[doc holliday]

Kona thing is though that she'll take half of the marital property. I'm guessing that based on the discrepancy in incomes that much of the marital property is due to her wealth so he should do fine financially. Plus he may get some alimony from her too, that is quite likely. Ironically though if he's not the custodial parent, he could end up paying her child support believe it or not, even though she makes more than 3x what our friend here makes. Judge may also make her pay some of his legal bills too. His biggest loss will be not seeing his child everyday, it's a huge loss no doubt. But hey, there's strange out there to be slayed so it all works out, right?

[PapayaTapper]

(12-01-2018 09:21 PM)questor70 Wrote:  

I don't condone the cheating but I do not subscribe to the idea of staying in loveless marriages for the sake of kids. It's really not good for the kids. Divorce is the lesser of two evils.

Also, the thread topic is not whether to drop the bomb, but when. He's already gone to counseling and it didn't work and he's written off his wife. So it's too late to game her back into being a princess. Sure sounds like a lost cause to me.

Id agree with you except OP is still attracted to her.

(12-01-2018 02:52 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

I do enjoy having sex with her and I really enjoy her company when she's normal; but this masculine shit has to go. I didn't know whether or not she could be scared str8 or if her fucking humongous ego would get in the way

He's reached a breaking point because he's not getting what he wants and doesn't know how to get it.

It wont be easy as there's a lot of bad LTR game to undo... but yes...it can be done.

[Jefferson]

(12-01-2018 08:50 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

And because of our repulsion to drama we tend to let little shit slide and pick our battles. The problem is that by letting little shit slide we are transferring our masculine power to her. It happens in teeny almost imperceptible increments over a long time. Before you know you look up and she's the one wearing the pants and a fucking bitch.

So you never let anything slide?

You challenge every little thing?

[quaker13]

(12-01-2018 06:54 PM)EndsExpect Wrote:  

(12-01-2018 03:10 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

I have not, but it sounds like this weekend might be the perfect weekend for it. I have demanded she change or im leaving

I've asked her to change and then she says she needs a bunch of cryptic nonsensical things from me in order to be submissive, so basically bullshit

What Exactly did she say?

Here is the thing... female speak typically needs to be plugged into google translate, but with some effort it can be deciphered.

On the other hand... if you just have the itch to be free and this is just an excuse. Just take that step and be free. Just do one thing for all the men out there getting boned in divorces... go for some fucking alimony or child support or something.

I'll give you an exact quote "spend so much time with me i ask you to go out with your friends"
she wants me to clean and straighten up more, i do the vast majority of that anyway
she wants me to be more active in the overall matters of the household but won't give me the reins. Bitch this is not about to be a manager subordinate task. Either you give me all the reins or do it your fucking self

[quaker13]

(12-01-2018 07:29 PM)Dodgy Wrote:  

@OP
If you are considering leaving her, you should meet with a Family law attorney ASAP, specifically one that specializes in "Father Rights," so you know what your options are if you decide to legally separate or divorce. This is especially crucial in regards to your child, and the inevitable fight for custody over her/him if it goes to divorce.

And you know a divorce proceeding will be an all out war, so don't wait to get a lawyer after you decide to separate, start getting legal advice now.

I'll do that asap, I would never ask for alimony and she doesn't "seem" like the type but i've heard too many stories and i will absolutely learn from the mistakes of others

[quaker13]

(12-01-2018 08:09 PM)Jefferson Wrote:  

I agree with Windome Earle. She could be aware of the infidelities.

It would explain the coldness.

She has not a single inkling. Nothing. Zero. Zelch. Nada.

I don't have affairs i have one or two offs

[PapayaTapper]

(12-01-2018 10:14 PM)Jefferson Wrote:  

(12-01-2018 08:50 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

And because of our repulsion to drama we tend to let little shit slide and pick our battles. The problem is that by letting little shit slide we are transferring our masculine power to her. It happens in teeny almost imperceptible increments over a long time. Before you know you look up and she's the one wearing the pants and a fucking bitch.

So you never let anything slide?

