[Cattle Rustler]

Limiting your potential to control your wife so she won't control you is an oxymoron.

She is controlling you so in return you have to say no. She is stopping you from achieving your full potential.

Long story short, she is in control.

[germanico]

Subtle trolling.

Really, you could make millions but dont so your wife wont divorce you?

Yeah right.

[Deluge]

[2Wycked]

Money corrupts only the corruptable.

[kbell]

Why make millions if you don't need too? Its another thing that could be lost. Its probably good to have enough saved up for a medical emergency. Granted that could be a significant amount of money.

[MrLemon]

(11-27-2014 01:22 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

You stay poor to control your wife?

I'm not buying it

Who said "control"?

Not me. Go back and read more thoughtfully.

[Dr. Howard]

Use more money to bring in more women, not to bang if you desire to be faithful but to keep your wife on her toes.

A hot young executive assistant, private tutor, nanny or au pair will make the wife think twice about leaving. She'll instead want to stay around to make sure that all of those young bitches don't get any of her man or her money.

My wife used to get her panties in a bunch over the fact that I had a sweet old lady that cleaned my house and did my laundry once a week. Best $40/week i ever spent.

[Samseau]

Great strategy. I think what MrLemon says is counter-intuitive to most guys but it makes sense in America. Making lots of money during a marriage introduces instability into a marriage and if divorced she's going to take more from you in the long run and you'll be saddled with higher child support payments.

Conversely, making money after a divorce means you keep all of it and your child support payments are low.

Ideally, a man could make lots of money but keep his family living a modest lifestyle. This will preserve the morals of the children and the wife. In America, a woman knows how much money you have and will most likely be tempted to divorce rape you for it. You can try to hide your bank statements but it's just a matter of time before she finds out if she's living with you for 10 years. And even if she doesn't find your bank statements, but knows you've been working your ass off for 10 years and probably has lots of $$$, she'll divorce you anyways and the courts will hunt down your assets for her. Good luck keeping your stuff hidden from the law, you won't succeed if you have anything over a million.

However, making lots of money and getting married is counter-productive only because we live in a perverse system. In a normal healthy society, men have way more power than they do in America, and keep their property pretty much no matter what.

[Suits]

I think that the OP is either living in denial or there is some subtle trolling going on, but the suggestion is on point.

Having a lot of money is going to make it very hard to trust others, male friends included.

It's lonely at the top.

Women need purpose and having too much money is going to take that away from them.

I would suggest a middle ground, however.

Hustle early on, lock some money away where no one will ever find it and then if you do marry, you'll have back up cash, but stick to living an acceptable middle class existence.

That's my plan.

[Mage]

(11-27-2014 01:22 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

You stay poor to control your wife?

I'm not buying it

I totally understand OP in this.

Once you meet a certain middle class income that lets you be comfortable enough, there are many much more interesting things to do (depending on your personality) then working to earn more money then needed for middle class existence. Focusing on health, fitness, art or any hobby does much more for you as a human being. For married men spending time with children and passing their wisdom and values is also something that can be done more when there is no extra work to be done.

If mot men wouldn't be betas who felt the pressure of their wives them most men wouldn't reduce themselves to professionals without personality like most men are.

[Tactician]

People seem to be split between two sides:

1. MrLemon is making a smart move by avoiding the introduction of new volatility, via money, into his stable family life. He understands women and is to be congratulated for his foresight and self-control.

2. MrLemon is, in actually, the one being controlled by his wife. If his wife had money, her poor choices would result in a deteriorated family life. His decision to marry this particular women has severely limited his earning potential.

Both of the above positions are correct. MrLemon is making the best of a shitty situation. He's limiting his potential, because he has to.

More importantly, the OP can be taken as another reason not to marry Western women:

Quote:

Because you see, she watches all those crappy family-destroying TV shows...Sex in the City, The Good Wife; and she reads the endless swell of crappy novels which encourage modern women's apparently boundless appetite for self-absorption at the expense of their families.

Quote:

She is helpless in the face of relentless advertising. "Abandon your kids. Abandon your family. Be rich and famous".

The above quotes give insight into which activities one should watch out for in a potential LTR.

OP is clever in his current actions, but, more and more, it seems that getting married to a Westernized women is a financial death sentence.

[PeruLover12]

...

[BallsDeep]

(11-28-2014 12:17 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

And even if she doesn't find your bank statements, but knows you've been working your ass off for 10 years and probably has lots of $$$, she'll divorce you anyways and the courts will hunt down your assets for her.

Actually, her attorneys that you will be paying for will hunt down your assets.

[robreke]

(11-28-2014 07:54 AM)BallsDeep Wrote:  

(11-28-2014 12:17 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

And even if she doesn't find your bank statements, but knows you've been working your ass off for 10 years and probably has lots of $$$, she'll divorce you anyways and the courts will hunt down your assets for her.

Actually, her attorneys that you will be paying for will hunt down your assets.

Put cash / or gold in a safe deposit box. Should be somewhat untraceable.

[perverted sage]

(11-28-2014 09:49 AM)robreke Wrote:  

(11-28-2014 07:54 AM)BallsDeep Wrote:  

(11-28-2014 12:17 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

And even if she doesn't find your bank statements, but knows you've been working your ass off for 10 years and probably has lots of $$$, she'll divorce you anyways and the courts will hunt down your assets for her.

