[WestCoast]

(12-22-2012 11:01 PM)BiggNastee Wrote:  

I don't get it tho. How the fuck do you detach your emotions? I am almost 100% sure this girl is fucking around and there are other reasons I shouldbe "apinning plates" but I have feelings for this bitch still. Its my fault, I just wanna know how to avoid it on the next one. I did everything I could think to not catch any feelings.


End of pussy rant

The big issue is you're defining your relationship by what it is not.

This is normal for guys really seeing life for what it is. You're practically hard wired into an unshakable belief system that needs to be undone (white knight belief system). If you know she is a cheater/slut/whatever the issue is, mentally assign less value to her or simply cut her off.

I'll assume the worst and say its some girl taking down 10 guys. Okay. So what's the best course of action? Getting upset? No. Getting angry? No. Crying? No.

The advice I would give is... 1) Use her to practice your bedroom skills or 2) tell her "your actions are unacceptable, goodbye" never responding to any message phone call email or text.

1) the benefit is obvious, you'll improve sex moves, stamina, gain more confidence
2) benefit is less obvious, you are training yourself to have discipline, if you have some gripping feelings with her KNOWING she is a bad catch you should train yourself to stand ground. Goodbye means... Goodbye. Period. There is no make up.

Now lets assume you got burned. The solution is easier. GET TO WORK!! You' re a human being, so use those bad pussy emotions into good ones. Lift, run,take classes. The worst thing to do is sit there and "think about the interactions". Accept that it is over. You gain absolutely nothing by pining over a girl! Your logical brain is on overdrive analyzing why you caught feelings, why some shit happened, etc etc. girls are irrational!! Maybe she read a horoscope and broke it off because deep down she's a religious nut! Who knows man, but I do know one thing, the time you took to write the above post? ZERO gained!!!

Finally, it is "holiday season" so don't let this time of the year get you down, call it "player hibernation time" and read a book fiction/non-fiction, practice a language, get to the gym b4 New Years resolutions etc.

If you're busy ruminating, you're not gaining, if you're not gaining? You're dying.

[Screwston]

(12-22-2012 11:01 PM)BiggNastee Wrote:  

I don't get it tho. How the fuck do you detach your emotions? I am almost 100% sure this girl is fucking around and there are other reasons I shouldbe "apinning plates" but I have feelings for this bitch still. Its my fault, I just wanna know how to avoid it on the next one. I did everything I could think to not catch any feelings.


End of pussy rant

Maybe the game isn't meant for you

[poutsara]

(12-22-2012 11:01 PM)BiggNastee Wrote:  

I don't get it tho. How the fuck do you detach your emotions? I am almost 100% sure this girl is fucking around and there are other reasons I should be "spinning plates" but I have feelings for this bitch still. Its my fault, I just wanna know how to avoid it on the next one. I did everything I could think to not catch any feelings.

If you are 100% sure she is fucking around she probably is.

[Veloce]

Shit guys, I just realized, I have known one "good girl". I'm 99% sure of it.

I met her on some online dating sight, wasn't OKC. Can't remember the name. Anyway this was like in '05 or '06 or some shit.

She was super hesitant to meet me even for a coffee date. Said she promised her sister she'd let her know where she is and when she'll be back. This was in broad daylight. Lived with her parents.

She told me she'd only had two bfs and they were the only guys she'd slept with. I believed her. Hell, even if you applied the common formula and multiplied that by 3 that's still a good girl in my book, especially for a 23 year old. She'd always lived with her parents.

This was my most degenerate time of life. I hadn't discovered game or PUA but I was drinking nonstop, partying, and really self destructive. Naturally some bangs are gonna result. I fucked her the 3rd or 4th time we hung out, lots of LMR but I remember being drunk and super aggressive. I have a vague recollection of her saying something like, "I haven't really done much of this...be gentle." She was insanely tight and had an incredible body. I could tell by the way she had sex she wasn't very experienced.

About a few weeks into dating it was my birthday. She made me a cake that we ate on the floor of my shitty studio and gave me a really sincere and heartfelt note. This after 2 or 3 weeks. A couple weeks later I broke it off with her and she admitted she was falling in love with me. I didn't care at the time but thinking about this all these years later bums me out. Sometimes I wonder if we're not all part of the problem we complain about with women? We're disgusted by the majority of their behavior, but then the few remaining good girls get caught up in the meat grinder and spat out the other side.

I actually met up with this girl a few years later. We stayed in touch and wound up seeing a concert once and getting coffee on another occasion. She gained a lot of weight and the time I saw her for coffee she had a harsh, snarky tone in her conversation that was absolutely not there before.

