I'm not looking for ltr right now, so I view them as exercise partners. In the gym I have someone I hoop with and another person that I lift with.Lifter does elliptical for cardio and hoops guy does convict conditioning type of exercise. For me, it is exhausting and boring to do both activities with each because there is at least one activity that I am not interested in doing.Also, it is bmade if I tell lifter that he cant do elliptical so he can save energy for our lifting or tell hoops guy that he cant do convict conditioning in order to save time for our basketball sessions.From a sex perspective if a chick is doing some s&m stuff, that I'm not interested in, with another dude then it is OK because I would derive no pleasure from taking that guys place in her sex life other than her being "my precious".

Quote: (12-20-2012 09:04 AM)snoop Wrote:  

Quote: (12-19-2012 05:56 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

Quote:Quote:

You say you don't like sluts but yet you pursue them. If you really didn't like sluts you would be at church looking for a girl instead of on this forum.

I'd love to, but those girls don't exist nowadays - at least not in the western culture. And that isn't my fault. I'm just adapting.

Other than that, spot on.

Sure they do, just not where you are looking for them.

And where should he look for them?

^^^
Under 20 years old, non-high end college (they get indoctrinated with feminism) and does not have a serious social circle yet.

The early 1900's. Other than that good luck.

Quote: (12-19-2012 05:56 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

those girls don't exist nowadays

Quote: (12-20-2012 09:04 AM)snoop Wrote:  

Sure they do, just not where you are looking for them.

Quote: (12-20-2012 12:16 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

And where should he look for them?

Short answer = everywhere you go and see women. Talk to them.

Long answer = Church is not a bad place to start. You have to seek out girls from more traditional backgrounds. Girls with a mother and father who are still together. Girls whose grandparents are still together. Girls who put family first. Girls who are first or second generation Americans. Girls with traditional values. Girls who respect their father and grandfather.

These girls can be anywhere. I have met good girls at sporting events, grocery stores, libraries, the gym, etc, etc.

My brother met his wife through a family friend. She is a nurse.

Many of us went to high school and college with good girls Remember, the ones that wouldn't bang you?. My married friends met their wives through friends of the family or they went to school together. You have to take a more old fashioned approach. Reading player blogs and going out to bars and clubs is not exactly the way to find a good woman.

To say they're are no good girls left is an over reaction, its too extreme, too cynical. It would be like saying all guys are players or all guys are alpha. We know this is not true.

Roosh agrees:

Quote: (11-29-2012 09:53 PM)Roosh Wrote:  

There are too many girls out there who don't feel comfortable banging more than one guy at a time

When he said this, I think he was in Poland, so you might look there as well.

Key things to look for:

Both parents
Strong extended family
Traditional upbringing
Religion
Disconnected from mainstream values, lives by traditional values

If I was looking for a good girl I would go to the university library, the university bible study, the university volunteer center, girls I went to school with and their friends, grocery stores, health clubs, etc.

They could be anywhere. They key is to do your research and meet their family. The whole family - parents, grandparents, aunts, etc.

If that doesn't work, go to another country. The "western world" is only a small part of the world, there are many other cultures out there, with many different types of women.

The western, feminist, slut is only a small percentage of the worlds women (USA, Canada, England, Australia, Western Europe).

Quote: (12-20-2012 01:21 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

Girls with a mother and father who are still together. Girls whose grandparents are still together. Girls who put family first. Girls who are first or second generation Americans. Girls with traditional values. Girls who respect their father and grandfather.

Girls who are close minded, conservative, boring, racist, etc.

Quote: (12-20-2012 02:06 PM)_GQ_ Wrote:  

Quote: (12-20-2012 01:21 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

Girls with a mother and father who are still together. Girls whose grandparents are still together. Girls who put family first. Girls who are first or second generation Americans. Girls with traditional values. Girls who respect their father and grandfather.

Girls who are close minded, conservative, boring, racist, etc.

I agree. Closed minded, conservative, boring, girls are usually, well, ....more conservative then the open minded, fun seeking, party chicks. And, racist girls will usually only date one race so I guess thats good too, as long as they will date you.

Quote:Quote:

To say they're are no good girls left is an over reaction, its too extreme, too cynical. It would be like saying all guys are players or all guys are alpha. We know this is not true.