You challenge every little thing?

I challenge very little because I dont have to. I avoid 99.9 % of the drama by screening for this one Rule 1 prerequisite in an LTR candidate. Its not easy but its worth it. I banged through several hundred between my last GF and and current girl. I have zero tolerance for HPD or other depressive spectrum shit. Ive earned the right to be choosy

But I also do little things that prevent that power creep that I didnt used to. For example (And this is just one that comes to mind) I used to ask "Babe where do you want to eat tonight?" Thats a seemingly innocent and normal question. Im pretty easy going, and will have a good time and enjoy whatever restaurant I go. Im a nice guy and want my girl to be happy..right?

The problem is that all decisions require a certain amount of power and that question is transferring, however seemingly trivial, a modicum of power.

Instead I say "Hey doll face...I want you to put on that little sexy blue dress and be ready at 7. I'm taking you to out to dinner at XYZ. "

I cant tell you how many times girls have told me how sexy it makes them feel to be with a man that knows what he wants...and takes it

Indecision is very analogous to a lack of confidence. Its received by a woman as a weakness. Weakness real or perceived is a major pussy desiccant

[Leonard D Neubache]

(12-01-2018 10:14 PM)Jefferson Wrote:  

(12-01-2018 08:50 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

And because of our repulsion to drama we tend to let little shit slide and pick our battles. The problem is that by letting little shit slide we are transferring our masculine power to her. It happens in teeny almost imperceptible increments over a long time. Before you know you look up and she's the one wearing the pants and a fucking bitch.

So you never let anything slide?

You challenge every little thing?

There are ways and means of playing the happy middle where you dont sweat the trivia but put them on notice anyway.

They make a trivial demand and you fix their eyes for a second and establish jungle dominance, then laugh it away, "sure thing, sweet cakes, whatever makes you happy", and you slap them on the ass on your way out of the room.

They get what they want, but they understand inherently that it's only by your benevolence.

[RatInTheWoods]

(12-01-2018 08:50 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

She may be a bitch from hell but she's still a woman. They aint that complicated

SHOCK HORROR

Papaya makes first comment I can't agree with!!!!!

[PapayaTapper]

(12-01-2018 10:37 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

(12-01-2018 06:54 PM)EndsExpect Wrote:  

(12-01-2018 03:10 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

I have not, but it sounds like this weekend might be the perfect weekend for it. I have demanded she change or im leaving

I've asked her to change and then she says she needs a bunch of cryptic nonsensical things from me in order to be submissive, so basically bullshit

What Exactly did she say?

Here is the thing... female speak typically needs to be plugged into google translate, but with some effort it can be deciphered.

On the other hand... if you just have the itch to be free and this is just an excuse. Just take that step and be free. Just do one thing for all the men out there getting boned in divorces... go for some fucking alimony or child support or something.

I'll give you an exact quote 1 "spend so much time with me i ask you to go out with your friends"
2 she wants me to clean and straighten up more, i do the vast majority of that anyway
she wants me to be more active in the overall matters of the household but won't give me the reins. 3 Bitch this is not about to be a manager subordinate task. Either you give me all the reins or do it your fucking self

1 Im not understanding. Is she telling you to spend more time with your friends and less with her?


2 You guys make enough money that you should have domestic help. How many hours a week does she work? You?

3 She shouldnt need to give you reins of a household if your the head of it.

[RatInTheWoods]

(12-01-2018 10:40 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

I'll do that asap, I would never ask for alimony and she doesn't "seem" like the type but i've heard too many stories and i will absolutely learn from the mistakes of others

If you decide to pull the trigger on divorce, make sure you "lose" your job for 6-12 months beforehand, and become full time carer for you child.

You can then go for full custody and alimony.

[Jefferson]

Very interesting, PT.

The Happy Gene rule is a sensible one if you don't like drama. It's just I know that, having been with an HG girl before, they sometimes also challenge the peace. Obviously on much rarer instances, as you say you challenge little, which would imply that at times you have to, even with an HG girl. But I forgot that my current situation is different, it doesn't have to be constant challenges.

