Quote: (10-03-2011 01:10 AM)Vicious Wrote:
Something that took me years to get was the fact that good looks works against you if you're being a jerk/assertive.
I can't emphasize this enough. I cringe to think of all the sunken prospects I lost in my teens for failure to recognize this simple truth.
Quote: (10-04-2011 09:55 AM)Moma Wrote:
Is it even possible to overgame? I thought the whole point of game was understanding what it takes to get the lizard into bed or to do what one wants. So how can one overgame? Just curious...or is it about going through the entire repetoire of 'game' without noticing which triggers she is responding to?
Game is a broad term that can actually mean a lot of things. The theoretical/academic perspectives that Tom Leykis outlines in his shows, for example, can all be considered game. Likewise, game can also be defined in practical terms(negging, push-pull, building rapport, etc).
When we talk about overgaming, we're usually referring to an overuse of the more
practical aspects of game.
These aspects are designed specifically to build attraction (and, later, to get her to be more intimate with you). The assumption is that you're dealing with a female who is lukewarm to you at best and downright dismissive of you at worst. You use negs, rapport building, routines, cold approaches and a whole host of other practical things to try and build attraction for you.
The thing with the good-looking guy is that he needs to do about half of the work. Many of these practical phases of game(cocky-funny, neg, etc) are redundant for him. These are designed to build attraction, and the good looking guy has usually already attracted the girl.
Overgaming can occur when a good-looking guy fails to realize this, and begins to rely on the more practical aspects of attraction-building game as though he needed them as much as any other dude.
As basil and others in this thread have already pointed out, women are more insecure than a lot of guys think. They are people, just like you.
This means that they can be intimidated or carry low self esteem, just like any male/AFC we know, if they come across a high value partner.
Even a hot girl can be a little intimidated around a good looking guy she is attracted to, as many an HB10 carries insecurities about her looks/social status (again, just like many dudes). You can imagine how 5s, 6s and 7s feel. If you've got enough going for you, you can scare the shit out of them even if you force some tingles. They're a lot more fragile than the average guy understands.
When that same good looking guy starts negging her and/or running cocky-funny game, it can push her insecurity over the edge. She is already a little wary of her status relative to yours-if you start trying to take her down a notch, she'll just feel lousy and she will no longer wish to be around you, even if she is attracted. You'll have damaged her ego far too much.
That is overgaming. You can also call this "trying too hard". That attractive guy is simply working too hard to build something(attraction) that is already there. He doesn't need to neg her and tear her down-she is already looking up to him.
A more laid-back style of game would work out better for the good-looking guy. His goal is not to build attraction, but rather not to mess up what he inherently has (while still creating a little sexual tension via kino and telling a joke or two to build some rapport). If he makes use of most standard PUA tactics (neg, cocky-funny, etc), he'll end up overgaming. She will assume that he is either a condescending douche/jerk or a guy with zero self-esteem(acting like less than he is). If she can't reconcile these, then she'll just conclude that he is weird.
His chances of improving the notch count would probably go up if he did less.
The bottomline: For some guys, less is more.
More on this topic
here.
Also check out
Real Made Men.