[Tex]

Sometime around 2015, I experienced my biggest improvement in game. Everything came together. A lot of that came because of self-control over my emotions. I had a crush once that was plaguing me, but after banging her and watching her decline, I completely got over that.

After this, I went to the Czech Republic on a poosy trip in the summer of 2016, and I felt a completely new feeling that still gives me aches of oneitis. It's been persistent and I want to hear some advice on how to forget about it completely.

Here's the background.

Early 2016

Around this time, I figured I wanted to do a solo Europe trip. I had made a trip to Scotland with Mark Fletcher before, and we visited a handful of other countries further east of the UK. It was life-changing.

I planned on the Czech Republic being my base for the trip, and from there I would move into Serbia to end the summer. After I made these plans (around February 2016), I started doing my pipelining.

I downloaded this app called MeowChat that Eastern European sloots apparently used a lot (the app was so shitty it is barely functional anymore), and pretty quickly I got opened by this Czech girl named D.

D was hot. She was tall (6'+), long hair, pale skin, beautiful face, and she was 19. Not to mention HUGE ass. I mean obscene, Tiana Gregory-level ass (see my avatar for reference).

She said, "cats or dogs?" And from there we went into long late night conversations about everything.

June 2016--Prague

I kept pipelining other girls and ended up going to Prague with this other girl I was banging at the time in the U.S. following me to Prague against my will. When that stint completely fell to shit, I spent my time gaming girls and meeting up with forum members.

Pretty quickly I met D for the first time. She lived in a nearby town and took the train to Prague this one day just to meet me. We met but the square and walked to the river and talked about Eminem and other bullshit, then I walked her back to the metro and I kissed her on the cheek or something gay like that.

For the next few days, I ended up hanging out with Courage Reborn and Slubu. These were the first two high-powered, high rep forum members I had ever met since the Battle of Toronto, and I was intimidated. I didn't want to seem like some weird guy that was impossible to chill with, because my reputation on the forum meant a lot to me.

We went night game for the first time. I was honestly more interested in being friends with these guys, so game wasn't really on my mind that much. I was only approaching girls so I could show off my skills to them (and I was trigger shy with the approaches because I was so intimidated).

Then later that week D comes to my apartment and says she can spend a few nights with me. I had talked to her mom on the phone in broken Russian and English back when I was in the US so I knew she liked me. She said she thought I had a cute face and that she was okay with D staying with me. So I ended up banging D rough as fuck in my apartment and drinking wine with her the rest of the night. That was my first EE flag and my first bang since landing in Europe again.

The next night I went to to dinner with Slubu and Courage Reborn and left D in my apartment alone. When I came back, I felt like I was in a real relationship with her. I felt like I was coming back to my wife. I never had an experience like that before. She was stunning. That was the first time I felt any kind of real emotion towards her.

We watched Curb Your Enthusiasm a bit then fucked some more then watched some Filthy Frank (she loved that shit) then fucked some more then I held her for a while and we went eat at an Indian restaurant even though I wasn't hungry and she called this celebrity friend of hers and introduced me to him over the phone (he's a rapper). It was surreal. The whole night was surreal.

Mid-2017: The Fall Out

By the time D and I parted ways, I was tired of being around her. I wanted to fuck more girls and my approaches were few. In fact, I approached this one Ukranian girl with Courage Reborn at this club one night and could have banged her, but I just settled for her number and then forgot to text her the next day to meet up for lunch like we planned on. Complete stage fright.

Once D left, I started approaching like a fucking mad man and banged a couple Turkish girls in Serbia with ease.

When I get home, D and I still talked on the phone. We talked about how she loved me, how I loved her, how we were meant to be together, how no one had ever fucked her like that, and how she was moving to Pennsylvania to be an au pair.

We made plans for me to go visit her for a few days every month when she got here (I was living in SLC at the time). But as time went on, I started to actually fall for her. Once I started really showing her, I felt the reciprocation fade. Soon enough I was texting her and she wasn't responding for days.

I let her on complete radio silence for about a month and a half, then ended up doing some 4-AcO-DMT. I got emotional as all fuck and called her and told her how much she meant to me. It went very very badly. She told me some things that strongly suggested she didn't want to talk to me at all (though I can't remember exactly what she said). The next day I called her again and asked her how she honestly felt about our situation. She said something to the effect of "I feel like we are meant to be together, but don't plan on coming visit me any time soon when I get to the U.S. I want to adjust and not stress about seeing you."

I stopped talking to her and moved on. But I never really moved on. One time, I saw her post a picture of her with another guy in bed on Intsa (after she got to the US). After that I blocked her and stopped talking to her brother (who I was becoming friends with over social media at the time).

I always thought about her. Any time I would do any kind of strong drug, or drink, I would think about her. I would think about Europe. Any time I would hear a Drake song or play Marvin's Room on piano, I would remember her.

