Quote: (08-23-2018 06:43 PM)Dasein Wrote:
After that, explain that you got [NAME of STD Here]. Do not say STD, use the exact medical name for whatever this is. Then say that you asked the doctor and he said that there were only two possibilities-- that you got it from her or that you got it from a toilet seat or other environmental cause, but that those are extremely unlikely. Then ask her again, honestly, in the last 10 years have you ever done something that may have caused this? If she has, she may actually say yes here, but odds are, she will say no. At that point make her promise it or whatever. Then tell her that she needs to get tested.
This is good start for actionable advice. At this point you need your girl to get tested, but I wouldn't bring up this conversation out of the blue because it's somewhat suspicious and may cause her to wonder why you're asking these questions after 10 years.
My advice is to find a reason to get your girl to
want to get tested. Basically turning the tables so to speak, so it's her idea that you and her should get tested.
What I would do is ask an old friend for assistance. Due to the length of your relationship, you need a friend that she knows, but doesn't know well, or at least not well enough to know when he's lying.
This friend hangs out with you and her, and tells a story about how he recently broke up with his LTR or fiancee, because she gave him a disease (let's say HPV). What happened was his ex-girl had HPV but never got tested and the HPV got so bad that not only did she infect your friend, but she also developed a high risk for cervical cancer. Make sure you enlist a friend who can bullshit enough to scare your girl about how dangerous HPV can be, and how she may be at risk for cervical cancer even at her age. He then describes how this incident basically led to the implosion of his relationship, because he believed his ex contacted HPV from another man.
Your friend then encourages both of you to get tested, not only for you and your girl's health, but for the health of your relationship. You agree with your friend and say that's a good idea, maybe you and her should get tested.
Hopefully this works well enough to plant a seed in your girl's mind. Then it's up to you to water this seed by casually mentioning HPV a couple of days later, following up with random comments about her getting cervical cancer. Be patient and don't insist for her to get tested. If she doesn't take the bait, then announce one day that your scared of HPV and that you're going to get tested. Ask her for her support and comment that she should go with you to get tested.
Hopefully, this will lead her to follow along and get tested too. If not, then at the testing lab ask her to get tested with you because you care about her and want to make sure that's she safe and cancer free.
This isn't foolproof, but it's the best I can think of at the moment. But your strategy here is to find a way to get your girl in that testing lab but making it think it's her idea.
Now obviously is she does get tested and tests positive, then you're going to need a second plan...