[MrLemon]

My wife is a lovely woman: infinitely kind, a fierce protector of our children, treats me like gold. That's why I don't allow her to be rich.

Because you see, she watches all those crappy family-destroying TV shows...Sex in the City, The Good Wife; and she reads the endless swell of crappy novels which encourage modern women's apparently boundless appetite for self-absorption at the expense of their families. She can't help any of this. She's a woman. That stuff is irresistible to her. It's just her nature.

Now, I could provide her with a lot of money...let's say...I go back to building technology companies. Maybe I build and sell a little startup and get 3-5 million in our pockets. I could do this, I know exactly how.

But I won't. Because with 3-5 million in our pockets, her eyes will gleam, her honorable and virtuous heart will be corrupted, and she will decide that, with all the money, she could "be all she wants to be". She's simply not able to resist the siren call of narcissism, and she is helpless in the face of relentless advertising. "Abandon your kids. Abandon your family. Be rich and famous".

She'll do that calculation in the back of her head, that calculation that every woman on the planet is genetically wired to make. She'll figure out that she doesn't need me any more. She could divorce me and have enough money to live splendidly.

By the way, she doesn't WANT to divorce me. We are as happy a couple as ever existed. We married out of sheer love and have built a wonderful family with kids that make our hearts soar every time we see them. She loves it all. Divorce would crush our children's hearts; they would never recover.

She knows all this by the way, but with that money nagging at the back of her brain, she will not be able to resist the temptation. Her women friends would start picking and nagging at her. Every little irritation she feels against me, which she would normally squelch immediately, she will no longer feel forced to squelch.

When you don't have a lot of money, you carry this thought in your mind at all times: "I can't afford to let myself feel resentment against my spouse for little things. I must keep a roof over my head and food in our stomaches and the slightest fuckup would be fatal. For the sake of my children, I will stay strong". But when you get rich, you no longer have to be strong. You can succumb.

So anyway, that's why I don't pursue wealth. She isn't able to pursue wealth on her own (that's one of the reasons I married her: she's brilliant and artistic but has no money sense whatsoever).

We have a nice life, a lovely life, but not rich. Middle class is still best. I will keep us there at least until the kids are grown, then maybe it will be safe to make a lot of money.

[Carlos100]

It's counterintuitive, but when your wife asks you if she can buy something expensive, like a new tablet computer, coat, or purse, you should say no two out of three times. You will be surprised how much she respects you for it. Don't be afraid to say no. Even if you can afford it, say no on principle.

[The Beast1]

Haha! Great advice! I dated a solid 8 who didn't like being told no. I told her no so many times because I don't have the money.

She hated it and broke up with me. Bang me a few times outside of the LTR and then asked for me back because I help keep her "grounded". I said no (3 times).

Saying no to a woman feels good.

[MrLemon]

(11-27-2014 12:53 PM)Carlos100 Wrote:  

It's counterintuitive, but when your wife asks you if she can buy something expensive, like a new tablet computer, coat, or purse, you should say no two out of three times. You will be surprised how much she respects you for it. Don't be afraid to say no. Even if you can afford it, say no on principle.

Thank you for saying something so important, and with few words! I wish I could be that concise

[WestIndianArchie]

You stay poor to control your wife?

I'm not buying it

[samsamsam]

(11-27-2014 12:50 PM)MrLemon Wrote:  

My wife is a lovely woman: infinitely kind, a fierce protector of our children, treats me like gold. That's why I don't allow her to be rich.

Because you see, she watches all those crappy family-destroying TV shows...Sex in the City, The Good Wife; and she reads the endless swell of crappy novels which encourage modern women's apparently boundless appetite for self-absorption at the expense of their families. She can't help any of this. She's a woman. That stuff is irresistible to her. It's just her nature.

Now, I could provide her with a lot of money...let's say...I go back to building technology companies. Maybe I build and sell a little startup and get 3-5 million in our pockets. I could do this, I know exactly how.

But I won't. Because with 3-5 million in our pockets, her eyes will gleam, her honorable and virtuous heart will be corrupted, and she will decide that, with all the money, she could "be all she wants to be". She's simply not able to resist the siren call of narcissism, and she is helpless in the face of relentless advertising. "Abandon your kids. Abandon your family. Be rich and famous".