In no way that made it hard to game. I'm currently in a very rewarding LTR with a cute girl who does anything for me. But I always think about D. And I feel like if I actually fell in love with my LTR and showed her that genuine love, she'd act the same way that D did.

A few weeks ago I got a new phone. The only things backed up to the cloud were from mid-2016. And strangely enough, my new phone imported the recent calls from my old phone as of mid-2016.

One of the recent calls was a +420 international code number (a Czech number). I was curious who it was, so I called it on FaceTime. It was D.

We texted a bit back and forth and she asked why I texted her. I told her the truth. She expressed anger in me blocking her, and she gave me attitude, so I blocked her again. I know I ruined any chance with her, and now that she's apparently back in the Czech Republic, there is no possibility of us ever ending up together. So, how do I move on finally? This has been going for years.


Edit: I just bought tickets for ULTRA, so maybe partying it up in Miami for my birthday weekend will make things better in the short-term. But I cannot find a long-term fix to get this bitch out of my head.

[Montrose]

It always goes away eventually
Meanwhile, embrace your pain

And take comfort in the fact that infatuation is a good experience in a perspective of personal growth

[yankeetravels]

Oneitis cases are hard to get past, but eventually we all do. Every guy has had at least one whether they want to admit it or not, even Roosh has discussed it. I'm actually still moving on from a girl I ended things with in the Philippines who I bonded with. Seems like you handled things well. Getting under other chicks slightly helps and it's definitely better than going dry, but I do believe it's ideal to find another quality chick to get past the other one, or get with enough decent chicks to create space between your last significant one.

To answer your question, I think you've already started the process of moving on. You just need more time. You're approaching new girls, fucking new girls, you even said you met a new LTR. Those are all necessary steps. But I think the main thing you need to do now is keep your Czech chick blocked. You can't have that opportunity to text her. I know doing that with my Filipina has helped because I used to drunk text her sometimes after I ended it.

Getting somewhat vulnerable is a tough proposition though. This forum preaches maintaining frame over girls and that's definitely doable, but if you're going to be involved with a girl long-term, you are going to end up releasing at least a little vulnerability. The best thing I can say is just keep her blocked, keep your LTR or at least re-evaluate to see if you like her as much or more than D, and remember time heals all wounds.

[Mercenary]

This sort of rookie question belongs in the newbie area...not the game section.

Where's jariel with a real talk, tough love, or beatdown when you need him ?

[Tex]

I love ya Merc, I often love your posts, but I have to call you out for not giving me the kind of respect I have always given you. When you posted an objectively newbie-sounding, probably exaggerated oneitis post, I chimed in and I didn't say "LOLOLOL newbie thread jariel wya."

I read your post, gave you thoughtful advice, and even pointed out that I thought jariel went a bit too hard on you with his real talk advice (which was still gold).

The difference between your post and mine is that 1) I gave the entire context of my issues, 2) I didn't game brag to show that what I'm going through must some kind extra-special oneitis, and 3) I asked for advice on moving on from a long-term oneitis, not asking if this is permanent oneitis or a permanent harem, since I knew and know that if you feel this way about a girl, you don't have a harem.

I'm asking for advice about how to move on from a long oneitis, and I gave background info so I can know if my game is shit or I'm just running into an inevitability of game that goes away after a while.

The jariel links talk about why you shouldn't hang on, not how to move on. In fact, I don't think a damn person on this forum has great advice on that. So we should develop that area of game on here a bit because I know for a fact a few guys on here have done it.

Because not every oneitis question is a "rookies question." Far from it.

Point is: moving on from true feelings is the most difficult part of game, period. And the majority of the time, guys just make it harder on themselves by rationalizing why they SHOULDN'T move on (rookie ass move, hence your amazing jariel links).

But knowing you don't genuinely care about her as a person, knowing your brain is still releasing chemicals telling you you love her, and doing all the right things to get away from her, these are different issues that only guys with fairly strong willpower will run into.

So try to calm down a bit man. I gave you more respect than this.

[kaotic]

Sometimes you'll have the memories flooding back of the good times you had with good women in your life

My honest answer?

Enjoy the memories and stories you had, but internally, you need to accept there WAS a reason you aren't together, and she's in your past.

I definitely have at least one women in my life I think of time to time, but as TIME goes one it becomes more and more clear why she isn't in my life and why I dumped her.

Going back to an old flame is alot like a broken record - there's a reason it kept repeating.


You're literally in the Alpha Widow position pining over a girl you once loved.

When she moved to the states she wanted to be "young wild and free" that's exactly why she didn't want to see you dude.

You have to accept that shit ain't just going to work out with this broad.


My advice is to enjoy the rewarding women you have, remind yourself of why you aren't with that old flame anymore, and look towards the future.

Start with the blocking her on EVERYTHING, including her family.

Second, report to the No Contract Thread - if you need to write your feelings out or vent, that's the place to do it, it's a support group.


Time will heal you, but stop picking at that scab, otherwise it won't heal all the way and a scar will always be there.

