[Atlantic]

I still flushed all my toilet paper in South America. Sorry local waste system but I don't want my apartment smelling funky when I got a girl coming over.

[bounce]

I don't know about more alpha but my moist toillette deep digging wipes were definitely gayer than my current technique. I only moisten the TP with a little water if it is a particularly messy day. And what are you referring to about the fermented foods? I thought fiber was the most important shit factor.

You also dont want a clogged toilet if a girl is coming over.

[kbell]

foods like kimchi, sourkraut(sic), kefir, yogurt. And of course probiotics supplements. I really like the soil based ones and Align is pretty good too.


And he is banned...

Warm water wiping is probably pretty relaxing. My dad claims if you leave a warm wadded up tp up the ass for awhile it works like an enema...

[RIslander]

[eradicator]

(03-12-2015 09:27 PM)Veloce Wrote:  

This is one of those threads to approach with trepidation. It could either go into hall of fame status or it should be closed immediately. It could go either way.

I mean really, I'm thinking about that new recruit out there that's just picked up on Roosh and decides to check out the forum. This thread pops up at the top of the list for Everything Else, and it jumps out to the new recruit: "Ass wiping technique". Talk about bad first impressions.

The 'eatin' booty guide to get girls to fall in love with you' went the HOF direction. Probably because it involved game and manipulating girls minds, assuming you are a sick enough SOB to actually eat a girl's asshole.

What is missing in this thread is how it is going to help anyone get laid.

[Atlantic]

[lavidaloca]

Enter shower, lower the shower head, spread, spray, voila.

[The Father]

OP has a lot more time to perfect his ass-wiping technique now that he's banned...he'll be a pro soon...

[Kamikaze]

(03-12-2015 09:54 PM)RIslander Wrote:  

I'm thinking of getting a Japanese toilet off amazon for $350.

Actually, that should go on the "Bait to Lure the Pussy Home" thread

"Hey babe want to come back to my place, take a shit, and get your asshole cleaned out by a stream of warm deodorizing water"?

Well, I got something out of this thread. Step your toilet game up

Quote:

First, there is the heated seat. This is the sort of thing you don’t realize you need in your life until you’ve tried it and immediately decide you can no longer live without it. It is truly a pleasure to press your hindflesh to an oval of cozy warmth, instead of receiving a mild, chilly shock. Using the Washlet’s remote, you can adjust the seat’s temperature up or down until your haunches are happy.

When the time comes, the bidet function is also at your command. This is of course the killer app of the Washlet. The “money shot.” What separates the Toto from other toilet seats. It’s also something that we, as Americans, seem to be collectively intimidated by and/or squeamish about...

People in other parts of the world think we’re insane to use only dry bumwad. Go to South or East Asia, in regions with squat toilets, and you’ll always find a small tub of water or a garden hose (aka the “bum gun”) to spray yourself clean with. Even here, when we change an infant’s diaper, we recognize the utility of moisture. No parent would use dry paper instead of a moist wipe. Yet most of us deny our adult selves this basic comfort.

(03-12-2015 10:03 PM)eradicator Wrote:  

(03-12-2015 09:27 PM)Veloce Wrote:  

This is one of those threads to approach with trepidation. It could either go into hall of fame status or it should be closed immediately. It could go either way.

The 'eatin' booty guide to get girls to fall in love with you' went the HOF direction. Probably because it involved game and manipulating girls minds, assuming you are a sick enough SOB to actually eat a girl's asshole.

[RoastBeefCurtains4Me]

Here's the real question that should be discussed: do you stand or sit to wipe? Apparently about 50% do it each way, and are unaware that anybody else does it the other way!

http://deadspin.com/5424415/sitters-vs-s...-wipe-hope

While we're at it, do you use the little flap in your underwear to pee, or pull down the underwear and hang your dick out over the top elastic?

Just kidding! There are other forums where these topics are actually welcome, so don't answer these questions here.

[Geomann180]

I wipe with trolls.

