[understandbpd]

Over the last 10 years I was with over 25 girls in Eastern Europe,
all of them being usually in the between HB 6 - 8 range, their age being being
usually early 20s,
met them from mostly from nightgame, but also from daygame and social events (no dating apps).

With basically all of them, the vicious circle that repeated over and over again
was the same:

As long as I didn't care, didn't give a fuck, and they were even seeing me with
other beautiful girls as well, they treated me as the prize, they wanted to committ
to me, they were fighting for my time and my attention.

The very moment that I was showing any affection, caring towards them,
made them any smallest compliments at all (like "you look joyful",
or "you are beautiful don't worry"), they usually turned cold,
and said some same hamster-like stuff
"I have been waiting for this too long, and now it is too late"
and then ghosted me.

This hapenned no matter if we were in relationship and having sex for
few weeks, few months or few years.

How to solve this vicious circle?

How to enter a mature LTR relationship in which I can be happy,
without losing the girls at the first display of me being happy,
being warm and loving towards them?

Thank you all for your ideas

[CleanSlate]

Maybe they were never really genuinely interested in you. They were just wanting your approval or validation, and as soon as you gave it to them, they finally got what they wanted. Chalk it up to attention whoring.

[understandbpd]

That explanation is not viable because many of these girls
did put extreme amounts of time and effort to be with me.

Some of them travelled and spent a lot of money and time just
to be next to me.

Many of these girls wrote me hundreds of very long emails, spent most of the days texting me,
and also spent a lot of time making plans for a future next to me.

With about 6 of them I was in long term relationship. However me showing affection
or showing I care, resulted in them becoming cold and changing their priorities.

It worked only being cold, being busy, being away, generally not caring.

I do not know yet the right way, and that is what I am asking here,
how to settle down in a good LTR, and for her to want it and not leave if I accept it.

What should be the key steps? Thank you

[Sender]

Is it possible that the way you're expressing affection is causing you to lose frame? If it's something you don't normally do then perhaps it's coming across as incongruous to what attracted them to you in the first place.

Like if you tell your girlfriend with a confident and proprietary attitude that you 'love the way her legs look in heels' is very different from suggesting that you 'rub her tumsy-wumsy' when she's on her period. One could work, the other is horrible.

I'm exaggerating for illustration obviously but there's gonna be a variance in exactly what 'showing affection' means.

Question: Do you ever feel awkward when you show affection or compliment these girls? Coz if you feel awkward then so will they.

Also, if you want to move from a DGAF attitude to a LTR then you have to transition that in way that makes sense to the girl. Like as if you all of a sudden 'discover' that you have a 'deeper connection' with them

This sort of thing would set up your change of attitude in a consistent way.

Hopefully some of the vets will chime in too so take what I say with a pinch of salt... but if you know anything about Acting theory this is basic Stanislavski shit. And I guess at some level many of us are actors. There has to be a logic and consistency to your actions.

[griffinmill]

How hot were these girls?

People want what they can't have, particularly if you've proven yourself to have value. If you disappear or go cold, it drives them nuts.

It's the scarcity principle in human psychology.

The moment you give them what they want, you're no longer a challenge.

Being a challenge is part of the attraction.

They also get to turn the tables and go cold on you, which is validation and ego-boosting for them.

[PapayaTapper]

Then dont do it




Edit: Jokes aside. What youre looking is the balance of positive and negative stimuli (fear and desire) aka dread game. You need to master this in oder to keep an LTR running smoothly

[RatInTheWoods]

While there may be room for the OP to fine tune his LTR game, I totally get the underlying point he is making....

If you are a decent, nice human, your LTR will lose attraction for you as you revert back to your normal self within the comfort of an LTR.

It's very hard pretending to be a bastard (to keep the sex flowing) in a LTR, and its hard work pretending to be someone you aint.

[Hypno]

Rosh has a chapter on relationship game in his new book

Your observations are valid. It’s an eternal conflict. You can fine tune and improve at the contours but the core problem remains. Immersing yourself in a situation of abundance can also help. SA is an example

[Beirut]

Are your examples ment as an abbreviated example or do you actually mean they turned away at the first compliment or sentence?

If youre exhibiting clingy and needy behavior or being too "beta" over some time then itll turn them off.

