusted every few years.

[Image: amy-schumer-gq-spread.jpg?w=769&h=432]

Here again Photoshop is the king of the story.

However if she dropped 60+ pounds, she could be a solid 6 - that is right before the wall destroys her.
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Amy Schumer thread

Zel is right manufacturers have been adjusting sizes for years to make women not feel terrible about themselves.

No way she has the willpower to drop 60 pounds. He skin would sag so much.

Here is a chart over sizes over time. So next time a woman says she is the same size as in college, just know she is full of shit.

[Image: 20120407_WOC865.png]


There are probably other charts. A current one in 2015 would be frightening. This is from 2012.
http://www.economist.com/blogs/graphicde...ly-chart-1

Fate whispers to the warrior, "You cannot withstand the storm." And the warrior whispers back, "I am the storm."

Women and children can be careless, but not men - Don Corleone

Great RVF Comments | Where Evil Resides | How to upload, etc. | New Members Read This 1 | New Members Read This 2
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Amy Schumer thread

Quote: (07-18-2015 10:49 AM)DannyAlberta Wrote:  

So Katie Couric, Mindy Kailing and Amy Schumer all at the same table for dinner?

Based on Amy Schumer's size, you'd probably wind up going hungry.

Remissas, discite, vivet.
God save us from people who mean well. -storm
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Amy Schumer thread

"Trainwreck" came in a dismal third in the box office results this past weekend. It didn't make back its budget in the first weekend either.

While third place might not seem so bad for a first time star, it's very bad considering the major media blitz Schumer's PR team did on her. For the past month, she's been everywhere and yet she couldn't get past third place.

Don't expect things to improve for "Trainwreck" next weekend, because competition will be tougher. There are at least three big movies opening July 24, including the adaptation of John Green's "Paper Towns" (which is itself a bunch of white-knighting bullshit, but that's a different topic!).
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Amy Schumer thread

Quote: (07-22-2015 02:17 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

"Trainwreck" came in a dismal third in the box office results this past weekend. It didn't make back its budget in the first weekend either.

While third place might not seem so bad for a first time star, it's very bad considering the major media blitz Schumer's PR team did on her. For the past month, she's been everywhere and yet she couldn't get past third place.

Don't expect things to improve for "Trainwreck" next weekend, because competition will be tougher. There are at least three big movies opening July 24, including the adaptation of John Green's "Paper Towns" (which is itself a bunch of white-knighting bullshit, but that's a different topic!).


Nope - while no super-hit, they will easily cross 100-150 mio. $ worldwide, if not 200 mio. $. It's an R-rated comedy and it cost them 35 mio. $ plus 15-20 mio. $ ads, if at all. There might be even a sequel.

The movie SPY with the bigger fattie & twice the budget had a worse opening weekend, but ultimately grossed over 200 mio. $ worldwide and still going on. They probably postponed the release in the rest of the world, since Europe has a much more generous vacation time and some countries are pretty much free of people in the summer.

I am afraid that Trainwreck might perform even better. The competition of movies comes usually in the same genre. Paper Towns has a much younger market segment and is not a comedy. They would have to launch Bridget Jones 3 to snuff out Trainwreck.
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Amy Schumer thread

Quote: (07-22-2015 02:41 PM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

Nope - while no super-hit, they will easily cross 100-150 mio. $ worldwide, if not 200 mio. $. It's an R-rated comedy and it cost them 35 mio. $ plus 15-20 mio. $ ads, if at all. There might be even a sequel.

The movie SPY with the bigger fattie & twice the budget had a worse opening weekend, but ultimately grossed over 200 mio. $ worldwide and still going on. They probably postponed the release in the rest of the world, since Europe has a much more generous vacation time and some countries are pretty much free of people in the summer.

I am afraid that Trainwreck might perform even better. The competition of movies comes usually in the same genre. Paper Towns has a much younger market segment and is not a comedy. They would have to launch Bridget Jones 3 to snuff out Trainwreck.

