[kosko]

A girl I used to fool around with I was 90% sure she was spawned by some random Cuban guy. She looks nothing like her father or two brothers, and everything like her mom with some Spanish tossed in. Surprise surprise her mom did a bunch of development work in Latin America and the Caribbean.

The father must know, no way he can be that clueless.

[Alpharius]

(06-15-2013 10:33 AM)kosko Wrote:  

A girl I used to fool around with I was 90% sure she was spawned by some random Cuban guy. She looks nothing like her father or two brothers, and everything like her mom with some Spanish tossed in. Surprise surprise her mom did a bunch of development work in Latin America and the Caribbean.

The father must know, no way he can be that clueless.

"It skipped a generation."

[rastignac]

Our friends at Ashley Madison concur.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/10...17949.html

[samsamsam]

(06-16-2013 01:02 PM)rastignac Wrote:  

Our friends at Ashley Madison concur.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/10...17949.html

According to AshleyMadison.com, many dads will be spending Father's Day with children they didn't spawn.

Yes, you read that right. The dating site, which targets married people looking to cheat on their spouses, surveyed 102,137 of its philandering female members about whether or not they had ever become pregnant with another man's child and passed the baby off as their husband's.

Nine percent admitted that they had done so, and that their husbands are not aware of it. An additional 16 percent admitted that they're not positive about who fathered one or more of their kids. And among the women in those two groups, 72.4 percent revealed that it's their youngest child whose father is in question.

And that's not all -- the press release also points out that the day after Father's Day is one of the busiest days of the year for the site -- possibly because of these paternity issues.

"Perhaps on a subconscious level, some of these men have come to recognize the family in front of them may not be progeny of their own. In that instance, an affair can become a form of retaliation," site founder Noel Biderman said in a press release.

We're not quite sure what to make of these findings, but we do know one thing: Ashley Madison sure is making a name for itself in the arena of infidelity "research." Click through the slideshow below to test your knowledge of more cheating statistics from the site and elsewhere.

[kdolo]

(06-15-2013 10:33 AM)kosko Wrote:  

A girl I used to fool around with I was 90% sure she was spawned by some random Cuban guy. She looks nothing like her father or two brothers, and everything like her mom with some Spanish tossed in. Surprise surprise her mom did a bunch of development work in Latin America and the Caribbean.

The father must know, no way he can be that clueless.

A lot of guys do know and accept it - for the time being - especially if there are multiple kids involved.

they don't want to harm the two that he knows are his by breaking up the family over the the third.

plus the economic and legal considerations of divorcce make it hard for guys to break up the family.

[sheesh]

20% to 25% seems extremely high, I've heard of percentages ranging from 1 to 10 %.

Given how many people obviously seem to cheat in relationships , it shouldn't come as a surprise though.

[sheesh]

(06-14-2013 02:47 PM)j r Wrote:  

I've noticed that kids, when their born, bear an uncanny resemblance to the father. I don't know why, maybe it's evolutionary.

You are fooling yourself. Newborn babies don't have any specific facial characteristics, they all look the same, except from tone of skin/ hair color.

It's mainly the subconscious desire of the father to want the kid to be his. Also, the women in the family will always point out how the kid looks just like his father ( but never like the mother). This phenomenon can be found across all cultures and it's a subconscious/ biological thing people are not even aware of.

Men have always been suspicious of their fatherhood.

[cardguy]

Here is a nice article looking into this.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/articl...esemblance

And despite the evolutionary reasons for such a resemblence between the baby and the father to exist - research suggests there isn't one.

[kdolo]

(06-16-2013 05:22 PM)sheesh Wrote:  

It's mainly the subconscious desire of the father to want the kid to be his. Also, the women in the family will always point out how the kid looks just like his father ( but never like the mother). This phenomenon can be found across all cultures and it's a subconscious/ biological thing people are not even aware of.

But it is possible that that subconscious desire itself and the female reaction is an evolutionary adaptation ?????

[Tytalus]

(06-14-2013 01:23 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

I will admit your links on how to find a wife on the 7 and 8's thread was pretty solid. I imagine, the women with the qualities mentioned in those articles would have a rate much closer to 0.

Sorry, the links were solid and would lead to a 10, not 0? I'm not sure if you had a typo or not there.

[CJ_W]

(06-14-2013 03:24 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

There are two separate issues.

Your wife betraying you.

And raising another man's kid.

Let's say you got a phone call when your kid was 6 years old. Saying the kid was mixed up with another one.

Would you want to keep the kid. Or swap him for your real son?

I would swap him for my real son.

Period.

I'm not here to please other people. So, I really wouldn't care about his feelings. Besides, he'll eventually get over it.

