[kaeru]

Banged this Asian broad a few days ago.

Unlike most of your stories, she was not even fat. Hell, she had a rather nice body with shapely tits and a firm ass. I'd say a solid 7.

However she had a huge squared shape head, weird eyes and some kind of a nasty smile that would scare a kid more than any bedside ghost stories I can remember.

The worst thing about this bang is she had some sort of a knee problem, so I couldn't do her from behind. I had to do it missionary style.
That, plus her extremely passive attitude is what did me in. I went limp halfway. Seems like we do think with our dicks after all...

Later that night she tried to "warm me up", but I told her I didn't feel like putting on a condom again. Good thing she was not into raw sex.

[Palo_alto]

6 months ago in Santiago. 37 year old single mother, met through Tinder.

We matched, we chat, we exchange numbers. She instantly started sending me nude pics through whastapp. She looked like a solid 6-7, nice tits, nice skin, green eyes. I wondered why a chic like this was gonna be so easy. She invite me over to puff the dragon and drink mojitos. Heck, I had no pun for about a month and had nothing better that memorable tuesday night.

She lived in a shit part of the city so I took a taxi, 40 min later she opened the door. Jesus fucking christ. Here we go.

She was really short maybe 1.45cm - 80 kg. She looked like¨chunk¨from the goonies, no joke. I have no idea why did I enter this piece of shit apartment. Anyway, we smoke a blunt, she had to put her daughter to sleep (40 min). I had like 3 or 4 shots of rum while she was at it. She came back and give me a BJ. I was pretty high and at some point I thought a little chubby boy was sucking my dick, fuck this was terrible. I could not even look. She was good at it though.

She wanted missionary but this was not going to happen, her rolls were disgusting, had to go doggy. Man her ass smelled so fucking bad, I literally cover my nose and fucked her as hard and quick as I could. I finish and bounce back.

She is sending me nude pics almost everyday, what a charm.

[Rawmeo]

A chick who doesn't know how to use a bum gun properly will never see my head near her pussy. I don't even have toilet paper in my house, and it will continue to remain like that.

[eradicator]

(08-21-2014 10:36 PM)General Mayhem Wrote:  

The first thing I did the next morning was throw my comforter in the wash and take a shower.

I thought you were going to say that the first thing you were going to do was throw that comforter in the furnace.

My worst would have to be a single mum, somewhat chubby that was a total slob. I mean disgusting. She had me over and her living room was infested with fleas. I got her into the bedroom and fucked her and left. The oddest part was that she had really bad hygiene in her cooter, a combination of poor hydration and poor nutrition. I went down on her anyways, I was breaking a dry spell and didn't give a fuck. The sex was not good- this was years ago, the things we do while on dry spells.

[Moto]

I banged this Italian girl a while back. It's astonishing the effect putting on some pounds will do. I can search her modeling pictures on Google images and she seems she must be a solid 9. The hottest girl I've banged. Except that she put on at least 30 pounds since those modeling pics. The weight put her down into 6-land. And her ass smelt horrible, even after a shower! Her hair was falling out in places, I later realized! Gave amazing head though. Would it break forum rules to post how to search her, just to show how damned hot she USED to be?

[Roardog]

(09-21-2015 07:05 AM)Moto Wrote:  

I banged this Italian girl a while back. It's astonishing the effect putting on some pounds will do. I can search her modeling pictures on Google images and she seems she must be a solid 9. The hottest girl I've banged. Except that she put on at least 30 pounds since those modeling pics. The weight put her down into 6-land. And her ass smelt horrible, even after a shower! Her hair was falling out in places, I later realized! Gave amazing head though. Would it break forum rules to post how to search her, just to show how damned hot she USED to be?

Hair falling out!? Did she have cancer or some kind of disease or something?

I don't know how some of you guys managed to keep it up with some of these lizards.

[eradicator]

Hopefully she didn't have HIV. wtf

[Laner]

I am so happy this thread is back.

