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The Only Rule For Ex's
08-19-2014, 07:07 AM
If a chick left you or you left her, there was a reason for it.
Regardless of which side of the table you're on, there is probably some of level of blame that can be shared as to how you got there.
With that being said, all that matters is that you got there.
And the only rule is, you can't go back.
When women leave you, sometimes they come back, after they've dealt with some other dicks, and found that the grass wasn't greener. They become nostalgic about your old relationship, they'll say things like "you were the only one who truly knew me", "I didn't realize what I had until it was gone", or "I know it will take some time, but I think we should give it another chance".
No bitch, you're out of time.
If the separation was on you, there was a reason you wanted to leave her behind, don't forget that, don't allow good memories to whitewash the reality.
She wasn't that bitch.
Move on, you can find her, she is out there.
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The Only Rule For Ex's
08-19-2014, 07:17 AM
I love all my EX girlfriends.
Brianna
Nicole
Ashley
Melissa
Jessica
Wendy
Julia
Anne
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The Only Rule For Ex's
08-19-2014, 07:22 AM
Move on: yup
But that doesn't mean there has to be hate or anything. I get along well with most of my ex's, and it never bothered me.
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The Only Rule For Ex's
08-19-2014, 07:28 AM
"If the separation was on you, there was a reason you wanted to leave her behind, don't forget that, don't allow good memories to whitewash the reality."
This has always been an interesting topic for me. Even in high school, I would ditch chicks...and then a few weeks later, I'd remember all of the "good times we had" and give her a call. Of course, I'd soon realize why I left in the first place.
I think the mind, in an attempt to self-preserve, keeps good memories in order to make us happy. The brain doesn't want to remember your ex as a cunt, because those negative feelings could spill over into other facets of life.
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The Only Rule For Ex's
08-19-2014, 07:43 AM
Quote: (08-19-2014 07:07 AM)jariel Wrote:
If a chick left you or you left her, there was a reason for it.
Regardless of which side of the table you're on, there is probably some of level of blame that can be shared as to how you got there.
With that being said, all that matters is that you got there.
Disagree. What matters is how you got there. Most relationships fail because the framework being used to relate to each that is in operation by default (Sex 2.0) is toxic for relationships.
I have not used 2.0 for more than 12 years now. The result? I almost never break up with girlfriends and, as I don't do fenced (exclusive) relationships that's means you just end up with an increasing number of relationships running in parallel with total honesty and no cheating
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The Only Rule For Ex's
08-19-2014, 08:02 AM
I've always been bad about going down the same road over and over and over....
Not only is it a plan full of pitfalls but it's shitty self-discipline too.
Beyond All Seas
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
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The Only Rule For Ex's
08-19-2014, 08:24 AM
Quote: (08-19-2014 07:54 AM)jariel Wrote:
If you're leaving a person behind with the intention to never go back, then how you got to the place that led to you make that decision is entirely irrelevant
And what I am saying is that there is very little reason to ever break up with a girl unless she is abusive or bad for your life.
If you are doing multiple relationships in parallel then there is nothing "zero sum" about the relationship game.
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The Only Rule For Ex's
08-19-2014, 09:04 AM
Timely thread
My rule on ex's is one and done. They usually drift off into the sunset, and that's that. Find myself not even attracted due to the thought of her being back in the wilderness.
Couple days ago, I got a text from one of my closest friends saying he had saw his recent ex for the first time with the breakup. Even though he was one of the biggest players I know he had gotten caught up in this young chicks web of bs and lies so he was still missing her. Apparently, she was in the passenger with her new guy. Not only did she step out on him, she also broke it off. They had been having problems for a minute now, and from the outside I could see it was only a matter of time. Normally, he talks a good game about being one and done but this one had really integrated herself in his life (met the family and kids) so he was taking it really hard. Since I could see he was "leaning" in the direction of reaching out to her, I had to throw a bucket of ice water over his head to remind him that he was doing himself a disservice by even considering making that move. He knew he was thinking with his heart and not his head. We chopped it up some more and eventually he had to agree although it stung in the present, he would just have to boss up and move forward.