[Exactaking]

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/comm...8762.story

Tl;dr but jist is it is more evolved to be a cuckhold

[TheBlackNarwhal]

This is very believable, my mother had my three other siblings by the time she married my dad and had me. My sister also had three kids before marrying her husband and having a son with him. Seems to be a rather negative trait in my family, but I know a lot more families with similar situations.

[j r]

(06-16-2013 05:22 PM)sheesh Wrote:  

(06-14-2013 02:47 PM)j r Wrote:  

I've noticed that kids, when their born, bear an uncanny resemblance to the father. I don't know why, maybe it's evolutionary.

You are fooling yourself. Newborn babies don't have any specific facial characteristics, they all look the same, except from tone of skin/ hair color.

It's mainly the subconscious desire of the father to want the kid to be his. Also, the women in the family will always point out how the kid looks just like his father ( but never like the mother). This phenomenon can be found across all cultures and it's a subconscious/ biological thing people are not even aware of.

Men have always been suspicious of their fatherhood.

Why would I be subconsciously fooling myself about other people's kids? That makes no sense.

[N°6]

(06-14-2013 01:30 PM)Ensam Wrote:  

On a related note there's an immense amount of pressure to convince dads that they look like their kids. My exes cousin got knocked up. She swore up and down that it was her fiances. When the child was born the doctor even pointed out that the kid had some facial feature in common with the fiance that was supposedly pretty rare. In a brief moment of clarity the fiance decided to have a paternity test and the kid wasn't his. Then the cousin said oh, it must be this other guy I got drunk with one night. He got tested, wasn't his. She then went through 3 other guys until finally finding the father. Her excuse for not being to identify the right father was, "I only remember us having anal sex". For some unknown reason the fiance ended up staying with her and agreeing to help raise the kid who wasn't his. It's a fucked up world.

Shocking.

[N°6]

The unspoken reality in the Western dating market is female serial monogamy which is financed by the divorce industry.

[Beyond Borders]

How about making it clear to women as soon as you get serious that you have a mandatory rule for paternity tests upon pregnancy. Get that shit out on the table ahead of time and it'll make it much easier to demand if the time ever comes.

[AntiTrace]

(06-15-2013 10:16 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

bad news if:

1) you sign the birth cert
2) are married to her (it's presumed yours)
3) don't get the vindicating paternity test within a certain time.

if you find out when the kid's st like 5 you're def fucked and on the hook for cs

You don't even have to sign the birth cert these days. My ex-wife and I unofficially separated 2 years or so into our marriage. Never officially got divorced, we just went our own happy ways.

A year later when I went to file the divorce paperwork, she found out she was pregnant and the judge would not allow the divorce prior to the birth. It didn't even matter that my ex straight up told the judge that it wasn't mine, her boyfriend was claiming paternity, and I wasn't contesting.

Fast forward 9 months when the little sex trophy pops out and guess who was listed on the birth certificate as the father? Yep, me. Even though I wasn't even in the same state as the hospital on the day of the birth. All because we were still legally married.

I had to present proof that I wasn't at the hospital (in the form of a bar tab timed 20 minutes before the birth and 200 miles away, judge loved that haha) and a paternity test.

That held my divorce off even longer, because I couldn't finalize it until proving the kid wasn't mine or face court ordered child support.

It was a pain in the ass even when I had a rock solid case.

[Beyond Borders]

(07-27-2013 07:00 AM)AntiTrace Wrote:  

I had to present proof that I wasn't at the hospital (in the form of a bar tab timed 20 minutes before the birth and 200 miles away, judge loved that haha) and a paternity test.

haha That's awesome.

[SpiderKing]

(06-14-2013 03:46 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

Indeed - if I did ever have kids. I would probably prefer to adopt one - that way I would feel like I am doing some good for the world.

Cardguy, you say that you'd feel like this would be beneficial to the world, but apart from deception, how is this any different from a cuckold, who is also raising another man's child?

Having been raised without a dad at home, I'm keenly aware of the resources needed to raise kids properly so as to give them the best advantages in life. I can't imagine investing my fatherhood on children who aren't advancing my genetic legacy.

Hopwever, if a close relative died and I was required to care for their children, I wouldn't mind doing it. Or if the same thing happened to a close friend and there were no family who could care for the kid. These would be the only two possibilities where I would "step up" to take care of someone else's child. That said I don't have kids now, so my sentiments toward any adoptive children could change once I have my own children.

*****

(06-14-2013 07:52 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  

(06-14-2013 07:28 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

Is the love that a father has for his child wholey dependent on it being his child?

Seems like quite a fragile form of love.