I dont see how a woman in a relationship or fucking some guy for a few weeks will walk away at a few words. Theyre either IQ 60 or youre misreading the situation and causes.

[musicalprodigy1]

This seems like advanced thot game.
If you're always busy and distant, but you're hight status and financially sound, of course it's better for everyone if they're awesomely feminine when you're around. Win win, since you're gone most of the time and they can have another guy or two on the side.
Really, in 2018, most girls over 16 have more than one man. Because they can and why not? And to keep you unsuspecting, they act that way.
Advances thot game.
Guys, these slots are practicing game too, they're reading rok and roosh books, reading chateau and Rollo, and they're trying to win.

[masta]

I think most women have guys in two categories - player you sleep with and bf material. I don't think you can go from playboy to commitment guy. The player plays by different rules. He is above monogamy and women love him for it. They think its cool that he can weave in and out of flings. That's his appeal. He gives women pleasure. Once you try to commit, all attraction fizzles because you are no longer this guy. The women discover you were just putting on a player persona all along.

What you might want to do is frame yourself as a relationship guy and screen women from the very beginning. This will either shape them into trying to fit your image of an ideal GF, or weed out all thots looking for validation from the player, or both.

The problem with a frame switch is that you expose yourself as a guy who was just putting on a persona to attract women. Believe it or not, there are guys with high standards who screen and qualify women for relationships from the very beginning.

Sure, there is value in spinning a lot of plates. There is abundance in that and you come across as more attractive to women. But as long as you are self validated, you don't need any crutches (like putting on a player persona). You can qualify women for what you demand and reject them for not being good enough.

The relationship frame is different from the player frame. The player frame is "what can I do to attract women?" The guy with the relationship frame already knows he is attractive and he is looking a woman who is worth his time so his frame is more like "What is unique about her that I like?" And you act from this frame. You validate/reject her based on her relationship potential.

Coming from this frame, your love and affection looks more like a reward for her. And all rewards have value. And all women love value.

[torridon747]

I don't agree. If a girl is down to bang you she's probably down to try and secure comittment from you. I've mini-ltr'd several women from zero date lays or single date lays and it wasn't that hard. They are usually flattered that I wanted to see them again and found it pretty validating. They were equal SMV or higher and usually not from deeply entrenched lower class (lower middle to upper middle) like myself, but I know how to act. I've told them I'm sleeping with multiple women and they worked hard to get that exclusivity. Or if I suggestrd exclusivity (mistake) they acted surprised and admitted they throught I must have other girls (even when I didn't).

If you're getting put into the [boyfriend] provider category she's probably attracted enough to fuck with you but your game is weak and she's going to take advantage of you.

I could see it if you had zero status in the class she was from. Like if she was upper middle class and above and you're an attractive young drug dealer with alright game she's probably gonna keep you tucked away. But I bet if/when she catches feelings she'll try to sell you to her support network.

Player frame and relationship frame are just different ways to play the same game and I'm sure with both you can get what you want. I think player frame at least initially has more utility, though it might drive some virginal young girls off that have a father that RPd them early. Relationship frame might drive away some of those hoes that will bang you early on. There's pros and cons to both

[Flux]

You’re not different enough from what they can get on any given day, so they use you for attention and validation. Your value isn’t high enough to those kind of girls.

Girls have natural game and know exactly how to manipulate men below their value. Just as men play girls below them, for whatever they feel like getting, being casual sex, or simply the same things girls like: attention and sexual validation.

It really is all about your number on the 1-10 scale—if a person is lower than the other, he/she will get played or will have to give something extra to stay in the game.

[masta]

(09-11-2018 11:33 PM)Eugenics Wrote:  

I don't agree. If a girl is down to bang you she's probably down to try and secure comittment from you. I've mini-ltr'd several women from zero date lays or single date lays and it wasn't that hard. They are usually flattered that I wanted to see them again and found it pretty validating. They were equal SMV or higher and usually not from deeply entrenched lower class (lower middle to upper middle) like myself, but I know how to act. I've told them I'm sleeping with multiple women and they worked hard to get that exclusivity. Or if I suggestrd exclusivity (mistake) they acted surprised and admitted they throught I must have other girls (even when I didn't).

If you're getting put into the [boyfriend] provider category she's probably attracted enough to fuck with you but your game is weak and she's going to take advantage of you.