[Tex]

kaotic Wrote:

You're literally in the Alpha Widow position pining over a girl you once loved.

That quote is a fairly humiliating thing to read, and it's probably the best insight into long-term slut loving that I've ever read.

You're absolutely right about her wanting dick, and form everything I know about her, she's a really hot slut. Huge slut. And that hurts.

My thing is that getting over her through no contact has been going so slowly, but the No Contact thread suggestion is gold because I feel like talking about it helps you internalize "hey, this girl sucks." It's like your brain needs cues beyond knowing on the surface that the girl is undesirable. It needs to be hammered in.

[redbeard]

Beyond Borders once said something along the lines of,

"If you stayed with her, you'd wonder what it'd be like if you were single. If you were single, you'd wonder what it'd be like to be with her. It's part of being a man."

Recognize your emotions, accept them, and keep moving. There's nothing you can do.

[Investment Bro]

I hear you Tex.

D is always going to stick out because she was the first for you in a lot of ways. In terms of looks, connection, and otherwise, it seems like you rate her among the best you've had. She sticks out. This isn't one of those girls you bag a bunch of sloots to get over, or get a new LTR to keep your mind occupied.

Nah, this girl penetrated you my man. She penetrated your spirit. The most telling thing you said: "I felt like I was coming back to my wife. I never had an experience like that before. She was stunning. That was the first time I felt any kind of real emotion towards her".

Emotions like that are no joke. Your wife is the emotional center of your life, and if you felt like this chick was the same to you. In other words, the emotional center of your life. In this, adopting the whole "don't care" attitude that Jariel recommends does work, but I feel like it misses the point. You still care, which is why you blocked her.

From reading the tone of this post, I know that you're still subconsciously wrapped up in emotions of disappointment, anger, rejection, and love. There's nothing wrong with that my friend. I ran into this when my first real LTR and I split. I pushed my emotions down, and went out and bagged a bunch of new women, and even had a couple other LTRs, but it didn't do anything for me. Much like you, this was a result of my game improving drastically, as well as my perception that my emotional control had improved greatly. Eventually though, I had to sit down and ask myself: what am I missing?

That's when I realized even though I thought I was over this girl, I had a bunch of unresolved feelings towards her. Most of them were ego related. This girl had rejected me, and I had loved her. Look, that shit stings. There's no two ways around it. D posting a picture with another guy? That probably stung. Her coming to the US and not wanting to see you? Shit, no doubt that hurt too.

The key isn't to push it down, or to tell yourself you don't care. That's cognitive dissonance to the extreme, which of course manifests itself as thoughts of her during states of altered conscious (basically when your brain can't lie to itself anymore).

I came to this realization while sitting in my bed one night that I had been lying to myself for over a year. I wasn't over it, and the girls I had been with were just pills for the symptoms, not a cure for the disease.

----

There's a book called Maximum Achievement by Brian Tracy. A lot of what Brian talks about is winning the psychological battle inside and mastering yourself to win at life. I happened to be reading it at the same time as I was coming face to face with the cognitive dissonance with my own ex. It was March of 2017 when I came to the last chapter of the book. The entire chapter was about forgiveness, and the power of forgiveness. The entire chapter struck a chord.

Let's go back to that Jariel advice from earlier: adopting the "I don't care" attitude is forgiveness, but it's forgiveness by forgetting, which never works forever. It's like seeing something disturbing and trying to pretend you didn't. 90% of the time it will work, but there's always that 10% of the time where you won't be able to hold it back, and it's that 10% of the time that's eating you right now, and leading to reservations with your LTR.

If you want to get over D, once and for all you have to do one of the hardest things a man can do when it comes to a girl that had his heart and then ripped it away: you forgive her. For everything.

Make a list of all the things she did to you, and how you felt. The anger, the sadness, the loss. Look at all of it. Face it. Then commit yourself. Say it out loud "I forgive you D, I forgive you for everything"

"I forgive you for making me angry. I forgive you for not wanting to be with me anymore. I forgive you for everything you've done".

Now, as I did this myself, tears ran down my face. It was one of the most powerful moments of sadness and euphoria at the same time. I forgave the girl that ripped out my heart for everything she had done. I let go of the anger I held toward her, and I finally understood that by forgiving her, I was really forgiving myself.

I slept like a rock that night, and when I woke up the next morning I felt reborn.

I do still think about this girl from time to time, but any time I feel badly, I remind myself that I forgave her, and immediately it goes away. Once you forgive someone, honestly and truly, you can look at the experience you had together in the most positive way. You can remember the way D made you feel and not be tainted by the anger and the bruises to your ego that trouble you today.

You can appreciate the things she taught you, the moments you shared. You can be quietly nostalgic without compromising your currently LTR. More than anything, you can also give yourself over to your LTR if you so choose, because you have forgiven yourself for the actions that led to the end of your relationship with D.

