Quote: (05-07-2017 06:10 PM)etwsake Wrote:  

I was afraid of post after post telling me "suck it up fattie" and stuff like that.

Oh, ya. I forgot.

Suck it up, fattie!



I can't recall any of your posting history and don't know the details of your life, but if you're ever needing a psychological break from whatever is going on for you in Japan, Beijing is just a short trip across the pond.

If you need a weeks getaway at anytime, PM me. I should be able to able to help you out.

There are a ton of sites of significant historical significance here in BJ that involve a lot of walking to see properly and there's no need to visit any microbreweries while you are here. I could set you up with a housing situation with a fridge stocked with only healthy, low calorie options.

Hey OP, I read some of this thread earlier today and now it has gotten even longer so I'll have to read it later.

I am 28, 6'2'' and at my peak weight this year I was 314.

I've lost 24 lbs in the past 5 weeks or so, and based on what I read in your original post I think where you are now is where I have definitely been.

I'd be happy to give you any advice, so hit me up if you want by PM and I'll get back to you. Otherwise it seems like many of these guys in this thread are giving solid advice.

Quote: (05-07-2017 11:58 AM)debeguiled Wrote:  

Quote: (05-07-2017 09:43 AM)etwsake Wrote:  

Thanks to everyone for all the replies.

It's a lot to think about and a lot of really great advice. I've already done some of it and that's how I lost the weight the first time around. I just need to find that drive and discipline that I had before so I can do it again.

I'm going to read and re-read all the advice and implement as much of it as I can, immediately.

I don't know if this will work for you or not, but my eating habits, which I couldn't change for the life of me, didn't turn into something I could control until I found a good therapist (male, which is helpful if he is a good one.) and went to him for about a year.

You speak about drive and discipline, and sometimes that is definitely the issue, but sometimes there are just deeper issues that need to be addressed, and once they are, the eating issue just disappears on its own, as in my case.

I always envied people who could go all day forgetting to eat, or get so involved in a project that the forgot to eat, or people who could get into intermittent fasting, because I knew that wasn't me. I always ate, always remembered to eat, and often eat things that gave me instant gratification.

I felt like you too, that there was some fundamental value missing in me, like drive or discipline that was either simply missing, or lacking, and if I just beat myself up more, and shamed myself into trying harder, the problem would be solved.

Not to go into too many details, but my therapist explored all other areas in my life, and asked me a bunch of questions, and really got me thinking about what I needed from people and situations, and guess what, I didn't even know.

I was trying so hard to fulfill what I thought was expected of me, that I couldn't even tell you what I expected of other people. If you asked me what color I wanted to paint my own bedroom, I probably wouldn't even have a preference to tell you.

So, my therapist got me on a program of assertiveness training, (I know, I know, it seemed like a bunch of psychobabble to me at the time too) and he very practically and concretely mapped out what I could ask for and expect from other people, and why sometimes you can't just let the little shit go, you have to speak up for yourself, whether it means telling a cashier in a store not to talk to you in that tone of voice or even asking to see a manager, and ditto with family member or even some stranger trying to bum a smoke on the street.

What I found was that I was so committed to being a decent person, and not making a big deal over the little stuff in life, that people were walking all over me, and it took about a year, and it was awesome to have a non judgmental, ex military dude who was a therapist now , listen to what my life was like, offer supportive comments and insights, and help me work towards having the social skills I needed to get things done in my life.

He and I never spoke about comfort eating or over eating at all. The funny thing though was, as my skills grew in dealing with all the social situations of life, I found that my need to turn to food just disappeared on its own, because it was actually response to the more spiritual problem of loving other people way more than I loved myself.

I know all too well your feelings of shame, and impulse to isolate yourself. In a way it makes sense when a man feels he hasn't lived up to his ideals, to want to hide, it's the most natural thing in the world. It is also a common masculine trait to never ask for help, but to take the responsibility on yourself to fix yourself.

So, my two cents would be, at least consider therapy, and consider it for its own sake, and not just for solving the problem of overeating. Also, make sure you find a good therapist, and if you get weird feelings from one on the first meeting, next them like you would next a borderline girl, and keep looking.

Obviously, there are no guarantees that your situation is similar to mine, but the possibility is still there.