Of course that is too extreme and I'm not claiming that literally. Good girls do exist. Let me rephrase then:

The number of quality, good girls in the western society is so low that the odds of meeting such a girl (and successfully attracting her, given the overwhelming demand for such girls versus their scarceness) are abysmal and certainly cannot be counted upon or planned with any reasonable certainty. Of course we'd all (or some of us) pursue such a girl if we met her, but even meeting such a girl is unlikely.

You are engaging in what I'd call the "player goggles syndrome", where you struggle for a long time, achieve a lot of success (whether by skill or chance), and then start assuming that everyone has the same options as you do, as if the struggling phase has simply vanished for all guys on earth. Nothing could be further from the truth. To assume that solving this problem is as easy as going to the university library, bible study or similar location/event is just naive. If low-quality, slutty girls were confined just to a few trashy clubs, the entire manosphere would not exist.

I'm not saying that all the factors that you mentioned are not important. I agree that they are. But they're not a guarantee, not by a long shot.

Quote:Quote:

Many of us went to high school and college with good girls Remember, the ones that wouldn't bang you?

Sure I do. She banged several other guys. I can think of just 1 girl out of 20 from my class that was likely to have stayed a virgin or at least not engaged in rapid-fire serial monogamy, and that is in Croatia, which is not too Americanized yet.

Anyways, I really don't have a problem with your assessment of the western sexual market or advice about what to do (particularly going to other countries, which vastly improves the odds) - I agree 99%! I just can't accept your assumption that it's like a switch that the average guy just has to flip on and bam - he's met a good girl and his problems are solved! It doesn't work that way. You should have a lot more understanding for how difficult that is*.

* = I'm speaking in general, not about my situation. I'm happy with what I have at the moment.

Quote: (11-30-2012 10:36 AM)Walderschmidt Wrote:  

Quote: (11-30-2012 10:15 AM)Yams Wrote:  

Quote: (11-29-2012 02:55 PM)slubu Wrote:  

I wake up in the middle of the night and start putting some random clues together in my head about her potential slutiness. My mind on overdrive, I think about all the things I've mistakenly overlooked:

- she's been in two threesomes before
- she sends me dirty text pics
- she's in art school
- she's told me I have cart blanche to do whatever I want to her in bed
- she drinks, does coke, is a party girl when she goes out
- masturbates in the passenger seat of my car while driving
- enjoys and is quite talented at giving head
- her friends are sluts
- questioned me numerous times if i'm banging other girls
- she has a small tattoo above her vag

That is a huge list of things to overlook. I'm guessing that you ignored these things because it took 3 whole dates to bang her.

I'd feel like a chump if it took three dates to bang this girl when she is banging 4 other dudes. I would assume it didn't take them three dates.

First off, you may be assuming wrong - it may have taken all or most just as long. Just because a woman is promiscuous doesn't mean she doesn't make guys take her out a few times before unleashing the puss.

More importantly, there's no reason for him to feel like a "chump" even if it did take longer to bang than the other guys. Women tend to hold out when they're romantically interested in a guy, even if they put out to other guys all the time - because they know guys don't like to date easy girls. And it sounds like she was trying to snare him in a relationship.

So, feel like a chump? Nah. Cheated? Sure.

But it's nothing more than a case of her hiding her sluttiness because she saw him as relationship material. If anything, he should feel flattered, though I realize it doesn't exactly take away the sting...

Quote: (11-30-2012 06:16 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

Quote: (11-30-2012 05:48 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

A woman who fucks more 4 dudes in a year is pretty skanky in my book.

If she fucks more than 8 in a year she is a bona-fide SLUT.

I hate to break it to you, but according to your standards, I'd say about 60% of American women between the ages of 18-30 would qualify as "skanky".

I think the rest of the world would agree with you on that point, OG. American women are considered easy by most standards.

Quote: (11-30-2012 07:01 PM)Neo Wrote:  

IME not all women are sluts. I hear the argument that for 'the right guy' every girl is a slut, but it's impossible to test this theory. Sluts and good girls give off different tells, I can't explain it through text very well, but they just have different body language, vibes, mannerisms, and behavioral patterns. Then you can build on that initial impression to see if you're right or wrong. While some guys say that the ease of getting her into bed is some kind of predictor of sluttiness I disagree.

