[a beer is enough]

I've been going out a bit more in recent weeks, partly due to looking for a job for the weekends (tough sledding there!), and I have actually noticed something that kind of came to my mind when I first started going out. It seems like a lot of us are more than okay with going out alone but I have noticed somewhat of a trend with most hot girls after going out.

In some cases they go out with their female friends but in others, I see a big enough social crowd that has a few guys in it and a fair number of hot girls. Like any other guy who observes this, the question that comes to my mind is what are the guys in those circles doing in order to get that sort of quality. What kinds of activities or things are the guys who seem to have the quality friends and the ones a fair number of good looking women are flocking to are doing with their lives.

The closest I have been to experiencing this is when I was roommates in NYC with a couple of guys who were in a fraternity in college and met up with some of their old crew, many of them sorority girls. It seems like one answer is that a lot of these guys knew these girls growing up or in their college days.

My other thought is that these guys get lucky enough to LTR a hot girl and she just happens to have a lot of hot friends.

[Tiger Man]

(09-22-2018 07:39 PM)a beer is enough Wrote:  

I've been going out a bit more in recent weeks, partly due to looking for a job for the weekends (tough sledding there!), and I have actually noticed something that kind of came to my mind when I first started going out. It seems like a lot of us are more than okay with going out alone but I have noticed somewhat of a trend with most hot girls after going out.

In some cases they go out with their female friends but in others, I see a big enough social crowd that has a few guys in it and a fair number of hot girls. Like any other guy who observes this, the question that comes to my mind is what are the guys in those circles doing in order to get that sort of quality. What kinds of activities or things are the guys who seem to have the quality friends and the ones a fair number of good looking women are flocking to are doing with their lives.

The closest I have been to experiencing this is when I was roommates in NYC with a couple of guys who were in a fraternity in college and met up with some of their old crew, many of them sorority girls. It seems like one answer is that a lot of these guys knew these girls growing up or in their college days.

My other thought is that these guys get lucky enough to LTR a hot girl and she just happens to have a lot of hot friends.

I can second the observation about the pre-existing social groups. I have seen a lot of that, I am in a few of those groups myself. As far as the hot girlfriends, hot girls do, often, have hot friends.

Through friends, and a bit through my current gig, I have had the oppurtunity to interact with a lot of people in sales. I think there may be a work-based social circle angle to this as well. I have a friend who works in a division of Diageo. All of the lower-end sales reps are either smooth talking sales guys or hot women. At the end of a sale's quarter, they will all go out and hit up bars in the city. And, it is, as you described, a few guys in suits and a pack of hot girls.

I have seen the same thing in hospitality sales groups. The guys are often put together and competitive. But, there are increasingly more women in these offices than men.

I also have reason to believe that competitive groups like high-market sales are less concerned with "HR stuff", so there is probably a lot of interoffice banging going on. What I can't figure out is how you can enter one of these social circles without actually joining the company. I have been out with them a number of times, but they seem fairly tight.

[Flux]

Hang out with good looking dudes that are social, they always have girl orbiters, and those girls bring friends. Social circle game is all about hanging out with the right kind of people.

If you’re young, it’s the best play by far.

[a beer is enough]

(09-22-2018 10:45 PM)Tiger Man Wrote:  

(09-22-2018 07:39 PM)a beer is enough Wrote:  

I've been going out a bit more in recent weeks, partly due to looking for a job for the weekends (tough sledding there!), and I have actually noticed something that kind of came to my mind when I first started going out. It seems like a lot of us are more than okay with going out alone but I have noticed somewhat of a trend with most hot girls after going out.

In some cases they go out with their female friends but in others, I see a big enough social crowd that has a few guys in it and a fair number of hot girls. Like any other guy who observes this, the question that comes to my mind is what are the guys in those circles doing in order to get that sort of quality. What kinds of activities or things are the guys who seem to have the quality friends and the ones a fair number of good looking women are flocking to are doing with their lives.

The closest I have been to experiencing this is when I was roommates in NYC with a couple of guys who were in a fraternity in college and met up with some of their old crew, many of them sorority girls. It seems like one answer is that a lot of these guys knew these girls growing up or in their college days.