I just wonder if that HG is active for life, or if it deteriorates over time, as the woman hits 40 plus and life's disappointments and hardships take their toll. I suspect the latter.

Your decisiveness advice is as always gold.

[PapayaTapper]

(12-01-2018 11:59 PM)Jefferson Wrote:  

Very interesting, PT.

The Happy Gene rule is a sensible one if you don't like drama. It's just I know that, having been with an HG girl before, they sometimes also challenge the peace. Obviously on much rarer instances, as you say you challenge little, which would imply that at times you have to, even with an HG girl. But I forgot that my current situation is different, it doesn't have to be constant challenges.

I just wonder if that HG is active for life, or if it deteriorates over time, as the woman hits 40 plus and life's disappointments and hardships take their toll. I suspect the latter.

Your decisiveness advice is as always gold.

Sure. There's no question that girls will always always "test". I think its in their genetic makeup to do so and sort of a never ending status check. (I mentoned in an earleir post today that shit tests never stop...they just change with the nature of the relationship). The difference is that the level of needed response.

Her personality type, disposition, etc combined with my lifestyle, personality, experience mean that the vast majority of the time my response (challenge) to her "test" amounts to a raised eyebrow and or an amused. dismissive ( as Leonard posted) smirk.

The very worst case scenarios involve me telling her that she's going to get spanked in a semi-serious way. The inevitable faux dismissal of my threat coincides with a lower lip bite and wet panties. An exuberant blow job almost always follows once Ive manhandled her and actually spanked her ass

I think a positive / optimistic / generally happy personality stays that way.

Additionally studies have shown over and over that women are happiest and 'fulfilled" when they have had children and submit to a strong yet loving man / husband

[quaker13]

(12-01-2018 08:51 PM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

(12-01-2018 03:20 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

(12-01-2018 03:17 PM)Longshanks Wrote:  

Have you checked whether she's having an affair? No hello after a week trip is raw. All the best.

No i haven't. TBF, i've been one cheating fool and part of the reason i don't feel bad i because of her behavior. I'm not sure i'd even care that much if she had an affair.

Just so I haven't got this wrong. You've been fucking other women and she's cold to you now, but it's not because you've been fucking other women, it's because of money and age and every other excuse you can come up with other than the stuff that's your fault.

Am I summing this up correctly?

You put your dick before your wife and your kid and now you're looking to bail on the consequences AND your kid.

So in response to the question posed in your OP is would say "when she's drunk and has a gun in her hands."

"TBF". Good lord. I couldn't make this shit up.

As for anyone here who thinks it's ok to "step out" (or any other BS soft-padded euphemism for being a deadbeat dad) because your wife had the audacity to age 20 years over the space of 20 years then kindly pack your shit and move to Africa where you belong. You don't belong among civilized people, no matter how much your suit costs or how much you have in your bank account.

Thanks John Paul the 7th, but I don't need the speech. I don't trust women even though I really do love and enjoy them, but that's my problem sir.

[Leonard D Neubache]

You wife and kid are the ones with the problem.

[quaker13]

(12-01-2018 11:31 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(12-01-2018 10:37 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

(12-01-2018 06:54 PM)EndsExpect Wrote:  

(12-01-2018 03:10 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

I have not, but it sounds like this weekend might be the perfect weekend for it. I have demanded she change or im leaving

I've asked her to change and then she says she needs a bunch of cryptic nonsensical things from me in order to be submissive, so basically bullshit

What Exactly did she say?

Here is the thing... female speak typically needs to be plugged into google translate, but with some effort it can be deciphered.

On the other hand... if you just have the itch to be free and this is just an excuse. Just take that step and be free. Just do one thing for all the men out there getting boned in divorces... go for some fucking alimony or child support or something.