Trainwreck has done well considering its a competitive summer. It will not "easily" cross 100-150 world wide as you say but it will be close. Your numbers are wrong about P&A(prints and advertising), no movie gets a wide release without a commitment of least a 50 million spent on adds. Theaters will not accept anything less and during the summer, costs usually approach 100 but since this is a rated R comedy lets round down to 70m. With a budget of 35M and P&A probably around 70m they will need to cross that 200-250m barrier to make a profit(remember, theaters get half). They will make a profit on home video(netflix, VOD etc.)

American comedies usually don't as well abroad. Spy is a different kind of comedy with international appeal. Its a spoof 007 comedy set in europe with heavy british star power. These kinds of movies do well abroad, its something foreigners can laugh at without having to think too hard.

This is the split for SPY:
Domestic: $107,008,545 47.1%
Foreign: $120,000,000 52.9%

Adam sandler's upcoming "PIXELS" will do well internationally because the topic is Videogames, while many of it's jokes will not translate well, foreigners will be distracted by the vfx. Movies like Trainwreck do not have this advantage. "Knocked up", "40 year old virgin" didn't do well internationally.

This is the split for "THIS IS THE END":
Domestic: $101,470,202 80.5%
Foreign: $24,571,120 19.5%
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Amy Schumer thread

8ball must work in the business.

Special fx, horror, action translate well internationally. American humor doesn't always work.

I doubt a lot of other people in the world are going to want to pay to see a fat chick comedian. One that tries to sell herself as attractive.

Melissa McCarthy is sort of a different ham beast. She has been seen around the world already in other successful movies with attractive stars. Like Bridesmaids and Heat. Also, her comedy isn't about delusions of being attractive to men.

I hope this movie is a train wreck and the studio execs reconsider casting her in any other stuff.

Fate whispers to the warrior, "You cannot withstand the storm." And the warrior whispers back, "I am the storm."

Women and children can be careless, but not men - Don Corleone

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Amy Schumer thread

Today, I overheard two early women in their early thirties talking about Amy Schumer. One of them didn't know who she was. The other described her by saying,

"She's a normal-body person. She's a comedienne. She's very funny."

How is this a selling point?

Why does RVF have to accurately describe the world?
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Amy Schumer thread

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Amy Schumer thread

Some one did shoot them Dan.
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Amy Schumer thread

Too soon?

Nah... It's never too soon.

I am the cock carousel
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Amy Schumer thread

ohhhhh... it's a person.... I thought it was a beached whale!
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Amy Schumer thread

Quote: (07-23-2015 05:23 PM)josephkay Wrote:  

Today, I overheard two early women in their early thirties talking about Amy Schumer. One of them didn't know who she was. The other described her by saying,

"She's a normal-body person. She's a comedienne. She's very funny."

How is this a selling point?

Why does RVF have to accurately describe the world?

It's already too late. The wave of adoration has already started. One of my FB's sent me a link to a comedy event that Amy is "performing" with a bunch of other not-funny people for a comedy event and wanted to go. She didn't know anything about her material, and when I said "No, I'm not going to pay money to see that fatass slut-UTI-joke teller, but you go if you want" I was looked at like I was from another planet. Apparently if you don't think she's hilarious, you're wrong and should change your mind.
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Amy Schumer thread

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Amy Schumer thread

Quote: (07-24-2015 08:57 AM)Dan Woolf Wrote:  

Quote: (07-23-2015 10:34 PM)kbell Wrote:  

Some one did shoot them Dan.

That was the joke.

I think what happened was the guy sees society's slow decay but had hope. He was thinking "I'll give it one last try, maybe this isn't as bad as I think it will be. Maybe there is hope in this world." So he went. Watched like a half hour, saw 2 people laughing hysterically at it, killed them then said "Nope, there isn't" and shot himself.