I give you credit for being honest and starting this thread, that takes guts, being honest, and I have seen men on this forum respond to honest requests for help with patience and decency, so you are already helping yourself, even if it doesn't feel like it.

A final observation. Almost everyone in this world does some sort of self medicating of one form or another, it is just that not all sorts of self medicating show themselves visibly on your body. Unfortunately for you, yours does, when you eat you get fat.

There are people out there who self medicate by being narcissistic, or passive aggressive, or secretly cruel, and they are, I suppose lucky there are no physical repercussions from their behavior. Imagine if a guy who masturbated too much suddenly found that his head took on the appearance of a big dick, and everyone would know what his dirty secret was just by looking at him.

He would be up fap creek.

Anyway, my point is, there may be some benefits from coming at this thing sideways instead of head on. I know because that is what happened to me. By addressing the personal and emotional issues, it seemed like the physical manifestations of my distress kind of fell away, little by little, and the same might be true for you if you choose to go down that road.

Just make sure you find a therapist that is truly in your corner though, that is the key.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

Man if I could like this post a million times... I'd create a schedule to hit it a million times! This resonates so much with us men nowdays. We all try to be decent in our different ways... which makes mofos who live by the Iron Fist walk all over us who live by the Golden Rule! We then find a way to cope because we never want to offend anybody. Rinse & Repeat! I literally almost went bankrupt because I tried to pay all my bills like usual, even before paying myself, while making way less than I used to. Almost had the same shit happen again... and I simply couldn't understand.

I barely bought shit for myself. Well I'm was living at my means... and not below my means & I was not paying myself first! Once you identify your issues OP, and work on them with patience & courage... shit will get better. It's simply a matter of time. I would also recommend you see a therapist to fix your mind as quickly as possible. Once your thinking is fixed... your diet & fat loss will simply be a formality. This will take some effort though. But once it's done... it's done for good

Quote: (05-07-2017 07:05 PM)Kona Wrote:  

You are in Japan, and mention you need to find an English speaking therapist. Is that a good idea? Do you need to be in Japan? If you don't speak Japanese this just seems pretty difficult.

Also, I bet everyone there looks at you funny. That probably leads to some discomfort. Why don't you move to Omaha or st. Louis where there's many other people with your issues, and many more treatment options.

There's a difference between being able to live and love in a foreign language, and being able to fully understand therapy in it.

I think psychologically he might be healthier in America, but the normalisation of obesity won't help him lose weight.

Quote: (05-07-2017 03:09 AM)etwsake Wrote:  

but now my depression and weight are so intertwined I don't know where one ends and the other begins.

That's good, because eating healthy and exercising targets both problems. So you don't really need to know where one starts and the other ends. Your body will fight for the first few weeks, so it will get worse before it gets better, but once you get into that rythm you're unstoppable. You don't need to be athlete of the year, you don't need to drown in your own sweat every day, just get in there and do some work 1/1,5 hours a day. Consistency is more important than intensity right now. Also start reading about depression, see what you're dealing with.

The thing about losing weight is, that for me, it was the easiest thing I've ever done. You can start whenever you want, and it doesn't cost you a thing. You might even save a few bucks. Take a good multivitamin for men to go with it. And don't tell me you don't know what's healthy what's not, you know damn well. Here's a crazy idea, if you can logically explain to me why you wouldn't start with this today I'm all ears, otherwise today seems like a fine ass day.

What I would suggest is you sit down and ask yourself this: how bad do I want to get out of this mess that I've created? If the answer is bad as fuck. Then you need to dig deep into yourself and find that last drop of willpower, then consume it. Once you get into that rythm of eathing healthy, taking your multivitamin, exercise, learning about your illness it's smooth sailing.

I don't how bad your depression is. If you can't function in your everyday life and you're contemplating ending your life, then it's bad and you need to see a doctor. That fact that you're posting here tells me it might not be that bad.

All I'm saying is: start NOW! Not the 1st of whichever the fuck next month is. Not this summer and especially not the 1st of January.

Once again I just want to thank every one of you guys that posted here or messaged me in the last 24 hours.

I am simply floored by all the positive and encouraging comments and advice. I was feeling so down and hopeless and the idea of even starting down the path of getting healthy seemed insurmountable. But my attitude feels like night and day compared to yesterday. I felt utterly on my own but now I feel like I have the support of a community of men that genuinely wants me to succeed.