Anyway, she was a good girl, for sure.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

Was she? This is where different personal opinions of what is a "slut" and what is a "good girl" come into play. The fact that she didn't have a high number of partners might mean she's not a slut, but it doesn't mean she's a good girl either. If she requires asshole game to be attracted to someone (or is so stupid that she can't recognize someone who is going to treat her just like another hole), that's an enormous flaw. Would you think well of a girl who has only one partner, but it turns out that he's some drunken loser who beats her (when she could have chosen from so many other men who would have treated better)? I certainly wouldn't.
(I don't mean you of course, I'm just making a general point)

[Veloce]

(12-23-2012 04:27 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

Was she? This is where different personal opinions of what is a "slut" and what is a "good girl" come into play. The fact that she didn't have a high number of partners might mean she's not a slut, but it doesn't mean she's a good girl either. If she requires asshole game to be attracted to someone (or is so stupid that she can't recognize someone who is going to treat her just like another hole), that's an enormous flaw. Would you think well of a girl who has only one partner, but it turns out that he's some drunken loser who beats her (when she could have chosen from so many other men who would have treated better)? I certainly wouldn't.
(I don't mean you of course, I'm just making a general point)

Haha I was gonna say, "What are you trying to say here Eel?"

Don't get me wrong, I didn't pick her up on a Harley, drive her to a back alleyway, pour 5 shots of whiskey down her throat, and fuck her in the ass. I'm sure I had some degree of smoothness and romance. Even though I was in a degenerate place, I don't think she picked up on it. In fact I'm pretty sure I took her out to an expensive dinner before we ever fucked; remember I had no game. So the fact that a nice-guy move like that worked on her probably indicates she was, indeed, a good girl.

[Beyond Borders]

(12-23-2012 03:53 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

Sometimes I wonder if we're not all part of the problem we complain about with women? We're disgusted by the majority of their behavior, but then the few remaining good girls get caught up in the meat grinder and spat out the other side.

Very insightful - I often think this myself.

I've always been drawn to innocent women and "good girls." It always starts out great when I run with an attraction like this, but in the end I always get bored and leave them with a broken heart. Then another comes along and I do it again...

And yet I still consider myself one of the good guys. Funny the lies we tell ourselves...

To be honest, I think I avoid relationships now not because I don't like them - I enjoy being in a relationship - but because I don't feel good about how I leave them when it's over.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

I definitely don't think of myself as a "good guy" when I do that. My view on this matter is pretty much the same as Roissy's:

Quote:

It would be wise for you Don Juans to remember that, the next time you rationalize that your leaving her will actually make her a better person. There is no spinning away the ugly reality with a sappy cliche. Better to embrace your wicked choice and feast on the brutality of it all. Makes for a more invigorating life.
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2011/09/0...ot-likely/

[BiggNastee]

(12-23-2012 02:50 AM)houston Wrote:  

(12-22-2012 11:01 PM)BiggNastee Wrote:  

I don't get it tho. How the fuck do you detach your emotions? I am almost 100% sure this girl is fucking around and there are other reasons I shouldbe "apinning plates" but I have feelings for this bitch still. Its my fault, I just wanna know how to avoid it on the next one. I did everything I could think to not catch any feelings.


End of pussy rant

Maybe the game isn't meant for you

So just because a half back doesn't like getting tackled means he should quit?

[Beyond Borders]

(12-23-2012 05:36 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

I definitely don't think of myself as a "good guy" when I do that. My view on this matter is pretty much the same as Roissy's:

Quote:

It would be wise for you Don Juans to remember that, the next time you rationalize that your leaving her will actually make her a better person. There is no spinning away the ugly reality with a sappy cliche. Better to embrace your wicked choice and feast on the brutality of it all. Makes for a more invigorating life.
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2011/09/0...ot-likely/

That was my point.

[Veloce]

(12-23-2012 07:00 PM)BiggNastee Wrote:  

(12-23-2012 02:50 AM)houston Wrote:  

(12-22-2012 11:01 PM)BiggNastee Wrote:  

I don't get it tho. How the fuck do you detach your emotions? I am almost 100% sure this girl is fucking around and there are other reasons I shouldbe "apinning plates" but I have feelings for this bitch still. Its my fault, I just wanna know how to avoid it on the next one. I did everything I could think to not catch any feelings.


End of pussy rant

Maybe the game isn't meant for you

So just because a half back doesn't like getting tackled means he should quit?

You asked, "How do you detach your emotions?"