I'll give you an exact quote 1 "spend so much time with me i ask you to go out with your friends"
2 she wants me to clean and straighten up more, i do the vast majority of that anyway
she wants me to be more active in the overall matters of the household but won't give me the reins. 3 Bitch this is not about to be a manager subordinate task. Either you give me all the reins or do it your fucking self

1 Im not understanding. Is she telling you to spend more time with your friends and less with her?


2 You guys make enough money that you should have domestic help. How many hours a week does she work? You?

3 She shouldnt need to give you reins of a household if your the head of it.

1. Yes spend more time with her, even though she makes no effort to spend time with me in my spaces of the house. Also, Im gone from home on the weekend max 1 night a month.

2. we have help once a week and i do the rest, but i guess it's not done in a fast enough fashion for her despite caretaking our child afterworking an 8 hour day in sometimes an hour or two at night after the kid goes to bed.

3. Im the guy that enthusiastically goes downstairs if there is a noise. I'm the guy who is the skilled boxer and man who has bedded an unnecessary amount of women and im the guy that despite how fucking cold she is on a particular day always tries to lead by example via being sweet to her, pleasant and affectionate. Like I said, I love her and don't hate her. We get along great when she's not being a bitch. I just can't go through another 40 years of this knowing there are more compliant wonen even if they are only compliant for 2-3 years

[PapayaTapper]

(12-02-2018 01:56 AM)quaker13 Wrote:  

(12-01-2018 11:31 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(12-01-2018 10:37 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

[quote] (12-01-2018 06:54 PM)EndsExpect Wrote:  

I have not, but it sounds like this weekend might be the perfect weekend for it. I have demanded she change or im leaving

I've asked her to change and then she says she needs a bunch of cryptic nonsensical things from me in order to be submissive, so basically bullshit

What Exactly did she say?

Here is the thing... female speak typically needs to be plugged into google translate, but with some effort it can be deciphered.

On the other hand... if you just have the itch to be free and this is just an excuse. Just take that step and be free. Just do one thing for all the men out there getting boned in divorces... go for some fucking alimony or child support or something.

I'll give you an exact quote 1 "spend so much time with me i ask you to go out with your friends"
2 she wants me to clean and straighten up more, i do the vast majority of that anyway
she wants me to be more active in the overall matters of the household but won't give me the reins. 3 Bitch this is not about to be a manager subordinate task. Either you give me all the reins or do it your fucking self

1 Im not understanding. Is she telling you to spend more time with your friends and less with her?


2 You guys make enough money that you should have domestic help. How many hours a week does she work? You?

3 She shouldnt need to give you reins of a household if your the head of it.

1. Yes spend more time with her, even though she makes no effort to spend time with me in my spaces of the house. Also, Im gone from home on the weekend max 1 night a month.

(12-02-2018 01:56 AM)quaker13 Wrote:  

2. we have help once a week and i do the rest, but i guess it's not done in a fast enough fashion for her despite caretaking our child afterworking an 8 hour day in sometimes an hour or two at night after the kid goes to bed.

Like I said in an earlier post. You've ceded your masculine power position. Im certain its because she makes more money than you.


If you were top of the dominance hierarchy you wouldn't be any housework. She would no more think of you cleaning or vacuuming than you would if Donald Trump came to your house and stayed

You work 8 hrs a day but she works 10 -12 doesnt she? (Be honest...Im on your side and looking to help you formulate a solution...but I need facts)

(12-02-2018 01:56 AM)quaker13 Wrote:  

3. Im the guy that enthusiastically goes downstairs if there is a noise. I'm the guy who is the skilled boxer and man who has bedded an unnecessary amount of women and im the guy that despite how fucking cold she is on a particular day always tries to lead by example via being sweet to her, pleasant and affectionate. Like I said, I love her and don't hate her. We get along great when she's not being a bitch. I just can't go through another 40 years of this knowing there are more compliant wonen even if they are only compliant for 2-3 years

Nope. This is blue pill conditioning. She doesn't need you to be "pleasant and affectionate". She needs you to be "bigger" "higher" "above" "stronger" than her. She cant relax and be a true woman without the comfort of knowing that a stronger (than her) man is there to relieve her of the unnatural need to the head of the household.

Youre confirming my earlier post about the transfer power. You want to fix this? You have work to do

[Dantes]

Papaya is finally someone who gets it.