Suits, thank you for your unbelievably generous offer and I might just take you up on it.

There are obviously a lot of factors involved in me ballooning up as much as I did in such a short time. I've definitely struggled with depression most of my life. I used to bury it with alcohol but I managed to give that up. I don't think it's environmental. My mental state and anxiety is not a result of living in Japan; it follows me wherever I go. I've put off dealing with it head on all these years but I think I might be at the point where I'll need to seek professional help cause sometimes I get into "funks" that last for weeks or months that I don't just "snap out of."

I actually love living here, despite not being a fluent speaker. I live within an hour of Tokyo, and I have a solid core of close friends (non-Japanese) that I can really rely on. I never get bummed out about feeling like an "outsider" or anything like that. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I like living here so much.

But CascadeCombo hit the nail on the head: it's very very easy to just slip into isolation here, and it's destructive. There are 24 hour convenient stores on every block. I used to go at 2AM and get whiskey, now if I bury my feelings by eating. Load up on all that high calorie processed shit and within minutes I'm back in my room, in front of the TV, eating a day and a half's worth of calories. (And yeah, I would pig out on the baum cakes...especially the chocolate covered ones.)

Despite tipping the scales at 300 pounds, I'm not an invalid yet. All the fat seems to be sitting right on my gut and man-tits and ass. I still ride my bicycle everywhere, and I can still walk all over the place. I lift too, but nothing extreme. I don't/can't run, but I can still move, so I'll be walking and biking every day, and lifting every other day.

I'm going to repeat that mantra "If you don't buy it, you can't eat it." I need to remind myself of that. All the late night bags of chocolate didn't magically appear. I had to leave my room specifically to get it and bring it back. No more of that.

As of today I'm eating as clean as I can. I bought broccoli and boneless skinless chicken breast for dinner. I'm gonna sift through all the responses and figure out the best eating plan to maximize fat burn. The only good thing about being as fat as I am is that the first 15 pounds or so should come off quickly if I can stick with it for a few weeks. Once I see some results, hopefully that will keep me motivated and honest. One habit I already have is only drinking water and tea. I cut out all sugary drinks a long time ago and don't miss them. Unfortunately, I replaced them with sugary solids, so that's my next challenge.

A year ago I was on the right track, and I thought I'd be in the best shape of my life as I turned 40. Then I blew it. There's no way I'll reach that goal now. But I still want to reach that state even if it takes me til I'm 41 or 42.

But I'm getting ahead of myself...like any addict I need to take it a day at a time. At least I can say today is Day One now.

Gentlemen....my sincere thanks.

Quote: (05-08-2017 04:14 AM)etwsake Wrote:  

Once again I just want to thank every one of you guys that posted here or messaged me in the last 24 hours.

I am simply floored by all the positive and encouraging comments and advice. I was feeling so down and hopeless and the idea of even starting down the path of getting healthy seemed insurmountable. But my attitude feels like night and day compared to yesterday. I felt utterly on my own but now I feel like I have the support of a community of men that genuinely wants me to succeed.

Suits, thank you for your unbelievably generous offer and I might just take you up on it.

There are obviously a lot of factors involved in me ballooning up as much as I did in such a short time. I've definitely struggled with depression most of my life. I used to bury it with alcohol but I managed to give that up. I don't think it's environmental. My mental state and anxiety is not a result of living in Japan; it follows me wherever I go. I've put off dealing with it head on all these years but I think I might be at the point where I'll need to seek professional help cause sometimes I get into "funks" that last for weeks or months that I don't just "snap out of."

I actually love living here, despite not being a fluent speaker. I live within an hour of Tokyo, and I have a solid core of close friends (non-Japanese) that I can really rely on. I never get bummed out about feeling like an "outsider" or anything like that. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I like living here so much.

But CascadeCombo hit the nail on the head: it's very very easy to just slip into isolation here, and it's destructive. There are 24 hour convenient stores on every block. I used to go at 2AM and get whiskey, now if I bury my feelings by eating. Load up on all that high calorie processed shit and within minutes I'm back in my room, in front of the TV, eating a day and a half's worth of calories. (And yeah, I would pig out on the baum cakes...especially the chocolate covered ones.)