For example, a girl who is somewhat straight edge(will drink occasionally doesn't smoke or do drugs), has parents who are still married, has a solid family structure, is a bit on the reserved/shy side, doesn't go out much, seems to date the same guy for many years, doesn't have a smartphone, and has a good character is probably not a slut.

You can probably go months without finding a girl like that, but I'm sure they're out there.

Sounds like my kind of girl.,,

I'd argue, however, that while they're definitely out there in abundance, most guys go years rather than months, and usually their whole lives, without finding one due to a combination of these factors (I'm sure I'm missing a few...):

1) These women settling down fast.
2) These women stay in realationships for a long time (the first two factors mean they are rarely single).
3) These women are more choosy.
4. Men don't like to wait to hit anymore, even as they pine about the loss of conservative women.
5) Men tend to jump into relationships with just about any woman who will fuck him and don't screen at all. They ignore warnings signs and/or tell them it's just sex but almost always end up dating.
6) Lack of game to get a high-quality (meaning non-slut), good-looking woman.
7) Due to cultural challenges discussed throughout this thread, it's often very difficult to tell the difference.

Quote: (12-17-2012 03:17 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

Once upon a time, I just wanted to find a nice girl, fall in love, get married and have a family. Not only did sluts destroy that, they also lied to me over and over, claiming that nothing had changed. Lying about it is a thousand times worse than just destroying the dream. I could have lived with just the latter if they had been honest about it.

So fuck sluts (literally). But don't stop judging them. They don't deserve it.

I think if we men were honest with themselves we'd find that's true for most of us. So our options are 1) practice self-control and look harder for a quality good girl, 2) take the Giovonny approach and love for what it is, and it can certainly be a fun option, or 3) go abroad in search of greener (pinker) pastures - but not act like a typical Westerner when we get there...

Quote: (12-19-2012 09:46 AM)Praetor Wrote:  

Some of these girls are better players than we are! It doesn't help that the deck is stacked in their favor, but the more I read your posts and reflect on what I've gone through, the more I realize that there is no substitute in today's world for having tight game.

It's also mind-boggling what a minority we are compared to most guys out there.

I'd say most girls are better players than we are. Men are at a distinct disadvantage in our society.

Quote: (12-20-2012 04:23 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

The number of quality, good girls in the western society is so low that the odds of meeting such a girl (and successfully attracting her, given the overwhelming demand for such girls versus their scarceness) are abysmal and certainly cannot be counted upon or planned with any reasonable certainty. Of course we'd all (or some of us) pursue such a girl if we met her, but even meeting such a girl is unlikely.

You are engaging in what I'd call the "player goggles syndrome", where you struggle for a long time, achieve a lot of success (whether by skill or chance), and then start assuming that everyone has the same options as you do, as if the struggling phase has simply vanished for all guys on earth. Nothing could be further from the truth. To assume that solving this problem is as easy as going to the university library, bible study or similar location/event is just naive. If low-quality, slutty girls were confined just to a few trashy clubs, the entire manosphere would not exist.

Some great points here.

I think the most frustrating thing is not being able to tell the difference. While in relationships with friends of supposed good-girls throughout my life, I've seen some fucked-up shit go down when their boyfriends/husbands aren't around.

I think it's a combination of the low standard women are held to in our society as well as the inability of men to use critical-thinking skills when it comes to women.

to the OP

yes they are all sluts. here's the breakdown IMHO:

minor Sluts: ride the Cock Carousel until they find their "soulmate". they then get off the Cock Carousel and either LTR or marry "Mr. Right," usually late teens-mid 20's.

moderate Sluts: they ride the Cock Carousel but unlike the minor Sluts they have let "Mr. Right" slip away for whatever reason. they ride the Cock Carousel until about their early 30's when they hit the point of diminishing returns and start attracting "less desireable" dudes. they either LTR or marry ones of these dudes, but these Sluts realize that they are "settling for less."

major Sluts: Cock Carousel riders mid 30's + who realize that they are way behind the curve. these become the "pumas" or "cougars" who put out for any swinging cock and feel good about it because they believe they still "got it". some of these Sluts will deliberately get knocked up in an attempt to traP dudes(s).

YMMV

I love the fact that you capitalized Sluts as a proper noun.

Quote: (12-20-2012 04:23 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

Good girls do exist.

I'm glad that we agree on that.