I am in tears here

[Laner]

A few Christmases ago I was out with one of my best friends. We dont live in the same town anymore but met up where our parents live. It was going to be an epic night on the piss but at around 10pm I meet a couple of girls who were down for a bang. In my buzzed state, I must have forgot to mention this to my buddy, so he has no idea I have already negotiated with the girls for him to join in the orgy.

I get their male orbiter to drive me and the two chicks to one of their apartments and my buddy gets a ride from another guy. I am up in the apartment now with two naked chicks, and partying like a mofo. My buddy is down in the truck not sure if he wants to come up to play video games (apparently I told him were going to play FIFA).

Eventually he comes up and knocks and is pulled in by one of the girls, naked with a nose full of blow and I am standing in the living room getting blown and drinking Jack.

He wastes no time and starts eating this chick out and I rail her friend doggy style. Things get crazy and all of a sudden I am staring at a bald chick. My girl had pulled off this other chicks wig and she is shiny bald and now looks like a teenage boy. I start howling and laughing and my buddy looks up and freaks out while these girls start making out like it was air. I can feel their interest start to wane in us and my buddy has already lost his hard on so I hammer it hard to finish up. As this girl starts moaning and howling I hear what sounds like an echo coming from another room. Nope, its this bald chicks daughter copying the sound she makes when coming.

These might not have been the most 'busted' chicks, though one was bald and let an orgy happen just a wall away from her daughter and niece who was babysitting.

[Sidney Crosby]

Was supposed to meet this girl off tinder at a club, she looked "ok" in the pics and I was traveling. Didn't see her inside and I'm not gonna just sit around and wait for her, met some other chick on the dance floor and was making out with her and tried to get her home, she said she couldn't because she's super catholic and she actually stopped mid-makeout to see if I was religious.

Anyway, club closes and I walk outside after getting her number (might as well) and this chick is calling my name, so I walk over and she's with a few friends. Her guy friend says "you should fuck him" and I'm just happy he's not trying to cock block, I think he just wanted to get rid of her so he could isolate the other chick. So I tell her lets go and we walk back to the place I was staying at about 15 minutes away, hoping she might magically lose 30lbs during the walk.

She was sucking me off but her being overweight and me being drunk as fuck was making it difficult. Finally I started banging her but I was only at like 60% and to be honest I didn't even know if I was inside her or it was just my dick rubbing against her thunder thighs, still finished so what difference does it make to me. She hung around till the morning and I thought I'd give it another go but when morning came I just wanted to get her out of there unseen.

Funny thing is, when I first talked to her she was like "Am I ok?" as if saying, "I know I'm fat and probably a 4/10 but will you fuck me anyway?"

[PapayaTapper]

The good thing about alcohol, weed and blow is they can make hot girls prone to bad decisions




The bad thing about alcohol, weed and blow is they can make me prone to bad decisions...like fucking a sea donkey

[Rawmeo]

I forgot to mention my loosest pussy ever, 1 year ago. I was in my home country and met this 35 y.o. single mom. Nothing wrong with her appearances, until I start fingering her. Pussy a bit bigger than usual... 2 fingers... then 3 fingers, and ultimately all of them and it was feeling kind of ankward. Until...

I slip the rubber on, and get in. I couldn't even feel the pussy at all. Soft on. Even a black guy wouldn't have cut it. I had a few ideas, like removing the condom, putting tissues around my dick and put the condom on top, try to push her pussy lips together, etc. but I just let it go and came with a blowjob.

That was the first time it ever happened. I don't know what was wrong with her, but I would have been able to probably put my whole body inside, and give birth to myself.

[realologist]

I just had one recently. Her face was pretty beat. I would say a 4/10 but her body a 7/10. A true butter face.

Her pussy was crazy good though and she gets my dick really fired up. I want to keep her in rotation. I wasn't on a cold streak either. Some thing about her just gets me going.