Despite tipping the scales at 300 pounds, I'm not an invalid yet. All the fat seems to be sitting right on my gut and man-tits and ass. I still ride my bicycle everywhere, and I can still walk all over the place. I lift too, but nothing extreme. I don't/can't run, but I can still move, so I'll be walking and biking every day, and lifting every other day.

I'm going to repeat that mantra "If you don't buy it, you can't eat it." I need to remind myself of that. All the late night bags of chocolate didn't magically appear. I had to leave my room specifically to get it and bring it back. No more of that.

As of today I'm eating as clean as I can. I bought broccoli and boneless skinless chicken breast for dinner. I'm gonna sift through all the responses and figure out the best eating plan to maximize fat burn. The only good thing about being as fat as I am is that the first 15 pounds or so should come off quickly if I can stick with it for a few weeks. Once I see some results, hopefully that will keep me motivated and honest. One habit I already have is only drinking water and tea. I cut out all sugary drinks a long time ago and don't miss them. Unfortunately, I replaced them with sugary solids, so that's my next challenge.

A year ago I was on the right track, and I thought I'd be in the best shape of my life as I turned 40. Then I blew it. There's no way I'll reach that goal now. But I still want to reach that state even if it takes me til I'm 41 or 42.

But I'm getting ahead of myself...like any addict I need to take it a day at a time. At least I can say today is Day One now.

Gentlemen....my sincere thanks.

We've all been there. This is a self improvement forum, we are all here to improve. I was pushing a flabby 270lb before (now I'm a more muscluar 200), so I know how you feel, I also binge when sad... Sometimes I've consumed multiple pounds of chocolate in one sitting. Low carb helped me break free from that.

Your exercise plan seems good. Lifting, walking and cycling are far better for your knees.

Your dietary plan, is decent, but I'd counter-intuitively suggest you leave the skin on. Dietary fat is not your enemy, and will in fact keep you full and energised for longer. (I'll say again, keto isn't the theoretical quickest method of weightloss, but it's the best way to keep sane on a diet to completion).

I'd wait 'til you are accustomed to your new diet before forcing a change in your drinking. Too many changes at once will be stressful.

Who cares about your age. A healthy and active 42 year old would have no problem in Japan. A fit 6' tall guy could easily find a girlfriend, and you could look forward to 50 years more of life, instead of the 10 you'd get if you don't slim down.

I was in this position 5 years ago. Although not quite 300lbs, I was at 260 but also a chainsmoker and an alcoholic.

Step 1: Get pissed off about how shit your life is
Step 2: Act on that anger through excercise

I picked running. If I were to pick again, I would've picked a combination of swimming/ lifting.
You live in Japan? You could literally eat all the delicious fish and veggies you want, and still lose weight.

If I woke up tomorrow and I was in your shoes this is what I would do:

First, I would go through my kitchen and throw away any food/drink that was unhealthy and full of sugar. Then I would look up meals which are healthy and learn to cook them. For meals out, have a few places you can go where the food you eat is healthy. In terms of diet , I would stick to something which is very low in sugar, with lots of vegetables and has little processed/ fried foods.

Secondly, I would stick to a fitness program. In your case, I would do 3 days of machine/weights in the gym or home calisthenics (body weight exercises like push ups, squats) at first then gradually move to 5 days a week. On off days go for walks.

After 4-6 weeks you will have developed good eating and exercises habits. Once the habits are instilled you will find it relatively easy to stick with this and after a long time, perhaps 2 years, you will be 100 pounds lighter.

You should view your food addiction like your past experience with alcoholism. Quitting alcohol required changing your habits, not giving into temptation, and being committed to making a positive change to your life. The fact that you have quit drinking means you are clearly capable of doing what is necessary to get your weight under control. Good luck.

I feel the need to reply here (I may end up being late for work, too, but OP, I feel the need to be supportive).

My BMI isn't quite as bad but it's approaching it. I'm not dissatisfied because I can't get laid - I actually manage quite well, and women react decently to me. I'm dissatisfied because I wonder how good I'd be with the ladies if I had a fantastic body rather than, well, being a fat lazy piece of shit. Going through life and never knowing would be something I'd immensely regret.

I'm 29, and now is the time for me to start reversing what I've done to my body. You can do it too, OP.