If you would have said that there are no good girls left, I would have said you are a bitter, delusional man. To say there are no good girls left strikes me as an extreme reaction, an overly cynical reaction, likely by a man who has been defeated by the sexual competition of life.

I'm glad that is not you.

Quote: (12-20-2012 04:23 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

meeting such a girl is unlikely.

It's unlikely that any of us will meet a good girl?

This strikes me as strange. I meet decent people everyday, decent men and decent women. Not everybody is sick, twisted, and evil.

I think I meet a few good girls everyday. Yes, I meet a few sluts also but that is life, there are a wide variety of personalities out there, some people are more friendly and civilized then others, some people are anti-social and combative, some girls are straight hoes and others are more prudish. There is a wide vareity of women out there.

To say, its unlikely that we will ever meet a good girl seems unrealistic. It seems like the perspective of a man who has become overly misogynistic.

The manosphere attracts alot of guys with this attitude, likely because the manosphere attracts mostly the losers of this sexual game. Holding resentment and anger in your heart is often a reaction to being hurt or not getting something you want.

Guys getting alot of pussy often don't have this resentment towards women, they more often have an "abundance" type mentality and address women in a more playful tone.

Women are like children or pets, you can view them as selfish little brats that annoy you OR you can view them as playful little creatures that will respond to your strong leadership.

Quote: (12-21-2012 02:46 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

Quote: (12-20-2012 04:23 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

Good girls do exist.

I'm glad that we agree on that.

If you would have said that there are no good girls left, I would have said you are a bitter, delusional man. To say there are no good girls left strikes me as an extreme reaction, an overly cynical reaction, likely by a man who has been defeated by the sexual competition of life.

I'm glad that is not you.

Quote: (12-20-2012 04:23 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

meeting such a girl is unlikely.

It's unlikely that any of us will meet a good girl?

This strikes me as strange. I meet decent people everyday, decent men and decent women. Not everybody is sick, twisted, and evil.

You guys actually believe in good girls? I don't consider myself a woman-hater, but I've never met a good girl.

Girls I thought were "good", I just didn't know well enough.

The nicest girl I've ever dated was cheating on her boyfriend the entire time.

Giovonny is going to be married within three years.

So.. How do I find out for sure if a girl is slutting it up behind my back without resorting to snooping? Is the player lifestyle really the only prudent course of action?

Quote: (12-21-2012 07:40 PM)BiggNastee Wrote:  

So.. How do I find out for sure if a girl is slutting it up behind my back without resorting to snooping? Is the player lifestyle really the only prudent course of action?

The other option is to move to a country where women cannot fuck over men and get rewarded for it.

For example, if you cheat on your spouse in Poland, you will not get the kids in the divorce, you will not get the house, and you will not get alimony.

Quote: (12-21-2012 07:40 PM)BiggNastee Wrote:  

So.. How do I find out for sure if a girl is slutting it up behind my back without resorting to snooping? Is the player lifestyle really the only prudent course of action?

Why?

For marriage?

Private detective. Hey, it's cheaper and quicker than marrying a lying whore.

Stings a lot less too...

Just as a girlfriend or fuckbuddy?

Just pretend she's fucking other guys and behave accordingly. You'll maintain more power in the relationship that way anyhow.

Hope for the best but prepare for the worst is a good way to think about it. No reason to stress yourself out about something if you don't have a way of knowing. Just keep your options open and never let your guard down too much emotionally.

And pay attention. Most sluts give themselves away; men are just good at ignoring the signs because we want to fool ourselves so bad.

Quote: (12-21-2012 04:50 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

You guys actually believe in good girls? I don't consider myself a woman-hater, but I've never met a good girl.

Girls I thought were "good", I just didn't know well enough.

The nicest girl I've ever dated was cheating on her boyfriend the entire time.

I consider all women to have the instincts and motivations of devilish whores, however some of these women can be effectively managed.

The girl I'm living with for instance was raised with strict conservative beliefs, was a virgin at 21 when I met her, and hasn't fucked any other man other than me, but I would never trust her.

Nor any woman.

But she's manageable, as have been other women - even some with extremely slutty pasts.

It's like a business, or investment. No investment is risk free, but with sound risk management and careful cultivation of the business, you can reap rewards. Devilish whores or no.

But the task does sometimes require extreme measures, and has costs some men aren't willing to pay. Not everyone wants to have the burden of maintaining a strong pimp hand - most would prefer to just dump the girl before it got to that point.