The OP being the peacekeeper and fulfilling the domestic responsibilities earnestly while admirable in human terms, is not what she needs. She needs to feel masculine superiority and that the OP is going to take care of her-across the spectrum-physically, emotionally and financially.

The dynamic of the relationship is fundamentally flawed. Despite his 150K salary, she is the clear bread winner and superior in terms of economic hierarchy. All women crave a men who is superior and will provide an elevation in lifestyle and social standing. Like most things in life, it is all relative. The OP would most likely be that for many middle class women. However, he does not fit the bill for his wife in that respect.

This is the reason most high earning, successful women are so miserable in their private lives. There just aren't enough available men who are in superior positions and can make them feel safe and subordinate. She may not be into the submissive sex because it is counter to the fundamental power balance outside the bedroom.

The OP may look the part (Tall, Handsome, Educated), but his wife knows that she does not feel subordinate to masculine power.

[N°6]

If the coldness after your business trip is out of character, it would sound like she’s already monkeybranched and affection with her husband would be a betrayal of the latest One™.

[Leonard D Neubache]

(12-01-2018 02:34 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

been with married to her 5 years and with her a total of 8. have one child whom i love like no person or thing i've loved before
...

OP is a larper or a liar.

You couldn't drag me away from my kids with wild horses. Police would have to be called, and not an insubstantial number of them.

I'm starting to think he's a troll. Makes 150k and his wife makes a half a mil but he can't grapple with basic punctuation? Still washing his own dishes? Righto.

Wife is half way to being a CEO but she's definitely not smart enough to know he's cheating.

After a couple of pages does this shit sound credible?

Post an ATM receipt with the particulars scrubbed and RVF written on it. Regardless, troll or not, guys like PPT always manage to turn even larper threads into teachable moments.

p.s. Women earning more than a man is not a game-breaker. Women have been functionally slaves since the dawn of time. Plenty of jobless deadbeats have millionaire bitches dropping car keys in their lap and saying "thankyou" for the privilege. It only goes to shit when you adopt the mindset of the house-ho.

[quaker13]

(12-02-2018 02:16 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(12-02-2018 01:56 AM)quaker13 Wrote:  

(12-01-2018 11:31 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(12-01-2018 10:37 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

[quote] (12-01-2018 06:54 PM)EndsExpect Wrote:  

I have not, but it sounds like this weekend might be the perfect weekend for it. I have demanded she change or im leaving

I've asked her to change and then she says she needs a bunch of cryptic nonsensical things from me in order to be submissive, so basically bullshit

What Exactly did she say?

Here is the thing... female speak typically needs to be plugged into google translate, but with some effort it can be deciphered.

On the other hand... if you just have the itch to be free and this is just an excuse. Just take that step and be free. Just do one thing for all the men out there getting boned in divorces... go for some fucking alimony or child support or something.

I'll give you an exact quote 1 "spend so much time with me i ask you to go out with your friends"
2 she wants me to clean and straighten up more, i do the vast majority of that anyway
she wants me to be more active in the overall matters of the household but won't give me the reins. 3 Bitch this is not about to be a manager subordinate task. Either you give me all the reins or do it your fucking self

1 Im not understanding. Is she telling you to spend more time with your friends and less with her?


2 You guys make enough money that you should have domestic help. How many hours a week does she work? You?

3 She shouldnt need to give you reins of a household if your the head of it.

1. Yes spend more time with her, even though she makes no effort to spend time with me in my spaces of the house. Also, Im gone from home on the weekend max 1 night a month.

(12-02-2018 01:56 AM)quaker13 Wrote:  

2. we have help once a week and i do the rest, but i guess it's not done in a fast enough fashion for her despite caretaking our child afterworking an 8 hour day in sometimes an hour or two at night after the kid goes to bed.

Like I said in an earlier post. You've ceded your masculine power position. Im certain its because she makes more money than you.