The worst part is now that I hit it she sends me face pictures almost every day.

[Remington]

I was on OKC one night about 5 months ago. I was drunk and horny. She was a 19 year old asian girl. Her profile pictures lacked a body shot so I knew right away she was a little heavier. She sent puss pictures along with her masturbating. Thought it was hot so I invited her over. The girl had some trouble parking so I met her outside. When I saw her, she was massive. She looked like if I punched a manatee in the nose and made her look like an undersea pug. She drove an hour and a half to come over. I did my routine show of my apartment. My room was last so I took her there and ended up railing the shit out of her while she moaned in Korean.

After she left, I felt as if she took a piece of my soul. But then, I took solace in the fact that she was a Korean flag I never had and was 6 years younger. But, she was still a pretty large girl where I'd have to be black out drunk to fuck. I was near that point so I let my dick do the talking.

[civpro]

Probably my first lay ever. Oh well, it had to be done. Learn how to walk before you run. Or in her case, waddle...

[Grodin]

I'm open to dating women a little bit on the chubby side, and when I first discovered I was ok with this my mind opened up a bit too wide. I basically threw my old notions about skinny=better aside and looked at women differently... seeing something I liked about most women. If I like her eyes, I thought, maybe I could F her. Etc.

Big mistake. Ended up banging a Big Mistake who was so large I couldn't reach through the padding without lifting shit out of the way. She did give good head but even after nutting down her throat I was disgusted to be in her presence. It was a one-off and since then I've had a good feel for what "too fat" means for me.

[Jones]

(08-21-2014 05:34 PM)Moma Wrote:  

With all these threads about hot dimes, lizards etc, I can remember the most busted lizard I ever poked. She was a Newfie and I had met her online. She was in her late 30s with kids etc.

The first time I banged her was in her car in the parking lot behind Shoppers DrugMart. She required more sexual romance and I linked her at her apartment once. When she stripped for me in broad daylight, I was disgusted at her pools of flesh spilling out of her garter. She wasn't even that fat, she just had no body tone.

I was even more disgusted at my own erection, strong and sturdy. I came quickly to avoid prolonging the visual misery.

So what about you? What's the most busted lizard y'all have poked?

Ah, yes, my native homeland.

A friend of mine slept with a lizard once that nearly matches your description (Newfie, late 30s, kids, not that fat, just no body tone). That sums up the majority of women on this island actually.

God placed all the busted lizards of earth on this island of sodomy.

[Leonard D Neubache]

I had a full-retard crush on a chick I was working with and in fairness she was mindblowing, but also riddled with insecurity issues and saddled with a terminally beta boyfriend. I went to a party at her place and it turned out she had an ugly sister. Since I was more than a little drunk, I conjured up the plan of dating the sister as a means to stir up some healthy inter-sibling jealousy and seal the deal with my intended target. Arranged a date and went home to sleep off the booze.

Went to meet the sister the next day, and Christ if she wasn't twice as ugly as I remembered. We're talking flabby, oily, put-in-a-tumble-drier-as-a-baby ugly.

"Just stick to the plan" I thought, fighting through the nausea by imagining the rewards that awaited me upon the fruition of my scheme.

First date. Failed to close.
Second date. Failed to close.
Third date. Nearly. Failed to close.

Wake up to get ready for the fourth date and it suddenly dawns on me that I have a fuck-ugly girlfriend that's costing me money and I'm not even getting laid.



Fucking Kharma, right? Dumped her, bought a new sports bike and got laid later that week (after my ass got too sore from riding 14 hours a day).

The moral of the story is this: The only thing more shameful than banging a fugly chick is trying to bang a fugly chick and being rejected.