When all dogs are ferile, the masters who liberally use the choke chain during training are the ones rewarded with well tempered obedience. While others believe dogs can't be trained.

Quote: (12-21-2012 04:50 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

You guys actually believe in good girls? I don't consider myself a woman-hater, but I've never met a good girl.

You really believe all girls are bad people? Even the old ladies at church and the little girls in 1st grade? What about the women in your family?

Quote: (12-21-2012 07:40 PM)BiggNastee Wrote:  

So.. How do I find out for sure if a girl is slutting it up behind my back without resorting to snooping?

First of all, you should be snooping. If its going on, you wanna know about it.

Secondly, you will never know for sure.

You either live believing all girls are bad or you live believing some girls are bad. I like to keep an open mind about it, I don't like to be an extremist. When you think you know everything you are usually wrong.

Quote: (12-21-2012 07:40 PM)BiggNastee Wrote:  

Is the player lifestyle really the only prudent course of action?

Its not the only course of action but it can be a good course of action if you are careful about it. Sooner or later, you will likely end up in a relationship anyways.

Like Samseau said, getting a girl from another culture is another good course of action. It all depends what you want..

Quote: (12-22-2012 12:52 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

Private detective. Hey, it's cheaper and quicker than marrying a lying whore.

True!

Quote: (12-22-2012 12:52 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

Hope for the best but prepare for the worst is a good way to think about it. No reason to stress yourself out about something if you don't have a way of knowing. Just keep your options open and never let your guard down too much emotionally.

Quote: (12-22-2012 12:52 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

And pay attention. Most sluts give themselves away; men are just good at ignoring the signs because we want to fool ourselves so bad.

Damn! Thats deep!

Quote: (12-22-2012 01:03 AM)xsplat Wrote:  

When all dogs are ferile, the masters who liberally use the choke chain during training are the ones rewarded with well tempered obedience. While others believe dogs can't be trained.

You guys are fucking crazy!!! hahaha!

We're just going to have to disagree about how easy or likely it is to find a good girl (or tame a slut so that she transforms into one because of your 'strong leadership') for most men. And you should drop your lame accusations about who is getting a lot of pussy or not.

I spent years in my early twenties worried about finding a "good girl" - a virgin if possible.
My advice is not to worry. If you want a good, traditional girl, you will be able to find them even at age 40 if you have reasonable cash and you go overseas. I've found multiple girls like that. But I no longer want to settle down. A woman is just a woman, they're all hypergamous and you get tired of sex with them.

Quote: (12-20-2012 06:10 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

I'd argue, however, that while they're definitely out there in abundance, most guys go years rather than months, and usually their whole lives, without finding one due to a combination of these factors (I'm sure I'm missing a few...):

1) These women settling down fast.
2) These women stay in realationships for a long time (the first two factors mean they are rarely single).
3) These women are more choosy.
4. Men don't like to wait to hit anymore, even as they pine about the loss of conservative women.
5) Men tend to jump into relationships with just about any woman who will fuck him and don't screen at all. They ignore warnings signs and/or tell them it's just sex but almost always end up dating.
6) Lack of game to get a high-quality (meaning non-slut), good-looking woman.
7) Due to cultural challenges discussed throughout this thread, it's often very difficult to tell the difference.

I think if we men were honest with themselves we'd find that's true for most of us. So our options are 1) practice self-control and look harder for a quality good girl, 2) take the Giovonny approach and love for what it is, and it can certainly be a fun option, or 3) go abroad in search of greener (pinker) pastures - but not act like a typical Westerner when we get there...

I think it's a combination of the low standard women are held to in our society as well as the inability of men to use critical-thinking skills when it comes to women.

That's a good list. I know I've been guilty of being too quick to settle in with a girl rather than work harder to attract a new one or spin plates for longer. In an effort to compensate I've learned a few tricks for how to make the best of it, by training the girls up, but you make a good reminder of the value of having a wider pool of applicants. That remains a difficult hurdle, but I can sure agree with the value of making the effort.

Sometimes I point out that men are too lazy to learn how to train girls up. As that's something I've already internalized, it's not so easy for me to see how difficult the mindset change is. But the attitude that approaches and screens more is the challenge for me - and in that I can understand what it means to be intimidated by taking on the difficult project of changing myself to be able to do a difficult thing.