My other thought is that these guys get lucky enough to LTR a hot girl and she just happens to have a lot of hot friends.

I can second the observation about the pre-existing social groups. I have seen a lot of that, I am in a few of those groups myself. As far as the hot girlfriends, hot girls do, often, have hot friends.

Through friends, and a bit through my current gig, I have had the oppurtunity to interact with a lot of people in sales. I think there may be a work-based social circle angle to this as well. I have a friend who works in a division of Diageo. All of the lower-end sales reps are either smooth talking sales guys or hot women. At the end of a sale's quarter, they will all go out and hit up bars in the city. And, it is, as you described, a few guys in suits and a pack of hot girls.

I have seen the same thing in hospitality sales groups. The guys are often put together and competitive. But, there are increasingly more women in these offices than men.

I also have reason to believe that competitive groups like high-market sales are less concerned with "HR stuff", so there is probably a lot of interoffice banging going on. What I can't figure out is how you can enter one of these social circles without actually joining the company. I have been out with them a number of times, but they seem fairly tight.

Pretty much the issue I have had but nice catch.

It seems like you can have all the social skills and everything there is but unless you are in a situation where you are interacting with these people frequently, you won't be a part of the clique.

This was my big issue back in college to where I was acquaintances with a few fraternity guys and we would high five each other when we met on campus but as soon as party time came, I was not invited to any of those. It was very much a situation of if you are not a part of the crew, you're not reaping much of the benefits.

That's the challenge too, especially for those of us who work decent paying jobs that pay well but aren't exactly surrounded by hot girls or cool guys. This is part of the reason why I am stretching to get that bar job on the side but it's been tough sledding there, they don't usually hire as much later on in September as they do earlier.

It just always puzzled me how you can see a lot of hot girls out at a bar and a select number of them are with a smaller group of guys, just what that group has going for them, hell it be a great way to have eye opening stories and experiences about the game.

[UUU]

Hit up an exercise class and just be social over there. There are girls and guys who are regulars at my crossfit gym -- they go there 3x a week and spend a lot of time just hanging out. It'll take time to get to know the people there better, but there should be a lot of women who you can meet there. I wouldn't recommend banging them, but you could go out with them, meet their friends, and take it from there.

Honestly, building a good social circle takes time -- you need to be a regular at a couple of spots over a period of several months to really make it work for you.

[Kid Twist]

I'm looking to optimize this as well, because in the world of internet and social media, as well as metoo bs, you need to build friends-circles-trust. I'm also weighing the type of people you are selecting for by going to nice places with suit game, for example. Are you selecting for too materialistic generally? I guess you could say that you're in the USA, so it's a given, so don't overthink it because you wouldn't know either way. It seems the sweet spot mid 20s grad student crowd might be the best, if you can find these groups, since they aren't the increasingly demanding girls approaching 30 or already there yet.

[Dalaran1991]

I don’t understand the premise of this thread.

Suppose that social circles with a steady supply of hot girls exist, why would anybody from this inner circle invites you in? What values do you provide?

Say I’m Dan Bilzerian and I constantly host parties with hot chicks. I don’t know you. Why should I invite you in and eat free from my plates?

For the kind of inner circles you are talking about, it’s not enough to be cool and good looking. You need to have both and provide some unique value that they can’t already find among their members, which is extremely difficult.

Anybody who is social enough to host parties and/or get invited to parties have this horror story of new guys trying to break in just to have a lick at the pussy, and end up ruining the party or scaring the girls.

Shit I got that happened at my usual cocktail party, with a fellow RVFer no less. Since then I’ve become extremely careful with whom I invite to my parties.

At my aikido club I manage the hangout parties together with some few alphas. We have a steady supply of girls but for every girl that we invite there’s 2-3 thirsty dudes who keep asking “so chief when are we coming to your party”. I just shrug and mentally cross them off the list. It’s hard enough to balance the invite list with the good, solid friends I already know.

[456]

@D - I love when people invoke the "see the other side of the table" on stuff... if you don't know who the "value trap" in the room is, it's probably you!

Sometimes a beer is not enough...

-

@Beer, so many of your threads are on the same mono-focus of essentially hacking this "lifestyle" and "social" thing, in this way that feels very "One Magic Way".