I wouldn't say the love is solely dependent on whether or not the child is biologically his, but this is why women hide it if they know it isn't - they allow him to bond with the child, so if he finds out, he's less likely to leave because he doesn't want to see the kid hurt, no matter how angry he is at her deception. And there are plenty of men that step up and raise a kid they know isn't theirs - some even take the step of legally adopting the kid. I don't think it's about the love being fragile - it's about which feeling is stronger in the individual. Is the feeling of betrayal and deception stronger, or is it the love for the child? It's a hell of a choice to have to make.

I hate how "step up," "honor," "chivalry" and other bromides have been hijacked to reward men for doing things that are not in their best interest.

The situation Timoteo is hypothesizing reminds me of dealings with manipulative people. Their victims wonder "I can't believe she did this, I thought we were friends." Wrong. You were dealing with a sociopath. You saw them as a friend, but they saw you as a mark.

[Nolecbo]

Remember the 80's song that celebrated some dude getting cuckolded?

And just in case anyone couldn't comprehend the lyrics they explicitly acted it out in the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAfxs0IDeMs


Heart - All I want To Do Is Make Love To You

It was a rainy night, when he came into sight,
standing by the road, with no umbrella, no coat,
so I pulled up along side, and I offered him a ride,
he accepted with a smile, so we drove for a while.
I didn't ask him his name, the lonely boy in rain,
fate tell me it's right, is it love at first sight?
Please don't make it wrong, just stay for the night.

Chorus
All I wanna do is make love to you,
say you will, you want me too,
all I wanna do is make love to you,
and your loving arms to hold onto.

So we found this hotel,
it was a place, I knew well.
We made magic that night,
oh he did everything right.
He brought the woman out of me,
so many times, easily.
And in the morning when he woke,
all I left him was a note,
I told him I am the flower,
you are the seed, we walked in the garden,
we planted a tree.
Don't try to find me, please don't you dare,
just live in my memory,
you'll always be there.

Chorus

We made love, love like strangers,
all night long, we made love.

Then it happened one day, we came 'round the same way.
You can imagine his suprise, when he saw his own eyes.
I said please, please understand,
I'm in love with another man,
and what he couldn't give me,
Ohhhh, was the one little thing that you can.

[Nolecbo]

I think the system isn't as random as we are treating it. I think women smile inwardly knowing that they can pick an alpha for his genetic material and a beta for his resources. The legal system has designed a structure giving the woman permission to keep the identity of the alpha secret and the continuing access to the resources of the beta.



The system isn't fair, but it is unfair in our (RVF members) favor. Does that merit much outrage on our part?

[samsamsam]

(07-27-2013 09:14 AM)SpiderKing Wrote:  

(06-14-2013 03:46 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

Indeed - if I did ever have kids. I would probably prefer to adopt one - that way I would feel like I am doing some good for the world.

Cardguy, you say that you'd feel like this would be beneficial to the world, but apart from deception, how is this any different from a cuckold, who is also raising another man's child?

Not speaking for Cardguy, but for me the difference is pretty obvious. The adopted child isn't a deception or a broken trust. Someone really wants to be a parent, to love a child and raise it well. Some people have that in them. Also, it may - if the parent is a good one - give the child a gift of a good parent vs a bad one who seems not to want the child but couldn't abort it. So the difference is choice, free choice not one made under misrepresentations.

[bacan]

Men on Strike says 3.7 or 3.85% which is along the lines of the 3.3% post on the first page of this thread.

[iknowexactly]

(06-17-2013 04:45 PM)TheBlackNarwhal Wrote:  

This is very believable, my mother had my three other siblings by the time she married my dad and had me. My sister also had three kids before marrying her husband and having a son with him. Seems to be a rather negative trait in my family, but I know a lot more families with similar situations.

It seems it may be evolutionarily beneficial to me. Your mother and sister have genetically diverse kids, therefore the chances of her genes surviving in, say, 1000 years is ( all other things being equal) possibly higher than if she had all the kids with one man, unless that one man was very superior.

=====

Another thing about the psychiatrist who said 20% of her clients had cuckold babies, her sample is probably women who are troubled to some degree and is thus biased. More women go to psychotherapy than men, and the guys would be less likely to know because their wives would lie.

If the woman had another man's kid, she can _never_ tell the husband but would want validation from someone. This is the type of thing that a psychotherapist is legally bound not to reveal to anyone, so it's one of the only safe places she could talk about it without much risk. You could easily lose your license if you ratted out some woman, and she sued you for violating confidentiality. The law is totally on her side.

Unless the woman was a full-on psychopath, she's going to have some guilt about this type of thing, and many of these women if they have the money could end up at a shrink.