I've read that sometimes a change of location facilitates a change in approach - shakes everything up. Another good reason to travel again.

Quote: (12-21-2012 04:50 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

Quote: (12-21-2012 02:46 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

Quote: (12-20-2012 04:23 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

Good girls do exist.

I'm glad that we agree on that.

If you would have said that there are no good girls left, I would have said you are a bitter, delusional man. To say there are no good girls left strikes me as an extreme reaction, an overly cynical reaction, likely by a man who has been defeated by the sexual competition of life.

I'm glad that is not you.

Quote: (12-20-2012 04:23 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

meeting such a girl is unlikely.

It's unlikely that any of us will meet a good girl?

This strikes me as strange. I meet decent people everyday, decent men and decent women. Not everybody is sick, twisted, and evil.

You guys actually believe in good girls? I don't consider myself a woman-hater, but I've never met a good girl.

Girls I thought were "good", I just didn't know well enough.

The nicest girl I've ever dated was cheating on her boyfriend the entire time.

I'm with Sam 100%. I've been with girls that I was thoroughly convinced were 100% honest and good. And for the most part, they were. But I would catch lies, and small ones too. Lies where the lies weren't necessary.

One of my only favorite lines from Heartiste goes something like, "A woman will lie only when it is advantageous for her to do so." If her lying will protect her relationship, she'll do it. If she wants to keep you around, and a lie is needed to make that happen, she'll do it.

I was with a girl that had only fucked 3 guys before (confirmed through some digging around her social network). She was a sweetheart and out for love. She felt that her bf didn't love her anymore. I swooped in right at the right time and banged her. This wasn't a "We got drunk and crazy and one thing led to another." I had a gf too and she knew my gf. I specifically told her, "Let's pretend we're not committed to anyone else". Her response? "Okay". This is the type of girl that would openly talk about how people should be together for love, she doesn't believe in random hookups, a very smart, very attractive girl that a lot of guys wanted to fuck but she wouldn't even entertain the idea. I had no game when I fucked her, I'm still not sure what she saw in me. All she ever told me after we hooked up is, "Are you kidding me? A totally hot chef is flirting with me? Of course I'm gonna go for it." I shit you not. Good girl? HA!

This takes a lot of humility to admit, but the one big event that sent me on this path of red pill was getting my heart broken when I was 18. My gf (we were madly in love with each other. This wasn't some casual high school nonsense) left me after a year or so to fuck one of my friends for a while (he wasn't even a good friend, just an acquaintance) She came back to me after a month of me tearing my hair out, crying, getting drunk, dealing with a teenage broken heart. When she came back I took her and we were together for another couple years (at least I left her to fuck a teenager).

By all accounts this girl was a "good girl". We took each others virginity. We were together for months before I even got a BJ, and another few months before sex. She was Catholic. Never missed a day of school from Kindergarten to senior year of high school, got citywide recognition and everything. Honors student, president of some bullshit highschool organization, a real overacheiver. She was loved in the community and I got repeated praise for being her boyfriend. Not only a "good girl", but a PROUD "good girl". She had aspired to be a good girl.

Granted, I had no game. When I look back, I'm lucky she didn't leave me sooner.

One last example: Back when I did the OKC thing I met this really cute half Mexican chick. Banged on second date. Okay, that's obviously the first indicator she's not a "good girl". This was right before I discovered the red pill, and her assurances of, "I totally was not going to sleep with you." sunk it and I let myself believe it. She gave off a HUGE "good girl" vibe. She was genuinely sweet and treated me really well. I don't think she was fucking other guys at any point, even though I was banging other girls. Always pleasant and happy to see me.

Well, we started fucking a LOT, and shit got freaky real quick. She loved swallowing cum. I mean this girl probably has a semen swallowing addiction. It got to the point where I fucked her on her period and she still said, "I want you to cum in my mouth!" I replied, "Um....there's uh, you know, some blood...I think...on my dick." Her response? "I know! Cum in my mouth!" Good girl? HA!

Got a little derailed there, but anyway, point is: the most likely candidates I've ever had for a "good girl" were both fucked up and/or slutty in their own ways. Maybe I'm just a really bad judge of character, but I don't think so. Based on what we know collectively I think it's infinitely more likely that women, at various points in their lives, can get pretty dirty/gross/slutty. No hate, just sayin'.