That's quite a question, and perhaps not one that anyone outside of yourself can answer. Everyone's different. I've seen the occasional reference to Buddhism on the boards. One of the foundations of Buddhist philosophy is detachment; the idea that all suffering we experience is caused from attachment. This certainly holds true in relationships. Knowing how to let go is a universal ability; it doesn't just relate to women.

Between family members dying, pets dying, losing money, shit hitting the fan in life, it's important as a man to know how to let go. To have that feeling that, "This is bad. This is as bad as it gets. And you know what? It's actually not that bad." Once you hit the bottom you'll find a little emotional crawl space where you can hang out and nothing can touch you. It usually takes a few tragedies and some heartbreak to know what the hell I'm talking about, but it comes with age, experience, and perspective.

[WestCoast]

Emotional detachment is similar to desensitizing yourself.

Think about talking to 10 girls and every single one says "Fuck you you're ugly" to your face. Of course this won't happen, but if you go it long enough and say this happens to you 1,000,000 times... i bet you wont even be phased by the 1 millionth time.

Its all relative as the dude is refering to. If you have lost 50% of your wealth in a day, got shot down by a gazillion girls or have seen enough fucked up shit to set back even some of the crazy people on this forum... you're not going to have this issue anymore.

The solution is effectively the same, plow through life, see more, get fucked over more, win more, get fucked over again and the cycle continues.

[Giovonny]

(12-23-2012 08:53 PM)WestCoast Wrote:  

Emotional detachment is similar to desensitizing yourself.

Think about talking to 10 girls and every single one says "Fuck you you're ugly" to your face. Of course this won't happen, but if you go it long enough and say this happens to you 1,000,000 times... i bet you wont even be phased by the 1 millionth time.

Dude, stop giving away all my secrets!!!

[Giovonny]

I probably don't have to say this.. but, I'm not attacking you personally or trying to antagonize you. I just wanna continue this debate -- its interesting for me to learn what others guys think..

(12-22-2012 10:38 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

I was with a girl that had only fucked 3 guys before (confirmed through some digging around her social network). She was a sweetheart and out for love. She felt that her bf didn't love her anymore. I swooped in right at the right time and banged her. This wasn't a "We got drunk and crazy and one thing led to another." I had a gf too and she knew my gf. I specifically told her, "Let's pretend we're not committed to anyone else". Her response? "Okay". This is the type of girl that would openly talk about how people should be together for love, she doesn't believe in random hookups, a very smart, very attractive girl that a lot of guys wanted to fuck but she wouldn't even entertain the idea. I had no game when I fucked her, I'm still not sure what she saw in me. All she ever told me after we hooked up is, "Are you kidding me? A totally hot chef is flirting with me? Of course I'm gonna go for it." I shit you not. Good girl? HA!

I don't think having a one night stand necessarily makes a girl a bad person. If it only happens a few times in her life, I think she can still be of decent moral character. Say, once in high school, once in college and once in her 20's. Some "good" people are just a little sexual, I don't think it condemns them entirely.

This girl sounds like she probably had pretty good character. She was attracted to you one night, she was on the rebound and emotionally vulnerable, you were a "hot chef flirting with her". Nobody's perfect. Yes, you had a gf at the time, so who knows? Maybe I'm wrong? Obviously, you know her and I don't.

If she banged you, then took your used condom and went in the bathroom and impregnated herself --and then sued you for child support. I would help you kill the evil bitch!

Banging her once, as casual acquaintances, I say -- not enough data to form an opinion.

(12-22-2012 10:38 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

This takes a lot of humility to admit, but the one big event that sent me on this path of red pill was getting my heart broken when I was 18. My gf (we were madly in love with each other. This wasn't some casual high school nonsense) left me after a year or so to fuck one of my friends for a while

That sucks, she sounded like a decent chick but leaving you to fuck a friend is not cool.

(12-22-2012 10:38 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

One last example: She loved swallowing cum.

I don't think this necessarily makes a woman bad. I mean, if she spit would she be a better person morally and ethically? Shit, that's a actually a good question!?! I don't know. I think alot of girls swallow cum just because its in their DNA to do so..?

"Good" people can also have healthy sexual fantasies and fetishes.

I do think you guys are often too extreme when you say "there are no good women" -- but I'm probably too extreme when I say sex is a natural part of a womans life.


................................................................................​................................................................................​....................................


This statement did have a big influence on my thinking..

(11-29-2012 09:53 PM)Roosh Wrote:  

There are too many girls out there who don't feel comfortable banging more than one guy at a time

This is the guy who would know.