[RunsWithScissors]

I went through some low-hanging fruit right after my divorce, until I got some sense and realized I could do way better. I was just happy to be having sex again, honestly. The worst was a single mom, overweight, and pregnant. She wasn't horribly ugly and was actually a sweet girl who just made a ton of bad decisions. Found her on Craigslist, went to her place one night while her kids were away, apartment was a mess. Almost immediately went up to her room and got naked. She sucked me to get me hard, I fucked her doggy, and like many others have reported came in just a couple minutes like my dick was helping me get out of there fast. I tossed the condom in the trash, stayed a few minutes then bailed and didn't hear from her again.

[Germanicus]

I wasted way too many years of my life living in a small town that catered to the Army. The dick to vag ratio was easily a good 8 to 1 but the dude to hot chick ratio was 40 to 1. Fat chicks had high standards and 7's acted like 10's and 8 and 9's acted like they were 15's. A good solid dude who was a 7 or 8 either dumpster dived or bled himself white for the the (very temporary) affections of the 7+ girls.

I never banged a fatty fat chick, but I hustled my ass for 6+'s. This inevitably led to me getting to bang, in addition to the odd normally attractive girl, a few fit but above 40 cougars, chubby girls on the downward spiral towards obesity, bone skinny and plain faced chicks, and single mothers-- lots and lots of single moms. Such is the destiny of many a young man who joins the army in these terrible times and gets posted to a backwoods base.

A couple of times I got tricked. Not horror story shemale tricked. But you think it's going well and that the girl is decent looking so you'd never expect that once you got into the bedroom and the clothes came off you'd get an eyeful of one of these wonderful items:

A gunt (I knew you were chubby and I thought you had an extra 25 pounds you need to lose but you had on a corset this whole time? The fuck?)

Serious stretch marks (You've had one fucking kid. One. And you're 29 years old. How the fuck is your stomach this gross?)

Saggy tits (You are 22 years old. You have the tits of a fifty year old New Guinea tribeswoman from the pages of National Geographic.)

I had a dry spell once that was interrupted with a stretch mark single mom followed up by a stretch mark single mom who was chubby and had awful tattoos. I flipped each onto their stomachs and pounded them from behind to avoid looking at the ugly purple marks. The skinny chick's stretch marked lower abdomen was more like a miscolored face full of acne craters and scar tissue than an actual human stomach. Chubby bitch had to take out her tampon and came to bed topless wearing size large booty panties. I was very pissed off with my dick for still being up for tagging both. I never got back in touch with either after the fact. Numbers deleted and a good long look in the mirror.

After, I resolved not to do that to myself ever again. The dry spell was next interrupted by gunt bitch then saggy tit sloot. In both cases my disgust got the better of me and I finally did the sensible thing; walk out on both of them and go home and jerk off to internet porn.

Thank god I no longer live in that horrible town.

[Roardog]

God I love this thread.

[El Padrone]

At least I now know I'm not alone. *deep sighs*

[El Padrone]

Senors, im looking for the thread where a guy describes meeting up with his gf and her friends and they go on to have a threesome at an apartment he was to quit the next day. Thay had some weed and he couldnt get it up.

An evergreen for me, any help?

Gracias

[Oz.]

The exact circumstances this came about cannot be explained, but, this one time a chick I knew for a while broke up with her long time boyfriend and she was depressed so as a friend I did the only thing I could... fuck her without remorse.

She was about 60 pounds heavier than me with a body that resembled a Narwhal. As most brave men in my position have done before me, I hit it from behind. There I was bashing myself against this ass that resembled a water bed each time contact was made, when suddenly I began to question all my life decisions prior to this, ultimately leading me to fuck her even harder.

The anger I felt at myself was so much I could not muster up the will to ejaculate but eventually I did. She laid there next to me talking about her problems while I stared into the void. She left my house pretty quickly after that and we have not spoken ever since

[BlackFriar]

The first time I fucked, when I was 21. Oh God! I do not know what was worse? How lonely I was? Or how butt fucking ugly her face was? I could put four fingers in her snatch, with out even warming her up.

The bitch could be fisted dry. She was that loose....good times.