Two themes kept coming up:
A) Going back to an ex whether she cheated or not, just tells her that you are accepting of the behavior that caused the break-up to begin with.
B) After being with another guy, she's really damaged goods in terms from an LTR vantage point. Call me selfish, but that's my true view. In the other words, the girl is dead to me at that point. Too much reprogramming would have to be done, too much investment.
Meanwhile, you could be starting with something fresh with a new one.
MDP
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The Only Rule For Ex's
08-19-2014, 09:10 AM
I agree. I am not in contact with any of my exes and honestly don't care where the are. When there was a breakup, that was it. There was no "let's take a break". I cut it off permanently and never looked back.
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The Only Rule For Ex's
08-19-2014, 09:42 AM
After my first relationship came to an end, back in early high school, I kept banging her for about a year. That is when I started to see a change in myself and noticed what worked with women. She was attractive enough, but I didn't want to be with her, I started treating her terribly, only to see her wanting more and more, and I dictated when we could meet up and such. In essence, by banging my ex and moving on to other girls at the same time, I learned what could be with women and how to handle them. Quite unconventional, but for some reason, that was when I began to take the red pill.
Now, of course I would never return to an ex. The thought of it makes me cringe. Besides, I am always improving, every single girl has been a step up from the last, and I hope to continue that trend.
"Money over bitches, nigga stick to the script." - Jay-Z
They gonna love me for my ambition.
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The Only Rule For Ex's
08-19-2014, 12:35 PM
My rule for Ex's is simple. "If they're an Ex, they are dead."
There is no parole, no pardons, nor take-backs. They are placed in the eternal caste of the untouchables. Anything having to do with them is completely purged. (Numbers, emails, photos, videos - all of them - etc.)
A year ago an ex called me. Nearly verbatim:
X - Hey Baph, it's Kelly.
B - Yes, right.
X - ...pause... It's been a little while. How are you?
B - Great.
X - ...pause... Uh, good.. I was just thinking about you and
B - You should stop doing that, Kathy, it's not getting you anywhere.
X - Kathy..? Kelly!
B - Like that's supposed to make a difference. CLICK.
NOTHING good comes from allowing Ex's back into your life. As it's been said, there's a REASON you're not together. It's easier with the devil you know, but the hell is just as bad.
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The Only Rule For Ex's
08-19-2014, 12:37 PM
cut em off like a anchor stuck on a rock. Always.
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The Only Rule For Ex's
08-19-2014, 02:07 PM
I see three things in this thread.
1. Support for a general rule (there are very few exceptions to the rule that you shouldn't try to get back together with your ex) which is a good general rule. Generally there are MAJOR reasons you shouldn't be with her or have her around. Major incompatibilities at minimum.
2. Belief that if a woman went and had another relationship (or a couple relationships) that she is just taking other dick and not worthwhile for anything. This I don't understand. Sure, if she went and slept around a ton and acted like a slut I could see you looking down on her, but just about every girl you sleep with has slept with someone before, so really, this attitude seems really insecure.
3. A lot of obvious emotional hurt bubbling through. When you look at exes, as others have said you have to take the rose colored glasses off and look at it in a logical/thoughtful way. In most cases there are serious reasons not to be with the girl again. If that's the case, great. Don't be angry that she's trying to get back with you, just tell her you're done and move forward. Ignore her if she continues.
I've got a couple friends who are exes. Sure, I don't really see them that often, but I have a good positive relationship for both of us when we do spend time together. Most exes fall under the general rule. If I treated these women like dirt just because they stopped dating me I wouldn't have the benefit of them in my life. Sure, not a huge benefit, but a benefit nonetheless.
I would date a couple of my exes again if they were willing, but the reason it doesn't happen is because they know that I won't be exclusive with them or have a real long term prospect with them.
One of the biggest reasons that I wouldn't normally date many of my exes is because the girls I date become younger relative to my age, so why would I want to date an older girl? I'd rather "marry them off" as calihunter said. I've had five exes who are married or close to married.
I'm against the grain in this regard since I mainly go for MLTR or LTR when I can find quality girl(s), so my advice/experience won't be tailored for a lot of guys here.
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