Social circles that have a lot of good looking women discussion.
09-30-2018, 07:32 PM
These are some valuable posts by members, OP. After reading them, do take action.
For someone who is facing even more complex problems than you when it comes to social value and social circle, I can tell, as others have already mentioned that the most important thing is- 'what value do you bring'.
Positive Social value = Increase in sexual Market value.
Any person or group will want to accommodate you only if you fulfill or add something extra to their lives. Otherwise why should they? if people are taking in someone without considering what value the person brings, then, that group is either also of no value (typically these are male loser groups such as Incels) or that group is full of people starting afresh (such as First Year college groups).
Secondly, reputation is key. Lose it and no amount of you being interesting will help you. You'll have to bring exceptional, rock star level of value then to even change group's opinion about you and allow you in.
I will give you my example. I started at an Elite MBA School last year. Before joining the program, I had decided that I will dominate social groups and be a straight up popular guy. I had all the tools. Good sales and networking skills due to my previous work, excellent communication skills, knowing how to chill out and party, great at crossing cultural barriers, knowing how to manage people and inner politics and having a positive vibe above all.
Also, I had done tons of things which makes me somewhat interesting: High altitude mountaineering (above 20000ft summit), worked in tough and competitive industry, played soccer semi pro and good at other sports, good at fitness and can train people, 99th percentile GMAT score and have been hired by a top exam prep company to instruct students, can give girl,game and red-pill advice ( lot of it learned from this forum), diploma in Method acting and done community theater, youngest President of a premier public speaking club and, therefore, can assist people on becoming great speakers and presenters and lastly, have traveled decently.
The above would at least allow me to add value to some people or a group and become part of them. That is what I thought when I started my MBA. However, I was not able to, because I lost reputation which I describe next.
I started the program strong. Mingled with fellow students and I stood out. But soon I started falling behind because of heavy course load and internship recruiting.I was not able to properly manage both. Also,I got the worst team possible for my First year. We were a group of 5 and I was totally different than the rest 4. I told myself I had handled tougher people before and these were just late 20s,weak, millennial SJWs. But turns out they were high conscientious and Intelligent SJWs. I was unable to match their pace in contributing towards team assignments. Other personal stuff such as separation from my wife was also going on. In order to make right and contribute positively, I become desperate and copied answers from an external source. I got found out by someone in the team and got a plagiarism complain against me. Slowly I become more introverted and closed off in order to cope up with all things I faced in the university. I also spent a lot of time trying to improve game and game women as I wanted to get rid of the anger and depression of my separation from my wife. The result was that I failed at recruiting, barely maintained a decent GPA that was required for my scholarship, had terrible relations with the team and my overall reputation in the program took a hit. No one said it to my face but people in the program started keeping a distance. They were not warm and friendly but just formal to me. I tried to be more positive to them, complimenting them and even try to help them in academics or networking but they either ignored or refused. Soon after the first semester cliques and social groups formed. I was not part of any one of them, except one which I made with the real close friends, who also understood redpill concepts, liked game and got along with me. But these are very few friends. Rest all act as acquaintances. No one said it but I could feel people treat me indifferently for being a low performer and one without an internship. In the second semester in some classes the teams changed. Even then, no one asked me to be part of their team. I had to actively ask and almost force myself in. A trip to Brazil happened in the summer. 60 of us went. The cold distance was so bad that people did not even sit with me in the plane or bus, let alone inviting me to the fun places that they were visiting. I still acted positive. I often asked people, with warmth and friendliness how their trip was going. I even bought people drinks. For example we went to watch a soccer game. I went and got a 24 pack for our bus journey. Lot of people drank with me and were friendly but same people once back and sober, again became distant.
Since, I did not have the big social group, I just gamed either as a lone wolf outside the University circle or with the few friends who I have in the program. However, if I was popular and had value in the MBA social circle then , gaming would have been easier. People notice all the time, especially girls. Even if the MBA girls were older and most already committed, other girls including the undergrads would notice, seeing me as a person always hanging around in groups comprising of the elite types such as Investment bankers and consultants and having lots of such friends. This would increase my sexual market value in their eyes, giving me social proof. Then the approach and gaming the University girls would be tons more easier. Also, these kind of high brow social groups introduce friends of friends to each other all the time including single girls. That kind of game would also become possible.