She'll do that calculation in the back of her head, that calculation that every woman on the planet is genetically wired to make. She'll figure out that she doesn't need me any more. She could divorce me and have enough money to live splendidly.

By the way, she doesn't WANT to divorce me. We are as happy a couple as ever existed. We married out of sheer love and have built a wonderful family with kids that make our hearts soar every time we see them. She loves it all. Divorce would crush our children's hearts; they would never recover.

She knows all this by the way, but with that money nagging at the back of her brain, she will not be able to resist the temptation. Her women friends would start picking and nagging at her. Every little irritation she feels against me, which she would normally squelch immediately, she will no longer feel forced to squelch.

When you don't have a lot of money, you carry this thought in your mind at all times: "I can't afford to let myself feel resentment against my spouse for little things. I must keep a roof over my head and food in our stomaches and the slightest fuckup would be fatal. For the sake of my children, I will stay strong". But when you get rich, you no longer have to be strong. You can succumb.

So anyway, that's why I don't pursue wealth. She isn't able to pursue wealth on her own (that's one of the reasons I married her: she's brilliant and artistic but has no money sense whatsoever).

We have a nice life, a lovely life, but not rich. Middle class is still best. I will keep us there at least until the kids are grown, then maybe it will be safe to make a lot of money.

Though I am not married, this is exactly my plan. Stay middle class. She will take my last name, we will have a pre-nup. Even if I am loaded, I will have to create some job for myself to give the illusion of a little struggle. What fun is winning a game if never challenged, I think my children and wife will appreciate life much more if it feels like we "struggle" to make ends meet a little. Once my kids are old enough and I think they are mature enough, I'll introduce them to certain things to give them a taste of what is possible but they need to earn it. Hopefully, I will have instilled a strong work ethic, common sense and a internal core that is not easily influenced by the nonsense in this world.

[SteveMcMahon]

Some good points OP, but...

Why not just make the money and not let your wife know too much about your finances?

It's what I do. My wife is a good woman, but women always think if you have money, that's how much they have to spend. If she knew what I had in my savings account, or that I have a savings account, suddenly she'd find an urgent need for the house to be remodelled or something.

I give her housekeeping money every week so she can buy groceries, baby things, etc. and a little extra for her to go to luch with her friends. All in cash - no credit cards, so she can always physically see how much she has to spend, and isn't tempted to get into debt.

My bank statements are all online and she doesn't have access - I make the money, so it's mine to manage.

You'll need to retire some day, so if you can make a few million between now and then, it beats worrying about your pennies when you're old.

[Saweeep]

(11-27-2014 01:41 PM)SteveMcMahon Wrote:  

Some good points OP, but...

Why not just make the money and not let your wife know too much about your finances?

It's what I do. My wife is a good woman, but women always think if you have money, that's how much they have to spend. If she knew what I had in my savings account, or that I have a savings account, suddenly she'd find an urgent need for the house to be remodelled or something.

I give her housekeeping money every week so she can buy groceries, baby things, etc. and a little extra for her to go to luch with her friends. All in cash - no credit cards, so she can always physically see how much she has to spend, and isn't tempted to get into debt.

My bank statements are all online and she doesn't have access - I make the money, so it's mine to manage.

You'll need to retire some day, so if you can make a few million between now and then, it beats worrying about your pennies when you're old.

Are you my dad??

[Yano]

This limits yourself. If I had a son that told me that he could make 3-5 mil but he is not going to because he fears that his wife will change, then I raised him wrong.

[Saga]

(11-27-2014 12:53 PM)Carlos100 Wrote:  

It's counterintuitive, but when your wife asks you if she can buy something expensive, like a new tablet computer, coat, or purse, you should say no two out of three times. You will be surprised how much she respects you for it. Don't be afraid to say no. Even if you can afford it, say no on principle.

Interestingly I've heard people give this exact advice for raising children...for kids to respect their parents they need to learn how to deal with the answer "no", even if (or especially when) it's something their parents can afford.

Makes you think....

[rudebwoy]

This mindset is beautiful, I almost married a woman like this.

[SteveMcMahon]

(11-27-2014 01:52 PM)CrashBangWallop Wrote:  

Are you my dad??

Junior...?

[Sidney Crosby]

My uncles kind of like this, he probably nets about a 100k a year and has the house and cars paid for but always pretends like they don't have much money to my aunt. They go on vacations and eat out all the time but when it comes to any big purchase "we can't afford it"

[RasCharlamagne]

Idk man, that sounds like a horrible idea. Taking your wife out of the equation, you're just bragging about being poor, all in an effort to control her.