That's all it is my man. Resolve yourself to forgive her. In forgiveness to her, you'll find forgiveness for yourself. In forgiveness to yourself, you will find the ultimate key to releasing the cognitive dissonance that is dogging you.

[kaotic]

That's some pretty deep shit Investment Bro - I can't even begin to imagine that.

Some of us, break ups torment us for years, others we heal after a few months.

It always help if you're the dumper - because you're rational, and you're the once making the decision.

(03-16-2018 12:51 PM)Tex Wrote:  

kaotic Wrote:

You're literally in the Alpha Widow position pining over a girl you once loved.

That quote is a fairly humiliating thing to read, and it's probably the best insight into long-term slut loving that I've ever read.

You're absolutely right about her wanting dick, and form everything I know about her, she's a really hot slut. Huge slut. And that hurts.

My thing is that getting over her through no contact has been going so slowly, but the No Contact thread suggestion is gold because I feel like talking about it helps you internalize "hey, this girl sucks." It's like your brain needs cues beyond knowing on the surface that the girl is undesirable. It needs to be hammered in.

Of course you know I wrote that not to humiliate you, but to give you perspective.

You HAVE to see it from an outsiders POV - and that's how this scenario looks like.

A slut is dangerous, a hot slut who has a hold over you, is nuclear dangerous.

AWALT - at least they're capable of being the worst things a women or human can be.

The question is, can you accept that they can be like this and move on?

It's a hard pill to swallow.

This doesn't mean you should think every single women is a whore, and be constantly paranoid and jaded or bitter.

Unfortunately the redpill does that to some guys and they don't recover.


You should be able to enjoy a good women, weather it's short term or long term but make sure you bring the toolset to be able to manage/lead your relationships with them.

[Mercenary]

(03-16-2018 12:05 PM)Tex Wrote:  

I love ya Merc, I often love your posts, but I have to call you out for not giving me the kind of respect I have always given you. When you posted an objectively newbie-sounding, probably exaggerated oneitis post, I chimed in and I didn't say "LOLOLOL newbie thread jariel wya."

I read your post, gave you thoughtful advice, and even pointed out that I thought jariel went a bit too hard on you with his real talk advice (which was still gold).

The difference between your post and mine is that 1) I gave the entire context of my issues, 2) I didn't game brag to show that what I'm going through must some kind extra-special oneitis, and 3) I asked for advice on moving on from a long-term oneitis, not asking if this is permanent oneitis or a permanent harem, since I knew and know that if you feel this way about a girl, you don't have a harem.

I'm asking for advice about how to move on from a long oneitis, and I gave background info so I can know if my game is shit or I'm just running into an inevitability of game that goes away after a while.

The jariel links talk about why you shouldn't hang on, not how to move on. In fact, I don't think a damn person on this forum has great advice on that. So we should develop that area of game on here a bit because I know for a fact a few guys on here have done it.

Because not every oneitis question is a "rookies question." Far from it.

Point is: moving on from true feelings is the most difficult part of game, period. And the majority of the time, guys just make it harder on themselves by rationalizing why they SHOULDN'T move on (rookie ass move, hence your amazing jariel links).

But knowing you don't genuinely care about her as a person, knowing your brain is still releasing chemicals telling you you love her, and doing all the right things to get away from her, these are different issues that only guys with fairly strong willpower will run into.

So try to calm down a bit man. I gave you more respect than this.

I don't see you being respectful in any way towards me back in 2016 in that thread. You called a girl I've known for over a decade "low value". If I keep seeing a girl for that long then she is anything but low value. I don't need "friends with benefits". Sex is easy to get and I'd rather bang new and strange pussy over old and used anyday. But a girl who you enjoy being with since you were a teenager (even when you are not banging her) is whole other matter.

You on the other hand, are still pining for a girl, who you spent a few days with ?!
Or i understanding your opening post wrong ?

How much time did you actually spend with this girl ?
Not online, not on the phone, but physically together with her in real life ?

[RatInTheWoods]

It will be a very sad day indeed if you ever lose that ability to have emotional feelings for a fantastic woman my friend.

Don't be too hard on yourself for being human, I think its something to glad of. Some guys in this forum deeply worry me, they have lost all feeling and live their life through their restless dick. Don't be like them.

You know what to do, the pain will fade and life will go on. But hopefully you will keep that little part of you that can pair bond safe and intact.

[Tex]

Kaotic straight up called me an alpha widow. And that is what I need to hear. Unlike you, I appreciate that kind of straight talk and I don't get offended by it. What I do get offended by is your sass when I am looking for advice. Especially since I gave you legitimate advice when you asked for it.

I had no idea you would take offense to me pointing out that your oneitis girl was low value. I didn't mean any disrespect in that at all and you should've known that.

Let's be honest: all these hoes we get oneitis over are low value. That's why it's called oneitis and not marriage.

If your girl was really some high value catch, then why not marry the broad? Why even make your post? And how the fuck was she single for 20 years?