Actually, her attorneys that you will be paying for will hunt down your assets.

Put cash / or gold in a safe deposit box. Should be somewhat untraceable.

If the safe deposit box is in your name then it is traceble.

[MrLemon]

Amazing quality of discussion on this forum.

I'm still not done with my life and so, thinking about the best moves in the next few years, specifically, if I push harder in the rat race and bring in more money, how do I do so without losing that quality time I have with my kids, and how do I prevent kids/wife from getting spoiled? A significant challenge.

Many say "hide your money" but as other married guys could attest, that's practically impossible. Saying "no" to major purchases (no, you can't have an iPhone at 10 years old, lol) is certainly a start.

Others will simply choose to not get married, and that's an absolutely valid decision. However if you meet a girl who hits your heart, not just a sexy woman but a woman who you suddenly recognize as the mother of your children, then at that point you make that leap of faith. Then you have to make a whole new series of decisions, which trust me are complex. You aren't "controlling" but you are certainly "leading."

I've said it before -- raising a family in any age of the world is a massive challenge, there's always a cruel and hateful society waiting to prey on you. Your job as a man is to fight against all odds to create a tiny bubble of sanity.

That's what men do, we defy the odds. That's our unique power that women don't have.

[Dantes]

Interesting post

At the surface it is practical, rational and makes sense.

However, I see it as fear-based.

If I become successful, she will be too demanding.

I won't be able to control her and hold my frame because she will have leverage.

Decisions that are made out of fear, limit our growth and potential for fulfillment. Moving outside our comfort zone and past our fear leads to growth and expansion. You are imposing limits on yourself out of fear that you won't be able to keep your wife in check. This is predicated on fear. Acting out of fear will always come back to haunt us because we are not living the fullest life that we can.

[Vaun]

(11-27-2014 10:15 PM)germanico Wrote:  

Subtle trolling.

Really, you could make millions but dont so your wife wont divorce you?

Yeah right.

Not so subtle. He basically just admitted his marriage and wife, who he believes has the potential to ruin his life is he earns more money, is the be all end all of life on earth. Sounds not too far off from a cult leader mindset, or southwestern Utah religious zealots mindset. Another amazingly glowing testament to marriage.

[sylo]

(11-27-2014 01:41 PM)SteveMcMahon Wrote:  

Some good points OP, but...

suddenly she'd find an urgent need for the house to be remodelled or something.

Classic

[BallsDeep]

(11-28-2014 12:03 PM)Dantes Wrote:  

If I become successful, she will be too demanding.

I won't be able to control her and hold my frame because she will have leverage.

The OP is just going off history.

Has there ever been an American woman who has had access to boundless means and didn't transform into a selfish, vapid piece of shit?

[The Father]

(11-27-2014 01:41 PM)SteveMcMahon Wrote:  

I make the money, so it's mine to manage.

This is the philosophy of many a happy and prosperous marriage for thousands of years. Only now, it is considered "domestic abuse" by the femcunts - and therefore the state :/

[Yeti]

Just look at history.

The influx of a wealth of money often corrupts.

Women, as a whole, will become greedy and masculine when surrounded by her husband's wealth.

What we need is a lawyer or someone otherwise knowledgeable, to explain pre-nuptial agreements.

That seems to me like a good way to protect from divorce rape.

I don't think that they are iron-clad, however. Can anyone explain better?

Ideally you sign a tight pre-nup and make all your money, and she gets only enough to live a modest middle class lifestyle. No worries of divorce rape thanks to the pre-nup, and she isn't corrupted from all the money. Because you do not allow her much.

When she asks for more, you are firm and steady in your denials. Just as you would be with a child.

Of course, she may start making her own money. This may even be encouraged to an extent, so that she does not grow bored with her life, and thus with the marriage.

[The Father]

(11-28-2014 10:05 PM)Yeti Wrote:  

Just look at history.

The influx of a wealth of money often corrupts.

Indeed. In whatever form that wealth is accumulated, it will be spent.

[samsamsam]

Quote:

"No man is really changed by success. What happens is that success works on the man's personality like a truth drug, bringing him out of the closet and revealing...what was always inside his head." - Albert Goldman

I put this quote in another thread but I think it is appropriate here. I definitely think I have an abundant attitude and do well in business but it doesn't mean I can't think practically and logically. I guess I am cool with that middle class lifestyle. I have just never been very materialistic despite having travelled in private jets and staying in world class hotels. I just don't have an interest in spending time with anyone discussing buying unnecessary shit and keeping up with the jones's really annoys me so I don't.

The quote is pretty accurate in my opinion. I have witnessed it first hand.

[Dantes]

(11-28-2014 03:29 PM)BallsDeep Wrote:  

(11-28-2014 12:03 PM)Dantes Wrote:  

If I become successful, she will be too demanding.

I won't be able to control her and hold my frame because she will have leverage.

The OP is just going off history.

Has there ever been an American woman who has had access to boundless means and didn't transform into a selfish, vapid piece of shit?

This might be true but we are not talking about boundless means. OP is purposely limiting his life to control his wife's behavior. My point is that his behavior is predicated on fear and the anticipation of lack of control. This runs counter to abundance and expansion. This mindset limits growth and self-fulfillment.