[Atlantic]

(03-12-2015 10:03 PM)Atlantic Wrote:  

I should clarify that this was in relation to the OP 'Bounce' getting banned.

Don't wipe your ass with Bounce sheets.

[spokepoker]

Let's stop posting in this thread, let it get buried.
or a mod can close it.

[Guitarman]

This thread isn't going in the direction the OP was hoping for......

[Simeon_Strangelight]

Little known fact: The British Royalty had professional ass wipers up until the 1940s or 50s. Those experts of the wiping technique certainly knew their craft.

[Guitarman]

They were called "the groom of the stool". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom_of_the_Stool

[?Kick]

After using a bum gun for 2 months while travelling in Asia, I don't know how I'm gonna go back to just wiping with toilet paper

[kosko]

I had a draft saved for the lounge. A small note on how most wipes are the biggest game changer. TP is for the peons and plebs, few places use dry paper to clean their arses. The newspaper cleaning a window comparison comes to mind where you smear stuff instead of getting it clean.

I can't go back to strictly TP. I don't care how broke I am I wont deny myself the small luxury of a clean wipe. Moist wipes are the best and game friendly. It forces a girl to freshen up if she is using the bathroom right before a fuck. I can't think of a lady who won't use wipes if they are around, I hear the click of the container and I get a sense of ease she is attempting to make her situation better.

Team Wet Wipes. Fuck TP.

[trian1]

What the shit?!?!

[Paracelsus]

(03-13-2015 08:31 AM)trian1 Wrote:  

What the shit?!?!

[DChambers]

(03-13-2015 05:04 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

Little known fact: The British Royalty had professional ass wipers up until the 1940s or 50s. Those experts of the wiping technique certainly knew their craft.

From Wikipedia:

"The Groom of the Stool (formally styled: "Groom of the King's Close Stool") was the most intimate of an English monarch's courtiers, whose physical intimacy naturally led to him becoming a man in whom much confidence was placed by his royal master and with whom many royal secrets were shared as a matter of course. This secret information he was privy to—whilst it would never have been revealed, to the discredit of his honour—in turn led to him becoming feared and respected and therefore powerful within the royal court in his own right. The office developed gradually over decades and centuries into one of administration of the royal finances, and under Henry VII, the Groom of the Stool became a powerful official involved in setting national fiscal policy, under the "Chamber System."




wtf

[?Kick]

(03-13-2015 05:57 AM)kosko Wrote:  

I had a draft saved for the lounge. A small note on how most wipes are the biggest game changer. TP is for the peons and plebs, few places use dry paper to clean their arses. The newspaper cleaning a window comparison comes to mind where you smear stuff instead of getting it clean.

I can't go back to strictly TP. I don't care how broke I am I wont deny myself the small luxury of a clean wipe. Moist wipes are the best and game friendly. It forces a girl to freshen up if she is using the bathroom right before a fuck. I can't think of a lady who won't use wipes if they are around, I hear the click of the container and I get a sense of ease she is attempting to make her situation better.

Team Wet Wipes. Fuck TP.

Awwww shit. The thought never occurred to me.
Fuck the 1 ply. Fuck the 2 ply. i'm movin on up to moist towlettes, that's some real g movements right there. Game recognized.

[Geomann180]

(03-13-2015 08:45 AM)DChambers Wrote:  

... and under Henry VII, the Groom of the Stool became a powerful official involved in setting national fiscal policy[/b], under the "Chamber System."




wtf

I laughed for a while because I misread that and thought it said 'fecal' policy instead of 'fiscal'.

G

[Marmite]

Such an important topic that someone wrote a book about it!

How to Shit Around the World

[aSimpNamedBrokeback]

It is an important topic. Like Kosko said, TP is a joke. Its so ineffective I wonder how it became so mainsteam in the first place. For those non wet wipe people, go wipe your ass clean with TP and then use a wet wipe and see what the TP left behind . You'll never use TP again.