This girl was my first EE bang. She was the hottest girl I had ever banged in my life at the time. A literal celebrity was after her. And she was pining over me for months after. She was telling me she'd do anything for me. Then suddenly that stopped, probably because she wanted to hoe around (like a low value slut). That fucked me up.

So when shit went sour I blocked her. That doesn't make the attraction any less real and it doesn't make the conversations any less real. And If I'm being honest, I derived a lot of my self-worth over having a girl that hot giving herself to me. So when things suddenly ended, it hurt twice as much. I associated her loving me with me finally going to EE alone. I associated her with me getting new flags. When she dropped me, it had all these feelings tied up with it.

But am I going to sit here and defend this girl on anything besides her looks and the quality of her ass? No. Because I don't have the defend-a-hoe Mercenary mentality.

I'm actually trying to move on. I recognize she's a hoe, I recognize I shouldn't be caught up on her, and I'm not going to bullshit people (or myself) with lines like:

Quote:

If I keep seeing a girl for that long then she is anything but low value.

[Investment Bro]

(03-16-2018 01:58 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

You should be able to enjoy a good women, weather it's short term or long term but make sure you bring the toolset to be able to manage/lead your relationships with them.

Extremely true. That's why the first one always stings the hardest, because that first chick that really blows you away is one that you aren't equipped to handle no matter how much you read.

Once you experience it, and then heal from the after effects, you won't ever have to again. That's the beauty of game. You learn from what happens and get better and tougher.

Probably my favorite part of this forum is people here understand that to grow as a man, you have to go through the shit. Tex is going to grow from this experience down the road, and it's going to lead to a more satisfying life overall.

[Mercenary]

(03-16-2018 05:19 PM)Tex Wrote:  

Kaotic straight up called me an alpha widow. And that is what I need to hear. Unlike you, I appreciate that kind of straight talk and I don't get offended by it. What I do get offended by is your sass when I am looking for advice. Especially since I gave you legitimate advice when you asked for it.

I had no idea you would take offense to me pointing out that your oneitis girl was low value. I didn't mean any disrespect in that at all and you should've known that.

Let's be honest: all these hoes we get oneitis over are low value. That's why it's called oneitis and not marriage.

If your girl was really some high value catch, then why not marry the broad? Why even make your post? And how the fuck was she single for 20 years?

This girl was my first EE bang. She was the hottest girl I had ever banged in my life at the time. A literal celebrity was after her. And she was pining over me for months after. She was telling me she'd do anything for me. Then suddenly that stopped, probably because she wanted to hoe around (like a low value slut). That fucked me up.

So when shit went sour I blocked her. That doesn't make the attraction any less real and it doesn't make the conversations any less real. And If I'm being honest, I derived a lot of my self-worth over having a girl that hot giving herself to me. So when things suddenly ended, it hurt twice as much. I associated her loving me with me finally going to EE alone. I associated her with me getting new flags. When she dropped me, it had all these feelings tied up with it.

But am I going to sit here and defend this girl on anything besides her looks and the quality of her ass? No. Because I don't have the defend-a-hoe Mercenary mentality.

I'm actually trying to move on. I recognize she's a hoe, I recognize I shouldn't be caught up on her, and I'm not going to bullshit people (or myself) with lines like:

Quote:

If I keep seeing a girl for that long then she is anything but low value.

Tex, I asked you a very simple question.
Instead of replying to my simple question, you post a 367 word answer about how you can't over this girl cause she's the hottest you ever banged.
You say you want straight talk advice, but you don't give us the story straight.


I'm gonna ask you again:
How much time did you actually physically spend with this girl ?

[Tex]

(03-16-2018 05:41 PM)Mercenary Wrote:  

(03-16-2018 05:19 PM)Tex Wrote:  

Kaotic straight up called me an alpha widow. And that is what I need to hear. Unlike you, I appreciate that kind of straight talk and I don't get offended by it. What I do get offended by is your sass when I am looking for advice. Especially since I gave you legitimate advice when you asked for it.

I had no idea you would take offense to me pointing out that your oneitis girl was low value. I didn't mean any disrespect in that at all and you should've known that.

Let's be honest: all these hoes we get oneitis over are low value. That's why it's called oneitis and not marriage.

If your girl was really some high value catch, then why not marry the broad? Why even make your post? And how the fuck was she single for 20 years?

This girl was my first EE bang. She was the hottest girl I had ever banged in my life at the time. A literal celebrity was after her. And she was pining over me for months after. She was telling me she'd do anything for me. Then suddenly that stopped, probably because she wanted to hoe around (like a low value slut). That fucked me up.

So when shit went sour I blocked her. That doesn't make the attraction any less real and it doesn't make the conversations any less real. And If I'm being honest, I derived a lot of my self-worth over having a girl that hot giving herself to me. So when things suddenly ended, it hurt twice as much. I associated her loving me with me finally going to EE alone. I associated her with me getting new flags. When she dropped me, it had all these feelings tied up with it.