What has worked for me over the last six months is a combination of the LCHF ( low carb high fat) diet, cutting down on beer a lot and intermittent fasting and full fasting. Right now I'm 22 hours into a 24 hour fast. Only lemon water and coffee.

I don't feel hungry, I feel full of energy. I'm planning on doing a 48 hour fast to step things up.

Doing this regime I've lost three stone over the last six or seven months. One stone is 14lb so that would be around 40-45lb.

This is with no exercise other than walking and my job which at times is physical. I only ever get really hungry when on an extended fast and I've been mostly in ketosis for the last six or seven months.

LCHF is the easiest diet with the best food. It also helps depression and I'm sure bacon and eggs, steak with veggies ( no starches) eggs, salads and all the other tasty food will lift your spirits and lose your pounds as well.

Give it a go!!!

Oh and I haven't calorie counted. Just eaten till full when genuinely hungry.

The feminists would hang their heads in shame if they knew what sort of things men really talk about when they are not around.

I would recommend going to Overeaters Anonymous meetings, not sure if they have English-speaking ones in Japan though.

And maybe get on some anti-depressants.

Something that might work out is for you to go out to clubs and bars constantly, and approach, approach and approach.
When you will see the cutie that rejected you being swooped by a fit guy, it should be enough to trigger your inner rage and will to become a better version of yourself.

Quote: (05-08-2017 04:14 AM)etwsake Wrote:  

I am simply floored by all the positive and encouraging comments and advice.

This is why I love this forum. A parallel forum for women would just be 'great at any size' or petty backstabbing.

Quote:Quote:

I was feeling so down and hopeless and the idea of even starting down the path of getting healthy seemed insurmountable. But my attitude feels like night and day compared to yesterday. I felt utterly on my own but now I feel like I have the support of a community of men that genuinely wants me to succeed.

Don't give too much credence to your feelings and mood swings. They are more driven by what you're eating than you may realize. Just commit to executing your plan regardless of how you feel at the moment.

I second the other posters who have suggested avoiding added sugar, not just because of the calories but because a low-carb diet seems to leave you less hungry. That will help you control binge eating.
[/quote]

Quote: (05-08-2017 02:06 PM)ElFlaco Wrote:  

Quote: (05-08-2017 04:14 AM)etwsake Wrote:  

I am simply floored by all the positive and encouraging comments and advice.

This is why I love this forum. A parallel forum for women would just be 'great at any size' or petty backstabbing.

Of course we want other men to succeed. Generally the male psyche is primed for competition, but the thing is this - our Red Pill Neomasculine pussy and Game loving group is tiny anyway (in this world filled with Blue Pillers, SJWs, Game deniers etc.). In a way many men here have formed a tribe and a tribe helps each other out to become stronger. That is also part of the male psyche aside from the urge to compete.

Quote: (05-08-2017 12:02 PM)Rocha Wrote:  

Something that might work out is for you to go out to clubs and bars constantly, and approach, approach and approach.
When you will see the cutie that rejected you being swooped by a fit guy, it should be enough to trigger your inner rage and will to become a better version of yourself.

Or it'll damage his self esteem and perception of improvement.

Due to the 80:20 rule, I was still unattractive to most girls when I was only moderately fat, even though I had lost a significant amount of weight.

Quote: (05-08-2017 12:44 AM)Transsimian Wrote:  

Quote: (05-07-2017 07:05 PM)Kona Wrote:  

You are in Japan, and mention you need to find an English speaking therapist. Is that a good idea? Do you need to be in Japan? If you don't speak Japanese this just seems pretty difficult.

Also, I bet everyone there looks at you funny. That probably leads to some discomfort. Why don't you move to Omaha or st. Louis where there's many other people with your issues, and many more treatment options.

There's a difference between being able to live and love in a foreign language, and being able to fully understand therapy in it.

I think psychologically he might be healthier in America, but the normalisation of obesity won't help him lose weight.

That didn't come out the way I wanted it to.

I've been in Japan with big dudes. People stare. One of my cousins came to visit and people wanted their picture taken with him. People asked if he was Akebono.

I understand wanting to be a certain place you love, but if your body needs a change, and this guys does, go where its easier.