I could see it if you had zero status in the class she was from. Like if she was upper middle class and above and you're an attractive young drug dealer with alright game she's probably gonna keep you tucked away. But I bet if/when she catches feelings she'll try to sell you to her support network.

Player frame and relationship frame are just different ways to play the same game and I'm sure with both you can get what you want. I think player frame at least initially has more utility, though it might drive some virginal young girls off that have a father that RPd them early. Relationship frame might drive away some of those hoes that will bang you early on. There's pros and cons to both

The difference in the player frame and the relationship frame is that with the relationship frame, you'd be disqualifying 90% of the females you run into. Only 10% are actually worth your emotional investment. And out of that 10%, only 5% will be compatible with you. And out of that 5%, only 1% will have perfect chemistry with you (maybe even less than that).

The 99% of the women cannot take advantage of you if your standards were HB 8+ wifey material. They wouldn't even be able to touch you, for you have already weeded them out.

If you are on the road to "the one," it's a whole lot of weeding women out and having boundaries/standards. Especially in America.

Do I come from the LTR frame? I am actually versatile. I can be the player or the LTR guy depending on the chemistry.

What I have noticed a lot from the manosphere is guys still thinking that as long as you hold frame/spin plates/dominate, she will want an LTR with you.

In my experience, hot women are hypergamous/polyamorous and are playing their own game. They have their own harem. Even if you managed to "LTR" her, it doesn't mean she won't cheat and she probably already have a bunch of alphas on the side.

There is only so much you can do. "Relationships" are a matter of chemistry/compatibility more so than attraction. You can be the hottest/wealthiest guy in the room and women still won't love you (or they may love you, along with Chad, Tyrone, and Billy), but it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you or your game sucks. It's just their nature to be fickle/opportunistic.

Women are not loyal. Not even to the alpha male. They have their own egos, and their own agendas that has nothing to do with you.

When you become the highest value male and realize that women are still just using you for validation and couldn't care less about you, then you will realize what I am talking about.

[torridon747]

Yeah I don't think I'm ever going to become the highest value male. I don't appreciate the implication that I'm some runt or that I let women use me either.

I won't argue that women are fickle but I think you have some misconceptions about how women work - I'm not trying to offend you and I'm open to being wrong.

Women are as loyal as they are allowed to be. They're hypergamous - a term I'm sure you're familiar with as it seems despite your low post and rep count I'd venture to guess you've done some pua or game study - that means if their lifestyle brings them into contact with high value men and they think those men are attainable they will ditch you. To re-iterate the only way that doesn't happen is if you have more value (to her) than any other potential mate can for as close to 100% of the time as possible. And it is possible and it is possible with I would say MOST women, some are more flighty than others it's obviously a sliding scale.

If you live in an insuler community and your game is tight as fuck, you're high status and continue climbing and you've set up a structure in your LTR to keep your dominance over her and you never get soft never relax and keep it tight - instill proper dread, make it obvious that other woman want you (the prize) . What are the chances you think your girl is gonna cheat on you? What are the chances she's going to stop trying to please you? I'd say slim to none and the girl doesn't matter as much as one would think, I've never been in that situation though so to be honest I can't say for sure.

I have been in situations though were the girl never stopped trying to please me. This was accomplished with proper use of dread game, emotional domination, physical dominance, and bomb dick. That has been the winning strategy for me. We're talking staunch feminists to virgins usually a solid class or two above me wanting to spend every waking moment with me, doing things I express that make me happy - sex, cooking, cleaning, laundry all the stuff I value. I promise you that during long periods their agendas, egos, and motives were directly tied to me. The reasons why those things fell apart was was because I cracked, I fucked up, I made mistakes. I either lost frame, let some insecurity shine through or I started to relax when I shouldn't be. Men aren't allowed to be weak and let women see it. I don't blame it on women, it's their nature.

I'm not the most handsome dude and I don't have the best job, I won't try to convince anyone those things don't matter and the above paragraph isn't to brag because obviously I fucked up good situations I had up by being weak.

I am trying to illustrate that railing against women for their female nature is a waste of time. Back a dog into a corner it's going to bite you even if it's your best friend. Get sloppy, run shitty game and a women will follow her hypergamous instinct and start looking for the next man. Concepts like loyalty and honor simply do not translate from a masculine lexicon to a feminine reality. Women can be loyal just not via the pathways and means men draw it from. Men are loyal due to brothethood, obligation, honor, a sense of what's right. Women are loyal if they allowed to be and the parameters may be cryptic at first but that's why we're on a game forum. The fact that you seem to be bitter and projecting masculine values onto feminine beings leads me to believe you have some stuff to learn - as we all do.