But am I going to sit here and defend this girl on anything besides her looks and the quality of her ass? No. Because I don't have the defend-a-hoe Mercenary mentality.

I'm actually trying to move on. I recognize she's a hoe, I recognize I shouldn't be caught up on her, and I'm not going to bullshit people (or myself) with lines like:

Quote:

If I keep seeing a girl for that long then she is anything but low value.

Tex, I asked you a very simple question.
Instead of replying to my simple question, you post a 367 word answer about how you can't over this girl cause she's the hottest you ever banged.
You say you want straight talk advice, but you don't give us the story straight.


I'm gonna ask you again:
How much time did you actually physically spend with this girl ?

I’d have to say a total of two weeks over the span of two months.

Must have missed your “one simple question” behind the 100-word wall of text you wrote saying how I was wrong calling your girl low value. So don’t accuse me of not being straight forward.

And I don't get where you're going with this. Half the reason I shouldn't be thinking about this broad is because I couldn't spend physical time with her even if I wanted to (other half being she's a slut). So is months of talking on the phone and 14 days of hanging out and three or so days of basically living together not enough time to think about a girl to the point of being unhealthy? Should it have been 20 years?

You've spent a lot of time on this thread saying nothing, so if you're going somewhere with this try to get there.

[Mercenary]

(03-16-2018 05:46 PM)Tex Wrote:  

I’d have to say a total of two weeks over the span of two months.

That's 14 days.
You started an entire thread about a girl you only actually spent 14 days with ?

So, basically have oneitis for a girl you don't even know properly. You have almost no history, no actual long term relationship, nothing.

Unless you have many months or years of real life shared good & bad experiences together with a girl, you have no clue who this female really is.
No idea how she acts in various real life situations, how reliable or unstable she is, whether she can be a good wife or mother, if she's got issues from her past, or suffers from hidden physical or mental health problems. You know only have 14 days you actually spent with her and whatever image she presented of herself online and on the phone.

You are in love with her looks and an ideal image of her personality you have created, which most likely is far removed from her real life personality.


The solution is either to:

a)
Start meeting her in real life again and spend at least a year getting to actually know this girl in and out, to see if she merits that super high pedestal you have put her on. Hint: She doesn't and you will quickly realise how much you projected onto her that does not exist.

or

b)

Accept that having oneitis for a 2 week wonder is beta as fuck and you need to improve your game so you can bang (and not lose !) girls better and hotter than her.

Also, improve your relationship game so that when you do get a hot girl in the future you can keep her long term and she doesn't lose interest in you, especially when you show signs of awful beta weakness, like

(03-16-2018 05:46 PM)Tex Wrote:  

I got emotional as all fuck and called her and told her how much she meant to me. It went very very badly. She told me some things that strongly suggested she didn't want to talk to me at all

That's the exact moment where you lost frame and this girl's pussy dried up more than the sahara desert and you lost her for good.


...

[Rocha]

Czech = slut

I love them though.

As for the oneitis part, I feel you Tex, been there, done that. Unfortunately back then did not have the forum or the redpill knowledge and the life experience I have nowadays, so took a bit of a long time to get rid of it.

She married with some dude last October and invited me to the wedding, crazy woman, we barely spoke or been together in the last 5/6 years. I declined the invitation. On the wedding day she sent me pics of her, I would have ignored if I was bored at home, but since I was there, I replied with a live video of me having a blast at Skybar in Kiev.
After two weeks or so of the marriage she texted me "I miss you", my reply was "don't you have a husband to take care off?". I do not give a shit about her for many years now, frankly, how can I ever had thought that she was the "one". My pass time when going out was comparing other girls to her instead of approaching... and almost all of them lost in comparison....in my stupid mind back then.

As you see it all passes with time, the best solution is meeting more women and travel to strange and foreign places. Better and hotter will cross your path in the future.

[Tex]

(03-16-2018 06:25 PM)Mercenary Wrote:  

(03-16-2018 05:46 PM)Tex Wrote:  

I’d have to say a total of two weeks over the span of two months.

That's 14 days.
You started an entire thread about a girl you only actually spent 14 days with ?

So, basically have oneitis for a girl you don't even know properly. You have almost no history, no actual long term relationship, nothing.

Unless you have many months or years of real life shared good & bad experiences together with a girl, you have no clue who this female really is.
No idea how she acts in various real life situations, how reliable or unstable she is, whether she can be a good wife or mother, if she's got issues from her past, or suffers from hidden physical or mental health problems. You know only have 14 days you actually spent with her and whatever image she presented of herself online and on the phone.

You are in love with her looks and an ideal image of her personality you have created, which most likely is far removed from her real life personality.


The solution is either to:

a)
Start meeting her in real life again and spend at least a year getting to actually know this girl in and out, to see if she merits that super high pedestal you have put her on. Hint: She doesn't and you will quickly realise how much you projected onto her that does not exist.

or

b)

Accept that having oneitis for a 2 week wonder is beta as fuck and you need to improve your game so you can bang (and not lose !) girls better and hotter than her.