(I think he was living in Poland at the time, which suggests that maybe "bad" female behavior is more about cultural conditioning and less about their "true nature") (I think most people are often a product of their environment --with exceptions of course)

If I wanted raise a thin, feminine, morally sound, classy woman, the USA in 2012 is about the last place I would want her to grow up. (No offense to my fellow Americans)

[BiggNastee]

So.. Go to Poland?

[Giovonny]

Why not? Anywhere other then the US will probably be better.

[Screwston]

(12-23-2012 07:00 PM)BiggNastee Wrote:  

(12-23-2012 02:50 AM)houston Wrote:  

(12-22-2012 11:01 PM)BiggNastee Wrote:  

I don't get it tho. How the fuck do you detach your emotions? I am almost 100% sure this girl is fucking around and there are other reasons I shouldbe "apinning plates" but I have feelings for this bitch still. Its my fault, I just wanna know how to avoid it on the next one. I did everything I could think to not catch any feelings.


End of pussy rant

Maybe the game isn't meant for you

So just because a half back doesn't like getting tackled means he should quit?

You asked and I told. If you're on this forum and STILL getting attached to girls, you're probably not meant for the game.

[Giovonny]

(12-22-2012 11:01 PM)BiggNastee Wrote:  

How the fuck do you detach your emotions?

(12-23-2012 08:45 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

One of the foundations of Buddhist philosophy is detachment; the idea that all suffering we experience is caused from attachment.

That is some of the deepest wisdom that I know of. And, one of the keys to my game.

(12-23-2012 08:53 PM)WestCoast Wrote:  

The solution is effectively the same, plow through life, see more, get fucked over more, win more, get fucked over again and the cycle continues.

Is there any other strategy that is proven to work?

Like the Buddhists say, don't get to high, don't get too low -- Like we Americans say, just keep grinding!

Oh, you are asking how to detach yourself emotionally?

[WestCoast]

Controlling emotions is the definition of game

That is what you're really asking for by "wanting detachment" you want to control your own emotions while also influencing the emotions of others.

Break it down to the bare bones, you're easily getting attached to a cute girl... because deep down you're still pedestalizing a cute girl. Or idolizing an ideal that you're realizing is false. "It is harder to convince a man he has been fooled than to fool a man in the first place"

Going to Poland could solve some but not all of your problems. I'd advise that you practice controlling certain emotions over time. Then you can work on influencing the emotions of others. This is why many posters on here also talk about getting "into the zone" or "locked in" this is no different than controlling your emotional state. It takes time effort, practice and dedication.

Becoming objective of yourself, your surroundings, how you are perceived, the emotional state of people etc. is INCREDIBLY difficult. Its an art and will never be perfected.

[Giovonny]

Opps! I didn't read this post!!

(12-23-2012 03:53 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

Shit guys, I just realized, I have known one "good girl". I'm 99% sure of it.

I met her on some online dating sight, wasn't OKC. Can't remember the name. Anyway this was like in '05 or '06 or some shit.

She was super hesitant to meet me even for a coffee date. Said she promised her sister she'd let her know where she is and when she'll be back. This was in broad daylight. Lived with her parents.

She told me she'd only had two bfs and they were the only guys she'd slept with. I believed her. Hell, even if you applied the common formula and multiplied that by 3 that's still a good girl in my book, especially for a 23 year old. She'd always lived with her parents.

This was my most degenerate time of life. I hadn't discovered game or PUA but I was drinking nonstop, partying, and really self destructive. Naturally some bangs are gonna result. I fucked her the 3rd or 4th time we hung out, lots of LMR but I remember being drunk and super aggressive. I have a vague recollection of her saying something like, "I haven't really done much of this...be gentle." She was insanely tight and had an incredible body. I could tell by the way she had sex she wasn't very experienced.

About a few weeks into dating it was my birthday. She made me a cake that we ate on the floor of my shitty studio and gave me a really sincere and heartfelt note. This after 2 or 3 weeks. A couple weeks later I broke it off with her and she admitted she was falling in love with me. I didn't care at the time but thinking about this all these years later bums me out. Sometimes I wonder if we're not all part of the problem we complain about with women? We're disgusted by the majority of their behavior, but then the few remaining good girls get caught up in the meat grinder and spat out the other side.

I actually met up with this girl a few years later. We stayed in touch and wound up seeing a concert once and getting coffee on another occasion. She gained a lot of weight and the time I saw her for coffee she had a harsh, snarky tone in her conversation that was absolutely not there before.

Anyway, she was a good girl, for sure.

Or, this one!!!

(12-23-2012 05:06 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

Haha I was gonna say, "What are you trying to say here Eel?"

