[bounce]

After a recent conversation with a fellow forum member about the inability to flush toilet paper here in South America, we began to discuss our wiping and shit paper disposal methods.

I'll give you a brief history of my 28 years of ass wiping. My first memories of ass wiping occurred as a small boy when I would yell for my mom to wipe my ass (I am dreading the day that my daughter calls upon me to do that dirty deed). When I began to wipe my own ass I used the primitive method of balling up a wad of TP and wiping. At some point I was exposed to baby wipes and it was revolutionary. I could literally dig the shit particles out of my ass and be left with a perfectly pristine hole. This evolved into a minor obsession and the digging became excessive to the point of inner ass bleeding.

Today, I have abandoned the baby wipes and now fold two squares of paper. After folding 4 times I use a one finger swipe/minor digging technique. After wiping I again fold the paper to hide the shit remnants that may be visible to a guest because here we must throw TP in the trash.

Perhaps because of my preoccupation with asshole health (former hemorrhoid sufferer) I was astonished to here that a grown man (who I will not name) wipes his ass with balled up TP. I randomly also heard that someone else does that. To see what the hype was about I tried this method that i last used probably 2 decades ago. I was amazed at the inefficiency and literally started laughing at how so many people must be walking around with a significant amount of shit in and around their ass.

My question is this: How do you wipe?

[Dusty]

[bounce]

Well, I'm pretty serious, but its also a commentary on modern asshole cleanliness. I guess the real serious question should be how chicks wipe ass.

(03-12-2015 08:49 PM)Dusty Wrote:  

[Roosh]

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-33106-...#pid658144

Quote:

I just moved into a new apartment with 3 Peruvians, and almost the first thing I had to do was take a dump. I didn't clog the toilet but there was one pesky little turd that wouldn't flush. I didn't want to say to them, "Hi nice to meet you, can you help me with my turd that won't flush."

You trolling or you mentally ill?

[Medic42]

(03-12-2015 08:56 PM)bounce Wrote:  

Well, I'm pretty serious, but its also a commentary on modern asshole cleanliness. I guess the real serious question should be how chicks wipe ass.

Front to back... or they get infections in their lady parts... Weirdest question I have seen posted here yet.

[Dusty]

Scat fixation.

[Tuthmosis]

(03-12-2015 09:01 PM)Roosh Wrote:  

You trolling or you mentally ill?

[Medic42]

(03-12-2015 09:03 PM)Dusty Wrote:  

Scat fixation.

After the Abu Dhabi Porta Potty thread it was only a matter of time before we started having these problems.

[bounce]

lol I'm serious. Here in Peru we have to throw toilet paper in the trash which is visible to everyone. Then after that conversation with a forum member I heard a Howard Stern interview regarding this topic. I think its both hilarious and interesting.

[big poppa]

Quote:

I'll give you a brief history of my 28 years of ass wiping.

[CJ_W]

100% sure this guy is trolling. You could ask that question anywhere else, hell you can even google "how to wipe your ass in south america" you don't need to do that here.

[Spectrumwalker]

The three things one is guaranteed to never find in a Peruvian establishment. Toilet paper, soap, and paper towels. Without fail.

[bounce]

OK I guess I'm the shit wiping troll. You guys are so paranoid about this "trolling" whatever that means exactly. If its funny or interesting (which apparently it is not) who gives a shit what it is? And by the way, the question was serious I just chose to pose it in a ridiculous way.

[bounce]

But if all else fails, make sure your not wearing sandals so you have an extra sock on hand.

[Veloce]

This is one of those threads to approach with trepidation. It could either go into hall of fame status or it should be closed immediately. It could go either way.

I mean really, I'm thinking about that new recruit out there that's just picked up on Roosh and decides to check out the forum. This thread pops up at the top of the list for Everything Else, and it jumps out to the new recruit: "Ass wiping technique". Talk about bad first impressions.

[Snowplow]

What a shitty thread.

[samsamsam]

(03-12-2015 09:27 PM)Veloce Wrote:  

This is one of those threads to approach with trepidation. It could either go into hall of fame status or it should be closed immediately. It could go either way.

This is one of those threads, where you see it has had a few replies before you click on it. And when you click on it, you expect a line through the guy's name.

OP, may I suggest just laying low on this thread, don't add anything to it. I only give this piece of advice because you have a few rep points, so you must have given some value somewhere.

[kbell]

Actually if you overwipe you will start to cause chaffing and possible bleeding. I'm a Chrohn's sufferer, so this can happen during a flare up. You don't want to use much pressure or you can injure as well. Zinc oxide which is in rash ointment for babies works great for this. If your getting a colonoscopy keep this in mind.

[turkishcandy]

This thread should be merged with Dubai Instagram Hoes thread.

[Veloce]

I mean really, the best ass-wiping technique is to grind your ass on this girl's face:



Remember, she's available for 'booking'. She's done it before.

[philosophical_recovery]

I need to have a shower after starting to read this thread. Then I need to drop a deuce and shower after that.

[kbell]

A light touch folded once or just scrunched up works well. Some water from a nearby sink can help if its hard to clean. The moist towelettes will clog up the toilet fast. The type of fermanated foods also affects consistency so you can change it that way as well.

Is wiping a certain way more alpha though? Or perhaps you wipe another way and your two weeks from becoming a fag?

[Sir Vigorous]

This is actually informative. I didn't know there was a better way to wipe your ass than just balling up toilet paper. Imma do some experimenting and return to this thread.

[Veloce]

(03-12-2015 09:46 PM)kbell Wrote:  

A light touch folded once or just scrunched up works well. Some water from a nearby sink can help if its hard to clean. The moist towelettes will clog up the toilet fast. The type of fermanated foods also affects consistency so you can change it that way as well.

Is wiping a certain way more alpha though? Or perhaps you wipe another way and your two weeks from becoming a fag?

I'll do this move. I'll get the water nice and warm, do a multi fold on the toilet paper, and hit it with some warm water before the wipe. Works like a charm.

[RIslander]

I'm thinking of getting a Japanese toilet off amazon for $350.

Actually, that should go on the "Bait to Lure the Pussy Home" thread

"Hey babe want to come back to my place, take a shit, and get your asshole cleaned out by a stream of warm deodorizing water"?