Quote: (10-30-2016 03:37 PM)Khan Wrote:
1) Tempo of escalation. Let's say I'm interested in a girl I regularly meet at some class, once, maybe even twice per week. I start chatting, flirting etc. and I obviously want to number-close as fast as possible before moving on. On one hand, it would be awkward if I asked for her number the first time I met her, but on the other hand, I risk being friend-zoned if I move too slow. Is there some guideline on this?
To me you cannot be clasically friendzoned if you flirt with the girl cause that's how you let her know you're attracted to her. She knows that once you're both in private place it's likely you will escalate. I'm not talking about this innocent flirting I sometimes see in the office. I'm talking about being suggestive, using innuendos, throwing glances, etc.
I'd exchange numbers
for social reasons. By social reasons I mean just to be in touch with her to be able to go out with other people. For example, you want to invite her to your weekly event or to go see new venues etc. Then I'd game her.
Quote: (10-30-2016 03:37 PM)Khan Wrote:
2) When you get rejected, there's always the risk word will get out to other members of the social group. Since there's no way of avoiding rejections, how do you keep a low profile? And what do you do when word does get out? I don't want to be constrained in my options when pursuing girls.
It happens when you're average Joe day by day and then you start courting the girl [or few at once]. That's when you can get rejected and if you do the word spreads and you're *that* guy.
The best way to avoid that and come off completely different is to be sexy flirty guy in general as if it's your way of being. Like when you can game a secretary in your school, a cleaning lady in your office, any girl you come across no matter how beautiful or ugly.
When you communicate on that level with ALL girls then you're safe. And I'm not talking about some over the top provocative verbal game. I mean saying stuff like "hey that's a very nice dress Suzy, what a pleasant surprise, you know women these days turn into men the way they dress, they could learn from you what it means to be a women, keep it that way, please...". A typical thing I'd tell a girl.
So you can either engage girls by talking about them or you can just say what what you think about random topics related to sexual side of life. For instance, every girl who knows me now heard too many times already that I love high heels, color red, certain dresses, long legs, long hair, women in sunglasses, certain perfumes, uncovered neck, etc etc. It's because I talke about that stuff too much probably. That's what it means to have intent. You express your sexual side in conversation on regular basis.
So that's how girls know what I'm about. It's not like I'm this ok guy who suddenly becomes interested in a girl and turns on his intent. No. It's a constant thing. A girl in office stands up to go somewhere as I'm walking by I stop and extend my elbow for her to take it so I can walk her somewhere. Stuff like that. It's innocent enough that nobody can call me out on it but still suggestive enough that she feels quite excited. Or a girl walks past me, I look at her shoes [snickers] and shake my head as if I'm dismissive, she laughs cause she knows I dislike it.
It means nothing really but it's man to woman communication, not friend to friend. I go to kitchen and my colleague is there, I say "you again? stop following me, you don't want to make girls X jealous.." so she's like "and maybe I AM following you, you're complaining? I got my nails ready for any girl who will start shit with me..". We both know it's just a bullshit small talk about nothing with sexual undertone but it's fun, way better than "so... how's it going today".
I'm not like that everytime with every girl of course but it's there. This is the opposite of sniper game. It's like trying to catch fish by throwing huge net into the water to catch them all instead of using fishing pole to get just that one hot fish.
So if I am like that regularly with different girls in general so it's impossible to distinguish if I'm going after specific girl or not. I cannot be "rejected" cause I'm not courting anyone. I'm just fun to talk to. It's refreshing.
Quote: (10-30-2016 03:37 PM)Khan Wrote:
3) How do you use money to increase your appeal without a) acting snobbishly and b) becoming a beta provider? I earn a lot from both my job and rents so I would like to use this to my advantage, but the social status of my profession is mediocre. I'm not a doctor or pilot.
Do not use money to impress some girl. Just show that money is not a big deal to you. I'm not making that much but I hate to be a cheap fuck. Often time I spend too much but I do it for my own fun and I just tag along a girl I'm with at a time. It's like I'm talking about stuff I like to do and suddenly I go "hey you know what? Actually I'll go XYZ swimming complex today, wanna come with me? it's gonna be great". I do it spontaneously and very casually. There's no trying to cater to a girl's whims. It's tought to explain it in a post, I hope you know what I mean. Anytime you're with a girl and you want to spend money just be very casual about it like it's nothing to you, like you just had an idea to do something.
Quote: (10-30-2016 03:37 PM)Khan Wrote:
4) Efficient time-management of your activities. I'm currently in a rut when it comes to my social life, as I've lost some friends and acquaintances over the last year. I do plan to expand my social circle - in the near future I intend to take a Russian course and involve myself in some political activities within a local conservative organization, but here comes the problem of time. I work a 40-hour week and I my free time is limited. Do you have some tips on this? Expanding your social circle as much as possible, quality-wise, without losing too much time?
I know what you mean. I tend to be very inquisitive about things and events that people invite me to. I hate going out to waste it in some bullshit place. I ask about location, people there, plans for later, etc etc. That's how I filter out stupid.
Some time ago I wasn't going to before parties. This is very common where I'm from. People meet up at 10pm to drink in their house until midnight then they go out. If I knew they will go to club I met them there after midnight. This way I had more time. Besides I knew they will come in happy mood whether I was there in house party with them or not so I felt no difference by skipping it.
As for lack of time it sucks I know. I go to work, I work out, I swim, I make music, I'm never bored. The way I go about it I try to tag along people to acompany me as much as I can. So lately two girls joined me when I go to swimming pool, others go with me to gym, others even go with me when I go buy groceries and we hit the mall together and have a good time [we might cook together after that also, I have to eat sometimes too haha].
So that's how it looks from my point of view.
I'm open to other questions if anyone has some.