Things happen incrementally, you do stuff, it opens more doors, you choose new doors to open, and the doors at Step 2 are not what you thought they'd be, when you were pre-Step 1.

You are seeing the end result of all these scenes' incremental development, in this final state that entices you, and you want to just Have That™...

The "That" comes from living each day, treating each interaction, each friend, each party, in a natural way consistent with the "values" of the end picture you want.

The "That" does not come from obsessing endlessly about the trappings or, or end manifestation of, someone else's version of "That". It's a poisonous way of thinking, it will become its own stench of desperation.

-

Do you really think the people in this group were thinking This Specifically about "how do I compose a social group with just the right amount of X and Y while avoiding A and B, and then appear at all the venues that people without this kind of group come to just to be near us..."

They just "Be Fun" and do them, and sure they target other attractive people, but it's a lot less mind-wanking than you've been doing in this and myriad other threads.

-

Not trying to hate -- sounds like you are taking action looking for weekend side-work in a social setting (and not derailing your career) -- but maybe you have a little bit of an obsessive mind and if I were you I would instead obsess about being as Genuine and Fun and In The Moment as possible with everyone you come across. Stop academizing this man!

Think of it this way: your conscious mind thought of almost all the angles now. So it's time to RELAX consciously, and let your subconscious and gut guide you and do the work.

A few years of that, and I would not be surprised to see you update this thread later on with some insane results...

[DVY]

provide
-drugs
- comped access to events
- paid access to top-tier events
- after-party house
- pay for the girls
- girls who love other girls

[Comte De St. Germain]

Prove your worth or stop trying. No one wants a freeloader.


It's like making good friends with people that matter. Provide value.

[kaotic]

OP and this topic are becoming obsessively synonymous.

There is no silver bullet, there is no magic pill, there is no entitlement.

Social circles are built over time and with grinding.

They are a high trust high vetted society and unless you're of high value and bring something to the table to begin with, then you'd had to of started at the bottom with them.

Secret society also comes into play, especially with hot girls.

Your best case scenario is being friends with a high status guy and tagging along with him or building your own social circle.

Either way, it's not easy, everyone's version is different from the others.

[darlten]

Models and instagram models especially hang out together a lot these days, there social circles are compromised mostly of other female models. Knowing how to somehow get in good with these girls and be around them is probably the best pay off. Since you get access to them and all the girls that want to be like them. It's not like your in a professional environment with them either you're not their superior or anything so you shouldn't get Harvey weinsteined cause you're not doing anything wrong. Your more so in their social circle and this could provide great returns. Like others have said for most social circles and relationships things have to be mutually beneficial. So for example I do some web dev, marketing and basically just digital/online work so one thing I can provide to these girls among other things is showing them how to grow their audience more. Considering traveling with these insta models and I'll be the only guy in that group traveling with them so it could be interesting.

[Cobra]

@beer

This is a similar thing in the Indian guy game thread from your posts except for the one time you posted success.

I would encourage you to work on your inner game.

Start an approach and fitness thread for yourself and you can post all of the inane and success related stuff in there. Instead, why have new threads on topics that have been discussed to death in past years? If you're doing that, please post in the Newbie thread.

I thought you would get this a few months ago, but it's the same attitude and insecurities.

We want to help but first humble yourself brother.

Back to the thread topic anyways: I don't build social circles for game but do for business. Concept is similar but different purposes. One is to make $ and other is poon. I meet people and invite them ONCE. If they are cool, and offer value or partnerships, then they are invited again. If not they are off the distribution list forever because they add no value to me or anyone else in that group. They may even make me look bad. There are even people I would never do business with but they have such good charisma that I get value from surrounding myself with them among others.

Here's the issue: In this scenario, I offer something and I have a network which I can leverage to invite new people. How did I create this network. Lots of cold calling and individual meetings (equate that to cold approaches or making friends on the regular if you want). I don't always pay for the drinks. I'm there to get people together to events that have a specific theme within the industry.

Be the guy that introduces high value people to other high value people. That's my point. That in itself is value.