This guy should come to Hawaii. Lots of Japanese people/stuff here. Lots of weight loss doctors and endless swimming. Its never too cold to go outside.

Aloha!

Just happened to watch this recently. Fascinating, but watch the whole thing and keep in mind the caveats (e.g. pre-existing medical conditions).

Kona, I would absolutely love to live in Hawaii...wouldn't everyone? Too expensive though. But there would be a never ending supply of Japanese girls at least.

Speaking of girls, I haven't even thought about Game or approaching in months. It's not even on my radar right now. My last lay was back in August and it was just a one-nighter with a a post-wall 38 year old pudgy Japanese chick. Nothing to write home about.

Honestly, I'm so self-conscious about how I look right now I doubt I'd even be able to get over performance anxiety. I've been concerned the last few years anyway cause I'm pushing 40, but I know that plenty of guys here still crush it well into their 40s. But not if they're fat! (I'm generalizing but you guys know what I mean.)

I'm putting my health/appearance first above everything else, and when I get that closer to how I want it, then I can think about approaching again. I'll feel comfortable enough at 250 to start. Still fat, but not disgusting. If/when I get down to 200 or under? That's when I'll close this thread and take up residence in the "Older Guys" Game thread.

Gonna be a while though.

As for the "water diet"....I have no doubt it would work, if I somehow woke up with the superhuman will power necessary to not eat a bite of food for an entire month and still lead a regular life. Who does that, other than inmates doing hunger strikes? That just seems retarded. Of course starving yourself is going to lead to dramatic weight loss, but it's impossible to maintain, and that's assuming it doesn't kill you or permanently fuck up your insides.

Interesting video though. That guy is crazy. Can't believe he really didn't eat a scrap of food for a month. My old yoga instructor used to do a week or two at a time, but the longest I've ever gone was over 48 hours and the hunger pangs were killing me.

Quote: (05-08-2017 07:36 PM)Tengen Wrote:  

Just happened to watch this recently. Fascinating, but watch the whole thing and keep in mind the caveats (e.g. pre-existing medical conditions).

There is a study in the other thread I linked to a man who ate nothing for 365 days. That guy was obese and his progress was monitored by a crew of physicians.

But keep in mind that the guy took in a good dosage of supplements, Omega 3 acids and protein powder to get the minimum amount of protein in. The body very soon adapted to the fact that it had to use the fat tissue for sustenance. The only thing that he had to do though is a modest daily regimen of some lifting, so that the body would not start cannibalizing muscle tissue too much.

http://www.menshealth.com/health/craziest-diet-ever

PD Mangan from RogueHealthfitness writes about it a lot. We know now that intermittent fasting is surprisingly healthy, which explains why one meal per day actually works so well. This idea of 5 meals per day likely came out of the regimen of competitive bodybuilders and even then I am not sure about the effectiveness, because the body needs 16 hours of no carb-intake to start burning internal fat fast.

I personally tested this out myself by the way and went 10 days without food - I just had flaxseeds and protein powder as a form of supplements once a day that I consumed with my supplements. I lost roughly 1.5 pounds per day.

Christian Bale used a similar diet to become anorexic for his role in The Mechanic. He only added an apple and a can of tuna to the supplements.

2 simple steps

1. Do intermittent fasting. Eat normally on one day and nothing on the next. Do that for a few months and you will lose loads of weight without exercise. Worked for me.

2. Quit porn and masturbation to fix physical and mental health.
Thread for that here: thread-12879.html

Giving up bad food is very difficult. I crave sugary stuff too. It seems like you know how to lose weight and have done it before. So congratulations on that!

I'd say one doable step is to stop buying bad food to store at home. Shop while you're feeling well and shop with a list. Once you're stuck at home and feel bad, if unhealthy food is not available immediately, it's easier to pass on it.

And you should go see a therapist, it can have a great effect if you find a decent one.

Quote: (05-09-2017 03:21 AM)Zelcorpion Wrote:  

I personally tested this out myself by the way and went 10 days without food - I just had flaxseeds and protein powder as a form of supplements once a day that I consumed with my supplements. I lost roughly 1.5 pounds per day.

Zel how much protein did you take? I ask because protein powder has calories, which I know is obvious. Were you taking enough to do 1gram per 1 lb lean muscle?

How was your lifting? Retain strength?

Thanks.