Also if I may encourage you to take a different perspective on "the one" as you put it. There isn't one. "Chemistry" is bullshit and "compatability" is bullshit those are female terms or words people use when they don't have a firm grasp on how attraction works in all it's various forms and stages. There are women that will bare your children and stay with you your whole entire life if your game is tight and your circumstances are favorable and there are a fuckton of them. I encourage you to abandon the mysticism of "chemistry", "compatability" and " the one" - my mistake if I've misunderstood you using those as colloquial shorthand for fleshed out concepts and methodologies as it didn't seem like you were.

Edit

By the way in case you doubt women having the ability to be loyal there is evidence all around you. Mormons that have multiple wives and no time/reason to cheat. Those old couples that have never been apart a day in their lives. Legitimate virgins that pair bond with the right man at the right time and resign to a life of motherhood. Talk to some of those people if you get the opportunity.

Then when you concede it's possible for women to be loyal. Figure out how to attain it, or fuck it even if it's worth it may not be for everyone. From all indications it's getting harder in the west - everywhere honestly. Maybe some people have better shit to do.

[masta]

(09-12-2018 02:46 AM)Eugenics Wrote:  

Yeah I don't think I'm ever going to become the highest value male. I don't appreciate the implication that I'm some runt or that I let women use me either.

I won't argue that women are fickle but I think you have some misconceptions about how women work - I'm not trying to offend you and I'm open to being wrong.

Women are as loyal as they are allowed to be. They're hypergamous - a term I'm sure you're familiar with as it seems despite your low post and rep count I'd venture to guess you've done some pua or game study - that means if their lifestyle brings them into contact with high value men and they think those men are attainable they will ditch you. To re-iterate the only way that doesn't happen is if you have more value (to her) than any other potential mate can for as close to 100% of the time as possible. And it is possible and it is possible with I would say MOST women, some are more flighty than others it's obviously a sliding scale.

If you live in an insuler community and your game is tight as fuck, you're high status and continue climbing and you've set up a structure in your LTR to keep your dominance over her and you never get soft never relax and keep it tight - instill proper dread, make it obvious that other woman want you (the prize) . What are the chances you think your girl is gonna cheat on you? What are the chances she's going to stop trying to please you? I'd say slim to none and the girl doesn't matter as much as one would think, I've never been in that situation though so to be honest I can't say for sure.

I have been in situations though were the girl never stopped trying to please me. This was accomplished with proper use of dread game, emotional domination, physical dominance, and bomb dick. That has been the winning strategy for me. We're talking staunch feminists to virgins usually a solid class or two above me wanting to spend every waking moment with me, doing things I express that make me happy - sex, cooking, cleaning, laundry all the stuff I value. I promise you that during long periods their agendas, egos, and motives were directly tied to me. The reasons why those things fell apart was was because I cracked, I fucked up, I made mistakes. I either lost frame, let some insecurity shine through or I started to relax when I shouldn't be. Men aren't allowed to be weak and let women see it. I don't blame it on women, it's their nature.

I'm not the most handsome dude and I don't have the best job, I won't try to convince anyone those things don't matter and the above paragraph isn't to brag because obviously I fucked up good situations I had up by being weak.

I am trying to illustrate that railing against women for their female nature is a waste of time. Back a dog into a corner it's going to bite you even if it's your best friend. Get sloppy, run shitty game and a women will follow her hypergamous instinct and start looking for the next man. Concepts like loyalty and honor simply do not translate from a masculine lexicon to a feminine reality. Women can be loyal just not via the pathways and means men draw it from. Men are loyal due to brothethood, obligation, honor, a sense of what's right. Women are loyal if they allowed to be and the parameters may be cryptic at first but that's why we're on a game forum. The fact that you seem to be bitter and projecting masculine values onto feminine beings leads me to believe you have some stuff to learn - as we all do.