[Lemmo]

I keep my wife morbidly obese and cover her face with prison tats so no other man will want her.

[Chivas989]

"I go back to building technology companies. Maybe I build and sell a little startup and get 3-5 million in our pockets. I could do this, I know exactly how."

I'm more interested in this! Can you expand? :-)

[TigerMandingo]

(11-27-2014 03:01 PM)RasCharlamagne Wrote:  

Idk man, that sounds like a horrible idea. Taking your wife out of the equation, you're just bragging about being poor, all in an effort to control her.

I don't think you read the post. He didn't say he was poor.

[Lemmo]

(11-27-2014 03:06 PM)Cunnilinguist Wrote:  

(11-27-2014 03:01 PM)RasCharlamagne Wrote:  

Idk man, that sounds like a horrible idea. Taking your wife out of the equation, you're just bragging about being poor, all in an effort to control her.

I don't think you read the post. He didn't say he was poor.

Isn't that the title of the post? It isn't "keeping my wife middle class".

[Helmutnl]

Yeah this idea is cool, women would behave much more feminine and tactful when they are told that they're not that well-off.
Like how in EE, they would give more than what they take or demand..

[Carlos100]

Remember, womens' roles are to help make families work when the ends don't meet. In evolutionary psychology, when the men were bringing home barely enough bacon to keep the family fed, it was the women who somehow found a way to keep the kids clothed and fed. In times of abundance, women are lost. They don't have as much purpose. They do better when they have to struggle.

[Tactician]

[alphaspiraton]

Come on OP, this is just terrible advice. Limiting your true potential for 1 pussy? What if she divorces you anyway, will you then commit suicide because you have put so much cost into the relationship (opportunity cost of not making millions of $ as you claim).

Chances are if she is watching those girl power shows, then she is already eyeing a dude that is above you, i.e. the guy that already has the $5-$10 million from selling his company, that can provide her with the lifestyle that she wants or yearns after.

[jimukr104]

Quote:

Haha! Great advice! I dated a solid 8 who didn't like being told no. I told her no so many times because I don't have the money.

She hated it and broke up with me. Bang me a few times outside of the LTR and then asked for me back because I help keep her "grounded". I said no (3 times).

Saying no to a woman feels good.

True good points. But I am confused. If she is a girl you are dating why the fuck do you have to spend money on her? and why does she ask? sounds too much Greek Kamaki like lol.

OP story is different because he is with a life partner. But I relate in a way. I have about 2 million but I am frugal as shit! I know how women get spoiled and I always say NO. NO NO NO. My wife hates it..but god forbid I say yes. She has a tendency to want milk with her cookies. She gets her way she will try to get more..Ukrainian after all lol. So a NO policy is best!

Quote:

Like how in EE, they would give more than what they take or demand..

Which part is that? In FSU they try to get everything they can from you lol.

Quote:

Divorce would crush our children's hearts; they would never recover.

BS..wishful thinking. They would get over it. Especially after they hear they are each getting 1 million dollars. Most guys here would push their parents for a divorce is they would get a big monetary reward.

[The Beast1]

(11-27-2014 05:52 PM)jimukr104 Wrote:  

Quote:

Haha! Great advice! I dated a solid 8 who didn't like being told no. I told her no so many times because I don't have the money.

She hated it and broke up with me. Bang me a few times outside of the LTR and then asked for me back because I help keep her "grounded". I said no (3 times).

Saying no to a woman feels good.

True good points. But I am confused. If she is a girl you are dating why the fuck do you have to spend money on her? and why does she ask? sounds too much Greek Kamaki like lol.

[/quote]

Ha! I wish I had the money for the Greek Kamaki lifestyle.

When a girl is asking you to go to a club named Klink ($20 cover) to see some no name DJ and grab drinks (~30-40$) when neither of you have cash you learn to say no quickly.

[Helmutnl]

(11-27-2014 05:52 PM)jimukr104 Wrote:  

Quote:

Like how in EE, they would give more than what they take or demand..

Which part is that? In FSU they try to get everything they can from you lol.

But it's a well known fact that average Eastern European women tend to be more feminine than Western ones and give more than what they demand (Not the scammer ones well!).