I don't get it tho. How the fuck do you detach your emotions? I am almost 100% sure this girl is fucking around and there are other reasons I shouldbe "apinning plates" but I have feelings for this bitch still. Its my fault, I just wanna know how to avoid it on the next one. I did everything I could think to not catch any feelings.


End of pussy rant

Quote: (12-22-2012 11:01 PM)BiggNastee Wrote:  

I don't get it tho. How the fuck do you detach your emotions? I am almost 100% sure this girl is fucking around and there are other reasons I shouldbe "apinning plates" but I have feelings for this bitch still. Its my fault, I just wanna know how to avoid it on the next one. I did everything I could think to not catch any feelings.


End of pussy rant

Ya, not having any feelings is a way some guys chose to go. Doesn't seem to work for everyone. And some of us prefer to enjoy our feelings. It feels good to have positive feelings, and to have those we do require a supportive environment.

We all know that the old fashioned way was to to try to create a relationship that supported nurture and romance along with fun and adventure. Tough. But that was the old goal.

I still like that old goal, and still pursue it, and believe it's perfectly workable.

I think it's a horrible idea to deaden feelings to the point where the man no longer even bonds. I mean sure, having fuck buddies and flings is fun, but it's just human nature for (most of us) to feel a unique satisfaction out of bonding with someone who cares for us. That's normal, and it's healthy. I support it in my own life, and I'd support others who tried to do the same.

So rather than try to avoid catching feelings, a question might be how to manage your boundaries such that you either:
a) control the woman better, or
b) eject yourself from a painful situation earlier
or
c) learn to handle more painful feelings without being overwhelmed - like riding a wave without drowning. Careful on this one though, as you can wind up making yourself a doormat and losing respect for your own boundaries.

Screening, controlling the woman, and managing your level of commitment and personal boundaries work together in a gestalt. A fugue. You can't just focus on one particular element. I advise that you particularly are not the type of person who will fare better in life by not having feelings. Rather you'll need to integrate them and own them and accept them and work your life and your feelings together.

Personal boundaries are very challenging to learn about, work with, and enforce. On the one hand we want intimacy, on the other we need to avoid abuse and pain, and on the left foot we need a little freedom to have our own fun. Luckily having strong boundaries is attractive - even though women will NEVER admit it, and will cry and scream if you show a backbone. But that leads us to:

Controlling the woman. If you watch a few episodes of The Dog Whisperer you'll quickly notice that there are two types of dog. The ferile dog who doesn't submit to a higher authority, and the tamed dog who obeys it's pack leader. During each show the dog transforms from one type to the other, and it's as though it's a whole new dog. Women are exactly like that. There are two types of women, and it is up to the man to create the 2nd type out of his girl. This is a very deep subject that can't be summarized in one blog post.

Ejecting yourself from painful relationships: This is boundary control again. If she can't be tamed, bring things to brinkmanship, and mean it. Meaning you eject. And that might be the end of it; it sometimes is. This takes self discipline; the same discipline it takes to not eat one more bite of chocolate cake, or to not pick up the coke spoon again. Just let it go. The easiest way to manage this is by side-tracking your focus with other girls and activities, and when things get really rough, then travel.

Learn to handle more painful feelings without being overwhelmed: Some people deliberately practice polyamory. They'll have a few girlfriends, and some of their girls might have other lovers. This has the obvious pros and cons. The pain and trouble of jealousy is offset by the joys of having variety; no one girl has to be perfect, as they complement each other, and your life is more rich and full. You will get jealous, as will the girls. There are tricks to manage this. Some people set up certain rules. You might have to know who the third and fourth and fifth parties are. Or your rule might be don't ask don't tell. You might have a calendar scheduled. It's up to you to find something that works, and that might change over time, and you might have to abort the whole thing eventually. The notion here is that rather than try to completely avoid jealousy, you find out how much of it you are willing to handle, and accept that much, and only that much. You can also learn to handle painful feelings without any sort of polyamory. In both cases I don't actually know how it's done. All the how to advice I've heard really boils down to "just do it", but I think the way it works is that over time you get used to the feelings - you just have to let them flow through you - the pain of them and all - and learn to not get fixated. Also distraction can help, for when we do get fixated. As can spinning plates - the ultimate distraction.