If you were top of the dominance hierarchy you wouldn't be any housework. She would no more think of you cleaning or vacuuming than you would if Donald Trump came to your house and stayed

You work 8 hrs a day but she works 10 -12 doesnt she? (Be honest...Im on your side and looking to help you formulate a solution...but I need facts)

(12-02-2018 01:56 AM)quaker13 Wrote:  

3. Im the guy that enthusiastically goes downstairs if there is a noise. I'm the guy who is the skilled boxer and man who has bedded an unnecessary amount of women and im the guy that despite how fucking cold she is on a particular day always tries to lead by example via being sweet to her, pleasant and affectionate. Like I said, I love her and don't hate her. We get along great when she's not being a bitch. I just can't go through another 40 years of this knowing there are more compliant wonen even if they are only compliant for 2-3 years

Nope. This is blue pill conditioning. She doesn't need you to be "pleasant and affectionate". She needs you to be "bigger" "higher" "above" "stronger" than her. She cant relax and be a true woman without the comfort of knowing that a stronger (than her) man is there to relieve her of the unnatural need to the head of the household.

Youre confirming my earlier post about the transfer power. You want to fix this? You have work to do

Yes she absolutely works more than me. No way I can deny. In fact, I've offered to take a part time job and she's suggested I not bother with it.

[quaker13]

(12-02-2018 04:38 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  

(12-01-2018 02:34 PM)quaker13 Wrote:  

been with married to her 5 years and with her a total of 8. have one child whom i love like no person or thing i've loved before
...

OP is a larper or a liar.

You couldn't drag me away from my kids with wild horses. Police would have to be called, and not an insubstantial number of them.

I'm starting to think he's a troll. Makes 150k and his wife makes a half a mil but he can't grapple with basic punctuation? Still washing his own dishes? Righto.

Wife is half way to being a CEO but she's definitely not smart enough to know he's cheating.

After a couple of pages does this shit sound credible?

Post an ATM receipt with the particulars scrubbed and RVF written on it. Regardless, troll or not, guys like PPT always manage to turn even larper threads into teachable moments.

p.s. Women earning more than a man is not a game-breaker. Women have been functionally slaves since the dawn of time. Plenty of jobless deadbeats have millionaire bitches dropping car keys in their lap and saying "thankyou" for the privilege. It only goes to shit when you adopt the mindset of the house-ho.

Dude I get it, you don’t like me. I’m sure others fall in place when the 3rd Reich grammar Nazi makes an appearance, but I couldn't care less. I'm not gonna insult you because it wouldn't prove anything, but clearly we have a difference of opinion my righteous sanctimonious friend.

If I post an ATM receipt what is that going to do for you? Are you going to want me to post savings or checking? Would a redacted pdf of our quarterly taxes be sufficient? What about if I posted my watches or would you just say they are replicas?

[eradicator]

Wait so this is another elaborate sleeper troll who as been posting for about a year to set up a long (probably fake) story about having a wife and a child, where OP is constantly banging other women, but your wife has no knowledge of it, but is 40 years old and still attractive but mostly cold.

What's the point of concocting such a scenario? Anonymous Bosh would probably have an answer, but whatever. There is still plenty of good advice from pappaya and doc that this isn't a total waste of time, but I'm mostly puzzled by the whole elaborate sleeper troll. What does he possibly win by doing this?

edit
I strongly encourage people to stop posting in this thread and offering "help" unless he really can produce a bank statement proving he is the high roller that he is pretending to be. OP can totally block out the account numbers and whatnot, but otherwise this is all highly suspect. you don't have to post it publicly but send it to a private message to leonard

[RawGod]

What kind of jobs make 500k? Partner at a major law firm? Surgeon? I'm not getting the sense of elite social class power couple from the OP. What with the "washing the dishes" "get a part time job" references. I agree, seems like a troll.

[quaker13]

(12-02-2018 10:35 AM)RawGod Wrote:  

What kind of jobs make 500k? Partner at a major law firm? Surgeon? I'm not getting the sense of elite social class power couple from the OP. What with the "washing the dishes" "get a part time job" references. I agree, seems like a troll.

She is in management at an MBB consulting firm.