[jordypip23]

(09-24-2018 04:33 PM)Cobra Wrote:  

@beer

This is a similar thing in the Indian guy game thread from your posts except for the one time you posted success.

I would encourage you to work on your inner game.

Start an approach and fitness thread for yourself and you can post all of the inane and success related stuff in there. Instead, why have new threads on topics that have been discussed to death in past years? If you're doing that, please post in the Newbie thread.

I thought you would get this a few months ago, but it's the same attitude and insecurities.

We want to help but first humble yourself brother.

Back to the thread topic anyways: I don't build social circles for game but do for business. Concept is similar but different purposes. One is to make $ and other is poon. I meet people and invite them ONCE. If they are cool, and offer value or partnerships, then they are invited again. If not they are off the distribution list forever because they add no value to me or anyone else in that group. They may even make me look bad. There are even people I would never do business with but they have such good charisma that I get value from surrounding myself with them among others.

Here's the issue: In this scenario, I offer something and I have a network which I can leverage to invite new people. How did I create this network. Lots of cold calling and individual meetings (equate that to cold approaches or making friends on the regular if you want). I don't always pay for the drinks. I'm there to get people together to events that have a specific theme within the industry.

Be the guy that introduces high value people to other high value people. That's my point. That in itself is value.

Great post. Often times business & game are virtually synonymous. The skill set required for both realms has great crossover potential all the time.

[Dalaran1991]

Joking aside, I think in Comte's data sheet he did mention social circle is a shit ton of work and if you are in it just for the girls then you will end up frustrated. That's why it's important to set up a social circle based around something you love doing, that way the "wasted" effort would be spent doing something you like anyway.

And, almost as if it's magic, when you are enjoying yourself the girls just come naturally, but when you are trying everybody can smell that and for both girls and guys nothing is worse than the social death sentence "oh he's just here to try to pick up girl".

Also the added drama of navigating who is sleeping with whom start to really get on my nerve after a while. Now I keep a low profile and most of the time if I do it it's to go see my homies. You win and lose friends at a staggering rate in this kind of thing but if you manage to stick it out you got some friends for life.

The last girl I bang from my social circle is the dirtiest slut I've ever met, and this coming from a guy with a penchant for crazy girls. Yet she has the most cutem innocent baby face in the world and everybody was thinking she was a virgin angel. Needless to say the fallout from it was catastrophic when people realize you are banging the "little virgin" and that she is not really the virgin everyone thought she was. Best part is that shit like this happens every 6 months or so. What efforts did I put into this? 4 years of constant training, inviting people out almost every week, hosting several parties and fishing the other alphas out of a lot of sticky situations. The ROI was terrible girl-wise but without that experience I'd never be the man I am today.

And this is just a mundane everyday social circle. I can't even imagine what the game is like in the higher leagues.

[Distant Light]

Social circle easiest shit to break-in....

Cool guy...Can meet women...Women in general love you...

Some of my connector friends are the provider of girls for celebs.

People think it is TOUGH because their only mode is "try to fuck".... Go be a guy making his life experience memorable and having a blast.

[Hypno]

Focus on providing value to others, and value will flow to you.

Tucker Max in his book Game said that he was drowing in pussy after volunteering at the animal shelter.

Think expansively and you have better ideas or locate better circles. But think about giving value first. Unexpected rewards will flow to you. It has nothing to do with the universe or karma or anything like that. Its when you change your mindset you see different things.

[a beer is enough]

Distant Light commented on my thread, I can die a happy man.

Lots of criticism but I notice a lot of it came from a good place too, I see that, thank you guys.

Guess it is a grass is greener on the other side type of mindset but it does seem like when I go out, there always seem to be this sort of a crowd of a couple guys and hot girls who are there with them. Obviously it is normal for a guy to want to know what is going on there because secretly we'd all love to be that guy. A part of me cannot help but think that a lot of those guys had some sort of an agenda on their mind but its almost like through DHV and social proof, they have that elevated status.

I wanted to know more about the kind of lifestyle investments these guys are making until I read 456's post on being too academic, yet I feel if there is no direction or target audience, you're kind of just floating around and making friends that will steal value as Dalaran said.

If this thread hasn't run its course already, I'd been in for more experiences and information, glad of the dudes in here who have posted and shared their experiences.