Also, improve your relationship game so that when you do get a hot girl in the future you can keep her long term and she doesn't lose interest in you, especially when you show signs of awful beta weakness, like

(03-16-2018 05:46 PM)Tex Wrote:  

I got emotional as all fuck and called her and told her how much she meant to me. It went very very badly. She told me some things that strongly suggested she didn't want to talk to me at all

That's the exact moment where you lost frame and this girl's pussy dried up more than the sahara desert and you lost her for good.


...

Lots of truth here, but man, I'm saying I cannot absolutely cannot in any healthy way spend time with this girl. That is 100% not an option.

And to be fair, 14 days of actually meeting (not "seeing") her is the equivalent of spending every entire weekend with a girl for more than two months straight. I just had that squeezed into spurts, with some of that staying with her. So I wouldn't call that "beta as fuck." But I feel you and I don't think what I said takes away too much from your point: I don't know this broad. I do know enough to know from experience that she would be very disappointing to end up with though.

It's those things where you logically know that she's no good, but you have feelings for a girl in such an illogical way that it's hard to internalize the logic to such a degree that it kills the emotion.

Worst part is I've fucked hotter girls since, but it's the novelty of this girl that makes it hard to shake. I'm even in an LTR with a hot (maybe hotter) girl now and have been for some months (a couple forum members can attest to this so you know I'm not making shit up here). You're overall point is still right.



I appreciate the input.

[kaotic]

Merc does have some points the most important one is that you invested wayyyy to much in her and she didn't.

At the end it was 80 you 20 her.

The whole felt like she was your wife is telling - some women can just grab ahold of your soul.

But you need to remember that shit ain't hers, its YOURS.

You decide, do you let the experience torment you, or do you learn from it and move on.

[Graft]

I caught the 'itis bad around the same time that I joined this forum. Quite a low quality girl as well, but the "I'll do anything for you" is quite a catchy phrase in a sea of flaky and disloyal women. Still hurts when I think about it to this day.

Quote:

I always thought about her. Any time I would do any kind of strong drug, or drink, I would think about her. I would think about Europe. Any time I would hear a Drake song or play Marvin's Room on piano, I would remember her.

The problem is that she is still in your subconscious. In order to erase her, you must be able to access your subconscious brain, which is activating her during certain "triggers" such as alcohol or the piano.

I would recommend hypnotism to access this subconscious part of your brain. If you check groupon, you can usually get deals of $30-50 a session. Well worth the money for a three pack if she is plaguing you that badly.

I've done it before and felt extremely relieved for a few days after the session. I just bought another package and I plan on ramping it up to get rid of my demons.

Give it a shot-traditional therapy is unlikely to work as she is in your subconscious.

[PapayaTapper]

Tex

As cliche' as it is the root of your issue lies within the old axiom

"The power in a relationship lies with whoever cares less" Uncle Wayne


Its clear from your OP that you cared more (about your relationship specifically) than she did. I know that's an obvious statement and that youre aware of it. But let's look at the why that's relevant so that we can better arrive at the how

What went wrong is obvious. Your "caring" leaked into your game and killed her attraction for you.

Period.

It probably happened over time and only became apparent to you at that critical moment (the phone call). You over invested (relative to her investment) and your pouring your heart out to her prompted her response to be repulsed by your "weakness". This is Game 101...from the outside. Everything is easier to see from the outside.

So the "why" of what happened is clear.


The "what now?" isn't so clear

The core of the issue is her rejection of your emotional"offering" We often discuss rejection on this forum especially when it comes to game. Its a part of it. Game theory teaches us not to care when a complete stranger (chick) rejects an approach / overture. After all any specific girl is replaceable. That's true.

But let's more deeply analyse the dynamics in rejection in order to get to the "what now". The only way find a solution is to first understand the problem.


1. Rejection piggybacks on physical pain pathways in the brain. I read somewhere once that studies show that the same areas of the brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. This is why rejection hurts so much (neurologically)


2. Tylenol reduces the emotional pain rejection elicits. I remember reading about a study testing the hypothesis that rejection mimics physical pain, researchers gave some participants acetaminophen (Tylenol) before asking them to recall a painful rejection experience. The people who received Tylenol reported significantly less emotional pain than subjects who took a sugar pill. Psychologists assume that the reason for the strong link between rejection and physical pain is that…

3. Rejection served a vital function in our evolutionary past. In our hunter/gatherer past, being ostracized from our tribes was akin to a death sentence, as we were unlikely to survive for long alone. Evolutionary psychologists assume the brain developed an early warning system to alert us when we were at risk for ostracism. Because it was so important to get our attention, those who experienced rejection as more painful (i.e., because rejection mimicked physical pain in their brain) gained an evolutionary advantage—they were more likely to correct their behavior and consequently, more likely to remain in the tribe. Which probably also explains why…