Even though most of these people are pretentious, selfish, elitist, mostly liberal and blue pill, I needed them. For the social value, for the program and for the future in terms of career. My wish of vibing well with them and becoming part of their in group never materialized and was an utter failure let alone socially dominating them. They literally think I provide no value or bring negative value. So they do not try to become close to me.
I am in my second year now, trying to improve my GPA and deciding what I really need to do career wise with my MBA. I have improved academic wise but the social game is already lost with these people. Unless I get a high profile job or do something seriously wonderful for a group of them or display a level of competence in MBA that is above their level, my social situation will not improve.
In fact I get a lot of positive social vibe with students who are First years or in the professional/executive program. I am also a team coach to the first years. The reason being these students start to know me through me. They do not know my reputation and observe that I am providing a lot of value. But as soon as these students get to know me more through others in my class, the gained social capita starts diminishing.
So when you see couple of guys having a good social group of hot girls around them, then consider how they got it. They might be gameless betas but they bring value that is considered good socially. For example, almost all of the IB and consultant guys in my program do not have game, but their status makes people gravitate towards them, including girls. Two absolute gameless schmucks in my year have already had more than one MBA girl become their gf. So when they have their parties or go out, guess what, these MBA girls bring their friends who are usually well educated 7s and 8s . Other single gameless guys in the group, then, get access to these girls, who are mostly are willing to date or fuck. Where as I, who has considerably much better game than them, has to struggle hard and contend with ratchet 5s and 6s from outside the University circle.
All in all, I only blame myself for not playing the social game properly and not being competent enough to be part of these circles.
I am doing a course called Power and Influence in Organizations in my program and so far it has been helpful. I work with the professor during non class hours to improve myself in terms of gaining social capita and on how to become socially dominant.
As someone already said, Power is earned not given. My belief is that Power is either attained or you got to take it. No one gives it to you. (Jack Nicholson's character from 'The Departed' says it in the opening).
I also like the environment to be the product of me NOT vice versa (again taken fro The Departed). I like to be socially dominant or have power to shape the people around me in terms of redpill values. The close freind's of mine know this and do get somewhat influenced. However, this mindset comes with a flaw: One would always rebel with the status quo internally or externally. Even though I tried to play a socially non political game and suppressed my political thoughts, I did not like towing the line to bluepill thoughts within the university. People are usually afraid of red pill thoughts and behaviors. Unless one attains a significant amount of strong friends or social groups, then only one can start influencing people with their own values.
If you want to truly become a good social catch, then not only you have to be interesting but also you have to bring added value that matches with your targeted social group, without any negative reputation. And the value would need to not be a one time thing but a sustainable one. For example, you have a job that matches or is even in higher level than your target group and one that the group would like to know more about for networking, then you would be able to break in the group, provided you also match the ideologies of the group and can culturally acclimatize with the group.
Dale Carnegie's book-'How to win friends and influence people'- is very helpful.
So is Jeffrey Pfeffer's-'Power'.
Lastly, read Noccolo Machiavelli's- 'The Prince'.
In real life start identifying the groups which you can gel with. In most cases the kind of group you want would not have the same values as you. So in that case you would need to suppress your ideologies, adapt, fake being positive with their values and try to mingle. Start with approaching one member of the group at a time and see how you can help her or him out and with what. Genuinely try to do this with all the members and if you are able to succeed then notice how you get gratitude from them. Try earning big gratitude from each but remain humble. Just keep trying to help and earn return thanks. If you are not getting a return thanks then either you are helping when not needed or being used. Never allow that. Do this with a balance of being cold, calculating as well as genuinely nice. Once someone from the group instead of saying thank wants to also help you genuinely, then take advantage to become close to this person. Identify this person's strengths and weaknesses in the group. Leverage him or her for your entry and power position in the group.
If you can, also make your social media presence strong, starting with Instagram and Facebook. You will need to do lots of pics of you doing cool shit, pics of you with tons of people who also seem socially cool whether its business conferences, parties, traveling together and pics with lots of girls in different settings. Your followers and friend list should be high and include a lot of girls (more than 60%). When you have this kind of clout then, what happens is that the social media will speak on your behalf even if you cannot demonstrate direct value to a group. This is challenging and you will need a lot of time, resources and money. If you do then I would highly advise you to do it.
Take action and update on how it goes.
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