But as the saying goes, if it was easy everyone would be doing it. I remember reading a Robert Greene book saying the worst thing you can do is follow everything down to steps, to some degree you have to be fluid and think on your own after having enough info. That is one thing I am definitely working on as someone taking all of this in very recently.

[KiwiTheGermanShepherd]

I think what you are referring to here is building a social tribe. To build your own tribe is tough, it is something that I am trying to do myself. I've learned from pick up that if you kino escalate and have sex with the girl too quickly they will never come back for repeat business because of the anti slut defense, instead we should be friendzoning hot girls, adding value to their lives, and focusing on building long term relationships with people that have similar interests to you.

[DonnyGately]

Why would you friendzone a hot girl? How do you know what 'too quickly' is for her - I'm assuming you're not getting her drunk and pressuring her into sex. If she's putting up a lot of LMR then yeah, if you want her to stick around, you need to focus on the process and not the result.

[Comte De St. Germain]

(09-25-2018 09:04 PM)DonnyGately Wrote:  

Why would you friendzone a hot girl? How do you know what 'too quickly' is for her - I'm assuming you're not getting her drunk and pressuring her into sex. If she's putting up a lot of LMR then yeah, if you want her to stick around, you need to focus on the process and not the result.

[Jetset]

(09-24-2018 07:32 PM)Hypno Wrote:  

Focus on providing value to others, and value will flow to you.

Tucker Max in his book Game said that he was drowing in pussy after volunteering at the animal shelter.

Think expansively and you have better ideas or locate better circles. But think about giving value first. Unexpected rewards will flow to you. It has nothing to do with the universe or karma or anything like that. Its when you change your mindset you see different things.

Volunteering and other charity events are gold, as long as you don't let it start to look like you don't have anything better to do. Botanical gardens, galas, art walks, etc.

If you have a nice place to live and a channel to network with a political candidate and offering to host a meeting for his campaign. I worked on a congressional campaign once and had married voters, their daughters, donors' wives, everybody coming on to me. It was ridiculous.

[chicane]

(09-27-2018 11:23 AM)Jetset Wrote:  

Volunteering and other charity events are gold, as long as you don't let it start to look like you don't have anything better to do. Botanical gardens, galas, art walks, etc.

If you have a nice place to live and a channel to network with a political candidate and offering to host a meeting for his campaign. I worked on a congressional campaign once and had married voters, their daughters, donors' wives, everybody coming on to me. It was ridiculous.

No, they aren't. They are full of feminists, soyboys, SJWs, self hating white people, LGBTQP freaks and a lot of other people who despise straight white males, particularly those of us who are unapologetic about it. 35 years ago it was great. 15 years ago it was tolerable. Today it is a fucking nightmare.

[Jetset]

(09-27-2018 11:41 AM)chicane Wrote:  

No, they aren't. They are full of feminists, soyboys, SJWs, self hating white people, LGBTQP freaks and a lot of other people who despise straight white males, particularly those of us who are unapologetic about it. 35 years ago it was great. 15 years ago it was tolerable. Today it is a fucking nightmare.

I disagree. Those types of activist circles certainly exist, but pick and choose your neighborhood and venue for social status and ideology. You're not going to tend to encounter a bunch of heavy-set blue hairs obsessing over a living wage for transgendered people of color in most of Charleston or Scottsdale. Choose high-value events to meet high-value people.

As for soyboys, the "fat girl" effect is in full swing in those situations.

[pk9090]

Gonna give my input in this.

Recently after about 1 year and a half to 2 years of building my social circle out of old friends, mostly on my own, inviting people and doing things, Im skeptical of the value of the said circle, specially if your plan is to get LTR's.

Most of the people had girlfriends in the beginning, than they breakup, now I think they are getting gf's again. Most of the girl meeting that happened in the circle has been some of my guy friends inviting girls they want to fuck and joining the group as a matter of social proof.

Honestly it feels like a drag. Will be away for a while in several different countries so will have to have a different approach to getting laid, mostly hostel games and gaming tourists.

EDIT: Btw, the best place for activities with a group is karaoke, but be careful, most guys prepare themselves really hard for this type of stuff.