Also if I may encourage you to take a different perspective on "the one" as you put it. There isn't one. "Chemistry" is bullshit and "compatability" is bullshit those are female terms or words people use when they don't have a firm grasp on how attraction works in all it's various forms and stages. There are women that will bare your children and stay with you your whole entire life if your game is tight and your circumstances are favorable and there are a fuckton of them. I encourage you to abandon the mysticism of "chemistry", "compatability" and " the one" - my mistake if I've misunderstood you using those as colloquial shorthand for fleshed out concepts and methodologies as it didn't seem like you were.

Edit

By the way in case you doubt women having the ability to be loyal there is evidence all around you. Mormons that have multiple wives and no time/reason to cheat. Those old couples that have never been apart a day in their lives. Legitimate virgins that pair bond with the right man at the right time and resign to a life of motherhood. Talk to some of those people if you get the opportunity.

Then when you concede it's possible for women to be loyal. Figure out how to attain it, or fuck it even if it's worth it may not be for everyone. From all indications it's getting harder in the west - everywhere honestly. Maybe some people have better shit to do.

I appreciate your perspective. I don't really have any philosophies except for my own experience. I was at one time the absolute highest value male in my social circles. Even though I have been in that situation plenty of times, my own pride and ego made me underestimate how much women are a slave to validation and approval.

I was able to sleep with women with boyfriends, husbands, families, you name it. A different world exists when you are the highest status guy.

Did the guys who got cheated on lost frame? Of course not. It had nothing to do with them. Guys in the manosphere who lack experience think it's an "either or" situation with women but in reality, in 2018, it is a "both and" situation where she (hb 8+) will have a harem of men to do their bidding. She will have the best of all worlds, and it has nothing to do with your "game."

Keep in mind, I was in an unusual situation. I was working with HB8+. Their world is completely different.

Many of the females would sleep with me, maintain their relationships, have guys on the side to validate them, and would occasionally go out to some obscure club and sleep with a random guy.

No amount of dread game on my part could control these women. I would be delusional to think somehow their world revolved around me. Even though I was universally considered as one of the most attractive and high value guys, the women were not stuck on my orbit. I was actually in THEIR orbit.

An HB8+ has 1000 times more power than a high status male to surround herself with ego validating guys. They have no shortage of alpha dudes pursuing them.

You think you are playing the game? Women are the real players. They have been studying cosmo since we were playing with G.I Joe toys. I used to teach guys pickup, and I can assure you that an average HB 6 has 100 times on average more romantic/sexual experience than 75% of the male population.

A loyal woman usually has a flat ass. I'm not joking. That's because her life is simple. There aren't constant stimuli out there to seduce her. But give a female ego some options and she's going to have her cake and eat it too. And multiple servings at that.

Remember, I am not coming from the "either or" perspective. I am not arguing whether or not women can be loyal. I am saying that their realities allow them to have the best of all worlds. They can have the relationship. The validation. The boy toy, etc. And if you act up, they will just replace you.

90% of all females have issues. 20% are insecure (they go for losers), and 70% are entitled. The entitled woman is what I am referring to. Even if you managed to dread game an insecure woman, it is not worth the trouble. That leaves about 10% of women that have high self esteem and dread game does not work on them. No game works on them. They can see your fake persona a mile away.

The 10% that are well adjusted that "chemistry" with me. The words chemistry and compatibility simply means two people on the same wavelength. I am mentally well adjusted, masculine, successful in life, have little to no insecurities, and so does she.

In a sense, she is like my mirror reflection. I don't have to dread game her. At the same time, I let her go. I don't try to own her. Doing so would ensure I would definitely lose her. I enjoy her in the moment but realize that romance can be fleeting and there are no guarantees. Why would you even want a guarantee? That would take all the fun out of romance.

When I said women are not loyal, I am not projecting my own desires. I don't desire women to be loyal at all. When you become a complete person, you enjoy people and let them go. It goes against the state of abundance to try and shape people with with dread game. This is making her loyal out of fear and insecurities. The biggest compliment is when people love us without us doing anything about it. I have too much pride to be running any game on women. I only have my boundaries and values. If she has similar values, then we are "compatible."

Chemistry and compatibility is not some romantic nonsense. It also exists in male-male relationships. High achievers do not get along with lazy people. People who value themselves usually get hated on by insecure people. You are influenced by the closest people around you through osmosis. Your surroundings can either motivate you to do great things or hold you back. Posters in this forum are compatible wingmen because they share similar values and outlook in dating. See where I am getting at? When I use the word "relationship," I am not exclusively talking about the disney romantic ones, I am talking about all relationships. If you don't have certain standards you look for before allowing someone into your life, then you are going to open the floodgates to the dregs of society.