4. We can relive and re-experience social pain more vividly than we can physical pain. Try recalling an experience in which you felt significant physical pain and your brain pathways will respond, "Meh." In other words, that memory alone won’t elicit physical pain. But try reliving a painful rejection (actually, you already are), and you will be flooded with many of the same feelings you had at the time (and your brain will respond much as it did at the time, too). Our brain prioritizes rejection experiences because we are social animals who live in "tribes." This leads to an aspect about rejection we often overlook…

5. Rejection destabilizes our "Need to Belong." We all have a fundamental need to belong to a group. Again its part of our social wiring. A couple is by definition a group. When we get rejected, this need becomes destabilized and the disconnection we feel adds to our emotional pain. Reconnecting with those who love us, or reaching out to members of groups to which we feel strong affinity and who value and accept us, has been found to soothe emotional pain after a rejection. That's likely why you reached out to the RVF community. Feeling alone and disconnected after a rejection, however, has an often overlooked impact on our behavior…

6. Rejection creates surges of anger and aggression. I was reading an article related to school shootingsIn 2001, the Surgeon General of the U.S. issued a report stating that rejection was a greater risk for adolescent violence than drugs, poverty, or gang membership. Countless studies have demonstrated that even mild rejections lead people to take out their aggression on innocent bystanders. School shootings, violence against women, and fired workers going "postal" are other examples of the strong link between rejection and aggression. Im not saying what you are feeling is likely to cause you to go "postal" because of some broad. This just illustrates how powerful the psychological effects of rejection can be. However, much of that aggression elicited by rejection is also turned inward…

7. Rejections wound our self-esteem. Most romantic rejections are a matter of poor fit and a lack of chemistry, incompatible lifestyles, wanting different things at different times, or other such issues of mutual dynamics. Blaming ourselves and attacking our self-worth only deepens the emotional pain we feel and makes it harder for us to recover emotionally. But before you rush to blame yourself for this...

8. Rejection does not respond to reason. Emotional responses can not be controlled (without the right skill set). Take this situation. Even seeing evidence that this girl was likely taking multiple dickings does little to soothe your emotional response. Still, the news is not all bad, because…

9. There are ways to treat the psychological wounds rejection inflicts. It is possible to treat the emotional pain rejection elicits and to prevent the psychological, emotional, cognitive fallouts that occur in its aftermath. To do so effectively we must address each of our psychological wounds (i.e., soothe our emotional pain, reduce our anger and aggression, protect our self-esteem, and stabilize our need to belong).

The first thing to do is

10. Accept that your feelings exist only in your mind Your feelings of longing for this girl are internal bio-chemical responses to external stimulus. They have nothing to do with reality. Its strictly self communication. Here's a little reconditioning excercise:

Picture her sitting on the toilet taking a massive shit. Now imagine the bathroom stinks to high heaven and you hear her ripping these nasty juicy farts. Now look in the toilet and see what basically looks like a chopped up reticulated python and know that came out of her ass. Imagine all this in as vividly detailed as you can; bathroom fixtures, tiles, window, faucet, tub, etc etc

Do you see her? Im mean really picture her?



If yes then proceed





From now on every time your mind drifts to thoughts of her and the nice times you spent together I challenge you to not think of this woman taking a smelly steaming loud wet splattering foul shit coming out an 1" from her pussy hole

Youre welcome

[questor70]

I went back to read the OP and this phrase is problematic:

Quote:

By the time D and I parted ways, I was tired of being around her. I wanted to fuck more girls

The breakup makes it seem like you were in love with this woman but the above phrase suggests she was just a recreational hot piece of ass and the eventual feelings are nothing but a passing infatuation. What would have been the endgame with this woman had she not rejected you?

You have to understand this is mostly a long-distance thing and the imagination fills in the blanks. I'm only weighing in because I've been in a similar enough headspace and I know what that feels like.

What I've realized is that the only women worth fixating on are those who actually demonstrate they care about you. And I mean the present tense, since women are so damn fickle and flighty.

Now let's look at a woman who IS demonstrating she cares for you in the present tense:

Quote:

I'm currently in a very rewarding LTR with a cute girl who does anything for me. But I always think about D. And I feel like if I actually fell in love with my LTR and showed her that genuine love, she'd act the same way that D did.

At the end of the day if you value your LTR then you have to get this monkey off your back. If your LTR is just filling a void then she will eventually realize it and won't stick around.

[worldtraveler3]

I think this should be more in the newbie section, and some pics would be nice for entertainment. 14 days even consecutively is still nothing to really know some girls these days.

[Tex]

(03-20-2018 01:36 AM)worldtraveler3 Wrote:  

I think this should be more in the newbie section, and some pics would be nice for entertainment. 14 days even consecutively is still nothing to really know some girls these days.

I can give you her number too if you want, cause this oneitis has officially been kicked.

Your feedback was invaluable and probably the biggest factor to my success, worldtraveler3.