Don't get me wrong, I didn't pick her up on a Harley, drive her to a back alleyway, pour 5 shots of whiskey down her throat, and fuck her in the ass. I'm sure I had some degree of smoothness and romance. Even though I was in a degenerate place, I don't think she picked up on it. In fact I'm pretty sure I took her out to an expensive dinner before we ever fucked; remember I had no game. So the fact that a nice-guy move like that worked on her probably indicates she was, indeed, a good girl.

Fuck. I wouldn't have written all that other shit in post #239 if I would have read this. I wouldn't have continued the debate.

Dude37,

Feel free to ignore my recent long post!!

[Giovonny]

(12-24-2012 12:38 AM)WestCoast Wrote:  

Controlling emotions is the definition of game

That is what you're really asking for by "wanting detachment" you want to control your own emotions while also influencing the emotions of others.

Great insight! It's not about detaching from emotion. It's about controlling it!

[Veloce]

Haha, Gio anytime you wanna debate go for it. At some point we're gonna be up in norcal running daygame on bitches on campus so spout away.

In those examples you quote I should clarify why I don't think those girls are "good girls".

1) the girl I fucked had a boyfriend. We fucked before she broke up with him, and in fact, she wound up NOT breaking up with him and never telling him.

2) She was a good girl for the most part, but when I slipped into some hardcore beta tendencies she obviously lost attraction to me and treated me like shit. I FULLY take responsibility here, as I now know the true nature of women and wouldn't hold it against her for obeying her own biological and anthropological programming. I was a fool for taking her back and truly disrespected myself for allowing or validating that kind of behavior

3) swallowing cum is one thing, but swallowing cum off of a bloody dick is another. She might be a "good girl" but a dirty one at that...

[Veloce]

Anyway, it's funny I'm posting on here considering I just got back from a date with a girl that, I'm pretty damn sure is a "nice girl".

Just got back from an OKC date. I literally restarted my account, updated some profile questions and photos, and 15 minutes later had a date with some cute Korean chick.

Met up with her and the date went really well. Caught her several time staring at me. Kino escalation. She dropped me off at my car, and right as I was about to lean in for the kiss, she says, "Can I get out and hug you?" I thought this was incredibly endearing and cute. I've never had a girl do this before. I responded, "Ha! I was gonna kiss you goodnight, but uh, sure, come out and hug me." I went in for the kiss but she wouldn't give me more than a little smooch on the lips, but she hugged me for quite a while. This girl is 24 and lives with her parents. By all accounts it sounds like her parents are very restrictive. She got one phone call during the date which I was ready to be annoyed at until I realized it was her mom checking in on her.

I went home not getting my hopes up and then checked my texts. Got one saying, "We're definitely meeting again. Your place. I want to cook for you. I know how to boil water."

I'm tempted to drop her. Last thing I want is to bang some cute sweetheart that lives with her parents, get her hopes up, and then ditch her...I'd rather stick to fucking white bar sluts that wouldn't give a shit about even remembering my name.

[Beyond Borders]

(12-24-2012 04:20 AM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

Anyway, it's funny I'm posting on here considering I just got back from a date with a girl that, I'm pretty damn sure is a "nice girl".

Just got back from an OKC date. I literally restarted my account, updated some profile questions and photos, and 15 minutes later had a date with some cute Korean chick.

Met up with her and the date went really well. Caught her several time staring at me. Kino escalation. She dropped me off at my car, and right as I was about to lean in for the kiss, she says, "Can I get out and hug you?" I thought this was incredibly endearing and cute. I've never had a girl do this before. I responded, "Ha! I was gonna kiss you goodnight, but uh, sure, come out and hug me." I went in for the kiss but she wouldn't give me more than a little smooch on the lips, but she hugged me for quite a while. This girl is 24 and lives with her parents. By all accounts it sounds like her parents are very restrictive. She got one phone call during the date which I was ready to be annoyed at until I realized it was her mom checking in on her.

I went home not getting my hopes up and then checked my texts. Got one saying, "We're definitely meeting again. Your place. I want to cook for you. I know how to boil water."

I'm tempted to drop her. Last thing I want is to bang some cute sweetheart that lives with her parents, get her hopes up, and then ditch her...I'd rather stick to fucking white bar sluts that wouldn't give a shit about even remembering my name.

lol I don't know; it sounds like she's done this before. She seems to want to get it moving forward at a steady click, so I wouldn't worry too much about murdering someone's innocence. Inviting herself to your place like that just signals to me a possible closet freak, or at least someone who has more experience than she's letting on.

Definitely sounds like she's looking for a relationship though.

[BiggNastee]

So. Just "own" my emotions and control them? Houston, give me a break. Im only 20 cutie