Going back on topic, the entitled HB 8+ live in a totally different society (or reality). It's infinite validation. The constant validation fries their neurons and their egos become massive and bloated. At some point, it is no longer personal. She is a narcissistic black hole that sucks everything in. This is not bitter talk. This is actual reality. When I describe the current state of American women, people tend to think I am bitter. Am I really bitter if I call a sociopath a sociopath?

Not to toot my own horn, but to give you some perspective, I've had hundreds of reference experiences with attractive women. It is not an overestimation to say that 75% of them border on being complete self serving sociopaths.

Are these women "bad." I don't think so. I enjoy crazy women too. But at least I know what I am dealing with.

It is not a patriarchy anymore. In a some parts of America (major cities), it look like a matriarchy now. She's not in your harem. You are in HER harem. From the other side of the fence (living amongst attractive women), it is straight up Machiavellian. One minute you are the most loved guy and all the women play brand new to you, the next you are quickly forgotten if you leave the circle. Simply because you have no value to them. They can't brag about your validation if you don't exist.

75% of all women are after your validation. Maybe 10% are on your wavelength. I think the "unicorn" women do exist. Perhaps in different countries. I'm not projecting any bitterness. I am simply calling a spade a spade.

The 10% of women that are on my wavelength, there are no games being played. Both parties have healthy self esteem. If anything, "game" would actually backfire. If you try to make a high self esteem woman jealous, she will disappear. If you over-compensate in any way, she will get turned off. There is only enjoying each other's company and swimming in sexual tension. However, there is no control and she is free to date whoever she wants. Whether or not I end up with a top 10% woman depends on if that is what we are both looking for. Sometimes you are just not her type for whatever reason. No amount of dread game is going to work on a beautiful woman with high self esteem and options. You will just end up looking silly.

Women date in their demographics. They can go into a relationship if they feel a connection, if you have a similar lifestyle and beliefs, or are on the same level financially. That is why I said relationships are not just about attraction. Sure, the initial attraction has to be there, but if your life is not compatible with hers, then a relationships isn't going to work. A 27 year old business woman could be attracted to a 21 year old college frat dude and maybe even sleep with him, but she won't take him seriously relationship wise. He's not in her demographic. Only guys who can't get women dwell on attraction. A high value guy assumes attraction (and so do high value women) and they think about other factors. What is this person's character like? Are they good with finances? Do they stay physically fit? Beyond attraction, there is an actual person you are investing in.

I am not saying all of these things to be argumentative. But this is simply my experience. I have no philosophies, except real life experience with women. My calibration is pretty solid with HB 8+. And although I might have come across as bitter, it wasn't my intention. I have experienced the most "in love" women in relationships flirt with me and willing to go the distance just because I was the source of validation at the time.

Women are all about romance. Men are all about greatness. Some men are willing to go completely Machiavellian to achieve that greatness. A lot of American women (most these days) are willing to go the same distance to ensure their romantic lives are validated. We are talking about self serving egos here. In 2018, with social media, women's collective egos are in hyperdrive. A lot of attractive women are straight up delusional and think no rules apply to them. All I am saying is just know what you are dealing with. I doubt many guys in this forum are dealing with the top 10% well adjusted women, which is why I mainly talked about the 90% you will run into in the night clubs.

P.S. My experiences have come from cities with heavy feminism such as SF, LA, NYC, etc. I am sure someone in Bumblefuck Alabama has a harem of /hot 18 year old chicks are is wondering what the hell is this guy talking about? I am the king, and all women submit to me. This guy is so bitter and beta!

[Flux]

Women use us and we use women; I don’t see the problem.

If you’re in the provider frame, you’ll get used more often, while in the lover frame you will completely selfishly, use women for your pleasure. If you can avoid getting attached and don’t give a fuck about most women: the power is yours.

Being good looking helps, because you don’t covet beauty in others given you don’t lack it: a beautiful woman leaving your life, while still hard, is then easier to handle. Men get into trouble when they try to compensate for a flaw they have through a woman.

As a balanced man, you’ll be impervious to women.