TEAM VASECTOMY
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Amy Schumer thread

Quote: (07-24-2015 02:44 AM)Gustavus Adolphus Wrote:  

It's already too late. The wave of adoration has already started. One of my FB's sent me a link to a comedy event that Amy is "performing" with a bunch of other not-funny people for a comedy event and wanted to go. She didn't know anything about her material, and when I said "No, I'm not going to pay money to see that fatass slut-UTI-joke teller, but you go if you want" I was looked at like I was from another planet. Apparently if you don't think she's hilarious, you're wrong and should change your mind.

A bit of an overreaction, her stand up is funny and she is not a bad writer, however this movie was disappointing. It was boring at times and she didn't transition well from sketch show to a lead in a 2 hour film. The same can be said for seth macfarlane films.
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Amy Schumer thread

I saw her last night at the Oddball Comedy festival. She was pretty funny, but there’s no way she should have been the co-headliner with Aziz Ansari, he was a lot better than her.

She was quite honest about how plain she is looks wise. She said that when she’s out with Jennifer Lawrence she feels like Danny DeVito from Twins. She also admitted that her love life is so lame that she’s been banging a male friend of hers for the last 10 months (that may not be true, it could just be part of the act). She mentioned her bikini photo in her stand up, she said she doesn’t breathe in when she’s in a bikini so her stomach hangs out.

Anthony Jeselnik was a lot funnier than her too. He said that you’re not allowed to make jokes about transgenders nowadays and then proceeds to joke about Caitlyn Jenner.
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Amy Schumer thread

Holy shit..... I didn't know someone shot up a theater while this movie was showing...
You crazy Americans with you killer guns

Bruising cervix since 96
#TeamBeard
"I just want to live out my days drinking virgin margaritas and banging virgin señoritas" - Uncle Cr33pin
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Amy Schumer thread

Quote: (10-12-2015 04:31 PM)WalterBlack Wrote:  

She was quite honest about how plain she is looks wise. She said that when she’s out with Jennifer Lawrence she feels like Danny DeVito from Twins. She also admitted that her love life is so lame that she’s been banging a male friend of hers for the last 10 months (that may not be true, it could just be part of the act). She mentioned her bikini photo in her stand up, she said she doesn’t breathe in when she’s in a bikini so her stomach hangs out.

I wouldn't believe anything she says. The L.A. area is chock full of studs who would slip it to her in order to hitch their wagon on a high profile and high earning female. She's probably going for guys who are way out of her league to begin with.

A high value A list celebrity man isn't going to go with a chubster female comedian no matter how successful she is. So she's "single" and has a lame love life simply because of the usual hypergamy reasons.
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Amy Schumer thread

>Amy Schumer in a Bikini thread bumped

Oh fuck.

>No pics of Amy Schumer in a Bikini

Oh thank Christ.

Not on here much anymore. I'm either out on 2 wheels or trying to kill something.
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Amy Schumer thread

Quote: (10-13-2015 06:33 AM)Cr33pin Wrote:  

Holy shit..... I didn't know someone shot up a theater while this movie was showing...
You crazy Americans with you killer guns

[Image: gun2.jpg]

Fuck yeah!
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Amy Schumer thread

I can't remember an actress/comedian being pushed down our throats as hard as Schumer. Her looks aren't great but that's irrelevant because she's really not funny at all, talentless charmless well-connected broad. Often times ugly chicks tend to be funnier but not her.
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Amy Schumer thread

Quote: (10-14-2015 06:45 PM)MTLer Wrote:  

I can't remember an actress/comedian being pushed down our throats as hard as Schumer. Her looks aren't great but that's irrelevant because she's really not funny at all, talentless charmless well-connected broad. Often times ugly chicks tend to be funnier but not her.

Agreed. this chick must've done some kind of deal with the devil to be in our faces so much with no looks and no talent

Why do the heathen rage and the people imagine a vain thing? Psalm 2:1 KJV
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Amy Schumer thread

Quote: (05-09-2015 12:49 PM)Dusty Wrote:  

[Image: 8R3z0xf.jpg]

I had heard she got plastic surgery to look more like her Scandinavian half.
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